Chapter 20
“Well, that went about as well as we could have hoped,” Karthik said.
Meghna snorted as she pulled out of her parents’ driveway. Everyone had accepted the end of their engagement rather quickly, though Meghna still hadn’t told her parents that the engagement had never been real to begin with. She wanted to tell them the truth. She wanted to be more honest with them about a lot of things. But she’d decided she would discuss it with them later. Privately.
Besides, once her mother had confirmed that Meghna and Karthik were happy and were still in a relationship and that nothing seriously bad had caused them to take a step back, she’d dropped it and reissued her challenge to Karthik’s mom. In record time, she’d wrangled up a pack of cards and started dealing. And before they knew it, Meghna and Karthik had been roped into their mothers’ high-stakes game of twenty-eight.
“This is not how you deal,” Meghna’s mother had said petulantly, after losing a hand. “There are rules for this. Everyone knows that you have to deal—”
“One at time,” Karthik had said.
“All at once,” Meghna had said at the same time.
They’d turned and looked at each other with surprise.
“No, but you have to deal them all at once,” Meghna had said. “Otherwise no one gets dealt a good hand.”
“Exactly,” Karthik had said. “Some people end up with hands that are too good. They need to be distributed evenly so it’s fair.”
“But where’s the fun in dealing them fairly? You never get half-courts if you deal like that.”
Karthik had been about to launch into his next point when they’d been interrupted by the sound of all three parents laughing. They’d finally agreed on a compromise, alternating the dealing style each round, but the fights between the two of them had only gotten more and more ridiculous until the mothers had practically shooed them out the door. They’d insisted they had a real score to settle, and they didn’t want Meghna and Karthik interfering.
“How long do you think they’re going to keep playing?” Meghna asked, grinning over at Karthik in the passenger seat.
“No idea. But I’m glad we got out of there. I don’t want to see what happens when your mom inevitably loses.”
Meghna raised an eyebrow. “Are you seriously trash-talking on your mom’s behalf?”
Karthik laughed. “I didn’t mean to. I was just telling the truth. Amma never loses.”
“Well, we’ll just have to see about that.” Meghna slowed down before coming to a complete stop at a red light. She almost turned right, but realized it was pretty presumptuous of her to head straight back to her apartment. She and Karthik had a lot to talk about. A lot to figure out. “Do you want to go get dinner?” she asked.
Karthik shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “Uh, if you want to. Sure. We can.”
She peeked at him from the corner of her eye. He was looking straight ahead. Spine straight. Jaw tense. His hand clenched into a fist. Almost as if … as if he was restraining himself.
A lick of fire coursed through Meghna’s body.
“Or we could go back to my—”
“Your place. Yes. Let’s do that.”
She almost laughed at his eagerness, but managed to rein it in. Still, she couldn’t help but tease him.
“Or … I could just pull over?”
Two seconds of silence. Then a loud exhale.
“Yes,” Karthik said, his voice gravelly and rough. “Please.”
Meghna shivered. She’d meant it as a joke, but she was dead serious about it now. If she didn’t get her hands on him soon, she might combust.
She turned onto a quiet street and had barely put the car in park when she felt Karthik’s hands on her body, lifting and pulling her over to the passenger seat.
He moved all at once, a blur of motion, capturing her lips with his own. He moaned into her mouth and the sound set her ablaze. God, she’d missed this. The feel of his body against hers. The softness of his lips. The coarse texture of his beard.
The logical side of her mind knew they’d been kissing just a little while ago, but those kisses had been like cotton candy: sweetness that was so fragile, so delicate, that it melted on the tongue. Wonderful. Magical. Tender. Fleeting.
But this kiss? This kiss was a bite of green chili. Scorching heat. The kind that built and built and built, numbing her tongue, her mind, her senses. But she didn’t care. She wanted more. She bit down on his lower lip, and he let out a sound that was half-groan, half-growl. She bit down again, gentler this time, then soothed the sting away with her tongue. Quick as lightning, he broke away, moving his mouth along her jawline to her ear, nipping her lobe lightly.
She gasped.
“You like that?” he asked, catching her lobe between his teeth again.
“Yes,” she breathed, her hand coming up to grip his shirt collar. She didn’t want him to move. She wanted to keep him there. Right there. For as long as possible.
