Chapter 34
Chapter Thirty-Four
IVY
I was numb. Or maybe I felt too much. It didn’t really matter because nothing would ever be the same.
My mood was gloomy which wasn’t helping the affairs of my heart.
My eyes strayed to the sky and I hated that the usual gray, dreary English weather refused to cooperate today. I would prefer anything that would spare me from the blue.
The past twenty-four hours were dominated by my broken heartbeats, sending a raw ache through my chest. Everything seemed surreal. My best friend killed my father. The fact that Juliette could even do something like that—kill in cold blood—flabbergasted me. Now that I’d gotten some space and time to think about it, I couldn’t stop my mind. Juliette wasn’t who I thought she was. I questioned every word she’d ever spoken to me, everything she’d ever done. I kept thinking I would wake up and it would all be a bad dream, but I never did.
And my husband had kept it from me.
My vision blurred, the shimmer of the sun against the lush green grass contrasting my gloomy mood. But no tears came.
My brothers hadn’t said a peep about my husband or friend, only exchanging worried glances whenever they thought I wasn’t looking. They didn’t try to tell me lies or feed me platitudes. Their motto was usually keeping things from me, accustomed to their idea of protecting me. After all, it was how I learned of Sofia and my twin sisters.
Instead, they let me sit in silence, staring at the beautiful landscape and deceiving weather that invited me to go outside. But I didn’t. It was all deceitful, just like they were.
“You should get away from the window,” Aemon urged. “You’ll catch a cold.”
“In a moment,” I said. My voice sounded strange to my ears.
“Ivy, you can’t keep—” Aemon broke off with a grunt when Bren punched him in the stomach.
“It’s okay, sis. You do what you need to get over that douchebag and move on. You deserve so much more than that fucker. And we’ll ensure the DiLustros and Juliette pay for what they’ve done.”
All my pent-up emotions from the past twenty-four hours burst forth, and I was swept up in a tsunami of hurt, anger, and betrayal, but most of all heartbreak. I let it all wash over me and broke down into sobs. I cried until my eyes burned and my body ached.
Somehow, I found myself crying into my brothers’ chests, all three of them wrapped around me in a protective cocoon.
Juliette lied to me. Christian lied by omission. For fucking months .
I’d lost a best friend and the love of my life in one fell swoop.
I knew I’d never be the same.
I finally depleted all my tears. After the grueling journey from Montenegro to Ireland, I had little left in my tank.
Two weeks had gone by since I walked away, and this ache in my chest refused to ease. Juliette had been blowing up my phone with messages and calls. I ignored them all. The news traveled fast because it didn’t take long for Davina and Wynter to follow suit, but I ignored their calls too.
And soon a string of emails, voicemails, and messages followed through. It was all the same though. They gave excuses and reasons why I should see the reason and forgive my best friend and husband.
But there had been nothing but silence from Christian, making my chest feel like it had been ripped out. It wasn’t that I would have forgiven him, but maybe everything about us had been a lie.
My phone pinged on the table, but I ignored it. I didn’t want to deal with anything in my empty-headed state. The sense of loss I could deal with. The betrayal, I couldn’t. Ironically enough, Athair’s betrayal didn’t sting as much as my husband’s and best friend’s.
Instead of dealing with it, I avoided the world around me and lost myself in the Murphy library, rereading my old favorite thrillers and steering clear of anything romance-adjacent.
The cacophony of stomping boots and whispered voices came from another room, signaling my brothers were approaching. Great . I was thankful I had my brothers’ support, but I needed space. Time. Answers.
If only I wasn’t so afraid of them.
“Look what I found,” Caelan announced when he stepped through the open door.
He grinned at me where I was cuddled up near the crackling fireplace, nothing but leather-bound books surrounding us. This used to be our parents’ favorite room in the house and all of us had always gravitated to it when we were troubled. The only thing missing was Cobra, who I yearned for with a fierceness I hadn’t expected.
No sooner had Caelan walked in than my other two brothers followed, wide grins splitting their cheeks.
My brow furrowed at their appearance.
Caelan looked downright ridiculous with a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a bowl of ice cream in the other, a set of rubbery pink eyes stuck haphazardly on his cheeks. Aemon and Bren weren’t far off, although their grumbling expressions offset the apparent spa-night accessories.
My brothers tried their best to put on happy faces around me, but I heard their whispers and saw their sidelong glances. They were worried. Really worried. And then there was their fury: at Juliette and at the DiLustros.
