Chapter 34
THIRTY-FOUR
EMMA
I’d lingered in the other room far longer than necessary, pretending to search for a blanket, mostly trying to get my pulse under control.
By the time I returned, Caden had built a fire from some scraps of wood he’d found somewhere outside, I presumed.
The flames burned low but steady, throwing long, amber shadows across the walls.
Our soaked clothes hung from a makeshift line above it, steam rising in thin curls, smelling faintly of smoke and river water.
He didn’t look up but tossed another piece of wood onto the flames. “Rachel called back,” he said, his tone as even as the fire crackle. “Confirmed the US shot down the drone. We’ve got a few hours of free range before anyone else notices we’re not dead.”
He glanced up then, pupils catching the firelight. “Let’s warm up, then head back out and save that annoying ex-boyfriend of yours.”
I snorted, arms crossed to hide the shiver that had nothing to do with the cold. “He does have some redeeming qualities.”
A corner of his mouth twitched, though it wasn’t quite a smile. “I’ll take your word for it.”
I almost hated how familiar that half-smile felt, how it punched the air out of me, every single time.
And I realized, somewhere between all the fights and the blood and the bad choices, he’d stopped being the guy who got under my skin and had become the one person I couldn’t seem to scrape out of it.
But there was still so much hanging between us…
No weakness, Emma. Grow some balls and talk to the guy.
I shifted in the doorway, then forced the words out that needed to be said. “Can we talk for a second?”
Caden didn’t answer. He crouched near the fire instead, feeding it yet another piece of wood. Sparks snapped between us, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the flames or the distance he’d built.
I moved closer, step by step, until the heat from the fire brushed against my skin. “Please, Caden. Don’t shut me out. You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you over this.”
That finally made him look up at me. His expression didn’t change, but something in his eyes did.
“I’m not your friend, Emma,” he said, voice low and dark, barely restrained. “Friends don’t look at each other like they’re one second away from dragging each other to the floor and fucking the air out of their lungs.”
My heart stuttered as the words rang with a lot more truth than they should have.
He drew a slow breath, then added, quieter, “But do you know who is your friend? Sean.”
I looked away, swallowing against the tightness in my throat. “I know.”
“Do you?” he pressed. “Because he has been a brother to you since day one.”
“A friendship born out of guilt,” I snapped before I could stop myself, unable to avoid the subject any longer.
Something softened in his features, not enough to call it empathy, but close. “Though that might be true, everything he feels for you is genuine,” he said, gently. “Yes, it started out with guilt. But everything after your first meeting at Cyclos was real.”
I blinked hard, fighting the sting behind my eyes. “Was it?”
He nodded once. “Every single second.”
The silence that followed was rather heavy.
Finally, I exhaled, the fight draining out of me.
I sank down beside him, close enough to feel the warmth seeping through the air between us.
“If that’s true, I need him to tell me that.”
Caden didn’t look away from the flames. “He will,” he said quietly. “But you need to listen when he does.”
“I will,” I said after a pause, though even to my own ears it didn’t sound convincing.
“He’s worth the benefit of the doubt,” Caden murmured.
I closed my eyes only for a second. “I know.”
When I reopened them, the flicker of light danced against the stone, and in it, I saw flashes of Sean.
The way he’d stood by me. The advice, the late-night talks, the hugs that held me together when I couldn’t stand on my own.
All of it ran through my mind like a film I didn’t want to rewatch but couldn’t turn off.
“Sean is worth my forgiveness,” I admitted softly.
“He is,” Caden agreed, his tone unreadable.
I drew in a slow breath. “Doesn’t mean I’m not still angry at him.”
“You’re allowed to be,” he said, sounding even gentler, like he really meant it.
I turned my head. “Good to know I have your royal approval.”
Caden’s mouth twitched again, this time closer to an actual smile. “Wouldn’t want you to live without it.”
“Or without friends,” I added coldly.
“I would never want that.” He paused, then took a deep breath. “And at least with Sean, you can find yourself in the same room as him for more than ten seconds without wanting to fuck his brains out.”
Heat crept up my neck, settling under my skin until I forced a smirk to lighten the tension that was near killing me. “Who says I don’t want to fuck his brains out?”
Caden snorted, low and disbelieving. “Right. Sure. Good luck with that.”
“He’s hot, you know,” I said, then shrugged.
