CHAPTER TWENTY
J ULIAN
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A FTER MY CALL WITH Aiden, I called my PI guy. If I wanted to handle this on my own without the don getting involved, I would have to use my own connects. Rashad answered on the third ring.
“Hi, Julian Cattaneo. How can I help you?”
“I need you to find everything you can on Scott Pollard. He may also go by Scott Clark, the bastard son of Aaron Clark from Clark Construction.”
“I just saw their family on the news. Did the Cattaneos have something to do with that?”
“Did someone pay you to ask me that?”
He chuckled. “You Cattaneos are a suspicious lot.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
“No, no one paid me to ask you that. It was my own curiosity. But if you’re calling me, it means you can’t go through the proper channels because you fear your father or someone in your family will find out you’re looking for this Scott.”
“No. I’m going through you because you get things done fast, and so far, I’ve been able to trust you.”
Plus, if the don got involved, he’d only make the problem bigger.
“I’m glad you trust me. But remember, I do what I do for money. Trust and loyalty are part of my code. However, if I’m ever put in a situation where my family is in danger, I’d give you up like a hooker whose rent is late.”
I laughed at his word choice. “It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been betrayed. I don’t expect you to choose me over your family, ever. But I also have a family and a woman with a child to protect. And I’d kill anyone I have to in order to keep them safe. Even someone who gave my information to my enemy.”
“It seems we’re on the same page. That’s why I like you, Julian. You don’t pretend to be holier than thou or promise to help me keep my family safe if a problem occurs. You tell it to me straight. That’s why I’m going to tell you this. Your cousin, Patrick Cattaneo, I think he’s up to something. Something I will not get involved with because I love my family, plus my wife would kill me. He asked me to look into something for him, and I turned him down. If he comes for me, I won’t be able to continue working for you. I won’t give up anything about you or what you’ve hired me to do. I just... my family comes first.”
Fucking Patrick! “I understand.”
“One more thing, there’s talk that Patrick has been making moves.”
“Our don is aware of the things his brother does. Look, for the safety of your family, don’t get involved with my cousins. They’re dangerous.”
“Your entire family is.”
“Yeah. But my older cousins...”
Have no code. I couldn’t tell an outsider that. Family was family. Even the ones I generally tried to avoid.
“This is the last thing I’ll ask of you,” I told him.
“I’ll get you the information you need as soon as possible.”
“Thanks.”
“Hey, Julian....”
“Yeah,” I said.
“The woman you had me look into. Stefanie Adams.”
“What about her?” I asked, wondering if I’d have to kill this motherfucker.
“I found out something about her husband.”
Her husband? I took a deep breath and released it slowly, my mind moving to the conversation I’d overheard the very first time I saw her in the hospital waiting room. If her husband wasn’t already dead, I’d kill the bastard with my bare hands. He hadn’t deserved her. I was glad he was dead.
“I know all about her husband already,” I told him.
“Everything?”
“Yeah. All of it.”
“That was fucked up what he did.”
“Yeah. If he wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him for her.”
“You sound like a man in love, Julian Cattaneo. I’ll look into Scott Clark for you. Talk to you later. Be careful of Patrick. He doesn’t value family bonds the way you do. And he doesn’t love his sons at all.”
Trust me, I know. My cousin, Bryceson, was proof of that. Wait, did he say sons ... plural? Did Patrick have an outside child? He wouldn’t be the first Cattaneo to step outside his vows. I ended the call, wondering what exactly Patrick was up to that had even my PI shook. Whatever it was, I wanted no part of it.
Unlike my father, I had no intention of blindly following any of Patrick's or even the current don’s orders. One day, my cousin Raz would be the don. His orders I would follow. He may be brutal when he had to, but he truly put family first.
I knew Raz would allow me to steer Cattaneo Concrete Solutions in the direction my father always hoped it would go. We did cover up jobs for a select few, a few with whom the don had contracts.
But my father hated that deal. He didn’t mind us covering up our family’s problems. However, he thought it was too risky for us to do the same for others. What happened this time was a perfect example of what could go wrong, and this was with someone I trusted. Aiden .
My father didn’t trust the men our don trusted. Neither did I. Everyone in the family was beginning to notice the tension between Patrick and the don. Not everyone was on board with the way the don had been handling things lately.
Change was coming. And I was ready for it. I was ready for the next generation to step into power. Soon, I’d be able to make the changes I wanted to my business. I was confident I could steer our company in a legitimate direction in time.
Just as I was confident that I could protect Stefanie and her daughter. First, I needed to get rid of this Clark problem. As soon as I got the information I needed, I was going to put an end to this. There was no point in waiting to see what the police did.
By the time the police were done investigating, Scott would be buried and rotting. I relaxed against my seat again and closed my eyes, taking a moment to clear my head of all the chaos. All day, I’d resisted going online to look at Stefanie’s social media accounts.
