Chapter 15
Chapter
Fifteen
Edith
S o, fucking beautiful.
His words decorate my skin, causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand as my entire body yearns for him. Never before have the words of a man impacted me in a way that I feel them deep in my core.
He’s close—dangerously close—causing my heart to race that same sprint it’s always done when he is near, only the closer he gets, the faster it beats, taking the breath from me as he does. He teases the tip of his thumb over the cupids bow of my lips and I suddenly find myself in a situation where my heart and mind are playing tug of war: my head screaming that the man in front of me belongs to my sister and my heart pleading with me for just a taste.
Just a taste.
But I still try to resist temptation.
“Joel,” I whisper, wiping his remaining tears away. I should move away, but it’s like gravity has taken all my control, weighing me down with lust and love leaving me a deadweight under his intoxicating touch. “We can’t. We shouldn’t.”
Hoping my words will make him realise the reality of what our bodies are doing and take that step back, I lose all sense of control when his voice cracks and the plea in his eyes tells me everything.
“Please, Edie. I just want to feel something other than this constant ache.”
His words hit me hard. It’s like he’s inside my mind—like he feels the equal pain within me—but this ache inside is not just grief. It never has been. It’s one of longing. An ache for something I’ve craved for so long and the one person who can change that is the very one who is wanting more.
It’s right here in this moment that all my self-control is ripped away and the years of deep desire I’ve kept silent roar through my body like an inferno when I allow his mouth to press against mine.
His lips massage my own with the sweetest touch, his fingertips brush over my jaw and when our tongues collide, I’m thrown back to my fifteen-year-old self, pinned against the wall when Joel Fitzpatrick kissed me last. It had been a kiss that set my body alight and sent my head spinning, and I’ve carried and craved that feeling ever since.
Only this is so much more.
Now, his body is broader.
His hand that cups my jaw is greater.
His kiss is deeper, and the power he has over me is far stronger, causing the flickering flame to surge into an uncontrollable blaze.
And that scares me.
Yet, instead of doing the right thing and protecting my heart, I do the very opposite and let him pull me towards him to straddle him.
He tastes of whiskey and fresh water. His large hands hold me close, roaming my body as if he needs to cover every part of me at once. We kiss and we kiss, like we’re making up for lost time, him robbing me of my every breath, taking me higher with need, deep with want, as he explores my body.
“Edie…” he breathes .
My fingers frantically take to the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders to remove it before my mouth covers every inch of his warm, golden skin. I’m pulled back, giving him the perfect access to the line of my throat. His thick beard scratches at my skin as his mouth licks and sucks, descending between my breasts. His hand supports the centre of my back as I arch my upper body into him, rocking against his erection to ease the throb between my legs. My head falls back, his path of seduction drawing a whimper from me when he grazes his teeth over my nipple through the fabric of my dress. I try to ignore the voice in the back of my head telling me I should be ashamed—that he’s my best friend but more importantly, my brother in-law.
Like an electric current has just bolted through me, I jerk into him when his hand shifts under my dress, his fingers rubbing over the lacy material of my underwear, teasing my most sensitive part.
“Oh, God, Joel.”
He pulls me upright, bringing me back to the storm that’s now in his eyes as he continues to taunt me. The urgency to feel him inside me is explosive.
“I want you, Edie.”
“Then have me,” I say without hesitation, pressing my lips to his and teasing the tip of my tongue with his before I whisper my clarification once more. “I want you inside me.”
Our locked gaze never falters when he stands and carries me upstairs to the bedroom, my heart pounding so hard with the anticipation of what’s to come.
I’ve imagined, dreamed and touched myself over these forbidden fantasies time and time again, but nothing compares to this.
Placing my feet to the floor, I hold his stare as his fingers dust over my back to undo the thin tie of my dress. The two panels that cover my breasts fall to my waist, my skin covering in chills as he slowly pushes the rest of the material to the floor, leaving me exposed. I remain in place when he runs a finger down the centre of my body, dipping between my legs and through my wet heat. My eyes slam shut, and I grip onto his arm to steady myself.
“So fucking wet.”
That voice in the back of my mind is now shut down and overpowered by a thirst so great I can’t rationalise. “Joel, please. I want you to fuck me.”
“Get on the bed,” he growls, sending a shiver through me with a dominance I’ve never witnessed.
That profound feeling of guilt for even being attracted to this man is gone, and for the first time in my life, I don’t think twice about taking something that isn’t mine. I don’t think of the consequences. I don’t think of anything other than the man standing over me—his physique strong and ripped—and the way my chest rises and falls with expectancy. The way my heart pounds for a love I’ve only ever had for him.
