Chapter Twenty-Four
“HELLO, THIS message is for Daniel Greene. This is Deidra Boynton with Value One Loans. I’m sorry, sir, but your loan application has been disapproved. We apologize we couldn’t align at this time, but please do consider us for your future needs. Have a great day.”
It was the next afternoon, and Daniel had woken to another loan rejection, Aaron gone, and a text that said, Sorry I fell asleep last night. Had to run out. Didn’t want to wake you. Be back in a couple hours .
He’d gotten a sub for his class so he could be home when Aaron got back, but it was like he didn’t know what to do with himself, so he paced around the apartment, drinking coffee he didn’t need. He always gravitated toward the plants by the window. It was the liveliest place in the apartment and, somehow, the most peaceful. Maybe it was the bonsai tree. Aaron hadn’t worked on it much lately, such that it’d started to deviate from its shape, but it was still beautiful. Daniel smoothed the beaded earring between his fingers.
He happened to glance past the bonsai at the street below just as a shiny black Porsche rumbled up to one of the meters. For some reason it reminded him of Aaron. Maybe because Aaron loved cars. Maybe because everything reminded him of Aaron.
He’d almost turned away when the most elegant of men emerged from the driver’s side. The sight of him made Daniel’s teeth snap closed. Marco.
Then, from the passenger side, stepping out with a sheepish smile, Aaron.
It was like he couldn’t even gasp. His heart climbed into his throat and sealed it shut as Marco jogged around to join Aaron. There they stood on the street together. Laughing.
They looked powerful—same height, same style, same dignified air, full of pride and admiration for the other. The two A-list actors .
Daniel had been haphazardly hiding behind the fishtail palm tree, but he stepped out. It wasn’t like they seemed to mind who saw. He pressed his forehead onto the cold glass of the window as Marco reached into the back seat of his car to reveal a thin, burnt orange box. He handed it to Aaron.
Daniel and Marco likely both held their breaths in anticipation as Aaron unwrapped it.
Did he love it? The silky white dinner scarf he fanned out and slid around his neck. The one that made his face light up. It looked expensive. It looked like something Daniel would never be able to afford. Marco pulled Aaron into a hug as Daniel hugged himself.
Then Marco pulled Aaron into a kiss.
Something cold and viscous, like an egg yolk, oozed the length of Daniel’s spine. Aaron had lied. He’d said they didn’t do that. He’d lied.
His fingernails raked down the window as if he could stop it. He should’ve turned away. He should’ve fixed his gaze on anything else or forced his eyes shut, but he couldn’t, and so he stared as his beautiful boyfriend softened into another kiss with another man. But not just any man. The perfect man.
To the people walking by, just another couple in love stood holding one another, talking about where they’d get takeout later and should they heat up the hot tub? Did he remember to call the landscaper? Magnolias, they’d decided. Magnolias would look nice.
Daniel’s breath fogged the window.
I choose you. I’ll always choose you. Please hang in there with me.
Aaron and Marco finally parted ways, stretching their arms long just as a loud crash echoed throughout the apartment.
“No!” Daniel plunged to the floor.
The coffee mug he’d been holding, the one Butchie had gotten for him on a trip to Destin, lay shattered in a hundred sky-blue pieces. It had said “Home Is Where the Caffeine Is” next to a sea turtle in glasses riding a bike. It made no sense, and it was one of his most beloved possessions.
He slumped to his knees. When he tried to sweep up the pieces, he cut himself. “Shit!”
“Oh, hi.” Aaron strolled in, concern knitting his brow as he checked his watch. At least he’d stuffed his fancy new scarf into his coat pocket, even if the tassels stuck out like a secret desperate to escape. “What are you doing here? Don’t you have class right now? ”
“I got a sub.” Daniel charged to the sink.
“Oh my God, you’re bleeding,” Aaron said, following him. “What happened?”
Daniel wrapped a paper towel around his finger. “Nothing.”
“Let me see it.” Aaron reached for him.
He twisted away. “It’s fine.”
“What’d you do?” Aaron tugged at his arm. “Just let me see it.”
“I said it’s fucking fine!”
“Whoa.” Aaron held both hands up. “Are you… okay?”
“No.” He swallowed over and over until he couldn’t anymore. He shifted his weight around. He’d been here before. Come get me. “I saw you with Marco.” He tipped his chin at the window, his voice a shattered mess. “Down there just now. I saw you guys together.”
“What? How…?” Aaron trailed off as he turned to the window. He scanned the starburst of coffee and ceramic on the floor. Then his eyes rolled closed and his face clenched as he squeezed the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I can explain—”
“You said you guys didn’t do that. You lied to me. Why’d you lie to me?”
“Look, I didn’t lie. It only recently started getting, um. But we haven’t. We haven’t done anything. We’ve only kissed.”
“Yet. You haven’t done anything yet .”
“Well.” Aaron licked his lips, arms folded, fingers tapping on his biceps. “Fuck. Okay, yes. But Daniel, I’m an escort. What is it you think I do?”
Daniel slowly swayed his gaze around their home. He was surrounded by beautiful things, Aaron included. And for the first time, the sight of the place, the presence of Aaron—it was all genuinely tiresome. He ran his tongue over his teeth, then bit it until it hurt. “I don’t want you to go on this trip with him.”