“We need to talk,” I said, folding my legs under me. My brothers exchanged glances before returning to stare at me with concern scrawled all over their faces. “First, what in the hell are you wearing?”
Bren slapped a hand to his face, pulling off the ridiculous pink sleeping mask and shaking his head. “I told you this was stupid,” he grumbled.
“Pink makes girls happy,” Caelan muttered. “I read that somewhere. Pajama parties, bubble baths, junk food, and chick flicks are how girls get over a breakup.”
“And you’re a fucking expert, right?” Aemon followed suit, tossing his mask on a nearby desk. “I should beat your ass for making me wear that shit.”
Caelan rolled his eyes. “You can give it your best shot.”
“I should just smother you both so you’ll shut the fuck up,” Bren grumbled. “This is about Ivy, remember?”
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I’d been seeing a therapist to help me talk things through, although I was starting to think that maybe a talk right now wasn’t the best idea. There was nothing I wanted more than to seek oblivion in sleep. If only I’d stop dreaming about him . Maybe lying in the dark and listening to a sad-girl playlist was the answer.
I stood up, but before I could make a single step, Aemon came up to me. “Nope. You’re not running off and hiding in your bedroom.”
Bren nodded. “You wanted to talk, and we think that’s a great idea.”
They sat down, Bren and Caelan taking the sofa that protested under their weight and Aemon the leather recliner.
Resigned, I settled in and met my brothers’ determined gazes.
“Okay, now let’s talk,” Bren demanded.
I didn’t know where to start. Truthfully, I wasn’t even sure where all this would end either. Sometimes oblivion was a blessed state, but I couldn’t bury my head in the sand anymore.
“Athair had an affair with Sofia Volkov,” I began, taking a deep breath and meeting their eyes one by one. “And I know it went on long enough to produce twin daughters, who are now adults and around my age.”
The oxygen in the room thinned, every breath was downright painful.
Aemon’s shoulders tensed and he shared a glance with our brothers before meeting my eyes. “How do you know?”
I rolled my eyes. “I overheard you two talking.”
“I didn’t want you learning that about Athair.” Aemon’s face softened a smidge. “You idolized him so much.”
I shook my head. “You all have to stop shielding me. I’m sick and tired of being treated with delicate gloves. After all, I didn’t lose my shit when I learned about Sofia Volkov, did I?” My brothers seemed stunned into silence. “Now, tell me what you know.”
“I don’t know much. Just that the twins are older than you.” My eyes shot to Aemon, and for the first time in weeks, I spotted fatigue in his expression. “They’re a few years older than you.”
“Alive?”
“One is,” Bren answered.
“At least we think so,” Caelan chimed in.
“It turns out Lilith, the woman we just met…” Bren started, and my mind traveled back to that fateful day when I learned of the betrayal and the strange group that consisted of Kingston, Alexei, and a woman who were rescuing trafficked women. “She’s one of Athair’s twin daughters, her name is Louisa.”
I waited for the pain to come. And waited some more. Maybe I was too numb for it.
“I thought she said her name was Lilith.”
Caelan let out an exasperated breath at the same time Bren grumbled, “Well, obviously she lied. No daughter of Sofia Volkov can be trusted.”
I raised a skeptical brow. “You all lied too. Are you telling me none of you can be trusted?”
Aemon smacked Bren on the head and hissed, “Stop talking, you fool.”
“I’d rather wear a pink onesie and a sleeping mask than sit here with you two talking buffoons,” Caelan muttered, his warm eyes settling on me. “Listen, Ivy. It’s as good a time as any for you to learn that men are idiots. Athair loved us, but if you’re looking for answers as to why he strayed, you’ll never know peace. That shit happens in this world.”
He was right. Even mistresses were cheated on. I was naive to think Athair would be different, regardless of how attentive and caring he was toward Mama and us kids. Of course, had I understood who Sofia Volkov was when I met her, I would’ve put it all together a lot sooner.
“I know.” I twisted my wrist nervously. “A memory came back to me when I overheard you three whispering about Sofia Volkov.”
Bren shot Caelan a glare. “See? You’re a talking buffoon too.”
“You three really need to grow up,” I said tiredly. “Stay focused so I can tell you what I know. I expect you to tell me the same.” Aemon opened his mouth to protest and I raised my palm, silencing him. “I’m not asking for your business contacts and offshore bank account details. I just want to know about our family’s fuckups.”
Caelan snickered. “Well, men. You heard her.”
Aemon shook his head. “Okay, little princess. Tell us what you remembered so we can air out Athair’s dirty little secrets.”