Dropping to his knees, he cups my arse cheeks, pulling me to the edge of the bed. His fingers dip into the band of my underwear, tugging down the lace for him to remove them as his eyes flash with fire.
“I want to taste you,” he demands. “And I need to hear you.”
He lifts my leg, kissing my ankle with warm, wet kisses before placing it and my other over his shoulders. His tongue plays like the devil with my inner thigh, moving closer and closer to the sensitive part of my body.
I’m ready to lose myself completely.
“Please…”
But he makes me wait.
“Joel, please.”
When his mouth covers my heat, I feel no shame over the cry that leaves my throat as I rock my hips against him, needing more as I fist the sheets.
This is forbidden but the selfish side of me that has been starved for so long wants to have it all.
I want to know what it feels like to be in the hands of the man who has been at the heart of my prohibited desires—who is secret in my illicit dreams.
But this, right now, this is more than I’d imagined.
From the tip of my toes, a heat climbs up my body, wrapping itself around my limbs and pooling in my lower stomach as he moves his mouth and tongue over me like I’m a blank canvas.
I tremble under his touch, my orgasm on the brink. “Joel.”
When he pushes a finger inside me, I come undone, crying out as he drives me wild, taking me higher and higher when I’m still on this intoxicating ride.
He kisses a path up to my mouth, letting me taste myself on his tongue as he cages me in with his strong arms.
With each kiss, I undo his trousers, pushing them over his hips and taking his hard length in my hand to stroke him. He groans into my mouth but places a firm hand over mine to stop me.
“If you keep doing that I’m going to come.”
“Isn’t that the idea?”
He grins against my lips. “I want to be inside you when I do.”
“You still can be.” I push on his chest and he stands, letting his trousers fall. If I’ve only got this night, I want him every way I can. I want to feel, taste, touch and be taken.
For a second, I don’t do anything other than cast my eyes over his body and how fucking magnificent he is. He is all deep curves and strength, and the Joel I’ve fantasied over for years is nothing compared to the man standing in front of me.
I tease my tongue over the tip, tasting him before I take him into my mouth. The deep, groan that rumbles from his chest causes chills to cover my body as his hand grips the back of my head to guide me. My body is on fire, the bundle of nerves between my legs aching once again for a release.
“Edie. Stop. No more.”
His gruff request has me releasing him, even though I want all of him. Tilting my head back, he crashes his mouth to mine in a deep, hungry kiss.
Covering me with his muscular frame, the chain around his neck tickles my skin as he studies me once more, watching me as though he’s capturing this moment to remember forever while he traces his finger over my lips.
“My beautiful Edith.”
He rarely calls me by my full name but hearing it now—like this—it’s like he’s signing a contract and making me his, which I know can never be and it brings doubt into my mind about what will come after this night.
Will it be like nothing has changed? Will this be the start of something more? Will it break us all together once reality hits?
All these things run around in my mind and inflict a panic inside, yet my words are shut down, and my breath is stolen when he pushes inside me.
My body roars to life as his groan filters between us, his forehead rests on mine. “You feel fucking amazing.”
I grip hold of his arms, needing to feel grounded because he has me falling even deeper, and I swear my feelings are mirrored in his eyes.
“Breathe, Edie. I got you,” he whispers against my lips. “I’m not letting go.”
I let out an unsteady breath and plead with him. “Fuck me, Joel. Please.”
He doesn’t answer my plea. When he moves, nothing about it is fast, hard or rough. He’s controlled, demanding yet passionate, making me feel everything I’ve ever wanted to feel when with a man.
My hands span over his back, my nails pinching his skin with each rock of his hips, and when he looks into my eyes as though he can see deep into my soul, I don’t hold back when it comes to showing him everything I’ve been hiding.
It’s all too much yet it’s still not enough. No words are exchanged because the feather-light kisses over my skin say it all, and when I feel the ripples of pleasure beginning to take over my body, I know he’s going to ruin me: no other man is ever going to come close to making me feel the way he’s making me feel.
“Joel, I’m…” My back arches as my orgasm crashes through me hard. I cry out, over and over, feeling the riptide before a raspy groan escapes him.
We are nothing more than rapid heartbeats, heat and erratic breathing as we hold each other’s gaze. I can’t think, and I don’t want to escape the place that Joel Fitzpatrick has just taken me to. No one has ever made me feel like he has: wanted, worshipped, desired… Loved.
And as his mouth crashes to mine, it’s right here in this moment that everything becomes clear: not only will I never forget this, but I fear I’ve put my heart on the line even more by risking everything I’ve had with him to begin with.