CHAPTER EIGHTEEN #2
Alison took a quick look through the report she had written years ago, skimming over the corrections and deletions the killer had made.
The staging of the report itself was a new evolution in what he did, as was the report.
It was from early in her career, perhaps her second year, and she knew the man who had been released from prison was now dead.
He had a heart attack three years after being released.
Alison took up the report the killer had written and went through it more carefully.
Again, another evolution.
The report wasn’t purely a rebuttal of the report she had written, but also a psychological assessment of Alison herself.
Alison gritted her teeth as she read what he had written about her, bringing her sister into it again.
The document called into question her professional competence, methodological approach, and psychological fitness to conduct evaluations, especially with the ‘unresolved trauma regarding her sister’s unresolved murder. ’
Is that what you want from me? A reaction? Is that why you made this so personal to me? Do you want to attack the system in general, or are you only out for my blood, because that’s sure how it reads.
Don’t react to it. That’s what the killer wants from me. This is designed to be a part of the game, and the only reason for him to attack me personally is to either delay me in finding him or to attack me. I can't give him the satisfaction of either working.
Alison continued through the report.
The killer talked about the death of Alison’s sister, creating a pathological need to believe in human redemption that rendered her professionally unfit to assess dangerous criminals.
Alison stopped and sat up to take a moment. It was not the attack that bothered her, but the sentiment behind it. She’d heard a sentiment like that before, but not as direct. It had been dressed up as care. Perhaps it was the seed that had grown into whatever this had become.
Alison pushed forward, taking up the report again and reading through it more quickly, sure that she knew where they were headed next.
She had worked with him at different points of her career, and his career had run parallel to hers.
They knew each other professionally, even if they didn't see each other outside of work.
The work became repetitive as the killer spoke about Alison being unfit for any role within the justice system, and calling into question everything she had done in life.
The killer finished by mentioning that Alison was still looking for her sister’s killer.
That many good men and women had investigated the case, but Alison was still determined to do what no one else had managed.
Has it affected my decision-making? No matter what I’m doing on the case I’m investigating, I always have her in the back of my mind. I can't help that, and I will always think about her case for as long as it remains unsolved.
Alison finally sat back, done with the report.
"Anything?" Detective Moore asked.
"My sister," Alison said. "I’ve been looking for my sister’s killer for twenty years, and my connection to her adds emotion to that investigation, and I know that emotion slips out into other investigations, but it’s not a bad thing."
Moore stared at Alison.
"It drives me," Alison continued. "Yes, it might get in the way at times, but I wouldn’t be so driven without what had happened to my sister. That’s why I can't give up on any cases, just like I can't give up with hers."
"I’ve seen your record," Moore said.
"I once had a mentor. He’s still a part of the field. Dr. Keller," Alison said. "When I was new to the field, he warned me not to let emotion get in the way of my work. When he said it, he was trying to guide me, and he genuinely wanted to help me. I could see that."
"You think he’s involved?"
"He thought he didn't leave us any clues, but the way he wrote in the reports is like a signature. He warned me about my emotions back then, and he’s doing it again, but he’s angry about it now.
He’s changed, and his thoughts have become stronger.
He’s the one who’s letting emotions dictate his drive. His name is on theist, isn’t it?"
"Yeah," Moore said, reaching for her jacket.
"He’s the one I need to talk to," Alison said.
***
They couldn’t take any chances. Alison and Moore headed straight for Keller’s house, but they still sent patrol cars to the other houses in case Alison was wrong.
When they arrived at Keller’s home, the lights were out, and there was no car in the driveway. Detective Moore knocked and knocked, but there was no one home. They looked in through any windows they could, and the house looked lived-in but empty.
Alison looked up to the stars as the hour approached midnight. Dr. Keller was out there somewhere, but she had no idea where he was or what he was doing.
His words went around and around in her mind. What would have become of Alison if she had detected from her sister’s case? Would she be in the position she was in now? Would Dr. Keller?
Does emotion claim us all at some point? We can't work in a position like this and not be affected by emotion.
Alison was affected by emotion every day, but she only let a small part of it through. Dr. Keller had let emotions consume him, namely a desire to show the flaws in the field of forensic psychology, and he was using Alison to point out those flaws.
You’re out there somewhere, and you’ve let emotion get the better of you. I sometimes let emotion get the better of me, but it’s that emotion that’s driving me to find you, and I will find you.