“Good,” he said. He planted a soft kiss behind her ear, then trailed more down the line of her neck. “I like it too.”
His hands came around her waist, and he gently pushed her toward his knees. He held her there for a few seconds, his breaths loud and harsh. Then he leaned his forehead against hers, almost involuntarily. As if he needed some space to calm himself down, but couldn’t help but touch her.
His hands traveled up and down the sides of her body. “I’ve been thinking about this since the card game. It was torture. Back there. In here. I needed to touch you.”
“Me too,” she said. “I needed to touch you. I need to touch you.”
She scooted forward slightly, needing to be closer. To feel him. To press against him. But Karthik’s hands tightened around her waist, so she stopped, going still.
“I don’t want to—” He broke off with a laugh. “That’s not true. I want to. So badly. But not like this. Not here. You deserve … you deserve better than this. You deserve more. So much more.”
She wanted to disagree, to say that she was more than happy to get it on in the car, but his voice held a note of something else. Something small and sad and resigned.
He let out a sound of frustration. “You deserve someone who would plan a perfect night. Who’d buy you flowers and arrange some elaborate surprise and sweep you off your feet. Not someone who just … just mauls you in a car.”
Meghna snorted, and Karthik pulled back, looking at her in disbelief.
“Are you laughing?”
“No. Well … kind of? Karthik, it was my idea to pull over. And if there was any ‘mauling’ here, it was completely mutual.”
She expected him to smile at that, or to at least acknowledge her words, but he just looked away, avoiding her gaze. He took a deep breath, but otherwise remained silent.
“Hey,” she said softly. “What’s going on?” She placed her hand on his jaw and turned his face back to hers, shocked to see genuine panic in his eyes.
He swallowed. “I … I don’t want to turn into my father. I remember him always being the way he was, but my mother said he didn’t start that way. I want to think that I can choose to be different. That I can choose to be better. But a part of me … a part of me thinks I can’t stop from becoming more like him. I don’t want you to get hurt. I don’t want you … anyone … to go through what my mother did. You deserve better than that. You deserve better than me.”
Meghna let out a breath, something finally clicking. As if the last puzzle piece had slid into place. She’d been staring at these crooked, jagged, disconnected pieces for so long. Holding them in her hands. Moving them around, lining them up. Trying to make them fit. Trying to make sense of them. But now she could see the full picture. She could finally see him.
“There’s no guarantee you won’t hurt me,” she said. “Or that I won’t hurt you. We’re not perfect. We’re going to hurt each other’s feelings. And when we do, we’ll apologize. And do our best to not do it again. But I’m not going to hurt you the way your dad hurt you. And you won’t hurt me that way, either. You’re not your father.”
Karthik started to speak, but Meghna placed her fingers over his lips.
“I know you don’t believe that. And I don’t blame you. After everything you’ve seen. And experienced. I’m not going to try to convince you otherwise, but let’s just take it a day at a time. You don’t need to figure all of it out right now. I don’t have it all figured out right now. But let’s just try. Try to put in the work. With me.”
Karthik nodded, his face solemn but tender. He leaned forward and kissed her, brushing his lips lightly against her own. Meghna closed her eyes. This kiss felt like a promise. An intention. A commitment.
Now all they needed was time.
He pulled back, and they looked at each other for several seconds.
“Are you ready to go home?” he asked, his voice cutting through the silence.
She nodded, and Karthik’s hands tightened around her waist. Almost as if he wanted to keep her there. As if he didn’t want to let her go. But after a moment, he lifted her, helping her scramble back into the driver’s seat.
Meghna smiled, then turned the car back on and started driving the two of them home.
As Karthik followed Meghna into her apartment, his mind started playing a tune. He concentrated, but no words popped into his head. Just the same tune. Over and over.
It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. And he recognized the tune as one he’d heard before. It had played in his head the first time he’d visited Meghna’s apartment. It was a soft melody. Subtle and sweet. And it made him feel something. The way a well-scored scene in a movie brought up all the right emotions. He just couldn’t put his finger on what that emotion was. He felt lighter, maybe?
Meghna dropped her purse on the couch, then went into the kitchen. The electric kettle clicked loudly.
