32. Annabelle
Annabelle
M y nerves are shot, my hands still trembling as Sawyer drives up his long and very luxurious driveway. As we pull up, he cuts the engine and turns to look at me.
“You know you can tell me anything. I’m a great listener.”
Tonight changed things for me. Seeing Sawyer come to my defense.
Standing in front of me, protecting me without any hesitation.
He doesn't know this town very well, and he doesn’t know Stanley and what he’s capable of.
He doesn’t know any of my history, yet he stood there, protecting me and being the man I needed.
So, with a steadying breath, I decide to trust him with my past.
“Steve was never close with his parents. They had a rocky household. His father, Stanley, is a drunk, and his mother eventually left them all when Steve was young, because she’d had enough of the beatings Stanley delivered to her.
A situation I came to know too well myself over the years.
” I feel my heart beating against my ribs as I remember it all.
“Stanley never hit me, but he always leered at me, so the threat of it was always there. I saw him hit his sons multiple times, yet my husband always went back to him. Always went drinking with him. He never left him, just like I never left Steve. In a way, we were both controlled by Stanley.”
Sawyer reaches over and opens his hand for me to hold, and I thread my fingers through his as I continue.
“I thought I knew it all. I thought I had it all.” I huff and shake my head at my own naivety.
“Steve always told me no one cared about me. Said I was nothing. Useless and I felt it. I felt every word.” I take another breath, trying to keep the shakiness out of my voice.
“For a long time, I thought Steve was just stressed, you know. Stressed about running the farm, keeping it going, bringing money in.” I huff.
“But there was no money. When he left the house, he wasn’t running the farm.
He was going to town, getting drunk with his dad, no doubt finding a woman for the night before coming home and repeating it all over again.
When he was gone, I would strap Kevin to my body and go work on the land, plant vegetables, tend to the animals. But it was hard.”
I look over to Sawyer, knowing he’s a safe space for me now. Knowing that I can trust him. He protected me and has been protecting me in his own way for months now. Showing me kindness that my own husband never did. “I haven’t told anyone any of this.”
He lifts his hand, cupping my cheek. His thumb brushes the tears that fall from my face.
“Thank you for sharing it with me.”
I roll my shoulders back as I meet his eyes.
“I bet this isn’t what you had in mind when wanting to look at doing life together. Are you going to be on your jet tonight, or first thing in the morning?” I give him an out. Offering him the opportunity to say he needs to run back to the city, anything to get away from me.
“I’m not going anywhere.” His voice is soft but stern. He means what he says, but I just…
“I like you, Sawyer. I really like you. But I’m not well put together.
I’m not elegant, nor sophisticated. I have no money, I have two kids, I have a farm that’s barely turning a profit.
I have nothing to offer a man like you. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that…
why you want to be with me seriously,” I tell him honestly, and his jaw clenches.
“Your late husband told you what he thought of you. So, let me tell you what I think of you,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine as he leans in a little closer.
“You are determined. You are resilient. You’re an amazing mom to those boys.
You’re smart, hardworking, and resourceful.
You’re a businesswoman who’s finding success after starting from nothing.
You’re a multitasker, an excellent cook, stunningly beautiful, funny, scary when you have a hoe in your hand, stubborn, prideful.
You’re not great with numbers, but that’s okay, because I am.
You’re the first person I’ve ever broken a dining table with.
I love your smile, your wild hair. I love the way you play with your hair when you lie and the way you sound when you come.
You’re all I fucking think about, Annabelle, and I meant every word I said to you tonight at dinner, and every other word before then too.
I’d like to give us a go. Your past does not define who you are.
You can change your story at any point, and I think what you’ve been doing since your husband died is exactly that.
You’ve started rewriting your story, and from where I’m sitting, it looks like it’s going to be a dream. ”
I think I forget to breathe. My vision blurs as I look into his eyes.
“No one has ever said anything like that to me before.”
He wipes another tear that falls, and I lean over, meeting him halfway to kiss him.
“Thank you,” I exhale against his lips. He’s right. I’m not my past. I can define my present and recreate a new future. My head was so locked into what it was that I couldn’t see what life is now.
With his hand still cupping my face, I look up at the house, seeing a few lights on, and I think of my boys, knowing that all the work I've been doing the past years has brought me to this moment. To this place. To meet a man like Sawyer.
“We should go inside,” I say, and he nods.
“It’s at this point I would just like to mention that I have no idea how much sugar Sutton has given the boys and am not entirely sure what we are about to walk into…”
That makes me laugh, and he grins, the two of us now feeling a little lighter for sharing.
As we step out of the car, he pulls me close, and we walk inside, eager to see my boys after being away from them.
The house is quiet, and we step into the living room to survey the damage.
“I promise Sutton is an adult… I think…” Sawyer murmurs as we look at the candy packets, glitter, rugs, and cushions sprawled everywhere.
“Looks like they had fun,” I say as he takes my hand.
“Let’s check on the kids.”
I follow him down the hall to what I assume is a spare bedroom where the kids are.
Sawyer opens the door, and I pull up short.
The bedroom is huge. There are bunk beds, toys, books, games.
There’s a bathroom off to the side that’s bigger than mine at home, and from where I’m standing, I can see bottles of bubble bath.
“Sawyer?” I’m confused, and he rubs the back of his head, the movement familiar, and I find myself smiling.
“I hope this is alright? I had it done knowing they were going to stay over.”
My heart clenches. “You did this for the boys?”
He nods slowly, seemingly unsure of my reaction.