Caden gave a slow nod, lips twitching. “Oh, absolutely. And I applaud your generosity: overlooking the limp-dick situation he’ll have the second you take your shirt off.”
I gasped in mock shock. “Are you saying I couldn’t sway the gay?”
Caden barked out an unexpected laugh, loud, unfiltered, real. The sound rolled through the small space, breaking something open between us.
“Fuck,” he said, shaking his head. “If anyone could, it’d be you.”
The way he looked at me then—dark eyes glinting, mouth curved just so—it did something dangerous to my pulse.
I laughed too, soft at first, then fuller.
And just like that, any residual anger between us dissolved, burned off like mist.
Without thinking, I shifted closer to him.
My shoulder brushed his chest, as Caden’s arm came around me, protective, instinctive, like his body had decided before his mind had realized what he’d do.
“You know this is never going to work if you’re right all the time,” I muttered, hating how right it felt to be pressed against his side.
The hot, infuriating man beside me let out a low snort. “Good to know.”
I drew in a slow breath, steadying myself.
“Because you are,” I said quietly. “You’re right. Sean is my friend.”
Caden nodded once. “I know.”
I hesitated for a second, before forcing out what burned all the way up. “You are not.”
A beat. “I know.”
I swallowed, pulse kicking hard against my throat, the air between us suddenly too heavy to breathe. “You’re more.”
His eyes flicked to mine, steady, unflinching, and impossibly sure. “I know.”
The words scraped out of me, barely a breath. “And that scares the hell out of me.”
Something in his face cracked open at that, as if the armor he’d been wearing finally gave way. His hand came up, fingers trailing along my jaw before brushing my cheek. Gentle, reverent, undoing me with one touch.
“I know,” he said again, quieter this time.
For a moment, neither of us moved.
Then he shifted and reached for my backpack. He set it down beside him, lay back on it, and without a word, slid his arm out in silent invitation.
I didn’t even think. My body just knew. I slipped beside him, fitting against his side like I’d been meant to all along. His body was solid, radiating warmth that soaked straight into my bones, grounding me in a way nothing else ever could.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his chest, my breath ghosting over his skin.
He stilled, his hand finding the small of my back. When he spoke, his voice rumbled low beneath my ear, steady and rough. “For what?”
I tilted my head until our eyes met. “For all of it. For being a coward, mostly. For being angry at you about Coastal. Lying to me wasn’t your best moment,” I admitted, “but the rage I’ve been holding onto…
” My throat tightened. “It’s mainly about Sean, about him keeping this from me even though you ordered him to.
Being angry at you just…made it easier to keep my distance. ”
He brushed a loose strand of hair from my forehead with a tenderness that made me shiver. His touch lingered, warm against the cold.
“I’m sorry too,” he said, his tone threaded with genuine regret.
“I should’ve come clean a long time ago.
Sean asked me again and again if he could tell you, and I shut him down every time.
I didn’t want to risk you feeling betrayed by one more person you trusted.
But in doing so, I gave you two who did. ”
My chest ached. “You wanted me to have him. You wanted me to have a person I could count on.”
Caden nodded, his eyes glinting with a sadness I’d never seen there before.
I couldn’t look away. “You were looking out for me,” I said, the realization catching on my breath.
He nodded once. “Always.”
The word hit deep, too deep. It wasn’t a promise, it was a confession.
The silence that followed pulsed with something alive. His breath mingled with mine, slow and uneven. Everything between us felt weighted, charged, like if I moved even a fraction, the entire world might tilt.
I could feel the heat radiating off him, the steady thrum of his pulse where his wrist brushed my arm. My body betrayed me, leaning in without permission.
Gods, I wanted to kiss him. I wanted it so badly it physically hurt not to.
His gaze dropped to my mouth, and in it I saw the same ache I felt reflected right back at me. His jaw flexed once, a muscle ticking as though he was fighting himself.
Then, with agonizing slowness, his thumb ghosted along the curve of my bottom lip, feather-light.
My pulse stuttered, and his eyes darkened as he whispered, low and unsteady, “The first time I ever tasted your lips, was to breathe life back into you.”
His breath brushed my skin, his pupils blown wide, and burning. “All it did was restart my own fucking heart.”
My pulse went wild, pounding so hard it felt like it might tear straight out of my chest. “I don’t even remember that,” I whispered, the moment trembling between us.