19. Feasts of Flesh and Touch
Azariah
“H oly Mother of Beelzebub,” I hissed, squeezing my eyes shut as I pulled on the flight feather on my right wing. Fire burned up my back from my twisted position, and agony ran through the muscles of my wing.
“You’re going to do serious fucking damage like that.”
I gritted my teeth and glared over my shoulder, raising one weak and wobbling wing to see the succubus standing in the doorway of the locker room.
I was naked, taking her advice and trying another soak in Bethel’s limited supply of hot water, and her eyes made a cursory pass over my form.
There was no hunger in her gaze and I couldn’t decide whether or not I should be offended.
I knew I was an especially well formed angel, and I should’ve been bait to a hungry succubus.
With a second glance at her, I realized she wasn’t hungry at all.
“Are you here to watch me torture myself, or did you come to rub it in?” I asked.
She was practically glowing, all juiced up and happy, flush with a good feeding. I didn’t know how I knew, only that there was a distinct shine to her that spelled one thing out clearly to me.
“I didn’t mean to hurt Zach, and I certainly didn’t mean to chase him into your arms,” I snapped.
Deyva arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms over that exquisitely ample chest of hers. I was naked. Could I convince her to get naked too so I could settle her onto my cock and suckle on those pretty tits of hers?
If Zach had known the way I think, he never would’ve made the mistake of trusting me .
“Do you want to be a petty bitch, or do you want me to help out with those fucked feathers of yours?” she asked.
“It really isn’t fair of you to make me choose,” I moaned. When she didn’t relent, I sighed and turned my back to her, letting my arms fall to my sides. “Help, please.”
“Turn the water off, come sit on one of the benches.”
I shivered as I left the warm stall, surprised to find that the succubus had set out a towel for me to sit on. “Is this the part where you tell me what hole I’ll end up in if I go after one of those men again?” I asked.
I startled at the first gentle brush of Deyva’s fingertips over my feathers.
She was brushing the water away with a careful touch, gently smoothing semiplumes over flight feathers, finding all the kinks and tears still remaining.
She lifted up a jar of anointing oil and smoothed it over her hands before carefully massaging the spines of slightly nicked and kinked feathers.
“I don’t need to, the guys can speak up for themselves. You know why I was angry, right?” she asked.
“Because they automatically trusted me, no questions asked, while they were still giving you the cold shoulder? Ow!” I flinched away, hissing as Deyva plucked a feather right out of its socket.
She passed it to me and I understood why; it was missing some of its plume and had a deep, unhealed gouge up its spine.
It was never going to repair, but growing the new feather was going to be a bitch.
She soothed the aching spot with her finger and I settled again, swallowing my moan and letting my eyes fall shut.
“Yes, and?” she said, surprising me.
I sat in sullen silence for a minute, waiting for her to strike again, before finally giving in to my own impatience. “And I abused that trust. Mother Mary on the cross! ”
Deyva tossed another feather to the floor. Was this care or punishment?
“I’m not sure I need to fly again,” I whined, rustling my wings out of her reach, forcing her to lean away or get swat at.
She slapped my back underneath the right one, almost playful. “Get over it, you overgrown baby bird. Man, Heaven really wasn’t preparing you for war, were they?”
Which only made me think of what I’d gone through in Hell. What she must’ve gone through. I spread my wings down to either side again, feeling the sting of my bruised tail feathers brushing against her legs.
“And yes, that is why I was so angry with you. You abused Zach’s trust, his faith ,” she said softly.
“And now you’ve restored it in you,” I tossed back.
“No. Zach’s faith should be in himself, and in God, if that’s what makes him happy.”
I fell into silence, biting on my own lip and grunting as she pulled two more feathers out by the root in quick succession.
“There, the rest just need a couple grafts and a good cleaning. You know these have to be tended now. You can’t just run in and out of battle and not take care of them,” she murmured.
“In Heaven—”
“You aren’t in Heaven now, Az. This is what’s left of the real world, and it’s the best you’re going to get.
You said you fell because you wanted Heaven to help these humans?
Well you’re here now. You’re their best chance of survival.
Quit fucking around and show-boating and actually do some good.
Learn to live with them, respect them, protect them. ”
It was a hard and unsympathetic speech and I suspected it was meant, at least in part, for herself too.
