Eleven
Wildfire eyes
Pulling me deeper inside
Ashes and embers
Keep me alight
‘Wildfire Eyes’ from Roses
I arrive home after a long day of persuading everyone I possibly can to register for an access code. I called in every favour I could, which is saying quite a lot after being at the same school for the last seven years.
Selena Says: FACT: There is no better place to gather IOUs than in an all-girls’ school. From forgotten homework to forgotten tampons, you can rely on someone owing you something at some point. Better yet, if you have a secret you’re holding on to, is it blackmail or friendly fire?
Kira who messages back, ‘Send this as a long-form article for TCR!’
I ignore her.
Ollie messages me confirming he’s signed up for the access code, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
I’m desperate to FaceTime him, to see his face, to talk to him, but he says he needs some time to get used to his new schedule first. I don’t take it personally: Ollie is a big fan of routine, and not having one is probably stressing him out.
It’s unseasonably warm for September, I definitely didn’t need to wear a jacket today. And after all that hard work corralling people, I need a break. So I head out to the garden with my phone and a book.
Within ten minutes, a basketball lands at my feet. I look up and see Daze waving from across the fence.
‘You really have a habit of getting the ball not in your garden,’ I say, throwing the ball back at him.
‘I’m practising trick shots,’ says Daze. ‘It’s hard work.’
‘Ty mentioned,’ I say.
‘You’ve been talking to Ty?’ he says.
‘Not if I can help it,’ I say. ‘He’s just here a lot.’ I wave my arms at the garden.
‘Well he does live here,’ says Daze.
‘Okay, no need to state the obvious,’ I say with a laugh. ‘Have you started school? How’s reinventing yourself going?’
‘Actually pretty hard. It turns out everyone already knows each other,’ says Daze, looking down at the ground.
I feel sorry for the kid. It’s true, most people go from the same primary schools to secondary.
‘But you’re really easy to talk to,’ I say, throwing the ball to him. ‘You’ve got to put yourself out there.’
‘Yeah, but how?’ says Daze, throwing the ball back.
I think about it, bouncing the ball a couple of times. I have never bounced a basketball before, but the rhythm is soothing.
‘I think the best way of making friends is by finding some common ground. My two closest friends, we bonded because we all like Rose Conrad. And then with my friends from school, we bonded because we were in the same classes. And girls in cross-country, we spend our time together running long distances in the cold. Which, I admit, is a bit masochistic.’ I throw the ball back to him.
‘Basketball doesn’t even seem to be a thing here. There’s no school basketball team or anything.’
‘Football is. I bet if you go up to some guys at school and say you’re American and want to learn the rules of football, they’ll explain it to you. And then, bam, new friends.’
‘But what if I’m not interested in football?’
I walk up to the fence, so we’re closer together. I’m still a head taller than Daze, but I sense that in a few years he’ll be as tall as Ty.
‘Daze, sometimes you have to try new things to make friends. Also you don’t know, you might be interested in football. Keep an open mind.’
‘Do you have a lot of friends?’ asks Daze.
I think about it. ‘I have two very close friends, but I’m friendly with a lot of people at school. I’ve learnt that if you are a good person and don’t cause any fights, people will like you. And I’m sure people will like you, Daze.’
‘Fine. Seeing as you sound like a pro on this, I’ll listen to you,’ says Daze.
‘I don’t think you can be a pro at making friends.’ I laugh.
‘It must be nice, being popular,’ says Ty, walking up to us. I remember he said he hadn’t had many friends in San Francisco.
‘I wouldn’t call myself popular,’ I mumble. For some reason it sounds like an attack, coming from him. Like I’m a mean girl or something. I snap myself out of it; there’s no need for this guy to get under my skin. ‘How are you doing in the making-friends department?’
‘Luckily I am friends with everyone in my class,’ he says.
I look at him, surprised.
‘Ty is homeschooled,’ says Daze. ‘The only person in his class is Mom.’
‘Oh,’ is all I say. I don’t know anyone who is homeschooled. Maybe because nearly everyone I know is from school . . .
Daze rolls his eyes. ‘Ty is being so dramatic. He makes out that because he wasn’t homecoming king he is bad at making friends.’
Ty rolls his eyes in exactly the same way. ‘I’m bad at making friends because I tell people my thoughts too much.’
‘That is not true,’ says Daze.
‘No? How so?’ asks Ty.
‘You don’t tell Dad how you really feel about anything.’
Ouch. I can tell a killer blow when I see one. Ty’s mouth tightens, his gaze gets more intense.
Daze shakes his head. ‘Sometimes the truth hurts.’ He bounces the ball and starts heading for the house. ‘Thanks for the advice, Selena. I’ll tell you how it goes.’
I look at Ty. ‘Is he right, about your dad?’
I thought he was going to get defensive, but Ty shrugs. ‘Yeah, he’s right.’ He must see my shocked face, because he gives a small smile and says, ‘What? I’m many things, but I’m not a liar. Maybe that’s why people don’t always gravitate to me.’
