Chapter 4
CHAPTER
FOUR
ISLA
The following day, the house still felt all wrong without him.
Even though he hadn’t been there for the last couple of weeks before his arrest, his absence felt different this time.
It was like something vital had been ripped out of the walls, leaving behind this hollow, echoing shell, this giant hole we couldn’t escape.
I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw it again. The police officer dragging Julius away while staring only at me. He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t even angry. He just looked sad and defeated.
Maybe he knew this was coming all along? How did I not know what he was doing?
I stood in the middle of the living room, my arms wrapped around me, peering at nothing. My mind kept replaying everything. Every late night. Every vague answer. Every time I didn’t ask questions because I didn’t want to hear the answers. It was easier to believe the version of him he gave me.
My best friend.
The one who helped me stand on solid ground for the first time in my life. He was the first boy who ever cared about me, caring more for me than himself.
“God,” I whispered, pressing my fingers to my temples. “I’m such an idiot.”
No, not an idiot, just willing to believe whatever story he told me. I was willing to ignore all the signs, accepting his half-truths, which came wrapped in warmth and attention and the kind of love that made me feel chosen.
I thought he trusted me…
My mind spiraled, thinking about the one question I hadn’t let myself fully face yet. The one question that sat thick and harsh on my chest.
Kraven.
I hadn’t seen him since last night, and my feet started moving before I could talk myself out of it. My steps carried me down the hallway, past the rooms that suddenly felt unfamiliar, until I reached his bedroom door.
I didn’t knock. Instead, I pushed it open. Kraven was already awake. He stood near his window, arms crossed, staring out like he’d been expecting me to appear.
“You’re up early,” he greeted, voice composed.
Too composed.
I slammed the door behind me, harder than necessary.
I didn’t want to lose my nerve, so I quickly spewed, “Did you call the cops on Julius?”
There was no buildup on my behalf.
No hesitation.
The words came out fast, slicing through the space between us. Kraven didn’t flinch. He didn’t look surprised either.
Slowly, he turned to face me. And for a second, just a second, I saw something flicker in his gaze. It wasn’t guilt. It was something deeper.
“Kitty…”
“Don’t! Don’t you dare call me that! Just answer my question.” My hands began shaking, curling them into fists, trying to hide it from him. In a firm tone, I repeated, “Did you call the cops on Julius?”
The silence stretched until he confessed, “Yes.”
The word landed like a physical blow on every part of my body, forcing me to jerk back and away from him. I literally recoiled.
“You—” My voice broke. I swallowed hard, forcing it steady. “You did?”
He didn’t glance away, not making it easier for me. At least then I would know he felt shame about betraying his own brother.
His voice didn’t soften. “I did.”
“You did,” I echoed, quieter now, as if saying it softer made it hurt less.
It didn’t.
“He was in deep, Isla.”
Another shot to my heart. “I don’t give a shit!” The words tore out of me before I could stop them. “You don’t get to decide that! You don’t get to do that to him!”
“To him?” His tone hardened slightly. “Or to you?”
I stared at him, confused. “What?”
“You think this was just about Julius?” he questioned, stepping closer to me. “You think I did this just to fuck him over?”
“Why else would you?” I fired back. “You hate him.”
“That’s not—”
“You’ve always hated him. So yeah, forgive me if I don’t believe this was some selfless, noble act on your part.”
His jaw clenched, but he didn’t try to deny it, which only made it worse.
“You think I didn’t see it?” I continued, my chest heaving now. “The way you look at him? The way you talk about him? Like he’s… like he’s something to be dealt with instead of a person. Instead of your brother, your own flesh and blood.”
“He is something to be dealt with.”
I scoffed in disbelief. “Wow.”
He stepped toward me, and I stepped back.
Raising his hands in the air in a surrendering gesture, he shared, “Julius was running around with people you don’t understand.
” His voice was still controlled, but something was simmering beneath it now.
“He was doing things that don’t just go away if you ignore them. ”
“And you do?” I defied him. “You’re suddenly the expert on the rules of selling drugs?”
“I know enough,” he stated.
“Clearly,” I said bitterly. “Enough to get him arrested.”
“That’s not how it—”
“Then how?” I demanded an answer, stepping closer to him until my chest nearly brushed his. “Explain it to me, Kraven. Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you saw an opportunity and snatched it. After everything he’s done for you?”
His eyes darkened. “That’s what you think?”
“What else am I supposed to think?” My voice cracked, but that didn’t stop me. “He didn’t tell me shit. I didn’t know what he was doing, but you did, didn’t you?”
His silence was answer enough, slicing my heart in half.
“I was trying to—”
“To what?” I cut him off. “Protect me?” My laugh came out strangled, broken.
“Please, spare me your theatrics. Your brother is in jail because of you. After everything he’s done for you, this is how you repay him?
By betraying him like this? You don’t get to play protector now.
Not after this.” I let my words sink in.
“Because this is unforgivable, Kraven. Is that what you wanted? Did you want him to hate you? Did you want me to?”
“No,” he responded sternly. “I was trying to fix it before it got to this point.”
“Well,” I mocked, “you fucking failed. He’s behind bars now.”
The truth hung between us.
Heavy.
Final.
Like a nail in his coffin.
His expression shifted slightly with a flicker of regret behind his stare, though it wasn’t enough.
It’d never be enough.
“I’m working on getting him out.”
“What are you going to do?” I mocked again, my voice dropping, turning colder.
“I’m handling it. The less you know, the better.”
“I’m sick and tired of both of you treating me like a child when I could be the mother of your baby. Do you see the irony in that?”
“You said it. I didn’t.”
I glared at him, then laughed. “You expect me to believe you’re going to get him out?” I shook my head, dumbfounded. “You expect me to believe you’ll fix the bullshit you caused?”
“I didn’t cause this,” he bit. “Julius did with every choice he made.”
“And you just helped it along?”
“No, I stopped it before it got worse.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I do,” he snapped, his voice low and dangerous. “I know who he was dealing with.”
“Then tell me. Tell me what was so bad that you had to ruin everything?”
His gaze held mine, and for the first time since I walked in, I hesitated. There was something in his expression, something real, something that didn’t look like manipulation or control or dominance over me. It looked like the truth, and I held on to that.
It was the only way I could continue this conversation with him.
“He wasn’t just moving drugs… he was tied to people who don’t just let you walk away when they're done using you.”
My core sank at the thought.
“He was going to walk away,” I insisted even though my voice felt weaker. “He… he would’ve eventually—”
“No, he wouldn’t have.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. The truth of the matter is, I know my brother better and longer than you. Bottom line, I knew how deep he was in.” In a lower tone, he added, “I didn’t do this to hurt you, Isla. It was the last thing I wanted to do.”
“Bullshit!” I exclaimed. “You knew that this would kill me, and don’t try to pretend you didn’t.”
He replied, “I’m fixing it. I need you to trust me.”
I scoffed out a snide chuckle. “Trust you? I trust you as far as I can throw you, Kraven.”
“I know, and I’m sorry for that.”
“Your apology means shit to me. I’m not the one you should be sorry about.”
“Isla, I’m trying to make things right.”
“That’s all you ever do!” I shouted, standing firm in front of him. “You fuck shit up and then try to make it right!”
“Yeah?” he taunted in a condescending voice. “At least I don’t run away when things get tough.”