Chapter 8 #2
So… erm… I kissed him. I could live forever without being able to explain it, but he got me so angry that I had no clue what I was doing until I did it.
With my hand on his throat, I kissed his fucking mouth, hating the day I met him.
Hating my stupid job. Hating this fucking assignment.
When my brain registered what my mouth did, I braced myself for a punch, but it never came.
I expected him to hit me, push me away, or otherwise punish me for my moment of lunacy, but nothing happened.
Actually, something happened—Jordan’s lips parted.
When his tongue found mine, it paralyzed me.
I tried to stop myself from taking it further, but he tasted fucking amazing.
Indescribable, really, so I sucked his tongue into my mouth, sucking that taste off him.
He moaned, probably in pain because I was rough, but I had to know.
In the back of my mind, my inner voice was screaming at me.
You’re in the shower, naked, and sucking on Jordan Slade’s tongue.
He’s naked, and he has an erection. Any moment now, the guard will come and shove a baton up your ass for doing what you’re doing.
But that taste on my tongue... I couldn’t stop, not until I figured out what it was.
Not lemon, not tangerine, not buttermilk. Not prosecco, not peaches, not—
“How about you put away your swords, inmates?” A voice filled with amusement reached me. “You haven’t earned the privilege yet. If you wanna fuck, one of you has to blow me first.”
I broke the kiss reluctantly, meeting a stunned amber gaze before looking down at my body.
It was a sight I never expected to see in my life—my erection pressed against someone else’s erection.
Dick to dick. Balls to balls. Jordan wasn’t the only one who got hard in this ludicrous moment, and it was a fact my brain struggled to process. How? Why? What the fuck is happening?
By the time my gaze returned to Jordan’s face, I was so goddamn angry that I slammed my fist into a wall next to his head. He flinched, but his eyes held mine, telling me what I already knew—you started this, motherfucker.
“Happy now?” I said through my teeth. “Is this what you wanted?”
He raised his chin in defiance but remained silent.
“Now kindly fuck off and stay away from me,” I growled, reaching for my towel. “Forever.”
Jordan
I never truly understood the meaning of the word until what happened, happened.
Silence—the deathly, creepy kind—descended upon us, between us and inside us.
We were silent when we left the shower, and we remained silent during dinner when I had to force food down my throat.
No one approached us, not even Miguel, probably sensing that shit had hit the fan.
After dinner, we returned to our cell without a word spoken.
Adam climbed onto the upper bank, I sat down on the lower, and then that silence descended upon us once again.
And in my head—mayhem. I kept wondering if I imagined the whole thing, despite my lips still being swollen.
Despite the beard burn that made parts of my face tingle.
Fucking beard burn! Either my fantasies had developed into full-blown hallucinations, or what happened really happened.
Either way, it was time for me to admit a few things.
Yes, I wanted it to happen. I also wanted it to happen again, which was the fucking worst. And yes, I wanted us to fuck.
Who would fuck whom, I had no clue. Maybe we would take fucking turns, and now I was hard again. Fuck!
After I came to terms with reality, I felt numb, pathetic, but above all else, shocked.
So, Adam kissed me, but why? Why, for the love of all that is holy, would he do that?
Yeah, I pushed his buttons because it was the second time he threw that drunken debacle in my face.
Yeah, he was short-tempered and hot-headed, and I provoked him, but…
into a kiss? Ever since we came here, he has been acting funny, but this was inexplicable.
Downright mad. It was also the best kiss of my life, and I refused to pretend that it wasn’t so.
He was rough, and I liked it rough. He kissed like a pagan, and I loved it.
He got hard, too, but I tried not to read too much into it.
Kissing was an intimate, sensual act, and getting turned on by it was only natural.
I wanted to tell him that, but my gut told me I should keep my mouth shut if I valued my teeth.
The funny thing was, if I could take it all back, I wouldn’t do it.
Fuck, no. Never. He was probably going to hate me for the rest of his life, but I was glad it happened.
I also couldn’t stay silent any longer, so I said the first wrong thing that crossed my mind.
“It wasn’t you.”
“Got it.” A bored voice informed me.
“It didn’t mean anything,” I added, further digging my own grave.
“No shit!”
He was mocking me, and I was being pathetic. Just great.
“For the record.” A deep voice above me gave me shivers. “I’m straight.”
“I know that!” I growled. “We both are, remember?”
“Yeah, I noticed.”
I swiftly straightened up, hating that I couldn’t see his face.