‘You don’t have to be a liar to make friends,’ I say. ‘You have to care about what people think.’
‘Ah, but that’s the other problem. I don’t want to care about what other people think of me.’
‘Except your dad.’ It’s a statement, not a question.
He looks away. ‘I don’t want to talk about him.’
I leave it. If anyone knows wanting to be left alone about certain topics, it’s me right now.
‘Did you register for Rose Conrad?’ I say instead.
‘Yeah, did you?’
‘Nope, I let the day slide after spending so much time talking to you about it yesterday.’
‘Ah there’s the famous British sarcasm.’
‘Are you going to tell me why you like Rose Conrad yet?’
He shakes his head. ‘It’s not a big deal. My ex was really into her. She discovered her when Roses came out. I was having a tough time and she played me the album, and since then . . . Well, Rose Conrad has spoken to me, y’know.’
‘What happened to your ex?’
Ty gives a small smile. ‘We discovered we were better off as friends. That and she was clearly in love with her lab partner.’
I make a face.
‘I didn’t take it personally, she was good to me. But I don’t know. She wasn’t the one, you know? When Rose Conrad sings about love, I feel it’s got to feel bigger than anything I’ve ever felt before.’
‘So you lost a girlfriend and gained Rose Conrad?’
‘Something like that.’
Looking at Ty’s pretty face and listening to his clever words, right now it’s hard to imagine anyone leaving him. But then again he does have a very prickly personality.
‘Why are you homeschooled?’
‘Because I’m in the last year studying for my High School Diploma, so I can’t take whatever levels you have here.’
‘What do you study in the diploma?’
‘A bit of everything: Math, English, Politics. All AP.’
‘What’s AP?’
‘Like advanced classes, they get you more credits for college.’
‘And your mum teaches you?’
‘Oh no, I have an online school which I’m finishing up with. Not as good as a real school, but sometimes Mom comes and keeps me company if she thinks I’ve not seen a real person in a while. She’s working weird hours because she’s kept her job back home, so is free most mornings.’
‘Do you like it?’
‘Do I like not being in a real classroom, with my real friends, in a time zone eight hours ahead?’
I feel myself getting hot. ‘You’re really taking to that famous British sarcasm.’
‘It helps when people ask me stupid questions,’ he says serenely.
Harsh. One minute, we are having a nice chat, the next he goes and lashes out again.
‘Must be such a tough life getting to see the world,’ I say in a mocking voice that comes out of nowhere.
Ty’s face is suddenly enraged. ‘Yes, it must be so hard getting to stay where you live, not getting ripped away from your friends and family.’
‘In case you didn’t remember, I have been ripped away from my best friend. He used to live in the house you are now living in.’
‘Good for him. Sounds like he got out and away from a very annoying neighbour,’ he says, a smile playing on his face.
I’ve had enough of this guy now. ‘Isn’t it exhausting, being such a knob?’
‘Knob?’ he says. ‘How British of you.’
What.
A.
Dick.
I step forwards, getting closer to the fence.
‘How is Daze so nice?’ I say. ‘Are you sure you’re brothers?’
‘Coming from an only child,’ he says. He’s also come closer to the fence. It’s the first time I’ve seen him so up close in a while. His skin is this amazing tan colour, and way too clear for a teenage boy. Honestly, it infuriates me how attractive he is.
‘How do you know that?’ I say. ‘Been watching us?’ And by us, I mean me.
‘I’m not the only person trying to get to know thy enemy.’
‘I didn’t realise we were enemies,’ I say softly. I look at his lips, and force myself away. We are enemies. He said so.
‘Well our run-ins haven’t been exactly . . . friendly. And you’ve also been watching my moves.’
He saw me watching him the other day? ‘I didn’t realise it was a military tactic to look out of a window.’
Somehow we’re now so close that I’m tilting my head to look up at him. The only thing between us is the garden wire fence.
‘Why, you’re so damn angry,’ he muses. For a second, I think Ty is about to touch me. Grab my face in his hands. And for a second, I want him to.
No, I think, shaking myself out of it. Absolutely not.
‘I’m angry? You’re the one being so . . . vitriolic,’ I spit out, clutching for words.
‘Big word,’ he says, raising an eyebrow. ‘Someone’s read a dictionary.’
Everything about this boy annoys me. His condescension. His jibes. The fact he’s the person living next door to me, not Ollie.
‘I’m doing English A level. I like to write,’ I say, stepping backwards, wincing at the sticky feeling.
‘A writer.’ He laughs. ‘So what do you write?’
I don’t want to tell him about Selena Says. He would use it against me. I’m pissed he laughed at the thought of me writing.
‘This and that. I’m not just some stupid, popular girl.’
‘No,’ he murmurs. His eyes are dark in this light. I’ve noticed sometimes they look green, sometimes brown. ‘I suppose you’re not.’ He laughs again. ‘Okay, Writer, I’d like to see what you’ve got.’
And he turns and heads back into his house.
I’ve really got to stop him having the last word.