“They’re never going to want to leave!” I tell him, squeezing his arm playfully. His generosity is out of this world.
I walk in and go to my boys. Noah’s sound asleep, cuddling a new teddy bear, his monster spray nowhere in sight. I kiss his forehead before moving to Kevin, who’s on the top bunk.
“Hey, Ma,” he whispers, half-asleep.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” I pull his blankets up a little higher to cover him.
“The best. It was awesome.”
I kiss his forehead. “I'll see you in the morning.”
“Hmmmm…” is all I get back, and I couldn’t be more content, knowing he’s happy.
“Come on, Mama, let me show you our room.” Sawyer grabs my hand again, and we leave the boys, closing the door and walking farther down the hall.
“Where’s your brother?” I look around.
“There’s another wing. He left to go there after we drove up,” Sawyer confirms, and my eyebrows lift. The house looks massive from the driveway, one of those mansions that you can’t see from the road due to the large pines and tall gates, but a whole other wing brings it all into perspective.
When he opens the door to his room, it’s like I forget how to speak.
“What do you think?” he asks.
“I think… I think…” I look everywhere, trying to take it all in.
The room is larger than my kitchen and living room combined.
The bed, I’ve never seen anything like it.
Expansive windows overlook the manicured gardens outside, with French doors opening onto a large patio.
I take a few more steps inside and see a walk-in closet, half filled with men’s clothes and half filled with women's clothes.
Frowning, I turn around to face him with a question on the tip of my tongue.
“I… ahh… I just got some clothes in for you, in case you left anything at home that you might need,” he rushes to explain, knowing exactly what I was thinking. But then what he says sinks in.
“These are for me?” I ask in disbelief. There are jeans, tops, sweaters, leggings, dresses, everything you could imagine.
“Victoria helped me pick things out. We also got some for the boys in their room.”
I walk around a bit more and step into the bathroom, this room again bigger than my own at home and fully marble, with a large tub, dual sinks, and a double shower.
“Are you okay?” He approaches my side, and I look up at him.
“Why in the world are you sleeping at my place when you have all this?” I’m gobsmacked, and he chuckles.
“Because as good as this is, it doesn’t have you.”
My chest is fluttering even before he takes my lips in his and wraps his hands around my waist, pulling me tight.
After the night we’ve had and the emotions I’ve moved through, I lean into him and give myself over. This man has continually shown me that he’s here for me and the boys, and as his tongue slides against mine, I feel the last steel fence around my heart disappear completely.
“You feel so good in my arms, Mama,” he murmurs against my lips, deepening our kiss as his hands splay over my back and hips, touching me as much as he can.
“Sawyer?” I say breathily.
“Yeah?”
“Make me forget about tonight…” I’m tentative, still a little nervous at how I approach sex with a man, although Sawyer makes it easier and easier all the time.
“Tell me what you want, baby.” His lips slide down my jaw, and I feel my nipples pebble, my senses heightened.
“I want you… I just want you…”
I shiver as his fingers run down to the hem of my dress, reaching mid-thigh before he lifts it up and straight off my body. When I kick off my boots, he peels off his shirt, leaving him bare-chested in jeans, a sight I’m still not used to. I swallow roughly as I look him over.
“Take your time, baby. We’ve got all night.” A wicked grin comes to his face as my cheeks heat from ogling him.
“I don’t want to wait a minute longer.” I barely finish saying the words before he’s on me. His lips smash into mine again, and his hands find my ass, lifting me and walking us to his bed.
“I lose all control around you…” With lips brandishing my neck, his hands unclip my bra, then he pulls the straps from my shoulders, finding my pebbled nipple with his kisses almost instantly.
“Oh God… I forgot how good your lips feel…” I moan, biting my bottom lip as I throw my bra across the room before my hands dive to his waist, and I open his jeans.
As I push them over his hips, he sits up, kicking off his boots and jeans and underwear before coming back to me, the only thing between us now my basic cotton underpants.
“I forgot how good your body feels against mine.” His mouth trails over my curves, leaving a trail from my nipples over my stomach and hips. His hands mold my breasts, and I see the redness from his injury today, completely contrasting with my pale skin, and my arousal increases even more.
“So fucking beautiful,” he groans as he sits up to look me over, and I grab his hand, pulling him back to me so our naked bodies collide. He’s warm on top of me, my legs spreading for him as he kisses me until I’m breathless.
“Yes… please…” I pant out when I feel his hand hovering over my center, wanting to feel his touch everywhere, needing more.
“So eager for me… so fucking eager,” he grits out, and as his finger brushes my clit, my body jolts, my back arching. His lips find my nipple again as he starts to work my body like he knows every inch.
“Oh God… yesss…” My hips grind against his hand almost instantly, needy for him.
“Fuck, you’re so wet… so perfect for me, baby…” he groans as he works me over, my body tingling from the precise way he’s playing with me.
“Sawyer,” I pant out in warning, feeling my orgasm already building as he rubs against that spot inside me that makes me tremble.
“That’s it, fuck my fingers,” he says gruffly, before his lips claim mine again, and I moan into his mouth.
“Please keep going, please…” My back arches, his hand not stopping, taking me all the way to the edge.
“Yes! Sawyer!” I start to cry out, before he covers my mouth with his, and I come powerfully. My body shudders, my moans and whimpers falling on his lips as his fingers slow.
He pulls his head back to look at me. “I’m not finished with you yet.”
I smile, a wanton giggle leaving my chest. I was hoping he wasn’t.