Chapter 1 Evan #2
“No, but I do need to remind you to finish renovating that damn cabin of yours. If you want a live-in nanny, they’re going to need somewhere to stay, and that rundown shack won’t cut it the way it currently looks. They’ll take one look at it and run for the hills.”
“I don’t want a live-in nanny.”
“No, but you need one.” He smiles at Leo. “Is your Dad impossible to work with, kid?”
“Yes!” Leo exclaims.
“That’s right, yes, he is!” Darrell teases in a high-pitched voice, causing Leo to nod and giggle, but eventually, my coach sighs and his eyes drift back to me.
“What about your meetings with Starbound? How have they been going? Apparently, you’ve been dodging Alexander’s calls, and when you do meet with him, you barely give him anything. Peter isn’t happy.”
My nostrils flare as I inhale.
I can’t help it. Being signed to what the media knows as the hottest talent agency in Montana is the last thing I care about, but it comes with being on the team.
Peter, our manager, struck a deal worth millions with them six months ago, because, in his eyes, keeping his team relevant makes the world go round.
So now, I have to attend stupid meetings that don’t benefit me in any way, to discuss my image and what I could improve on to help the team and, more importantly, make Peter more money.
I don’t want sponsorships. I don’t need people cheering my name. I’m too fucking old for that shit. The reason I play football is because I love it, and I’m good at it. The money I earn is a bonus.
“They’re fine. Alexander is overbearing.”
My coach barks with laughter, turning around to fiddle with his expensive coffee machine. “A kiss-ass is what he is. But you need to keep the contact up. Keep Peter happy, and that’ll make me happy. Just remember that with every call of Alexander’s you ignore, I’m one step closer to being fired.”
A chuckle slips from my lips because there’s no way in hell Peter would ever fire Coach Darrell. He’s a legend, one of the best coaches out there. I think there would be an entire team walkout if he were to lose his job.
“Sure, I’ll do that.” I sip at the small espresso shot he slides over to me, fingers twitchy since this is already my third cup of coffee today, and it’s only midday.
“I understand you don’t want to be a part of this side of football, but it comes with the job. Make sure you act nice, West. Just for your final year. Play the field.”
I bite down on my lip, refusing to laugh at his football pun. “I’m always nice.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Darrell studies me. “You look tired.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Well… maybe you need to find Leo a mom, you know? Give you some more free time and loosen you up a bit. You could try your hand at dating?”
I stare at him blankly, clicking my teeth together, because this isn’t a new topic of conversation for him. He’s always teasing me about finding someone.
Leo has a mother. Well, a biological one, but that’s the extent of it. She’s never been in his life. Didn’t care enough to stick around. While I’m not mad about it, I’m disappointed that Leo has to grow up without a mother figure to look up to.
However, I don’t need a woman to be a good father, and Leo doesn’t need one to grow up to be a polite and mannerly kid. A relationship will only serve as a distraction for me, and I refuse to allow just anyone to build a relationship with my son, only to leave and let him down.
Again.
“Maybe you should find a new hobby besides sticking your nose in other people’s business,” I tell Darrell with a humoured curl to my lip as I pack up Leo’s toys and take his hand, leading him towards the door. “Come on, bud. You want to grab some ice cream on the way home?”
My son’s eyes become as wide as saucers. “Chocolate chip?”
“If you let me have some.” I give his hand a squeeze, causing him to giggle since he knows there’s no way I’m eating that sugary goo.
“Should NFL champions really be eating ice cream? Your body is a temple.” Darrell chuckles as he opens the door for us, patting me on the back as I step through. “Oh, and be sure to get some sleep tonight, West. It’ll help with the attitude problem.”
“I don’t have an attitude problem.”
“Whatever you say, big boy.”
“Honestly, Evan, there’s no need to worry. We’re going to have so much fun,” the woman dressed in clothing a little too revealing to be babysitting exclaims as she stands in the middle of my living room.
Leo sits and rummages through his toy box, distracted and somewhat uninterested in the woman, which is unusual for him since he’s usually pretty outgoing.
He’s a hell of a talker. But this woman hasn’t looked at him once the entire twenty minutes she’s been here, so I suppose my son has taken that as a sign to leave her alone.
Ava King—she seemed nice on paper. Loves animals.
Enjoys hiking and reading. Has a few younger siblings she’s used to taking care of.
But looking at her now, with her done-up hair, flirtatious eyes and breasts spilling out of her very low-cut, plunge top, I’m starting to think her resume wasn’t a great reflection of who she actually is.
I had a background check done on her after Coach Darrell interviewed her, and we’ve spoken a few times on the phone, as well as a video call, but her energy has completely changed. It’s almost like I’m talking to a completely different person. Still, I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Emphasis on trying.
Because it’s not working.
I hate the way she’s eye-fucking me.
“Like it said on my application, I’m a pretty great cook, so don’t worry about fixing yourself any dinner. I’ll have it ready for you when you get home.” Ava’s tone is too casual, as if she thinks this is what I want from her. As if this is what I hired her for.
