Epilogue
CLAIRE
“What is all of this about?” I ask Nathan and Thea as they guide me with a blindfold on into the living room. I’ve never been a fan of surprises, but I guess that’s because the ones I’m used to receiving have been pain wrapped up in a pretty bow.
“Quiet, you’ll see in a second,” Thea hisses as she sits me down in one of the chairs.
I’ve been staying with them even though I’m pretty sure I was supposed to go into the system after the op was done.
I don’t honestly know how I’ve managed to get away with it after almost a year.
Not that I needed to go back, I’m sixteen now, but they still consider me a minor regardless.
I’m thankful, though. We’ve all gotten closer, and I feel like for the first time, I’m where I belong.
“Can I take it off yet?” I ask, getting impatient.
“Go ahead,” Nathan says, and I peel the cloth from my eyes. I’m not sure exactly what I’m supposed to be looking at, until my eyes catch on a folder on the coffee table before me.
“Open it,” Thea hands it to me.
I do as she says, and it takes me a minute to process what I’m seeing. Across the top of the first piece of paper says Adoption Application. Below that, all of my information is scrawled across the page; my name is on line after line and there are two signatures at the bottom.
“We didn’t want to tell you about it before because we know how the system can be and didn’t want to give you false hope. Didn’t want to give you something that could be taken away…” Thea trails off.
“But we finally got the approval. All we need now is to know how you feel about it,” Nathan finishes for her. “I know it might be weird, given our ages in relation to yours, but that doesn’t change anything for us. This just makes what we already know official. The only thing left…is you.”
Family. I can fill in the blanks of what they mean when they say what they already know.
A true family. My fingers tighten around the paper, crinkling the edges as something sharp rises in my throat.
I don’t know what to say because I’m worried it’ll come out wrong or I’ll say too much or not enough.
“You don’t have to answer right now,” Nathan says quickly, misreading my silence. “We just wanted you to know the option is there.”
An option. He says it like this isn’t everything, or the kind of thing that rewrites a person from their insides out. I shake my head before I can stop myself. “No, I just don’t understand.”
Thea’s expression softens. “Then ask,” she says gently.
“Why me?” The question carries years of wondering inside of it. Why did my parents choose to have me when they didn’t love me? Why did Harrison Clark target me? Why did he teach me about love, only to have been lying about what it looked like?
“Because it’s you. Because you deserve to know true happiness,” Nathan says simply, and I almost laugh because it doesn’t make sense.
“That’s not a reason,” I whisper.
Thea sits down next to me. “It is. You just haven’t been loved long enough or in the right ways to believe it yet.”
Something in me cracks as I look back down at the paper, at my name written over and over again, like I belong somewhere. “What if I mess it up?” Because I don’t know how to function in an actual functional family.
Thea shrugs. “Then you mess it up. And we’re still here.” Nathan nods. “That’s kind of the whole point.”
My vision blurs, but I don’t fight the tears as they start to fall. My thumb brushes over their signatures at the bottom of the page and I finally accept this for what it is. Two people choosing me. Continuing to choose me. So I pick up the pen.