Chapter 46
Chapter Forty-Six
Naomi
T he last thing I ever want to do is leave this man sleeping in bed, but I have to. He needs to rest for his shift in a few hours, and I have an important conversation looming over my head.
I creep out to Sam’s golf cart and click the key, navigating out to the main road and toward the resort. Toward my brother’s house.
I find him making coffee alone in the kitchen. “Morning.”
He raises his eyebrows but pulls another cup from the cupboard and fills them both. I watch with a smile as he adds two spoonfuls of brown sugar and a half inch of cream to mine. When he finally speaks, the tone of his voice takes me by surprise.
“I almost came looking for you, but Reina convinced me to wait for you to be ready and come to me.” The tenderness in his words is reflected in his eyes.
If I didn’t know better, I’d say this man had been crying.
My guard is so confused, all I can do is fall back on old habits and apologize for having done nothing wrong. “Sorry. I could have called, I was just busy with other things.”
His face twists into a wry smile. “Busy with other things could be the title of our entire relationship.”
I take the cup from him in silence, no idea what to say to that.
“Want to sit out on the patio?”
I nod and follow him out to the expansive deck overlooking the resort and the teal blue ocean, glittering in the early morning sun.
“You really are the king up here, huh?”
I mean it as a joke to lighten up the mood, but when Dom doesn’t answer, I feel the need to apologize once more. “Sorry, I?—”
“No. I know what you mean. You’re not the first person to have made that observation.”
His tone is unreadable, and I shift uncomfortably, like a child about to get in trouble. What is it about this man that does this to me? Probably a lifetime of history. And his resemblance to my father, who only spoke to me when I was in trouble.
“Sit,” he says, motioning to the chairs next to his on the deck, facing out over the unobstructed view.
I obey, crossing my legs and taking a sip of the delicious coffee. “Dang, this is really good.”
“I can order you a machine like I have, if you want.”
I smile over at him, hearing his words for what they are. An attempt at a truce.
I open my mouth to let him off the hook, but he stops me.
“Let me start, okay?” He doesn’t wait for my permission before going on, looking out over the ocean instead of at me. “I talked with Sam, but I’m sure you know that already. He…I…”
He breaks off in uncharacteristic hesitation, shifting in his seat to face me. “I’m sorry for how all of this went down. I’m sorry that I haven't been there for you all these years. I had so many reasons and excuses planned for when we finally talked, but they all sound so stupid now. I just…I just lost a lot when she died. I was a kid and Mom was my entire world. You didn’t get to know her, which sucks, but I did. Twelve years is almost an entire childhood. She was the center of my universe and to have her sucked away so suddenly, it really affected me. I know it wasn’t your fault, but she was gone, and you were there instead, and I wasn’t able to ever separate the two things. It was all made worse by the fact that without her there, Dad turned all his focus on me. When she was alive, she shielded me from the brunt of it, mostly, or maybe I was too young for him to bother with. But once he lost her, turning me into the man he wanted became his only goal in life.”
He pauses for so long that it feels right to say something, so I do. “I’m not sure if that was worse than being ignored completely.”
Dom meets my gaze. “I don’t know either. I know that back then, I would have given anything to be left alone completely. I was jealous of the freedom you had. But the loneliness must have been hard as well. It’s not like there were many other options out there.”
I shrug. “I didn’t really know any different.”
We fall into silence for a few moments. When he finally speaks, it’s to offer something I dreamed of hearing my whole life—a glimpse into the family I never had. I should have known it wouldn’t be a fairy tale, considering how it all ended.
“They never really got along. No, I guess that’s not right. It was more like we hid from him. Mom and I would spend whole evenings tucked away in giant closets upstairs when he would get into his moods, which I understand now meant he was drunk. She spent her life avoiding him as much as possible. I don’t know why she never left. Maybe it was impossible. I’m sure it would have been very difficult, considering he was the one with the fortune. She came from a local family, her parents had been killed in her late teens. Car accident. If I could go back, I’d ask her why she married him. I would give anything to know the story of how it all started.”
