CHAPTER THREE
Alison shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she reread the paragraph on her screen for the third time.
She gritted her teeth as she did her utmost to take in the information and not let her mind wander.
She even leaned forward in the hope that the information would reach her eyes and, subsequently, her core memory in her brain, being retained this time.
She stopped halfway through the paragraph and picked up a pen from the stationery holder on the back corner of the desk to throw it at the wall to her left.
"Is this a bad time?"
Alison jumped in her chair, more through embarrassment than fear.
She looked from the door to where Dr. Victoria Canton stood on the floor to her left, where the pen now resided.
A breath caught in her throat as her shoulders jerked, forcing the tears forth.
Still, she’d fought back tears constantly over the past couple of weeks, and she did so again, willing herself not to cry.
Alison wiped her eyes with the back of her sleeve. "Sorry, I…"
"I know. I completely understand," Victoria said. She gestured at the chair on the opposite side of the desk to Alison. "May I?
"Please," Alison said quickly. If she had company, she didn't have to worry about the poor job she was doing at trying to ingest the information she had been tasked with reading and forming an opinion on.
"I wanted to check in on you," Victoria said as she sat. She gave a tight smile before adding, "Again. How are you…?"
Alison laughed through her nose. "Whatever do you mean, Victoria? I’m just tossing pens across the room like normal. I’m totally fine."
"Is there anything you need?" Victoria asked gently.
"Yes," Alison replied. "But no one can give it to me. I’m sorry, I—"
"Don’t," Victoria warned. "You don't need to apologize for what you’re going through. I can't imagine what this is like for you. We’re here if and when you need us, and you are welcome here for as long as you like. You’re the most experienced person in the office, but you’ve been away for almost two years.
You’re practically a new hire. I expect the same level of work as an intern. "
Alison laughed again, but a hearty one, this time, and she held her smile for the first time in two weeks.
"Two weeks," she shook her head, shaking away the smile.
"I don't know what I was expecting. It’s been twenty years since my sister was murdered, but two weeks feels like an eternity.
I don't know." Another shake of her head.
"I expected them to have him by now. I didn't think it would last this long.
I chased him for twenty-two years, and we let him slip out of our hands. I sat face to face with him, and—"
Alison’s head dropped forward into her hands. No tears came, only the horribly unsettling feeling that they had messed up and wouldn’t ever get him.
When they had gone to talk with Howard Mills, Derek and her father had fingered him as a potential suspect.
It wasn't until he made a run for it, pushing Derek down the stairs in the process, that their hunch had been confirmed.
For twenty-two years, they had been looking for Howard Mills, and in less than five or six minutes, he'd escaped them and was now on the run.
"They won't let me go anywhere near the case," Alison said, biting her lower lip too hard. "I know I can help them if they’ll let me."
"I know," Victoria sympathized. "And I know that you know you have to be patient. This is a federal case now. He killed Emma, and I know how much you want to chase after him, but that’s not what you’re good at. You can get into a killer’s mind and perceive what they might do and figure out why they do it.
This is a manhunt now. That’s not your expertise. "
"I know," Alison moaned. "I just feel useless sitting here and not being able to help."
Victoria sighed dramatically. "Some intern you’re turning out to be."
Alison smiled. "I am thankful that you let me come back. This was where I learned to be a profiler. This was my home for more than a decade. I felt awful when I took the position full-time with the CBI."
"I know you did," Victoria said with a smirk. "I almost said something to you back then to make it even harder for you to leave. It was hard to see you go, but it was where you needed to be. You only have to look at what you accomplished over the last two years to realize that."
"None of that will matter if they don't find Mills," Alison said. Her eyes flickered to the stationary holder on the desk, and she had another urge to toss something.
Victoria tilted her head closely and took a moment before responding. "It does matter, and you know it." Her tone was stern.
Alison looked down at the desk.
"You’ve helped more people than most, and saved so many lives. Don't you dare diminish that," Victoria warned.
Alison continued to look down at the desk.
She hadn’t felt so scared since she was a child.
Or so rebellious. She wanted to complain more about not being able to help pursue Mills or even work the case, but she knew Victoria was right.
There were systems in place for a reason, and she would only feel helpless in a completely different location if she were allowed to hope.
"I hoped coming back to work here would take my mind off the case, but I still can't think straight." Alison finally looked up, holding Victoria’s gaze. "I’ll be better."
"I don't want to hear it," Victoria said.
"Usually, I want my staff to do the best they can do and do more, so we can help more people, but not in this case.
I don't care what you get done while you’re here, and I don't expect you to get anything done.
I won't lie, it’s really good to have you around. Don't worry about anything."
"Thank you," Alison replied. "It’s—"
She stopped when her phone rang, and her heart beat like a drum when she saw the number: local PD.
Alison stopped up her phone in a hurry. "Hello? Alison Payne speaking."
"Alison, it’s Detective Moore."
Alison had worked with Detective Samantha Moore on a previous case. She didn't know that Moore was aiding in the manhunt, but then again, most of the state and beyond were.
"Is there news? Do they have him?" Alison asked.
"News of—Oh, no, sorry," Detective Moore said quickly. "I’m not—I don't know if you want to talk about that."
