Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
THEA
The week came and went in a blurry mess of emotions: emptiness, anger, repulsion, excitement, fear, lust, and more.
Fortunately, I had work to keep me busy up until this morning.
Now, I’m waiting for Nathan to finish getting his affairs in order so we can make the day trip to Norfolk and back.
Claire opted to join us, even though what she really wanted to do was stay here by herself, but it’s evident Nathan’s trust doesn’t stretch that far yet.
I empathize with her, but I don’t exactly blame him either given the circumstances.
When we recommended staying with Fletcher and Dylan for the day, she visibly bristled.
Apparently, her trust in people is also limited.
We woke up early so that we wouldn’t get back too late, but at this rate, I’m starting to wonder if the early wake up was worth it with how long it’s taking Nathan to get his shit together.
Just as I’m about to stomp down the hallway and knock on his bedroom door, he emerges and slings a duffle bag over his shoulder.
Claire has been waiting patiently at the kitchen island, one of my books open in front of her—some young adult fantasy I haven’t had the chance to read myself.
I offered it to her, hoping she’d accept the olive branch.
She might not have said anything when she took it, but I still consider it a win.
She doesn’t have a cell phone, only an old iPod that Nathan gave her when she got here.
Again, that thing about trust? It’s not complete yet.
“Why do you look like you’ve packed for a weekend away?
” I cross my arms as he approaches me, throwing the bag at my feet.
He only lifts an eyebrow at me in response. “Always better to be over prepared than underprepared. You never know when plans are going to fall through. I threw an extra outfit and pajamas in for you and Claire.”
We both glare at him and I’m about to say something when Claire beats me to it. “You went through my things?”
His expression falters. “I didn’t technically go through your things when they were strewn about.”
“That’s still weird,” she says flatly. She slams the book closed with a snap and stands, grabbing her iPod off the counter with it. “Don’t touch my shit.”
Nathan opens his mouth, but I shoot him a look to shut him down. Instead, he mumbles when Claire strides past him and out the front door. “Language…”
She lingers for a second, adjusting her sleeves as she looks at us as if asking if we’re coming.
I give her a small smile, but this one I hope conveys the fact that I get it, and she gives me a small nod in return.
Some of the color has returned to her skin since Nathan brought her here.
Her hair doesn’t have as dull a sheen as it did, either; the dirty blonde, nearly brown strands hold new life now that she’s been taking care of it regularly.
Her eyes aren’t as muddy and the brown seems brighter.
Even if she hasn’t spoken much to us, she seems to be making progress and that’s all that matters.
Once she’s out the door, Nathan unlocks his car so she can climb in while we both linger.
“You could’ve just asked her, probably should’ve.
” I try not to make my tone accusatory, but a lot of Claire’s attitude right now is based on her ability to feel comfortable around us, and anybody going through her things is likely seen as an invasion of privacy. Especially a male.
Almost as if he knows what I didn’t say, he says, “I was just trying to be helpful.”
“And I know that, but she likely doesn’t. She doesn’t know how these things work…She’s having to relearn what normal is.” I sigh.
We walk out of the front door, and he locks it behind him, enabling the security system first. Something I didn’t notice until recently. “And what about you? Do you understand that I was trying to be helpful?”
I’d like to pretend that it bothers me, too, but his heart was in the right place. I’m glad that he has the inclination to think ahead like this. “I do.”
He flashes me a panty dropping grin and my heart flutters.
Those flutters quickly turn into scorching need as he leans in, his mouth hovering by my ear.
“Good. Because it gave me the opportunity to go through your underwear drawer and…realize that I have no idea what your favorite pair is. So I just grabbed the sexiest ones I could find.”
I suddenly choke on air. “What?”
He’s already walking to his car, leaving me standing on the sidewalk, flustered.
He knows how impossible he’s making this for me and he knows it.
Dragging my feet, I pop in the passenger seat a few seconds later and keep my gaze averted from his, cheeks flaming as I feel his eyes on me.
Claire sits in the back, curled against the door, earphones in, and book open on her lap as she tunes us out. “Let’s get this over with, yeah?”