I’d done good so far. I think I deserved a treat. When I opened my eyes, I pulled up Stefanie’s social media. I smiled when I saw her new post. It was a picture of the flowers I’d given her.
They were on the center of her table, and I knew it was her table because she’d posted pictures of her kitchen online before. The caption read: My favorite flowers! Those three words made me smile even harder.
They were her favorite flowers. I’d gotten her favorite flowers. I stood up, excitement coursing through me as I stared down at the picture. I double-clicked on the picture to love it. I wanted her to know I’d seen the post and that it had made me happy.
My phone rang. The work phone. It was time to get to work. I sat back down. What the hell had I stood up for anyway? I answered the call because our secretary, my little cousin, was a no-show today, just like yesterday. Her excuse was that there was a two-day sale at her favorite store.
Even as I worked, thoughts of Stefanie weren’t far from my mind. It was around closing time when I came up with an idea for what I wanted to send her next. It was simple yet thoughtful.
I hoped she liked it just as much as she liked my flowers. And I hope it made her smile. Because she’d already made me smile today. Her post had brightened up my gloomy day. That was part of the reason I was convinced she was meant to be mine.
Because even when we were apart, knowing she was happy made me happy.
***
S TEFANIE
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T ODAY, I LEARNED AN important life lesson. These jobs don’t give a damn about you! Even if I was reluctant about leaving before, sort of nervous, slightly going crazy wondering if I’d made the right decision, I wasn’t any longer.
My boss was treating me differently now and it was all because some of the companies I was a brand ambassador for were ending their contracts with the station now that I was leaving. Because of that, he’d asked me to continue working until the end of the year.
My answer was no, thank you. He’d offered me a pay raise. I declined. And now his attitude and subtle shade were getting on my damn nerves. One month. That was all I had left. I’d planned to stay two months, just to be nice because I loved this place.
Not anymore. I quickly wrote up a new letter letting him know that my plans had changed and I would be leaving in one month. I also let him know that my replacement was almost fully trained.
Call it unprofessional or petty if you want. I called it protecting my mental health and keeping myself out of jail. I could make it one month. Thinking that way was what helped me get through my day.
However, it wasn’t only my boss who was driving me crazy. There was also Hudson. Every time he saw me, he said something to me. And I could’ve sworn I’d told that bastard not to say shit to me.
They were pushing all of my buttons and I feared I’d soon end up acting out of character. And when a black woman did that, she got labeled as an angry black woman. And then we got treated as if we were hostile or hard to work with.
But they never mentioned what led to us getting angry and becoming hostile. That anger and hostility had an origin point. However, it would be too much like right for them to actually delve deeper into why we sometimes acted out of character.
Before my father passed away a few years ago, he’d told me that his biggest regret was working his entire life and not having anything to show for it. I’d told him that he had something to show for it.
He had a family, a nice house and he’d left mom financially stable. But he’d told me those things were great, but that wasn’t what he’d meant. He told me his regret was that he hadn’t taken my mom on that dream vacation she’d always talked about.
He’d wanted to. Had tried a couple of times to put in the vacation hours he’d earned, yet his job had always insisted that they couldn’t give him that kind of time off at the moment. Or they’d say the company was too busy, and they needed him right now.
Of course, feeling obligated to do as he was told, he’d put it off for so long that he just never got around to it. He said he regretted not using up his vacation hours for small things like just staying home with my mom.
He regretted not being able to spend more time with me when I was younger because he was too busy working. He’d given his all to the job and what was left after his shift ended to his family. And though I thought he’d done a great job, he felt he could’ve done more.
After giving years to a company that claimed they needed him, the moment he got cancer and couldn’t work the way he used to, suddenly, he was replaceable. Suddenly, he wasn’t needed.
And after years of being with one company, what did they do for him when he could no longer make money for them? They sent him a fruit basket and a get-well card, and that was the extent of it.
He’d worked most of his life for a company that hadn’t given a damn about him. That was what he regretted. He’d told me not to make the same mistake. He’d told me to live my life and not just exist to make another person rich.
When I visited his grave again, I’d tell him that I now understood what he meant. I now understood the difference between living and existing. From now on, I wanted to live life with no regrets.
I would take my mom on that dream vacation for him. And I would spend more time with India. I would live my life to the fullest and not allow myself to be trapped, working myself to death to make someone else richer, someone who didn’t give two fucks about me.
The guilt I had for leaving, the uncertainty, the nervousness, that shit was long gone. And all my colleagues had to do was look at me to see that I no longer had any fucks left to give. That’s probably why most of them were avoiding me.
I didn’t give a fuck. I was exhausted and ready to go. We’d just wrapped up filming a segment about last year’s hurricane season and the predictions for the upcoming season. My throat was dry, and I was ready to go home, peel off these heels, and eat something fried and something sugary.
I was in my office, grabbing my things, thinking about what leftovers I had in the fridge when the door opened. Hudson stepped in and shut it behind him. The lock clicked. Why me? Why did I have to deal with shit like this?
