Chapter 31
I take Roman’s hand as he helps me onto Pippin and settle behind him, wincing a touch when I sit as the ache of what he just did to me behind the falls blooms between my legs.
With one hand holding both of mine to his front, he steers Pippin toward the trail, his clothes drenched, which soaks the front of mine. I’d brought a spare pair of clothes with me since I knew I’d be swimming, but in my defense, I didn’t expect him to jump in fully clothed. Hindsight and all that.
But he seems lighter, less tense, which had been my goal.
We follow the trail back to the ranch, the light of day slipping behind the mountains. We’ve spent all day out here, lost in the woods together, and now the ranch is settling for the night, with the horses being put in their stables and workers heading for the mess hall for food.
“There’s a band playing at the bar tonight,” I tell Roman. “Come with me?”
“You’re working?” He steers Pippin toward her barn and brings her to a stop, climbing off before he reaches for me and helps me down.
“No. Like a date.”
His face splits into a grin. “You asking me out on a date, sweetheart?”
My cheeks heat. “Maybe.”
He curls a finger under my chin. “I’d love to. Go get cleaned up. I’ll be in once I’ve got Pippin away.”
“Okay,” He kisses me chastely and then works on his horse as I head back to the house, my knees still feeling a little like jelly. He knows how to play my body just right to leave me feeling it for days.
Once back at the house, I hop in the shower, and by the time I’m out, Roman’s back, leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed. There’s a look in his eye that has my heart thumping in response.
“You okay?” I ask.
His head tilts, eyes rolling down me, the perusal turning hot with every inch he looks over. With a little shake of his head, he lifts his hand to scrub it down his face, the bump in his throat bobbing with a swallow. “I think I’m in love with you.”
My brows hit my hairline, mouth opening and closing a few times as a weighted silence stretches between us.
“No, wait.” He shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t think. I know. I am in love with you.”
“I — Roman…”
“You don’t have to say it,” He rushes out, “I’m not expecting you to say it.”
I don’t know what to say or how to react, so I just stand there remembering what he had said when he thought I was asleep.
“Falling in love with you is easy. You make it impossible not to, and everything I have ever been told about love makes sense. There’s no choice, no other option, it just is, and you’re helpless to stop it.
I used to think I feared falling in love…
but I think the scariest part is you not loving me back. ”
“Don’t say anything.” His strong legs eat up the space between us, rough hands lifting to cup my face, the touch delicate and warm. “I just needed you to know.”
He lowers his head, pressing his mouth to mine, a gentle kiss that passes entirely too quickly.
I chase after it when he pulls away but he’s already moving by me, reaching into the shower to switch it back on.
I remain shocked still, listening to the rustle of his clothes as they hit the floor before he steps beneath the spray, tipping his head back and closing his eyes.
How can he be so sure?
We’ve barely even started; we’re only weeks into this, how does he know?
I’ve never been in love. Is it that light kind of feeling you get when you’re with them?
Is it the safety you feel when they have their arms around you and the way they make you forget all the hurt you’ve felt?
Because Roman does that for me, he makes me feel all of that and more.
He makes me excited to wake up and to come home.
He makes me want to stop time just to last in a moment for a little bit longer.
Is that love?
My heart beats faster whenever he is near, and the idea of not being near him, not seeing him is a physical pain I feel in my chest, a fist around the organ keeping me alive. I don’t know when it happened, when things changed.
I don’t want to give him words I don’t truly understand, not until I’m sure, but I also don’t want him to believe I don’t want him as desperately as he wants me.
He has his back to me, washing away the day, so I slip out of the bathroom and into my bedroom, picking out a pair of denim cutoffs with my boots and a cropped tee, finishing it all off with the hat I’ve had since high school.
I don’t wear it often, but it’s fitting for the theme of the music tonight, and I think Roman will like it.
As I get ready, I listen to him doing the same across the hall.
We’ve been sleeping together every night, but my things are still in here, and maybe it’s good to have this small amount of space between us.
He may have just given those words in the heat of the moment, we’ve been together a lot, and then today at the falls…
His knuckles tap against the door. “I’ll meet you downstairs.” He calls through, “You want a drink?”
“Sours?” I call back.
He chuckles, “I’ll have it ready.”
He steps grow quieter as he moves through the house and I finish getting ready for our date, curling my hair with the curling iron and then apply a little bit of makeup, mascara to darken my lashes, some glitter for my cheeks and then a bright red lip that I love wearing but go nowhere to warrant wearing it.
Securing my hat on my head, I leave the room, heading down to where Roman is playing the same music he was listening to before.
Soft and soothing, the melody hits right where it’s meant to, in the center of your chest.
He stands with a whiskey in hand, staring out the window at the fiery sky, the clouds orange and red wisps as the sun sets the mountains ablaze, making everything around it almost dusty looking.
He’s in a tight pair of Levi’s, a red and black flannel shirt tucked in with his boots, while his hat sits resting on the back of the couch.
“Hey,” I call to him.
He looks over his shoulder in a passing glance but snaps it back, eyes widening as he takes in my outfit. He rolls his lips before swiping his hand across his mouth.
“Fuck,” He growls, that deep, gravelly tone skating over my skin.
“What?” I look down at myself with a frown as he heads toward me.
“I thought I liked the dress,” His fingers hook into the bottoms of my cutoffs, “But these?”
I feel my face lift into a beaming smile. “You like them?”
