28. Faith, Hope, and Love
Deyva
“T hey’re looking better every day.” Zach came up to my side, hand drifting around my waist.
“They are,” I agreed, leaning into him. “I think the run-in with the hellbats gave this army some confidence.”
Kais had been leading Bethel citizens in their fight training for over a week now, with Azariah’s help on hellion knowledge and Zach leading the weapons drills.
After the initial grumbling of soreness and fatigue that came from training twice a day, the flock was starting to shine, treating the recent battle as if it were a learning exercise instead of an attack.
Their tenacity was truly impressive—the strength and muscle memory settling into their limbs made them more confident, and their recent experience encouraged their own improvisation.
In that same amount of time, Kais and I danced around each other with suggestive jokes and playful banter.
He did seem less on-edge after our rough fucking on the mat, so it must have done him good.
His taste was lighter, more at ease lately, although he didn’t approach me about repeating it.
And like a damn human, I couldn’t bring myself to walk up and ask, “Hey, wanna grab my horns and pound the Hell out of me again?”
It didn’t stop me from crawling into his bed at night though, and holding him through the nightmares that still plagued him.
He thrashed in his sleep, cold sweat on his brow until the moment he touched me.
I stroked indulgently through the dark curls on his head, rubbed his back, and pushed to him all the emotions that Zach and Stavros filled me up with.
My boyfriends didn’t seem bothered by me going to him at night. They had each other, and somehow seemed much better at keeping their jealousy in check than I was.
“Do you think they’ll be ready for the next attack?” Zach pulled me posessively against his hip. Once so closed off to any physical touch, he started raining down the affection, almost overnight.
“The water supply is restoring and Az blessed all the weapons.” I nodded as I scanned the gym full of people moving through their drills. “You’ll have a fighting chance for sure.”
And if I could just bring myself to leave, maybe you wouldn’t have such a target on your back.
“And with you,” he pressed a kiss to my horn, pulling a soft gasp from my mouth, “there’s no way we can lose.”
I looked up with a smile, leaning into him as he tugged at me for more not-so-sneaky kisses, but the sense of dread was always looming.
He had no idea how weak I was, that every time I talked myself into crossing over the gate, he or Stavros would kiss me like that, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave.
Not even to save these men from Kimaris' wrath and King Belial’s conquest. I’d imagined that Belial wouldn’t be pleased to find out about Az’s release, but I hadn’t imagined he’d be willing to bargain.
If Belial wanted Azariah back so much, nothing would stop him from tearing Bethel apart brick by brick on his way. Unless I could convince Belial that Azariah wasn’t worth the bother. That I would more than make up for the loss. If I could just bring myself to leave in his place.
Fucking coward, I thought with every indulgent taste of Zach’s mouth.
“Ugh. Who needs to see that?”
Zach tore away, his head whipping around in search of who’d offered their commentary, but everyone on the bleachers was conveniently looking the other direction.
I rubbed his shoulder with a sigh. “It’s okay, Zach.”
“No, it’s not,” he growled, mismatched eyes narrowed dangerously. “You’ve been here over a month now. You’ve done so much for this town already, by helping out and by protecting us. If I could get over myself, so can they.”
“Some people will never look past the horns.” I shrugged. “The conditioning runs too deep. And I’m sure it doesn’t help that you’re their priest.”
“Well...yeah, I guess.” Zach admitted sheepishly. “Vows of celibacy just don’t seem as significant at the end of the world.”
The young priest perked up when Azariah walked in through the side doors, answering the squealing calls of his name with smiles and waves. From here I could see how his jaw tensed.
“I just got an idea,” Zach announced, his eyes following the angel. Excitement wafted off of him with the bright flavor of fresh-squeezed orange juice.
“Do tell.”
“You should heal Az fully,” he said, returning his gaze to me. “In public, where everyone can see.”
I wrinkled my nose. “I don’t like this idea.”
“Why not? It’ll show everyone the good you’re capable of. Not that you haven’t been doing that with your own actions lately. But sometimes people need things spelled out for them and you know Az will bite at the opportunity to demonstrate. He owes you.”
“First off,” I counted on my fingers, “it’s going to be painful as Hell for Az, worse than just letting him heal naturally. Secondly, I have to, you know, touch him a fair amount for it to work.”