“Why are you being mean?”
“Because you’re being obnoxious.”
My heart stuttered in my chest before I heard a movement above me, followed by a sigh.
“I’m sorry,” Adam said, sounding remorseful. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
I dug my wrists into my eyes to stop myself from screaming as he left the bed.
When I finally looked at him, he was sitting on the floor across from me.
In the darkness, I could see the contours of his body, but not much more.
Shadows obscured his face; only his eyes flickered in the darkness like neon blue lights.
When he spoke, he somehow startled me.
“I didn’t mean what I just said. I was being an ass, and I wanted to hurt you. I apologize.”
I snorted. Still, he'd never apologized to me before, so… yeah, me?
“Are you okay?” he asked me, of all things.
“I’m fine. Confused. Mortified. All of the above.”
Adam chuckled. “Yeah, me too.”
I frowned, not knowing if he was serious. “Really?”
“Sure. I didn’t handle myself well, but I seldom do, right?”
“I’ll take a wild shot,” I said, molesting my cuticle. “But I’m guessing that wasn’t our first kiss.”
“Nope.”
“Second?”
“Yup.”
Fuck.
“I’m… I apologize,” I muttered. “I wasn’t aware—”
“You were drunk, Jordan,” Adam interrupted me. “You were drunk that night, and I was angry earlier, and we are in a fucked-up situation. Don’t beat yourself up over it. I don’t plan to.”
That flicker of hope in my chest? Just died.
Could I be any more pathetic? Probably not.
“You’re an idiot, do you know that?” Adam said, pulling me out of the cesspool of self-pity I was wallowing in.
“Pardon?”
“This,” Adam said, pointing his finger at the room around us. “This is not real.”
“Still, I would like to leave this place with a shred of dignity,” I grumbled.
“Don’t you think it’s too late for that?”
“Fuck off.”
He shook his head as if I were being unreasonable.
“The things that bother you don’t matter, Jordan.”
“How can you be so calm?” I growled, running my fingers through my hair. “Aren’t you bothered that we… You know… twice!”
Damn it. Why couldn’t I just say the damn word? Kiss. What was so difficult about that?
“You’re overthinking it, Jordan.”
“And the f-fact that we both got…” I looked away, feeling hot in the face. “That we both g-got… you know…”
“That we got hard?” Adam offered.
I opened my mouth to reply, but nothing came out. Did he really say that?
“Nothing. That. Happens. Here. Matters.” Adam’s words rang in my ears as he continued. “What’s exactly bothering you, except that you can’t control your body because we’re in an uncontrollable situation? Are you worried about popping another boner, or what?”
“Fuck, no,” I bit out.
I was so embarrassed, I wouldn’t be able to pop a boner again in this century.
I could feel his blue gaze on me… moving over my face and down my body. Sizing me up. Checking me out. Not that way. Or maybe it was that way. Hell, I couldn’t tell.
“So, you don’t want to do it again?” he asked me.
My head shot up as I looked at him, shocked.
“What did you just say?”
“So, you don’t want to do it again?” Adam repeated it slowly, as if I were an imbecile.
“Which part?”
“Any of it.”
Did that mean he wanted to do it again? No… no way. He was messing with me. For sure. God, why couldn’t I read his expression? His face was blank as if he’d just asked me what I wanted for breakfast.
When Adam burst into laughter, he cleared things up for me, making me feel like an idiot. Again.
“I’m fucking with you, man. You should see your face.”
“I can’t see my face.”
He stood up and gave me his hand, wiggling his fingers. “Get up.”
I hesitated before taking his hand as he pulled me up. His grip was firm, his skin warm, and I flexed my fingers to make the sensation go away. When he threw both mattresses on the floor, I blinked in surprise. So, we were doing that again, despite...
He could probably see the confusion on my face because he explained.
“I’m sleepy.”
“Oh,” I muttered, scratching my head. “Right.”
“Take off your clothes.”
My eyes almost popped out of the sockets. “Pardon?”
“Take off your clothes, Jordan. Undress. Strip. Fucking now.”
My dick twitched with interest. Fuck. Not again.
“Why?”
“I want you on your back. Please.”
Was he doing it on purpose? He looked unperturbed, unbothered, and relaxed, and it made me angry.
Why was I the only one upset by this? Still, I did what he said because I saw no other option.
I lay as far away from him as possible, closed my eyes, and prayed for sleep.
I didn’t care if it would bring dreams or nightmares, as long as it stopped me from thinking.