A few hours into the drive, Claire has drifted off to sleep, her book forgotten where it’s fallen on the seat next to her, and Nathan and I haven’t spoken much aside from minor details relating to the trip.
“How is your new job?” he asks, breaking the silence.
“It’s okay. Easy. It’s nice to have something to do with my hands.” Instead of twiddling my thumbs all day.
But clearly his mind went somewhere else entirely as he coughs and clears his throat, trying and failing to hide the flush that’s climbing up his neck. If we were together, which we’re not, I can only imagine what his response would’ve been. I roll my eyes and wait for him to compose himself.
Slowly, he nods. “I can understand that. Why flowers?”
“Why not? They’re easier to be around than people.”
He huffs. “Don’t you have to be around people anyway? You know, when they’re buying the flowers?”
I shrug. “Sure, but it doesn’t feel like other areas of customer service. I feel like people who enjoy being around flowers have something in common with the flowers themselves.”
He passes a vehicle on the interstate. “What do you mean?”
I pause for a moment as I think about my response to him.
“Think of every flower as a human life. A lot of people think that they just need water to survive, just like they think all humans need are food and water to do the same. But the reality is that to thrive they need the right ratios of care, attention, and space to grow. Some require different soils, different amounts of water, sunlight, and certain environments otherwise they wither away. Just like people; we need love, connection, positive conditions, and independence otherwise our purpose is…limited. The only difference is that flowers can’t talk back. ”
He laughs at that. Really, truly laughs, and the sound is full-bodied and resonant.
I would do anything to hear more of it. “I suppose that’s fair.
I like the way you look at things, Thea.
” And the way he says my name…it slides down my spine like a glass of smooth whiskey, leaving a slight burn in its wake that settles between my legs. “And you’re happy with it?”
“So far, so good. Why do you ask?”
Claire shifts in the seat behind us before he continues. “Because you deserve nothing less. And when I asked you why you were looking for a job the first time, what I really wanted to say was that you didn’t have to if you really didn’t want to.”
“And while I appreciate that, it was like I said—I can’t just continue to live off of your generosity. Not to mention, I refuse to be at another man’s mercy like that ever again,” I snap, my irritation boiling over.
He must sense it because his grip tightens on the steering wheel. “Which is why I didn’t say it in the first place. I don’t want that for you, either.”
Instead of responding to him, I cross my arms and look out the window as we pass other cars and exits the closer we get to our destination. “I did want to talk to you about something else though, if you’re open to it.”
“Depends on what it is.” I glance at him in my periphery.
“You opted out of receiving any more of his health insurance even though you could’ve stayed enrolled based on what I read.”
“Is that a question or statement?”
He nibbles on his lower lip. “Both, I guess.”
“It would keep me tied to him and I don’t want it, no matter how beneficial it would be for me. Not that it matters now, everything is settled and done.” This time he sighs; in annoyance or worry, I’m not entirely sure. “What?”
“I just hate that you don’t have coverage, and you can’t exactly enroll right now since we’re a quarter way into the year.”
“It’s a good thing payment plans exist, then.”
He shakes his head, and this time I know it’s from frustration. “What, Nathan?”
“It doesn’t matter. Anything I say you’re just going to shrug off.”
My mouth drops, not used to taking that tone from him. “That’s not true.”
His eyes flicker to mine before returning to the road. “Then why do you put on this…this mask of indifference like nothing fazes you when we both know damn well it does? It pisses me off.”
Part of me wants to argue my point, but the other part of me knows he’s right. The tension between us is cut in two when Claire interrupts us. “Jesus, have you two fucked yet?”
My eyes widen as Nathan temporarily jerks the steering wheel to the side in surprise. Mortification runs through my body as I try to hold back my shocked laugh, curious to see what he’s going to say instead. “How long have you been listening?” That isn’t what I was expecting from him.
“Long enough. But this isn’t just in regard to this conversation.
I’m fifteen, not five. I pay more attention than you think I do.
It’s been like watching a car accident; you know you should look away but you can’t.
”My laughter bubbles over and Nathan shoots me a look I can’t quite decipher, but how can I not laugh at the absurdity of the situation?