My life seemed to revolve around dirty little secrets, but now was not the time to ponder on that.
“I was maybe five,” I started. “Athair took me with him to some docks. I got scared because there were kids there. Some were crying, others were hurt. He met with Sofia, and they mentioned the twins.” I recounted the entire conversation, at least the way I remembered it, while my brothers listened. “He made me promise it was our secret, and honestly, by the next day, I’d forgotten.”
Aemon muttered a curse, and Bren and Caelan didn’t look any more pleased.
“Athair went too far,” Aemon finally said. “Taking you there. He put you at risk.”
I shrugged. “It’s in the past now. The fact is we have two siblings out there?—”
“They’re not our family,” Bren spat bitterly.
“They didn’t ask to be put in this situation any more than we did,” I protested. “We owe it to them to at least meet. If they don’t support Sofia and her twisted business, I want to have them in my life. If they’ll have me as their sister.”
They reacted as predicted. Bren’s scowl was deep, Caelan looked lost in thought, and Aemon kept his face a blank mask, giving nothing away.
When the silence stretched like a rubber band, I was the one to snap first. “Well, is anyone going to say anything?”
“I can reach out and coordinate a meeting with Kingston and the twin, whichever one’s alive,” Aemon finally said.
“How did the other twin die?” I asked, grief striking at the loss of a sister I never got the chance to meet.
“Not sure,” Bren answered. “Not much is known about them, and the only information we could gather was on the one twin. Lilith, as she calls herself. Her real name is Louisa. Her twin’s name is… was Liana.”
“We should reach out to her,” I suggested. “Try and make amends. Athair should have been there for them. Who knows what it would’ve been like to grow up under the care of Sofia Volkov.” I shuddered just thinking of the horrors.
“And what if it’s too late for her?” Aemon challenged, and I heard the unspoken words. What if she’s a monster like her mother ?
I bit the inside of my cheek, then quickly shook my head. “I don’t think so. If she was, Alexei Nikolaev would have ended her.”
“Or Kingston Ashford,” Caelan added.
We shared glances, determination on our faces. “Then it’s set,” I said, ready to wrap things up. “We’ll arrange a meeting.”
“Not so fast, sister.” Aemon sat back and crossed his arms, and I shot him a confused look. “We have to talk about your husband and your friend.”
That stinging in my eyes was back, but still no tears. Maybe there were only so many allowed in a lifetime and I’d spent all mine. I dragged in a deep breath and steeled myself for what was to come. Christian didn’t deserve my time and energy after the hurtful betrayal and lies, nor did Juliette.
If only my heart was on the same page.
“What about them?” My voice was surprisingly steady.
“We can’t let them get away with what they did,” Aemon stated matter-of-factly. “She killed Athair, and he…” His fists clenched and unclenched as if picturing beating Christian up. “He hurt you. You barely sleep, barely eat. All you do is stare into space. I should kill them.”
My brothers were pains in the ass sometimes, but I still loved them. Still, that didn’t mean they could go around killing people. Not to mention the mafia war it would start.
“I told you what I remembered of Athair’s meeting with Sofia Volkov.” I swallowed, unsure why I would even bother defending Juliette. These days she was the bane of my existence, every message received causing my insides to blaze like hellfire. I shoved the feelings somewhere deep and dark, hoping it’d cool off. “It’s obvious he had something to do with the death of her birth parents.”
Caelan leaned forward, his brow wrinkling as he studied me. “And what’s your scumbag husband’s excuse for lying to you?”
He wasn’t wrong. He had a choice, and he opted to lie and shove the blame onto Sofia Volkov. The woman was a far cry from innocent, but she didn’t murder our father.
What stung the most was that he took Dante and Juliette’s side but kept me in the dark. It was obvious that whatever Christian’s feelings were toward me, they weren’t strong enough to stick by me through thick and thin.
Maybe it’s for the best , I tried to comfort myself. At least I learned it early on rather than ten years down the road. There were no children involved—a thought that brought me almost as much comfort as it did pain.
“So your husband is fair game,” Bren stated calmly, and my spine straightened.
“No.” The word shot out of me like a bullet while my heart raced in my chest with images of a dead Christian. No, I couldn’t live with that. “None of you will kill him. Understood?”
They shared glances, not saying a word, then nodded.
“Noted,” Aemon said. “We won’t kill him, we’ll just make him hurt a bit.”
I stood up, tsking. “ Do not kill him.” I handed out pointed looks, then headed for the door when a thought occurred to me and I stopped, throwing a glance over my shoulder. “But I would like my dog back.”