“I want to rip them off you.” He rasps, “Leave you in just those boots.”
“You’re insatiable,” I tease, stepping out of reach before I let him do just that.
“You make me a needy man, sweetheart.” He shrugs and reaches for the sours sitting on the tray, condensation rolling down the sides of the glass. I take a sip and groan, still slightly envious he makes better sours than me.
“I’ve booked us a cab,” He tells me as I settle on the arm of the couch, enjoying my drink.
Nodding, I turn my attention to Pumpkin as she hops onto the seat behind me, butting her head against my back for attention.
She’s doing so much better now, growing bigger every day, and her weight is now healthy.
She’ll have freedom to roam the ranch as soon as she’s a little older, but she seems happy to have the house to herself.
Roman pays the cab driver and then offers me his hand to help me out of the back before he settles it at the base of my spine and guides me through the doors of my bar.
It’s already rowdy and loud, the band we hired getting ready to start their set.
They come back every year, and they always draw a big crowd, from the locals to the tourists visiting.
Ashley is at the bar with her husband, his arm around her as she says something to him that has him throwing back his head and laughing.
We join them and order a couple of drinks, Roman staying close to my back, which is where we stay for at least an hour.
“Behind the falls!?” Ashley whisper-hisses, flicking her eyes to the guys who seem to have hit it off.
“Shh,” I laugh, “Yes.”
“Like naked!?”
“Well, how else would we have been?”
“In the woods!? What if a bear found you!? Imagine being found like that.”
“Oh my god,” I shake my head.
“Well, it’s possible, but you know what? Get it, girl. You’re going to have to show me how he used a bikini top to tie you up. Never knew you were kinky like that.”
The band is playing a Luke Combs cover, which has the entire bar singing. It’s loud enough that it covers Ashley’s voice, keeping our conversation private. Thank God. I don’t need the entire town to know about my sex life.
“It was… enlightening.” I agree.
“So how are you two going? Like, is it working?”
I swallow. “We’re good.”
Her eyes narrow. “But?”
“No buts!” I promise.
“There’s a but, I can feel it.”
“He told me he loved me,” I whisper, quiet enough he doesn’t hear me, but Ashley doesn’t take the cue to be quiet back.
“What!?” She practically shrieks and I dart forward, slapping a hand around her mouth.
“Good God, woman,” I hiss, meeting her dark eyes. I can feel her mouth moving behind my palm. “You gonna keep your voice down?”
She licks my hand in response.
“Ew!” I pull away, wiping her saliva onto my shorts.
“Oh please,” She rolls her eyes, “We kissed senior year, tongues and all, and you were there when my kids were born. You can handle my spit.”
I give her a blank stare.
“You need to back up,” She continues, quieter now at least. “He told you he loved you?”
I nod, glancing at Roman, who tips his beer bottle to his smiling lips.
“When?”
“Just before we came out,” I swallow, feeling my stomach flip as I trace that smile with my eyes, completely obsessed with it. I can’t put my finger on what it is about it that has my body responding the way it does, but it’s a high I never want to stop chasing.
“What did you say?” She pries.
“Nothing,” I wince. “I didn’t know what to say.”
“Niamh,” She sighs, “Well how do you feel?”
“How am I supposed to know?” I ask her, “I’ve never done this before. I’ve had all of two boyfriends that lasted three months in total, and a handful of hookups that I ran from the moment they wanted more.”
“How does he make you feel?” She puts her head in her hand as she places her elbow on the bar to listen.
“Everything,” I answer.
Her face softens. “You love him back.”
“Maybe? I don’t know.”
She chuckles, “Explain it, babe.”
“I can’t. It’s right here,” I point to my chest, “But it’s light and heavy all the same.”
“Oh, my babe,” She sighs dreamily, “You’re in love.”
“Shh, don’t say it so loud.”
Her laugh is light. “Be proud of it, Niamh, some of us don’t get to experience it at all.”
“You got it,” I point out.
“And I am proud of it. You know what I didn’t get though?” She picks up her wine and takes a sip. “I didn’t get railed behind a waterfall or tied up with a bikini top.”
My face flames. “Ashley.”
“Who’s being tied up?” Dylan asks, making my face even hotter.
“You talking about me, baby?” Roman presses up behind me, his breath whispering against the shell of my ear. A shiver runs through me, body lighting up as his hand presses to my stomach and he pulls us together for an even tighter fit. “You wanna do it again?”
The back of my head thumps against his shoulder as I melt into him. “I’m not opposed.”
He chuckles lightly. “Noted.”
He passes me his beer, letting me take a sip as the band takes a break, the bar falling into a weird place of silence. The sound system kicks in to fill the void, covering them for the fifteen-minute break before they finish their set for the night.
I turn to Roman, who immediately takes my hand and presses his lips to the ring on my finger. “Luckiest man in this whole place.”
If I could melt into a puddle, I would.
“Blushes pretty too,” He grins.
“Stop,” I fucking giggle at his words, shaking my head at how ridiculous that is.
We remain at the bar, an ease between us that I’ve never felt with anyone.
There’s something incredibly freeing about that, about how we are able to just exist in this little bubble we have created for ourselves.
Nothing can get in, no one can take away the feeling that blooms in my chest, a thread that ties us together. I never want it to end.
The band returns and immediately sets up, the starting notes of Cry to Me by Solomon Burke flowing through the speakers.
“Dance with me,” Roman whispers.