Chapter 20
20
JOSS
Seven Months Later
My phone burned a hole in my pocket as I rushed out of the back door at work and to my car. I’d gotten a text from an unknown number that I was dying to respond to.
Unknown: Miss your face, babe. Call when you’re free.
It was Cheyenne, I was sure of it. I hadn’t talked to her in almost a year because she had to go into hiding to escape Peter’s harassment. This radio silence was killing me.
I missed my friend. I missed her so much, I almost didn’t care if this text was a trick. I needed to talk to her, to make sure she was okay, as much as I needed my next meal.
The phone rang once before it was answered, and those fears in the back of my head that this wasn’t Chey blew away on the breath I let out when I heard her familiar voice.
“Girl, it has been way too long.”
Tears welled in my eyes, and I curled around myself as if I could reach through my phone and pull her into a hug. “Cheyenne! I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too, babe. You doing okay?”
Swallowing the ball of emotions that choked my throat, I let out a huff of a laugh. “Yeah. I’m doing okay.”
It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the full truth. But I couldn’t explain the past week if I’d wanted to.
We’d had some unexpected visitors at Bridgewater Security. An ex-cop and his hacker friend flew in from New York to ask Lee about the teen who’d gone missing when Kelly O’Connor had been abducted a year ago. Rylan had gone with them to search for answers and ended up getting grazed by a bullet that could have been so much worse.
My emotions had been a hot mess all week, and Rylan’s injury was only part of it. The arrival of these two had thrown my little world into chaos, and it made me realize just how lonely I’d become.
“You don’t sound okay,” Cheyenne said, her voice quiet in my ear. “You still having boy troubles?”
A laugh shot out of me. “ Boy troubles?”
“That’s what troubled you the last time we talked. These damn boys .”
“I don’t think I’d consider Rylan a boy .”
“Wait. Rylan? You mean Unicorn Dick?”
“Chey!” I glanced around the parking lot to see if anyone was there. As if they could hear my friend through the phone. “Don’t call him that.”
She hummed. I knew that hum. I braced myself for what was coming next. “So, what’s this about? Last I knew, you and Unicorn Dick were at each other’s throats.”
“Oh. You know…” Rather than continuing, I started my car and turned the heat on full blast. Even though my body warmed at the thought of Rylan, I could still feel the frigid January cold.
“Nope. No, I don’t know. The last time we talked, he wouldn’t stop staring daggers at you because you walked out on him after you got married .”
“Chey!”
“What happened? He finally decide the sex was too good?”
“Chey! Oh my God!” Laughter bubbled through me. “He… We…” I sighed. “We made up.”
“You made up.” She didn’t phrase it like a question. It was more like a demand for more information.
I glanced around again, then ducked down in my seat. “We made up. He asked me on a date, and we ended up getting drenched by a storm. He brought me home and walked me upstairs and?—”
“And it happened again?”
“What?”
“You ended up in bed together and you rode his magical dick?”
Heat that had nothing to do with the tepid air blasting from my vents rose to my cheeks. “He is magical, Chey. Every last bit of him.”
There was a beat of silence that left my skin itching. Then Cheyenne asked, “Are you together now? Like, husband and wife?” When I didn’t respond, she pressed harder. “Are you dating at least?”
“I think so.”
“You think so? Sweetie, is he stepping out on you?”
“No!” I shook my head even though I knew she couldn’t see. “We’re together, we just… We don’t really talk about it. We work together, Chey, and nobody knows there’s anything between us. But I’m not seeing anyone else, and he definitely isn’t either.”
“How do you know?” There was nothing but genuine care to her voice, no malice or hostility in sight.
How could I explain Rylan to someone who didn’t know him like I did? I saw his schedule. I knew his friends. If he wasn’t working or out with them, he was by my side, begging me to do those wild and crazy things he loved so much.
He’d taken me rock climbing. Boating out on Lake Michigan. We’d walked every trail and park in the city, went to every thrilling adventure within the city limits that he could find for us to do.
And most nights—the ones I knew he wasn’t working—he was in my bed, or I was in his.
This secret relationship had budded into something I didn’t have words to describe, and thinking about him always left my heart racing and my mind going fuzzy with glee.
“New question.” Cheyenne’s sharp tone had me snapping back from where my mind had wandered. “Are you just a booty call? Is he just using you for sex?”
“No.” I shook my head again. “I promise, it’s not like that.” To ease her worries, I told her about the man who’d stolen my heart. The things we did over the months we’d been together. The way he wanted to know every little thing about me. The way he danced with me now, the same way we had at the wedding reception we’d attended last year.