Aaron started to speak, but it fizzled into a sigh. “Okay, this is good we’re talking about this. Here. Have a seat.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Okay, or don’t.” Aaron pulled out a chair at the table and plopped into it, folding his hands. “Listen to me. I don’t think you understand how much money it is—”
“I don’t care how much money it is.”
“But we have a wedding to consider, and the studio and rent— ”
“I don’t care. I don’t fucking care. God!” He dug the heels of his palms into his skull. “I am so sick of thinking about money. Aren’t you sick of thinking about money?”
Aaron blinked at him for a long time, like the question had been lost in translation. Like the question was so perplexing that he couldn’t even summon an answer. He finally said, in a confused whisper, “But we don’t have a choice. We have to think about it.”
Then it hit him. He stilled from head to toe, because if he didn’t ground himself, he would stagger backward at how hard it hit.
This entire time, he’d been worried about Marco. Worried that Marco would sweep Aaron off his feet with the confidence, the looks, and the prestige. But Aaron wasn’t going to fall in love with Marco, because he was already in love.
Daniel wasn’t competing with Marco for Aaron’s attention. He was competing with money.
“Baby, I promise I don’t have feelings for him,” Aaron said. “I swear it. You are it. I’m marrying you.”
The thing about competing with money was: it was a race he was never going to win.
“Don’t you believe me?” Aaron asked. “Don’t you trust me?”
Daniel’s wide exhale sank his arms heavy by his sides. “Of course. Of course I do.”
Aaron eyed him watchfully. “You do?”
“Yes.” If tears were standing by, there’d be no fighting them. “You should leave on this trip if that’s what you need to do. But I need to leave too.”
Aaron’s face didn’t budge a muscle. Not one twitch. “What does that mean?”
Daniel sipped in air to keep from crumbling. In a tiny voice that sounded like it squeaked from another room, he said, “Leave, Aaron. Leave us. Leave you.”
The way Aaron stood from the table, he almost looked dizzy. “Okay, so. Uh. Look, why don’t you take a spa day while I’m gone, hmm? You’ll have the whole apartment to yourself. That’ll be nice. Then, when I get back, we’ll focus on the wedding. That sound good?”
Daniel slowly dipped his head to the side and studied Aaron. Aaron who wasn’t convinced, but in his defense, he hadn’t said it all that convincingly. “Mister.” He shook his head. “There is no ‘when you get back.’ When you get back, I will not be here.”
Aaron froze.
“I will be gone. Do you understand?”
“Uh-huh. I understand ultimatums are how people get hurt. We talked about this.” Aaron pointed to his engagement band. “If you wanted it to be over, you’d take it off. That was the deal.”
Daniel smoothed a thumb over the ring. “I’m not going to take it off, because I want you to fight for me.”
“I am fighting!” Aaron’s eyes were so wild and intense as he slung an arm out to the side. “Fuck, can you not see that I’m working to build a life for us? We need money to live. This is the only way I know how to make money. I can’t take care of you or Andrew if I—”
“Andrew?” Daniel’s brow knitted as he searched Aaron’s face. “Andrew your brother?”
Aaron blinked for a moment like he was orienting himself. Like he hadn’t meant to say that.
“Oh, sweet man.” Daniel held his hands to his heart, his voice tangled with sympathy. “It’s so noble that you did what you did for him. And your mom. And me. It’s noble the way you tend to everyone around you. You make these huge sacrifices, and you ask for nothing in return.”
Aaron shook his head as if to deny it or maybe clear it of whatever fog it was in.
“But I don’t need that. I don’t need you to take care of me. You understand, right?”
Aaron rushed to him and cradled his face, tipping it back. “Baby, listen to me. You know how much I admire your spirit. I think it’s courageous to dream, but we cannot survive on dreams alone. We just, we can’t .”
Daniel parted his lips when Aaron’s gaze fell to them. Then Aaron’s phone pinged from his pocket. After a moment, he broke his gaze away and checked his phone, then sighed. “I have to get ready.”
At Daniel’s nod, Aaron pressed their lips together for a sweet second. The smile he wore was stilted but lovely as he backed away toward the bathroom, stretching out their arms as long as he could until they had to drop.
“You should kiss me better than that.”
Aaron twisted around .
“You should kiss me.” A breath. “Like you did at the party.”
Aaron didn’t overthink or hesitate, which was such a profoundly admirable trait of his. He narrowed the space between them and yanked Daniel in by the waist, their bodies tense yet snug. At home. He kissed him. He kissed him genuinely and with so much depth. Until the clock ran out, until the last moment he could, until Daniel’s eyes burned with tears, he kissed him with everything he had.
“There it is,” Daniel whispered once their lips unlocked. He touched Aaron’s face and pressed their foreheads together. “That’s a kiss.”
Aaron blinked a lot as he scratched his temple. “Hey, uh. Don’t, um. Everything’s going to be okay. Right?”
“Yes.” Daniel nodded, warm tears streaking his vision. “Go get ready. I’m gonna take off too.”
Aaron chewed his thumbnail as he reeled away a few steps. It was like he couldn’t decide where to look, his gaze swinging from Daniel to the bathroom and back to him. “I’ll call you every chance I get. We’ll sort this out. We always do. Okay?”
I hope he’s good to you.
“Daniel,” Aaron said when he didn’t answer, fidgeting by the bathroom. “Okay?”
But I know he will be. Daniel wiped his face and nodded. He already is. “Goodbye, Aaron.”