"Why did you call me?" Alison asked, wanting to hang up.
"I know you’re going through a lot, and this is the last thing you need, but I could really do with your help."
Aliso didn't immediately hang up or say anything.
"Again," Detective Moore added.
Alison and Detective Moore had worked together previously, and Alison liked the woman. In any other circumstances, she would have already been asking for details about the case, but how could she think about anything else when all she could think about was Howard Mills?
"I’m not much use right now," Alison admitted. "I’m sorry. You know I would help you if I could, but my mind is not in a good place."
"I know how you work," Moore said. "I’d take you at half capacity over anyone else at my disposal, but I completely understand. I know this is asking a lot, but even if you take a look at the case and give any thoughts, I’d really appreciate it. You don't need to be a part of the case."
"I can't promise anything," Alison said, "but send what you’ve got over to me, and I’ll take a look. If I won't be any help to you, I’ll let you know."
"Thank you. I really appreciate it." Keys clacked on the other end of the line. "I’m sending you the files over now. Dr. Richard Langford. He was killed in his office late last night, and it’s the kind of thing I know you’ll have some insight on. No pressure, okay?"
"I’ll take a look," Alison said.
There was some silence between them before Moore spoke again. "If there’s anything I can do."
"Thanks," Alison said.
There was some more silence before they said their goodbyes and ended the call.
"Sounds like you’re in demand," Victoria said. "You know you can consult on a case if that’ll occupy your mind better."
"I don't know if it will," Alison admitted. "I can't do substandard work if it’s for an active case. I’ll take a look, but I don't think I can take it on."
"What’s the case?" Victoria asked.
"I’m not sure yet," Alison admitted. "Someone was found dead in an office last night. That’s about all I know so far. Dr. Richard Langford."
"What?" Victoria gasped. She brought her hand to her mouth. "Richard Langford? You’re sure."
"I think so. Detective Moore sent me the file." Alison opened her email on her laptop and found the file Moore sent. "Dr. Richard Langford. Did you know him?" She looked up at Victoria.
"Yeah, I knew him." Victoria took a moment to retrieve a handkerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes. "I’ve worked with Richard many times over the years. Perhaps we weren’t dear friends, but I respected his work, and we got on well.
I don't know what happened to him, but I know he didn't deserve it.
Can you…No. I don't want to see it. I don't want to know. I don't know what I want."
"I’m sorry," Alison said. "Who was he?"
"He was one of us," Victoria said. Her lower lip trembled. "A forensic psychiatrist. He did a lot of assessment work along with consultations with prisons and treatment facilities. The one thing that always stood out with Richard was that he knew more than anyone else."
Victoria smiled and wiped her eyes again before continuing.
"And it wasn’t in an arrogant way. He never made a show of it, but you always knew. And it was because he did his research. He wanted to ensure he got it right the first time. That was always his thing."
"Can you think of anyone who might have wanted to hurt him?
" As soon as she asked the question, she knew she would look at the case. Victoria had helped Alison in her career more than anyone else, and Alison had a drive to give back. The case was an opportunity to help her friend, and the look on her friend’s face pushed her to help.
"I can't imagine who would want to hurt him," Victoria admitted. "There are always people who don't like what we do, but the two of us have had death threats before."
"Do you know if he ever received death threats?" Alison asked.
"No, I didn’t mean it like that." There was a slight tremor in Victoria’s voice. "I don’t know if he did. Maybe he has had threats, but we all deal with that when dealing with dangerous criminals. I know he was seen as controversial among victims’ rights advocates, but no one would do this to him."
"What was controversial?" Alison asked.
"It wasn’t anything controversial, really," Victoria said. "He focused a lot on mental health, and there were cases in the past where he pushed for an insanity verdict so the accused would go to a secure facility to be treated instead of a prison."
"People don’t like that," Alison admitted.
"Especially when the accused is found guilty and is known to be guilty.
There are times when it must happen, but I can't imagine being the family of someone who was killed or assaulted or something equally as harrowing, only to see the perpetrator not face any jail time. "
Victoria stood and folded her arms across her chest. "If anyone knew what was best for the individual, it was Richard. He didn't make any choice lightly. I understand, too, how hard that must be for some people, but he wouldn’t plead for an insanity verdict if it wasn’t warranted."
"Still, that’s worth looking into," Alison said. "If there was a recent verdict that someone didn't like, they might have snapped. That’s where I need to start."
"You don't have to do this just because of me," Victoria said.
"That’s exactly why I have to do it," Alison argued. "I can concentrate on the files you wanted me to look at, and that’s because I’m so invested in the manhunt for Howard Mills.
I can't be invested in the files, but I can be invested in this case.
You know the deceased, and that makes it personal.
I can use that to take my mind off Mills. "
Alison stood up and raised her hand quickly when she saw the worrying frown on Victoria’s brow.
"I know how that sounds, but I can do this," Alison argued. "I wasn’t sure if I could give the case my full attention before, but I know that I can now. I’ll call Detective Moore and let her know that I’ll help. And I can still—" Alison looked down at her laptop.
"No, go," Victoria ordered. "I’ll have someone else take on the files. Richard was a good man. Please find out why he was killed and help them find who killed him.