“Can I help you with something?” I asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in my voice.
He didn’t answer right away.
“Hudson?”
“Mark says he talked to you and you still haven’t changed your mind about leaving.”
I paused, blinked, then looked back down at my desk and slid my laptop into my bag.
“What does my conversation with the boss have to do with you?” I asked.
He sighed, his jaw tightening like he was trying to rein in his anger. I didn’t like that look. I didn’t like that he’d closed the door either. My hand slid into my purse, my thumb finding the small bottle of pepper spray clipped to my keychain. I turned the nozzle to open.
“Can you please move?” I said. “I need to get home.”
“Why? Do you have plans?”
I looked up at him, blinked once, and then bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from going off. Getting arrested at work wasn’t part of my evening plans.
“Hudson, don’t you think you’ve been a bit much lately?”
“A bit much?” he echoed. “You think I’m being a bit much?”
I didn’t answer.
“What I think is a bit much is that you seem to forget it was me who supported you back when your husband died. When people here were whispering behind your back about how quickly you went on maternity leave after his death. Some even said...”
“Stop.” My voice was low, and I hated the pain I heard in that one word.
But he didn’t stop.
“What you don’t know,” he kept going. “Is that those people who talked about you got fired soon after they made those comments. I made that happen,” he yelled, pointing at his chest. “For you. I made that happen for you so that when you returned, you wouldn’t have to deal with their bullshit. I made sure they understood that if they kept talking about you, they’d never work in this industry again. I did that for you.”
“No,” I said, my voice shaking with restrained rage. “You did that for you .”
He frowned, confused. “What makes you say that?”
“Hudson, I appreciated your help back then. I was a young mom who’d just lost her husband. I was barely surviving. And yeah, I know you helped silence those rumors. But let’s not pretend you did it out of the goodness of your heart. You did it because you wanted me. And you couldn’t be with the woman everyone was whispering about because that would make you look bad and your father wouldn’t be happy with that.”
I stepped forward now, the pepper spray still in my hand.
“And my India thinks you’re this amazing guy because I never told her the truth. I never told her that you , just weeks after her father died, suggested I consider putting her up for adoption.”
His face paled. “That was only because...”
“Don’t,” I snapped. “Don’t finish that sentence. Everything you do is for yourself. So spare me the speech about all the favors and good deeds. You’ve never done a damn thing for anyone unless it benefited you in the end. Now move. I want to be away from this place, away from you.”
Hurt flashed in his eyes. But the look quickly turned to anger and wounded pride.
“What if I don’t?” he asked.
I raised the bottle of pepper spray, finger hovering over the trigger. His eyes widened.
“If you have to explain to the cops why your eyes are burning, rumors will start about us. Some may even say you hurt me, so I had to defend myself. You and I both know your dad would hate that, and you always do what Daddy asks of you. Right?”
His nostrils flared. “When did you become such a bitch?”
I smiled. “I’ve always been one. You were just too much of a bigger bitch to notice.”
He stepped forward.
I shook the bottle. “One push and your entire career’s ruined because I will make sure the police know I felt threatened for my life.”
He clenched his jaw so hard I thought his teeth might crack.
“You know your husband was planning on leaving you before he had his accident, don’t you?” Hudson drawled, twisting the knife that had been permanently embedded in my heart for seventeen years.
My entire body trembled as I tried to keep myself from falling apart.
“He left, Stefanie. I didn’t. I bought diapers, formula, and toys for India when you were going through a rough patch before the insurance was finally paid out. Even my parents give her presents every year for Christmas. My mother was so proud of her for graduating early and getting into the nursing program. My family has been there for you because they know how I feel about you. Seventeen years,” he whispered. “For seventeen years, I’ve waited. And there was a period when I thought it was finally our time to be together. But you ended it as quickly as it began with some bullshit excuse that we just weren’t a good match. Do you really think I’m going to let you go after wanting you for seventeen fucking years?” he yelled.
“You’ve been in serious relationships over the years. You could’ve married any of those women and...”
“How could I marry anyone when my heart belonged to the girl who showed up here years ago looking ready to take on the world? You were so young, so beautiful. And I made up my mind then and there that I needed to be with you. You and India are a part of my life. We have a history. I can’t let you go. I won’t let you go.”
With that said, he turned, unlocked the door, and walked out without another word. I stood there, still holding the spray, my chest heaving. Tears stung my eyes, but I didn’t let them fall. This place used to feel like my second home.
Hudson used to be a friend I trusted, his family a rock that helped me through a tough time. But now, this place felt like a cage. And Hudson made me feel like I owed him and his family a debt I could never repay.
Him and this place were a reminder of everything I’d endured. Of every wrong choice I’d made that I was still carrying the guilt and shame for. I couldn’t wait to walk out those doors for good. I was beyond done with this place and with him.
And I was done carrying the guilt and shame of my past!