“I’m making tea,” she called out. “Want any?”
He smiled, unbuttoning his shirt cuffs and rolling the sleeves up slightly. They’d had endless cups of chai at her parents’ house when they’d all been playing cards, but obviously that hadn’t been enough for Meghna. He tucked that piece of information away, adding to his ever-growing file on Meghna’s likes and dislikes, and took a seat on the couch.
“No, I’m fine,” he replied. He put his feet up on the ottoman and leaned back. He didn’t realize he’d closed his eyes until cool fingers brushed his hair off his forehead.
Meghna stood in front of him, a curious expression on her face and a mug of tea in one hand.
“Hey,” she said softly, her fingers still playing in his hair. “You okay?”
He closed his eyes again, enjoying her soothing touch. He felt fine. Ecstatic, really. But the last few hours had been an emotional whirlwind, and he was still taking it all in. He told her as much and she nodded, sitting down next to him.
“I feel the same way.” She swung her feet up onto the couch, tucking them beneath her. “It’s a little overwhelming. There’s so much to talk about. So much to square away. Like, what happens next? I still live in Dallas and your job is—”
“I started job searching in Dallas,” Karthik blurted out. “I made a list of jobs I might apply to. I haven’t looked at it in a while, but some of them looked pretty interesting, so …”
Meghna’s eyes went wide. “But what about your promotion? Wasn’t your interview supposed to be today? What … what happened?”
He shrugged, adopting a casual tone. “I got demoted.”
“What?” Meghna’s jaw dropped.
Karthik grinned. “I asked for it. I told the panel that I wanted a chance to work on the biomedical team more than I wanted a promotion. I’m not starting from scratch or anything, but it’s definitely a step down. But it means I’ll get to work on cutting-edge technology. Things that really help people. You know, one of the teams is working on a robotics project? It’s designed to assist during surgery, cutting down on errors and bad outcomes. It seems amazing and I …” He shook his head, a bit bemused. “Are you laughing?”
Meghna raised a hand over her mouth, but she couldn’t quite cover her wide smile. “No, no, I’m not. It’s just …” She laughed again. “The job sounds incredible. And I’m so happy for you. But … you’re really going to be working on a robot?”
“Yes,” he said, slightly confused. “I mean, I’d phrase it more like I’ll be working on robotic technology. Only in the medical context, though with some modifications, I’m sure it would have applications for …”
Another laugh flew out of her mouth. “I’m sorry, it’s just, when I first met you, I used to think you were a bit … well, robotic. And now you’re actually going to be working on robots and it’s all so … surreal. But it’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.”
Karthik laughed. “You thought I was a robot?”
“Only because I didn’t know you! But now I do, and … you have to stay in New York. Look at you! You’re actually glowing talking about work. I’ve never seen you this way.”
Karthik smiled. “There are jobs like this in Dallas too. I’m sure I could find one. I actually started looking for jobs closer to you a while ago. Before Seth’s wedding. Because somehow, even then, I knew that I wanted to be wherever you are. Maybe that’s Dallas. Maybe that’s someplace else. But wherever you go, I want to go too. So, what do you want to do? I know your job is here. And your parents and Ankita and—”
Meghna shook her head, watching him with a look that made his heart thud a little faster. “I’m applying to programs in New York. I’m applying other places too, but I searched for options in New York first.” She smiled tentatively. “I think I knew then too. Somehow. Before I even knew I knew.” She laughed, loud and warm and utterly beautiful. “Does that even make sense?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said, moving toward her, almost without meaning to. He was drawn in. Her presence was magnetic. “I think I fell for you at the beginning. When I first proposed the entire … Well, when I first proposed. There were other ways to get out of that promise to my mother, but I didn’t even try to think about any of them. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted an excuse to be around you. I didn’t really know that was what I was doing then, but—”
Meghna inched closer, rising on her knees so that they were face-to-face.
“I didn’t know for sure until the wedding,” she said. “But I think it started for me that night in the parking lot. When you surprised me. Standing there with flowers—”
Karthik let out a self-deprecating laugh, thinking about what a mess he’d been that night. “I’m glad I at least brought some flowers,” he said, half-jokingly.
But Meghna didn’t laugh. She looked as serious as he’d ever seen her.