He looks out at the view. “I was too young to know to ask those kinds of things. When she got pregnant again, things got better. Dad was the happiest I ever remember seeing him. We went on family outings and had meals together. He was a changed person. I remember him smiling, kissing her belly. They would laugh and talk. It was the first time in my life I felt like I had parents, rather than just me and mom hiding from the scary monster. When it was time for you to come, I was sent away to stay with Ben’s family. And I never saw her again.”
The casket had been closed. I know that from pictures in the local paper I’d found at the library years later.
“What happened?”
He sighs. “I’m not sure. I doubt we’ll ever know. They had private doctors. The birth was at the estate. There’s no record of what went wrong or how long she was alive after you were born. I suppose it could have been complications, like we were all told. But I just don’t know. She was young, healthy.”
I’m crying now, wiping tears with the crook of my arm. Dom glances over at me and nods. He’s not shedding tears, but I can see the emotion raging in his eyes.
“When I was finally allowed to come home, he told me she was gone and that we had another girl to deal with. Those were his words. The anger was back. The monster was back. He was drunk all the time, and she wasn’t there to help me hide. I couldn’t have hidden you anyway. You had nurses and nannies. A whole team of women who kept you tucked away in your own wing of the house. They must have known about him. But I didn’t know that. I only knew what he told me, which was that you had taken her from us. That she was the only person he’d ever loved and now she was gone. I wasn't too young to understand what that would mean for you. So I took him on. I made a decision right then, two weeks before my thirteenth birthday. I became a man and stepped into his world. Let him have me. And it worked. I saved you from him, but I lost you in the process. And I wanted you to be born. I wanted a sister. And I want you here now. I’m glad you were born even though I fucked it all up.”
Anger and sadness burn through me as I try to process his words. The longing for the life we could have had is almost too much to bear.
I know the next part, but I let him tell it anyway.
“I graduated with my MBA, fulfilling my part of the contract for the trust. I was free. With that money, I never had to kneel to him again. I asked you to come with me.”
“I hated you.”
His shoulders slump. “I know. Somehow I thought that, even after all those years of ignoring you, you’d understand that I was doing it to protect you and run to my car with your suitcase and we would escape together. I had these dreams of hopping on a plane and flying somewhere he could never find us.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Young and stupid, I guess. But you weren’t a kid anymore. You were going on fifteen, with a life you made all by yourself and opinions and ideas. In my escape fantasies, you were always a little thing, looking up to me like I was your savior.”
“You could have been.”
“I know. And I live with that regret every day. But there’s no way to know if it really would have been better for you. It’s not like I turned out to be the nicest guy on the planet. Who’s to say if living with me while I traveled the world and worked eighty hours a week would have been much different. The only thing that definitely would have changed is that you’d have left everything you knew behind. So, when you refused to even consider coming with me, I left you there. And you did the same thing you’d done your whole life. Survived on your own.”
He turns back to me, sad eyes and sad smile. “And you did a pretty good job, all things considered.”
“I’m not looking for your approval.”
“Yeah, I get that. And you don’t need it, either. But just know that I’ve thought about you a lot over the years, even after I left town. Especially after I left. And it may have seemed like I didn’t care, but it’s the opposite. I cared so much, but the only way I’d been taught to keep people safe was to hide when things got bad.”
“Well, I learned to take care of myself and not take any shit from anyone.”
Dom laughs and shakes his head. “See? You were better off without me. You are one of the strongest women I know. I’m proud of who you became even if I have no right to be.”
It’s my turn to shake my head, salty cheeks finally drying in the sun. “Why are you telling me all this?”
“When Sam told me that you guys had been sneaking around because you were afraid I’d be pissed, I kind of lost it. It was my whole childhood thrown back in my face. Something great was happening between two people who I love, and they were afraid to tell me because I’m such an asshole. Sam was afraid of retaliation. From me. His best friend.”
