23 Xavier
23
XAVIER
I WAS AT work. My dog was sitting with his head in my lap while I sat at the break table in between patients, looking at the bills. I’d been home a week. Samantha and I had talked and texted every day since I’d left. Some nights we talked for hours.
I was consumed with how I was going to get back to California. Seeing Samantha had become my singular goal.
I had to figure something out. The catch-22 was that in order to afford to go, I needed to work more, but going meant I had to take time off work.
The last trip to see her had set me back $1,600. The rental car, the hotel room that I’d barely used, parking at the airport, the flight, the dinner at Castaway.
Even if I only went once a month, stayed with her, didn’t rent a car, and didn’t take her to do anything, which was not realistic, I was still looking at a minimum of $500 per trip. And that was a conservative guess. So $500 a month was $6,000 a year—and I didn’t have $6,000 lying around. If I did, I should be using it to fix the ancient air conditioner on the roof of the clinic or to upgrade the office laptops or to add extra kennels to the back.
Maybe I needed to raise my rates. Get creative. Start selling items out front? Dog bowls, leashes, collars. Send Maggie and Tina to classes for new specialties like dog training or ultrasounds that we could charge for. But even that would require an initial investment for me to get them their certifications and buy the inventory.
I let out a sigh and closed the laptop.
Maggie and Tina came back from their lunch breaks.
“We got you a burrito,” Maggie said, handing me a bag.
“Thanks. Hey, would either of you be interested in stocking retail items?”
Tina shrugged. “I’ll do it. Why? You think we need it?”
“I need to generate more income.”
Maggie took off her sweater and hung it. “You know, we could always get another doctor if you need the clinic to make more money.”
We couldn’t get another doctor. The business couldn’t afford it.
The loan payments for the practice were astronomical.
After I paid my loans every month, the utilities, payroll, and all the rest of the overhead, I got to keep what was left.
Sometimes what was left was less than minimum wage.
While bringing in a second doctor might mean we could take more business, it also meant I’d have to pay them a doctor’s wages. I couldn’t even pay myself a doctor’s wages half the time.
I knew the statistics when I got into this. Almost half of all small businesses went under within five years. And most didn’t make a profit for the first few years either. Considering those two things, I was actually doing okay. And it wouldn’t always be like this. Once the practice was paid off and I could keep everything it made, I’d be doing very well for myself—but that wasn’t going to help me now or anytime soon.
That was the trade-off. I could have worked for someone else—I did. After I got licensed, I worked at an already established clinic for a while. The pay was reliable and stable, the benefits were good. But I’d wanted something that was mine. I wanted my name on the door.
I wanted my parents to see what I was capable of.
I didn’t mind working hard and living lean. But now I found myself with very few options and even less wiggle room to find the time or the money to see Samantha.
“We’re not in a place to take on another doctor right now,” I said, not getting into the details.
“But, we have the demand,” Tina said. “I mean, the phones ring off the—”
“Doctors are expensive.”
My tone shut down the conversation.
They didn’t leave. They hovered. Apparently they weren’t done with me.
“What?” I said, unwrapping my burrito.
“Soooooo my friend Veronica went to the veterinary conference last weekend,” Tina said. “She said she didn’t see you there.”
“It was a big conference,” I said, dismissively.
“Huh,” Maggie said. “We were kind of thinking maybe you didn’t actually go to the conference at all. That maybe the conference was just a cover story because you’re so into Samantha you had to make an excuse to go see her.”
I raised my eyes to them. They were smiling at me expectantly. I didn’t like telling them about my private life, but I also didn’t want to lie.
“I didn’t go to the conference,” I said. “I went to see her.”
They exchanged a giddy look.
“So you guys are a thing?” Tina said, barely containing her excitement.
I took a bite of my burrito instead of answering. They took my silence for confirmation.
They both squealed.
“I know you don’t like to talk about your personal life, but we are so excited for you!” Maggie said.
“Are you two exclusive?” Tina asked.
“Yes,” I said, taking another bite.
“Did you ask her this or are you just assuming?” Maggie asked.
I chewed and swallowed. “I just know.”
They glanced at each other.
“Um, if you haven’t talked about it, she could be doing anything,” Tina said.
Maggie was nodding.
“Like, how do you know she’s not just ‘seeing you,’” Tina said, putting her fingers in quotes. “Meaning she’s seeing other people too.”
“Are you her boyfriend?” Maggie asked. “Has she called you that?”
I thought back. No. She hadn’t called me that.
“Does she call herself your girlfriend?” Maggie asked.
I couldn’t recall her doing that either.
I stared at them both for a few seconds, then dropped my burrito on the table and went to the office.
Samantha picked up on the second ring. A machine was whirring loudly in the background.
“Hello, Xavier.”
“Hi. What are you doing? What’s that noise?”
“I’m making Mom juice.” The machine shut off.
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Can I… can I ask you a question?”
“Yesss…”
“You’re not seeing anyone else, right? The two of us, we’re exclusive?”
“This is a very weird way to ask me to be your girlfriend.”
I paused. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
“I mean, yeah .”
The corner of my mouth twitched up. “Good,” I said. “I’ll call you later.”
“Byeeeee.”
I hung up and stood there for a moment with my hands on my hips. I was smiling. I wiped it off my face and came back out.
The two women were waiting for me. “Everything good?” Maggie asked, eyeballing me.
“Fine.” I sat again. “And, yes, she’s my girlfriend.”
They lost it. Bouncing around and screaming. One of the dogs started howling in a kennel.
Maybe I did need more staff if my boring love life was the highlight of the week.
They finished their celebration and I finished my burrito. Then I went to the office to reply to emails before my next patient came in.
I sat down and stared at the photo of the grand opening for a moment.
I knew where the cut was going to have to come from. I hated it because I knew how much they needed me, but I was going to have to stop doing the volunteer work.
It would free up my Sundays for travel. I could also pick up some shifts at the emergency clinic. The pay was good and they always needed people, especially on the weekends.
I blew a breath out. I just had to work smarter. Not harder—I was already working harder.
My cell phone pinged and I pulled it out. It was Samantha. A picture of her and her mom taking a shot of orange juice.
I smiled.
My girlfriend .
The word. It made me so happy. Everything about her made me happy. Except where she lived.
That was the one thing I wished I could change.