“I don’t care about the flowers. That’s not what I … That night. It meant everything to me. For the first time, you let me see you. Really see you. I couldn’t make sense of you before that. I didn’t understand … but then you invited me in. And what I saw, what I learned about you …” Meghna lifted her hands, reaching out to hold his face. “I don’t know exactly when or how it happened, but I started falling for you, Karthik. And I never stopped.”
Karthik felt weightless. Like he might float away if it weren’t for Meghna’s hands on his face. Holding him steady. Anchoring him to the earth.
He placed his hands on top of hers, holding them in place for a moment. Then he lifted one of her hands off his cheek and turned it over, kissing the center of her palm.
Meghna inhaled sharply. Karthik smiled, holding Meghna’s gaze as he pressed a kiss to the inside of her wrist.
Something bright and hot flashed in her eyes, and then she moved. He went tumbling, her momentum knocking him flat on his back. He barely had time to recover before her mouth came to his, and then he was lost. In the feel of her body pressed against his. In the softness of her skin. He wanted to feel it everywhere. Needed to feel it everywhere. Needed to—
Meghna rocked against him, and all rational thought left his mind.
“Bedroom. Now.” It wasn’t the most eloquent seduction, but he wasn’t able to manage much more at the moment. All he knew was that he wanted her. More than he’d ever wanted anything.
Meghna pressed her lips to his, hard and fast, but somehow still sweet. And then she climbed off of him. He followed her toward the bedroom, stopping at various times on the short journey there to kiss her, to slide his hands up and down her curves, to push her up against a wall and sweep his tongue against hers.
Meghna lifted her dress over her head, and for a moment Karthik was only able to stare. His mind went blank as he took her in.
“You’re beautiful,” he said hoarsely.
“So are you,” she said, her hand tracing his jaw carefully, as if she held something precious. Something treasured and fragile. Then her hand trailed down his neck, his chest, his stomach, stopping every now and then to undo the buttons of his shirt.
He swallowed as he let his shirt fall to the floor. Then Meghna’s fingers curled around one of the loops of his jeans, and she tugged him gently, leading him the last few steps to the bed.
The rest of their clothes came off, fluttering to the floor like pieces of confetti. Meghna’s lips curved at the thought. This was a celebration, after all.
And then Karthik’s lips were on hers and they were on the bed, and any trace of humor left her mind. Karthik kissed his way down her body almost reverently. Worshipfully. And she had never felt more cherished.
He lingered between her legs, then kissed the very center of her. Meghna gasped. She couldn’t see a thing in the darkness of her bedroom, but that only heightened the sensation. Every stroke. Every sweeping movement of his tongue. Again and again and again. She could barely stand it. Could barely think straight. She was falling off the edge and she didn’t want to fall like this.
She wanted to fall with him.
She reached down, pulling at him, and he finally got the message. He crawled back up her body, settling on top of her. She almost came apart just from the feel of him.
“I need you,” she whispered, bringing his mouth to hers.
“I need you too,” he said, his voice strained and raw. He moved, brushing against the most sensitive part of her, and every nerve in her body turned to fire.
“Now,” she said, arching against him. “I need you now.” She grabbed a foil packet from her nightstand, then reached down, wrapping her hand around him. She brought him right where she wanted and stroked him once, willing him to press forward. Willing him to move.
“Wait,” he said, his voice harsh, his breathing loud and uneven. “Wait.”
Meghna immediately removed her hand.
“What’s the matter? Were we … were we moving too fast? We can slow down. We can—”
“No,” he said, even as she felt his weight lift off her body. She mourned the loss of it, then blinked as the room suddenly filled with light. Her eyes adjusted to the brightness. And Karthik came back to bed, his eyes ablaze.
“I just wanted to see you.” He settled back over her and placed his hand on her cheek, moving it up to brush her hair behind her ear. “There. That’s better.” He stroked his thumb along her bottom lip and smiled.
Her heart squeezed.
And then he was exactly where she wanted, and finally … he moved. Wonder and awe played across his face, and then she wasn’t able to pay attention any longer. Her brain shut off and her eyes slid shut. He felt so good. So right. She matched his movements, returning them in full, their bodies playing the same song in perfect harmony.