Dom’s voice cracks a bit and I peek over to see if I can spot my first ever big brother tear. No luck.
“I turned into dad after all.”
“No. That’s not it. You aren’t him. Or, at least, you aren’t him yet. You still have a functioning heart. I see it when Reina is around. You can still pull yourself back from turning into him.”
“And I’m going to. I guess I needed to see myself reflected like this to really get it. But I get it now. It’s a slippery slope to decide that you know best and everyone needs to follow your rules. I guess that’s how I did so well in restaurants. It’s like the military in there, a strong leader is essential. But I learned a few years back that I still need to let people in. Let them share in my life and what’s going on with me. I almost lost Reina because I was so slow to come around. And the same goes here. I’m stubborn and pigheaded but I’m learning. I’m not going to lose you or Sam over this. I’m going to do whatever it takes to be the person you both need me to be. Always.”
“Thanks, Dom. I appreciate knowing all this. It’s a side of you I didn’t know existed.”
“Well, I’m new to showing it off. I thought for a long time that it made me weak. I was told growing up that it made me weak. But I know now that vulnerability is the true strength. Even if I still forget sometimes.”
“Dad’s going to freak when he realizes we’re a team. Pitting us against each other has always been his best control strategy.”
Dom’s head turns sharply in my direction. “Team, huh?”
His words are simple, but his tone is telling. If I didn’t know him so well, I might have missed the underlying emotion in the question, but it’s there.
I smile over at him, happy to have finally broken through his gruff exterior. “If you’ll have me.”
He huffs and smiles. “We would be a force to be reckoned with.”
“Unstoppable.”
He folds his arms and cocks his head at me. “Speaking of which, you’re getting awfully close to accessing your trust. Any big plans? ”
I shake my head. “My big plans are here on Faraday. In a little room in the jungle. Maybe a small Wi-Fi upgrade, but that’s about it for now.”
Dom actually laughs at that. “That damn property. He won’t give it up, even with all the trouble it’s caused him.”
“It’s a point of contention.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You know? You know that he feels like he’s less than you guys and is always trying to find ways to prove he’s good enough? Why don’t you do something about it?”
Dom shrugs. “What can I do? He feels that way despite all of us reassuring him that he’s an important part of the team, the most important part if we’re being serious. That’s his own demon to battle. Nothing I can do is going to change any of it.”
“You could sign over his part of the resort to him.”
He looks over at me sharply. “What do you mean?”
“Sam told me that you paid his share. That he isn’t a partner at all, that I’m more of an owner than he is because all the money came from the Fuentes fortune.”
“Shit.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s not true. Or, at least, it’s not entirely true.” He lets out a heavy sigh. “I’ll look into it. I never paid that much attention to the paperwork. Ben handled it all. But if Sam thinks that, he must have seen something in those contracts that I didn’t.”
I watch as his forehead crinkles and his eyes fall closed. “I wish he would have said something sooner.”
“It seems you’re not the only one with communication skills to work on.” I get a bit of side eye from Dom and smile. “I guess we all have something.”
“So you’re staying on the island.”
I nod.
“Well, if you need a place to stay, your room is always open. Or we could get you an apartment or a house or something. You know, if it’s too soon for you to live in shanty town with Sam.”
“You can’t call it that,” I say with a laugh.
Dom laughs, too. “I know. Bad habit. But seriously, let me know. And if you want a job…”
I smile and shake my head. “The job at The Sands isn’t what I’m looking for, but I am going to start working with Fran on weddings.”
He smiles. “She’ll be happy to hear that.”
We fall into a comfortable silence, both looking out over the gorgeous view, sipping our now cold coffee.
I start to hear noises from inside the house and feel our sibling time coming to an end. “Dom?”
He looks over at me. “Hmm?”
“I’m glad to have you now. Even though we missed a lot of years. I’m happy we made it here.”
“It’s not too late?”
The sadness in his voice hits me right in the gut. I know we still have a lot to work through after this conversation, but I know I have my brother now, and it feels good.
“No, it’s not too late.”