I shake my head. “There’s no need. You’re caring for Leo, not me. I won’t need anything from you once I return from training. Besides, my sister is coming over, and she’ll probably get here before I’m back, so you can leave Leo with her.” Pausing, I add a “Thank you,” for good measure.
My voice is strong, but I make sure to lace it with a somewhat pleasant tone. However, judging by the way Ava’s face drops, I don’t do a very good job.
Not that I care much. She’s too forward, and it’s rubbing me the wrong way. I don’t want her to think that anything could happen between us.
“Oh, right, well…” Ava’s eyebrows pinch, and her shoulders sag. “Next time.”
Yeah, not a chance.
When it comes to my son, I won’t settle. I haven’t yet come across someone who actually cares for Leo. Someone who has his best interests at heart. Someone who wants the job because they love kids, not because of who I am.
Most want to stay past their welcome after I return from a game or practice. It always ends with me having to politely thank them for their time and ask them to leave.
One nanny even called him ‘Liam’ in front of me and didn’t blink twice about it. She wasn’t focusing on my son, instead, ogling me while Leo was busy entertaining himself with the laces of her perfectly pristine shoes—the most entertainment he’d probably had all day.
She never got a call back. But then again, not many of them do.
I’m debating asking Ava to go home. To not worry about caring for Leo, but Darrell will roast my head on a spit if I don’t give another one of his nannies a chance.
He’s made it very clear that I can’t continue to bring my son to practice without someone to look after him.
He loves spending time with him, but he also has a job to do, and he can’t do that if we are both distracted.
“Daddy, he’s still not here,” Leo complains loudly as his bottom lip wobbles, padding over to me, bare feet slapping against the wood.
I crouch down to his level and open my arms, inviting him in. I know exactly what he’s talking about—his stuffed Donkey, which he hasn’t been able to find for the past three days.
My son’s eyes fill with tears, but like the brave boy he is, he blinks them away and takes a deep breath, just like I taught him when he finds himself getting overwhelmed.
“He’ll show up soon, okay, buddy? I promise you. And if he doesn’t, I’ll go out and search for him. I bet he’s just gone on vacation.”
Ava takes a step towards us, cocking her head and flattening her glossy lips in—what she believes is—a comforting smile.
She places a hand on my son’s shoulder, and I absolutely hate it.
“You can look for him while your dad is working. We don’t want him to be late for training, right?
” She shoots me a wink, and I stare blankly, unfazed.
What Ava doesn’t know is that I’d happily skip training to help my son find his beloved Donkey. But that’s not in the question today.
“If you don’t find him while I’m gone, I’ll make some missing Donkey posters, and we can put them up around the city. Make sure you look everywhere.” I boop Leo’s button nose before planting a kiss on his head. “Behave for me, alright?”
“Will I get cookies?”
“Not how it works, sorry, bud. Nice try, though.”
If there’s one thing Leo definitely didn’t pick up from me, it’s his sweet tooth. I prefer bitterness—it’s why black coffee is my vice. Sweet is just too overwhelming, too intense. Too much sweetness makes you sick, and that applies to all aspects of life.
Food.
Drink.
People.
His honesty and straight-talking attitude, however, yeah, he got that from me.
“If you don’t find him, you can always get another one.” Ava smiles, but my son gawks up at her as if she’s just grown a second head.
“I don’t want another one.”
I ignore Ava’s comment, resisting the urge to shake my head. Anyone who knows anything about kids would understand that was completely the wrong thing to say.
“Don’t worry. We won’t need to get you another one. He’ll show up.”
Some may accuse me of being too meticulous when it comes to deciding who is and who isn’t allowed into my son’s life, but we know what it’s like to be left behind.
I don’t care about myself. Leo’s mother leaving didn’t affect me in that sense, but it hurt knowing running off with some other man took priority over her son.
It’s as if Leo never existed to her. He receives no check-ins. No birthday phone calls. No Christmas gifts or visits. She wiped her own child from her life entirely as if he were a mistake on a page, and my heart cracks for him.
He was too young to remember her leaving, but he’ll have to answer as to why he doesn’t have a mom when he starts kindergarten in around a year.
Everyone deserves to grow up with love from both parents, and I’m having to make up for the fact that he doesn’t have two by giving him double.
But balancing my football career and being a father sometimes feels like I’m walking on a tightrope with burning coal beneath me, and even though I’ve considered cutting my losses and buying my way out of the contract so I can retire early, something keeps me here.
My love for the sport, perhaps, but also the fact that I want to prove I can do this. That I don't need Leo’s mother around to raise my son and keep on top of my career.
“See you in a few hours. I’ll be back as soon as possible, and we can watch a film and have popcorn.”
Stubby arms wrap around my neck and bring me closer.
“Love you,” Leo whispers into my neck.
“Love you too, kiddo.”