“I love you,” he said. And then his mouth was on hers, his tongue entering and retreating in time with him. Meghna moaned, the sound getting lost in their kiss. He pulled her closer against him. Meghna wouldn’t have thought it possible, but here they were. Skin to skin. Somehow even closer than before.
“I love you,” he said again. Softly, then loudly, as they both came apart.
Meghna let the waves of pleasure wash over her, holding on to them for as long as she could, only opening her eyes when the intensity faded. Karthik’s body was slack, his face cradled in the curve of her neck, his breaths harsh and uneven against her skin.
He placed a kiss at the spot where her neck met her shoulder, then rolled away, turning so they both lay on their sides, face-to-face. Meghna smiled drowsily. She felt comfortable. Safe. Elated. But she already missed his touch. She inched closer, pushing slightly so Karthik rolled onto his back, allowing her to put her head on his chest.
Karthik’s arm immediately came around her, his hand sliding into her hair. She closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his fingers running against her scalp, sifting and playing with her curls.
“I knew I’d enjoy messing up your hair,” he said, his voice deep and rough, with a note of humor.
Meghna laughed. “You can mess it up like that anytime you want.”
She snuggled closer until she was half-sprawled on top of his body. The steady sound of his heartbeat was like a lullaby. She was almost asleep when she froze, hearing an odd noise. It was … it was coming from Karthik.
She lifted her head off his chest and frowned, watching him carefully.
“Are you humming?” she asked, a note of surprise in her voice.
“What?” Karthik shook his head, but he wore a slightly sheepish expression. “No. I’m not.”
“Yes. Yes, you are,” Meghna said with a laugh. “It was really soft, but I could feel your chest vibrating. What were you humming?”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, do it again.”
Karthik sighed, but hummed the same tune as before.
Meghna listened intently, then realization dawned. “I didn’t realize you liked that song that much.”
Karthik huffed out a sound of frustration. “I don’t even know what song it is. But it’s been stuck in my head ever since we came back to your place. It happened the first time I came here too.”
“The first time you came to my house?”
“Yeah.”
A small smile played on Meghna’s lips as she reached across his body for her phone. “It’s a good song. Here, I’ll play it for you.” She scrolled through her music app, then pressed play. “It’s called ‘On the Street Where You Live.’ It’s from My Fair Lady.”
Karthik smiled, his eyes growing warm and tender. “I think I remember it now,” he said softly. He wrapped his arms around her, and they lay back down. Her head returned to his chest, and they listened silently as the song continued.
Meghna could picture the scene from the musical in her head. The man in the song was absolutely besotted, strolling down the street where his love lived, singing about how being on that street made him feel like he was floating. How he didn’t care if people thought him strange, but there was nowhere he’d rather be than on that street. Because she lived there.
The song ended, and Karthik pressed a kiss on the top of her head.
“That’s how I feel,” he said. “Every time I’m here.”
“I didn’t know you liked my apartment that much,” she joked.
He laughed, and she enjoyed the way it sounded. With her head pressed to his chest, she could feel his laugh move through his entire body. Could feel the joy radiating from within him.
“I like your apartment just fine. But that’s how you make me feel. I don’t care where I am. As long as you’re with me.”
“Me too,” she said. And she meant it. Whether they ended up in Dallas or New York or somewhere else entirely, it didn’t matter. Somehow, they’d make it work.
She closed her eyes, sleep approaching faster and faster.
“Hey.”
“Hmm,” she responded, her voice sounding as drowsy as she felt.
“We never really set any terms, did we? For the fake engagement, I mean.”
She thought it over for a second. “Well, we said we couldn’t date other people.”
“Right. We did say that.” He ran his hand down her back and pulled her closer against his body. “Well, that’s a pretty good term. We should keep that one.”
She laughed. “I think so too.”
“Okay,” he said. “Anything else we should keep? Or start?”
She lifted her head and kissed him.
“How about we talk about it tomorrow? Or the next day. Or the next.” She smiled as she lay back down. “We’ve got all the time in the world.”
He hummed his agreement, and Meghna drifted off to sleep, dreaming about a future filled with punny T-shirts and musicals and laughter and love. And Karthik, standing by her side, as they experienced it all. Together.