“It doesn’t bother me if you touch him.” Zach snuck a quick peck on my lips. “But it’s sweet of you to be concerned. And sure, ask him first, but you think he’d turn down an opportunity to show off a miracle?” He nudged my shoulder. “And to talk you up?”
“Ugh, you’re right,” I groaned. “He’ll grin and bear it if it’s a moment in the spotlight.”
“Oh, I don’t think it’ll be that painful for him.” Zach’s chuckle sounded nervous.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Did you have someone like him?” His voice lowered to a near-whisper. “An angel who was your...partner? Before you fell, I mean.”
“Oh, Zach.” I leaned my head on his shoulder with a sigh, an old ache winking alive again in my memories. “That was so long ago.”
White feathers veined in pink and eyes laced with lightning. He carried me down in a spiralling flight, with laughter like thunder. For a moment, we’d thought we were free.
“Sorry I asked,” he mumbled, an embarrassed flush creeping up from his collar.
“I did love an angel, yes,” I said. “We fell together. He became...unrecognizable after only a few centuries.”
Sometimes Kimaris would parade Ahlaeus out when he was feeling especially sentimental, and now my once-lover only reminded me of my worst enemy.
“I’m sorry, Deyva.”
“Honestly, it’s just one thing on the list of many terrible things that goes on in Hell.” It happened so long ago, the beautiful moments hardly felt real anymore. I had even forgotten what love tasted like, until Stavros reminded me.
Zach wrapped one hand around my knee and gave an affectionate squeeze. “We’ll make sure you never go back there.” He angled his lips down for another kiss. “Promise.”
My heart panged in answer. I thought in coming here I’d find sanctuary. Instead I’d found salvation, and it was going to lead me directly to my own destruction.
“Well, didn’t you just hit the jackpot?” Azariah strutted around me, feathers fanned out like a peacock. “A pretty virgin who turns out to actually be good at fucking, with brains to boot. Not everyone is so lucky, succubus.”
“I’m starting to doubt the brains thing,” I muttered, arms crossed over my chest, while the citizens of Bethel gathered into the gymnasium. Azariah had wanted to use the chapel, but Zach said it wouldn’t hold the whole town, and he was determined to make every Bethel resident witness my “miracle.”
Azariah and I stood in the middle of the basketball court, the bleachers folded back so everyone in the town could fit into the gym to watch the spectacle.
With every person that filed in, I regretted going along with Zach’s idea more.
The tastes of confusion, awe, and fear mingled in the air, amplified by all the bodies pressing in.
Only a few people tasted genuinely curious. Will gave me a smile and a wave as he walked in. I returned the gesture, but groaned as I turned to face Az.
“How do we know this is even going to work? They’re probably just going to hate me more for touching you, on top of already getting with the priests.”
“Have faith, First Daughter.” Azariah grinned through his teeth, waving at a giggling group of women. “Shall we get started?”
“Yes, please, let’s get this over with.” I raised my palms, ready to wrap around him in a hug, but the angel caught my wrist to stop me.
“Ah-ah. Speech first, succubus.” I groaned again as he spun in a wide circle to address everyone in the gym.
“Thank you all for coming!” His voice projected to the gym walls and ceiling with a slight echo.
“I understand there has been some confusion about Deyva, Bethel’s resident succubus, and lover of priests. ”
“Seriously?” I hissed through my teeth at him, my smile so stiff it actually hurt my face. “Can you not? ” It didn’t take long for the flavors in the air to shift to disapproval. Not like it was a secret, but fucking hell, he didn’t have to announce it like that.
“I call Deyva First Daughter because,” Az went on, ignoring me. “Her kind was the first of God’s sentient creations. She came before humans, and God loved her well.”
I stiffened. Alluding to what Zach brought up earlier, I had forgotten what it was like to be in God’s favor as well. Who knew if anyone in this room would feel that again?
“But she’s from Hell!” someone called out. “Just look at her!”
“She’s no more a hellion than I am,” Azariah snapped.
“She has horns, yes. And what do you call these?” He pointed at the golden spikes pointing up from the top of his wing joints.
“Hell starts corrupting you the moment you step into that realm, no matter how pure your soul is. And the succubi,” he stole a glance at me, “they were almost too perfect. God made them to be sustained on love, and for them to give love, so others would feel God in their hearts.”
Az’s voice had softened to the point that made it seem like he was only talking to me, that this was a conversation only between us and not a few hundred people. I stared back at him, trying to read what the crafty bastard was thinking.