Lee had hired Jen Lucas, Kelly’s old friend and the girlfriend of his business partner, Vinny Leonetti, as his accountant. After Vinny and Jen got married down in the Caribbean, they had a beautiful reception back here in Chicago. Almost the whole team at Bridgewater had attended, and I’d danced with all of them, even Jen.
But none of them left me quivering the way Rylan had.
Since that night, Rylan made a habit of pulling me to him and dancing, even when there was no music playing. At first, I thought it was a product of his jealousy over Van, but he did it so consistently, I pushed that theory from my head.
Now, it was just one more thing that had me aching for the man.
“You’re in love with him,” Cheyenne said when I finally fell quiet. “Have you told him?”
My throat clenched as my eyes prickled with heat. I adjusted the vents so the hot air wasn’t blowing right in my face.
“Joss, sweetie?—”
“I haven’t told him.” It was nothing more than a whisper, but Cheyenne’s sigh told me she heard it.
“Why not?”
My throat closed up at the same time my heart clenched. I didn’t want to say it out loud. That I didn’t think I was worthy. That this whole thing with Rylan had been nothing but a dream and saying it aloud would make it disappear.
“Don’t you think you deserve this?” Cheyenne asked, the compassion in her voice ringing clear. “You’ve been through hell, babe. It’s about time you were given an ounce of the love you put into the world.”
“I don’t need to be given anything.”
“Except that magical unicorn dick.”
Laughter burst from my chest and was joined by Cheyenne’s on the other end of the line. I was so distracted by it, I didn’t notice anything outside. When something hit my window, that laughter was replaced by a scream as I almost jumped through the roof.
“Van!” My friend stood outside my door, his face nearly pressed to the glass. I rolled down my window, yelling at him as it went. “You scared the shit out of me!”
He leaned in, putting his arms on the door frame as he gave me a crooked smile. “Whatcha doing?”
“I’m talking—” I looked down at my hand, which was no longer holding my cell phone. I scrambled around, finally finding it tucked under the edge of a blanket I kept in the footwell of my passenger seat. Into the phone, I said, “Just a minute, babe,” before turning back to Van. “I was on the phone.”
“I see that.” He looked me over, and I swore he knew something he shouldn’t. “Everything okay?”
“What?” I tucked my hair behind my ear. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”
Van smirked, then rubbed my head like he often did with Kolton, messing up my hair and tossing strands of it into my face.
“Van!” He edged back, out of my reach, and laughed as I fixed my hair. I caught sight of Rylan over his shoulder and chewed the edge of my lip.
I hadn’t seen him come into the parking lot. He hadn’t been here when I left the building.
Van stepped in front of me, blocking Rylan from my line of sight, and bent until he was looking me in the eye. “You let me know if you need anything, alright? I’m here for you, whatever you need.”
With my nod, Van reached in and tossed my hair again, laughing as he stepped back. He waved once, then spun on his heel and went straight toward Rylan.
“Dammit!” I pulled my phone back to my ear as Van reached Rylan’s side.
“Everything okay?”
I let out a sigh. “Not really. Rylan and I had plans after work and Van just intercepted him.”
“Booty call?” she said with a laugh.
“No!” I couldn’t control the squeal in my voice. “We were going to the park to see Frank.”
“Frank, as in your crow bro?”
“Yes, my crow bro. And don’t even start with me. You’re the reason I even started feeding him to begin with.”
“Sweetie, when I told you that you needed a man in your life, Frank is not what I meant.”
“Yeah, well, Rylan thinks he’s cool, so there.”
Cheyenne let out a little giggle. “ So there. Damn, I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“Look, babe, I gotta get to work, but I’ll call again as soon as I can.”
“Promise?”
She hummed in response.
I hated that hum.
“I’ll promise to call if you promise me something.”
“Chey—”
“I mean it, Joss. You need to tell him. You deserve to know what you are to him. I’m not saying you have to dust off your marriage certificate, but?—”
“I know?—”
“But you both deserve to know.”
My God, I loved him. I loved him so much it hurt.
What if he didn’t love me back? What if, like Cheyenne said, I was nothing more than a booty call?
“Promise?” she asked, prompting me out of the spiral of my thoughts.
“I promise,” I whispered, pushing the words through my tight throat. “I love you, Chey.”
“Love you too, babe. Talk to you soon.”
After hanging up, I peeked over at Rylan and Van. They were still talking, Van acting as if he had nothing better to do in the world. I pulled up Rylan’s name on my phone and shot off a text, telling him to meet me at my place when he got free. Then I put my car in gear, waved at the two men, and drove out of the lot.