A Matter of Hoards
A Scales ‘n’ Spells Christmas Story by AJ Sherwood
As was tradition in the Burkhard clan, after any major celebration a smaller informal event for mages only was held. A calm, peaceful evening where they could consult with each other (bitch), consume light beverages (wine), and perhaps indulge in a few snacks (leftover cake).
It was a time-honored tradition North was happy to take part of.
He also felt like this was the perfect environment to bring up a long-standing question that was starting to grate.
“Hey,” he addressed the room, “I have a question. Serious question.”
Cassie, ensconced in her favorite armchair near the hearth, two glasses of wine in, was gregarious as she waved him on. “Speak.”
“Why don’t we get hoard rooms?”
Everyone paused as if first surprised, then thoughtful.
Lisette was the one to ask, “For…?”
“For whatever we want to collect. How come the dragons are the only ones who get hoards? I want a hoard! I feel like this whole thing is very unfair.”
The eldest mage in the group opened her mouth and then closed it again, brows furrowed as if she were trying to think of a good reason to argue this but was coming up short. She was also three glasses of wine in which might have had something to do with it.
Tori’s hand shot up into the air. “I want a hoard!”
See? Even Tori saw the unfairness of it all.
“Now wait,” Sora cautioned, “we have to consider space, here. There’s only so much room in this castle, big as it is, and if each mage and dragon got a whole room just for their hoard, we’d outgrow this place very quickly.”
“We’re going to outgrow it quickly anyway,” North argued. “We’re literally at the start of a baby boom. If every couple has, say, two kids, then we’ll need to build additions for the clan by the end of 2025.”
“Hard to argue that,” Cameron admitted and stretched his feet closer to the fire. “Alric and I have talked about that more than once. We’re going to start setting funds aside next quarter, get plans drawn up, all that so we’re not caught short.”
North flung up his hands, vindicated. “See! We’ll need to expand anyway so we need to lock in our hoard rooms now.”
“Makes sense.” Cassie nodded in support of this. “I need more room for my computer stuff anyway.”
“Er.” Cameron held up a staying hand. “If we’re already running out of space, then wouldn’t taking up more space for hoards be counterintuitive?”
Cassie pointed to the glass in his hand. “Finish that. Then argue with us.”
Knowing full well what she was doing, Cameron laughed and downed his vodka in one long pull. Then made a face. “Phew, that was a bit much all at once. Alright. I’m drunker. What am I being talked into signing?”
“So glad you’re amenable now.” Cassie summoned paper to her and started scribbling madly. “Just need you to sign something, brother mine.”
Tori, lounging near her feet, took another sip, his eyes fixated on the ceiling like it held the answers to all. “Oooh, Nikki.”
“Nikki is present,” the mage acknowledged with a flop of the hand. Clearly, sitting up from their current sprawl was asking for too much.
“Weren’t there like, spells to connect spaces together? That we can connect to the unused storage rooms in the basement?”
Nikki managed to lift an eyebrow. “I think…so…? I saw one in Gunter’s books but I dunno how viable it is.”
“It’s okay, Cassie will help us figure it out.”
“Cassie absolutely will,” Cassie agreed before finishing her work with a flourish. “Cameron, come sign this. Now, who’s hoarding what?”
Cameron cackled, lurched across the distance and signed, then snapped his fingers. “Wait! Need the seal. Hang on. Important bit, the seal.”
North, who had already bought about two dozen Nutcrackers and wanted to display them properly, was quick to lend his ruling consort a shoulder. “Here, you’re listing, I’ll help you get to Hoheit’s office.”
“You’re seriously the best, North.” Cameron threw an arm around his shoulders and hung on as they headed for the door. “We’ll be back momentarily, don’t eat all the cake while we’re gone!”
“No promises!” Nikki called after them.
North cackled as they walked. Mage hoards for the win.
Alric spied a paper with both signature and wax embossed seal at the bottom. Innocuous at first glance, it smelled of trouble. He’d had nothing on his desk the evening before, having cleared off his paperwork for once, so this was something only Cameron could have done, with the seal.
He picked it up, read it through, and groaned. The mages could now requisition a room for their own personal use? For their own hoards?
Alric didn’t need to ask questions to know what had brought this on. Damn the drink and bitch nights. They inevitably ended in trouble.
Now. How did he negotiate around this without pissing off every mage in his clan in one breath…?
It was a puzzle, to be sure.