Chapter 20
CHAPTER
TWENTY
JULIUS
“You’re my brother,” Kraven continued. “I love you.” His voice was rougher now, less controlled, like this was the part that actually mattered to him.
I stared at him, trying to reconcile that with everything he did. “You don’t get to say that like it fixes anything.” I stepped back, needing space. I broke his chain before it strangled me. “You can’t say you’re my brother and you love me and then choose her over me in the same breath.”
His eyes flashed. “You think I chose her over you?”
“You did,” I replied without hesitation.
“No,” he corrected, stepping forward again, closing the space I tried to create. “I chose to make sure she wasn’t the one paying for something she had nothing to do with or knew nothing about.”
“That’s not your call.”
“It became my call the second I realized what you were doing.”
“You should have come to me first. That’s what brothers do, that’s what family does. You don’t know the meaning of the word loyalty.”
“And waste time we didn’t have?” He shook his head. “No.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I know enough.”
“You always think you know enough.”
“And you always think you have more time than you do.”
The words collided, overlapping, neither of us backing down, neither of us giving an inch.
“Stop!” Isla stressed.
My chest feels tight, and I was unable to get a full breath, no matter how hard I tried. This confrontation was weighing on me. Through the years, we’d gotten in fights, but usually with our fists. Since we’d brought Isla into our lives, we’d been verbal sparring more often.
“You’re not listening,” she chimed in, her voice trembled despite her best effort to keep it steady. “Both of you… just stop for a second.”
I dragged my hand through my hair, pacing once before turning back to Kraven. I didn’t know what to do with any of this, unsure of how to fight him when part of me understood where he was coming from.
“I’m telling you the truth,” he insisted.
“Doesn’t mean you’re not reckless.”
“I’m realistic, protecting what matters.”
“And what—” I stepped closer to him again. “You think she matters more than I do?”
His expression hardened. “That’s not what I said.”
“That’s what you meant.”
Isla tried again, weaker that time. “Please stop.”
Kraven and I snapped our heads in her direction. The fight in us left as if it was never there to begin with. Nothing else mattered except the way she was doubled over slightly with her hand pressed against her stomach.
“Isla?” I was already moving toward her.
“I…” She inhaled sharply, shaking her head. “It’s just… just a cramp…” Another one hit, and she folded.
Everything else disappeared.
The fight.
Kraven.
Me.
None of it mattered, just that baby.
“Get the keys,” I ordered, picking her up in my arms.
Kraven didn’t argue. For once, he didn’t say a damn thing and just followed my orders. Since the first time any of this started…
We were on the same side.
ISLA
Hospitals always smelled the same. It was that pungent scent you couldn’t wash off. It clung to my skin even after they told me everything was fine.
I was fine.
The baby was fine.
I didn’t feel fine.
Twenty-four hours later, and I still didn’t feel fine.
The doctor proceeded, “It’s uterine cramping due to stress.
The baby’s heartbeat is strong, and your labs and ultrasound look good too.
I know the cramps can feel severe, but it’s not uncommon.
Your body is basically reacting to a massive rush of adrenaline.
You need to take it easy on the stress, alright? ”
I nodded.
“Have you been experiencing high levels of stress?”
I nodded again.
A careful smile spread across the doctor’s face. It was both comforting and troubling. Julius and Kraven stood by my bed, one on each side, resembling the same guilty expression on their faces.
I felt like I was being split down the middle, this huge crack breaking right down the center of me.
Julius stood with his strong composure, feeling as though he owned the room and the air that I was breathing.
His jaw clenched a bit, his hands flexing at his sides as if he was trying not to touch me, not to grab me, not to claim me because I was his…
To own.
Kraven was quieter, which was somehow worse.
He didn’t need to move to make his presence known.
He didn’t have to speak to cause the tension filling our space, wrapping its way around my throat.
His eyes were steady with mine. It was in this unshakable way that made it almost impossible to pretend he felt anything less possessive over me than Julius did.
They didn’t look at one another. They didn’t have to. Their hatred and love were enough to take down the whole room.
After the doctor excused himself, Julius suggested, “Maybe you should stay another night to be safe.” His tone was controlled, forcing it not to break into anything that might cause me any more distress than he already had.
“I’m fine,” I responded. “The doctor just said I was fine.”
“That doesn’t mean—”
“It means I’m not staying here.”
Kraven exhaled slowly, almost like he’d been holding it in this entire time. It was obvious he was choosing his next words carefully.
“This isn’t about what you want.”
My head popped toward him. “Excuse me?”
“It’s about what’s safest—”
“For me?” I sassed. “Or for the baby?”
The silence that followed was deafening. We were all aware of the answer, making it twist in my chest.
“Now I can’t make my own decisions, and you guys only get to decide what’s best? I don’t get a say in what I want?”
Julius stepped forward. It was only one step, but it was enough to shift the entire room. “No one is saying that.”
“You don’t have to say it. You’re both thinking it.”
“That’s not—”
“Stop,” I interrupted, my hands shaking. My entire body buzzed with emotions I couldn’t contain anymore.
I was exhausted from being the person in the middle of their war, and I was done with it.
KRAVEN
We could have lost the baby, and I didn’t know how to shake that. It was the only thing that kept repeating in my mind, drowning out everything else. For a second, just one second, I thought I was walking into a hospital room to hear I’d lost everything I ever wanted.
I’d never experienced fear quite like that before, not even when my parents left us. Maybe it was from knowing I had Julius, and in my heart, I wasn’t sure where I stood in any of this. I was basing everything on feelings, and that was my first mistake.
Facts over emotions was always the way I operated, and now I was this lost little puppy trying to find a home. It made me want to control everything around me, so that I never had to feel like this again.
All the sentiments quickly escalated, and I didn’t relax until the doctor said she was fine. Still, a part of me didn’t believe him. Maybe because I’d never been that lucky. She was glaring at me like I was the enemy, and she was annoyed we were trying to get her to stay.
I knew she hated hospitals. We had that in common, but she needed to understand this was bigger than her. It was bigger than all of us put together. I didn’t know what to say or do without making it worse. There was no causing her any more stress. We’d already done enough.
If she had lost the baby, it would have been our fault, and that was a ticking time bomb ready to explode at any second.
The only thing I could do was call her out. “You think this is about control? You think I give a shit about control right now?”
“Yes,” she exclaimed without hesitation. “I think that’s all you care about.”
She wasn’t entirely wrong, but she wasn’t entirely right either.
“It’s about you,” I stated, stepping closer to her despite myself. I ignored the way Julius’s entire body went still, just waiting for an excuse to intervene. “It’s about the fact that you scared the hell out of us tonight.”
I used the word “us” before I realized I’d said it. Her expression flickered, noticing I did as well. Just for a moment, I could see it, and I continued to push.
“I walked in here thinking…” I stopped, not wanting to admit this, but everyone needed to hear it.
Especially Julius.
“I thought we lost you. If you lost the baby, I don’t think you would have—”
“Forgiven you?”
I simply nodded. “There’s no coming back from that, Kitty.”
The room went quiet again as silence took over. Julius shifted slightly. He knew exactly what I meant, and he hated that.
We were all unraveling in our own ways.
I could see it happening in real time, feeling the tension building to the point of no return. It was stretched to the max, ready to snap at any second. I should have reined it in, but it was no longer unavoidable.
We couldn’t continue like this. It wasn’t good for her or the baby. I stood there, waiting for answers from the doctor as they poked and prodded her. Watching Julius’s face as he took in the baby for the first time when they were doing the ultrasound.
My brother was always hard to read. However, he wasn’t hiding a damn thing tonight. All his emotions were on his face, and he wore them proudly. The truth of the matter was, he loved the baby as much as I did. Making me think maybe it was his, or could he love my baby just as much…?
I didn’t feel relief—there was fear, anger, and something darker that I didn’t know how to name. It was the three of us. He stood by her side with as much right as I had. Almost like we were equals in this sordid love affair we couldn’t escape.
The problem was, how did we make it right for all of us?
How do we both get her without losing each other?
Julius broke through my tormented thoughts, announcing out of nowhere, “This ends tonight.”
Our eyes shifted over to him as he declared, “Things can’t keep going the way they have been. Can we all agree on that at least?”
We locked gazes for a second, aware he was right.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
Isla coaxed, “I can’t lose you, Julius. Any more than I can lose Kraven.”
“I know,” he muttered in a low tone. “It’s why I paid the extra money to have the test results back in twenty-four hours.”
I sucked in a breath.
“We should get them back any minute, and I didn’t want you to be surprised. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is upset you or stress you out again, Isla, but the longer we postpone the inevitable, the worse it’s going to be. You heard the doctor—no stress, so this ends tonight.”
Isla’s stare went wide. “What does that mean?”
Someone had to pull the trigger, and since I was the one who brought the gun, shoving the paternity test in Julius’s chest at the house, I guess it only made sense he’d actually use it. He was right. We did need to know the truth once and for all.
What did that mean for the future? I tried not to think about that and just silently prayed I was the father.
“We’ll have answers soon,” he added with certainty although his tone was anything but.