“Do you...do you remember what it was like before you fell?” I asked, trying to twist to look at her. But she had a good grip on my sore wing and I gave up at the first twinge.
Deyva was quiet. Her breath was making the downy feathers up at my joint flutter. I wanted to raise my wings and have her slide in underneath, wrap herself against my back, stroke my feathers over her shoulders and hold her to me. I missed contact with another body, cuddling even.
“A little,” she whispered, fingers pinching and smoothing a broken shaft.
I blinked at the tile wall and smiled slowly. “Do you remember what it was like between angels and your kind? The feasts of flesh and touch? Don’t you miss it?”
I expected her to tell me to shut up, or for her to jump up from the bench and leap onto my lap to swallow down another mouthful of my energy in a rough kiss, like she had in the battle. What I didn’t expect was the bright giggle at my back.
“Jesus, Az, are you that horny?” she laughed.
I frowned and huffed. “No! No, I just...miss, you know, the touch. Angels are—”
“Very affectionate little sex fiends, I remember,” Deyva said fondly, and then she took mercy on me, reaching underneath my wing to stroke my back as she worked. “And yes, I did miss that. For millennia.”
I waited, hearing the unspoken ‘but’ at the end of that statement.
I glanced over my shoulder and around my wing, blinking at her.
She was busy examining my feathers and her eyes were an almost cat-like golden-green.
She was sated. On only two human men? Even if things had gone well with Zach, I probably still would’ve wanted more.
I hadn’t thought of myself as a sex-fiend like Deyva said, only that Heaven was a place full of love in all its forms, and that usually included a fair share of physical appreciation for one another.
“Who knows,” Deyva murmured, pinching another flight feather shaft, her fingers coated in the fragrant oil.
“Maybe I don’t remember it that well, so it’s easier to live without.
Maybe I was working the rounds in Hell too long.
But things with Stav and Zach are...a little more precious.
It’s not about what I was created for, it’s about who they are, and who I am to them.
It makes me think about who I am to myself too.
In Heaven, it was always us as we were a reflection of God. ”
“Your time with them is selfish,” I said, not meaning to be unkind.
“Personal,” Deyva corrected with a soft smile.
“You’re not feeding to your fill.”
“Eh. No. But I am feeding enough, and I’d rather take what they’re willing to offer than snatch a meal from any angel in Hell. Or , any angel who is missing his family and looking for a pleasant distraction from loneliness.”
“So you’re saying I should just be lonely?” I whined, mostly teasing.
“I’m saying, if you want your dick sucked by anyone in this town, you have to fucking earn it, Az.
And to quit hitting on me now that you’ve decided I’m not some Hell-crusted bottom feeder.
My boyfriends are already mad at you, and they’ll try and kick your ass if they hear about it, and then I’ll have to finish kicking your ass on their behalf. ”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “ Boyfriends? I knew you came to gloat. How was it? Was Zachariah especially decadent? His ass is very plush.”
“I will bite your dick off, Az,” Deyva said sweetly, sliding off the bench. “Now, wrap that towel around your waist.”
I did so.
“Good, stand up. Hold your arms out at your sides.”
I stiffened, lifting my arms slowly at my sides, watching Deyva approach me warily. “Did you mean you’re going to bite my dick off now? Can’t you just lick it for a minute or two fir—”
My words stopped abruptly as Deyva pressed herself to my front, wrapping her arms around my waist and resting her cheek against my bare chest.
“And before you ask, this is all you get,” Deyva said.
I stood there, frozen for a moment, before sinking into the hug, squeezing my arms around her too, nestling my face down between her warm horns.
It was awkward and comfortable at the same time.
It wasn’t grinding against Zach in a shabby little bedroom, and it wasn’t a rage-fueled kiss on a battlefield, and it certainly wasn’t getting my brain sucked out through my dick by a hungry succubus.
But it was nice enough. For a hug.
“Oh.”
Zach stiffened as he turned and found me behind him. It was dark, and the air was thick and cold and smelled of ash.
“Your patrol partner...Davis, I think, he’s ill. I offered to take his place,” I said.
Zach frowned at me, brow furrowing, and glanced around as if he was waiting for someone else to appear and relieve him of this duty. Of me.
“Kais was in prayer with a few families and Stavros—”
“Alright, fine,” Zach snapped. “There’s nothing to see anyway, the smog is too thick. Something could be ten yards past the gate and we wouldn’t know.”