Chapter 17 – TrickTreat #2
But still. I could have told my dad we were just friends. Axel’s words about not liking me would have stung more if my heart wasn’t already shattered. It was hard to break a heart that was already broken. “Well, thanks for risking it tonight. I appreciated it.”
“Like I said, I didn’t know it was important to you. Now I do.” He dropped his gaze from the invisible stars. “So expect all the soup.”
“I have enough soup for a year.”
He laughed. “Then expect other stuff I guess. I’ll get creative.”
I knocked my shoulder into his. “Thanks for this, Axel. You were right. I needed to get out. But I’m sorry you had to miss the party tonight for this.”
“Trick or treating beats the Caldwell Halloween party any year.”
I smiled.
“And I’d do anything for you, Scarlett. You know that.”
Normally when he said stuff like that, I’d hold my breath, hoping he’d lean down to kiss me. I’d get in my head. I’d get sad when he didn’t and spiral. But there was no reason to mess up the night with make believe. Besides, my heart and head were focused on someone that wasn’t even here. “Axel?”
“Yeah?”
“Did Jacob say anything to you on Friday when he took you home? