21. Ian
21
IAN
The moment Maddie’s lips touched mine again, the rest of the world faded away. I couldn’t think straight, could barely even remember my own name. All I knew was the feel of her beneath me, soft and warm and willing, her breath catching as my tongue gently grazed against her lips to deepen the kiss.
She tasted incredible, like something forbidden and perfect, and I couldn’t stop myself from sinking deeper, pressing myself closer as if she might slip away. Her perfume wrapped around me, a soft, intoxicating blend that made me feel like I could breathe her in forever and still not get enough.
I hadn’t planned on this. I hadn’t planned on Maddie taking up so much space in my mind, my life.
But somehow, in the short time I’d known her, she’d captured me, piece by piece, before I even realized what was happening. The way she laughed, the tender love in her voice when she talked about her son, the vulnerability she tried so hard to hide—I couldn’t help but care about her. More than I’d ever intended.
And that terrified me.
Because if I wasn’t careful, she’d probably go and steal every single piece of my heart.
But here, in this moment, with her body so warm against mine, I let myself forget my own warnings—just for a while. My fingers traced along her jawline, brushing over the delicate curve of her cheek, her skin warm and impossibly soft beneath my hand. She leaned into me, and my heart lurched, a fierce ache pounding through my chest.
It wasn’t just desire—it was something deeper, something that made me feel like if I let her go now, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.
I tilted her head slightly, giving myself the chance to explore further. My lips left hers, trailing a slow, deliberate path down her neck. The faint, intoxicating scent of her perfume filled my senses as I nuzzled into the hollow of her throat. She let out a soft, breathless sound that sent a thrill coursing through me, making it impossible to stop.
The curve of her neck, the warmth of her skin beneath my lips—it was overwhelming, almost too much. My hand moved to the small of her back, pressing her closer to me as I kissed the sensitive spot just below her ear. Her pulse thrummed against my lips, quick and unsteady, matching the wild rhythm of my own heartbeat.
Everything about her was consuming me, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to come up for air.
I wanted to pull her closer, let this kiss turn into something more. My thoughts flicked to the bed, just a few feet away—it would be so easy…carrying her over, laying her down, and letting us both get lost in each other completely. My hands tightened on her waist, the heat between us growing as I smoothed my fingers along the skin just above the hemline of her shorts.
I hadn’t been with a woman in such a long time. But going there with Maddie…it almost seemed so right. Like maybe I’d waited this long because I was meant to wait for her.
For this moment right here.
But no—I shouldn’t be thinking about that. Going that far wasn’t just something you can come back from.
And Maddie had already been through so much. She’d been hurt by people who should’ve protected her, trusted her, loved her.
She had a son.
A life.
Responsibilities I never had to consider before.
And though she was strong—man, she was stronger than anyone I’d ever met—I could sense the fragility in her, too. She was tough, yes, but there was a softness, a delicate thread woven through her that I knew I couldn’t risk breaking.
And she deserved so much better than a fling or a meaningless night. She deserved the world.
I felt her fingers against my neck, threading into my hair, pulling me closer, and my resolve nearly crumbled all over again.
I wanted her so badly, wanted to let go and forget everything that made this complicated. The ache was almost unbearable.
But I knew I couldn’t.
Or rather, I shouldn’t.
So instead of deepening the kiss further and taking her down the path I was so tempted to travel, I slowed the kiss. Letting the intensity between us simmer down to something sweet, something that I hoped told her what I couldn’t say aloud yet—that I cared about her, that I wanted to be more for her than I’d ever been for anyone else.
That I was so scared that I was going to screw everything up.
My thumb traced gentle circles along her waist, easing the both of us out of the whirlwind.
I forced myself to break the kiss, leaning my forehead against hers, my breathing still unsteady. For a moment, neither of us moved, our breaths mingling in the small space between us.
“Maddie,” I whispered, my voice hoarse. “You… That was…” But I couldn’t finish the thought since words couldn’t explain how I felt in that moment. So overwhelmed by the strength of the feelings I was having right then.
I didn’t think anyone had ever made me feel the way Maddie did.
But she seemed to understand what I was trying to say because she just looked up at me, her eyes soft and full of something that made my heart twist as she whispered, “I know…”
And I suddenly wanted to tell her everything. Tell her that she was changing me, that I didn’t want this to be just for show.
But I held back, afraid that if I went there now, I’d never be able to hold back again.
So I pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering there, hoping she felt everything I wasn’t ready to say.
Because this wasn’t just a fake weekend fling. Not for me, at least.
Not anymore.
And that scared me more than anything.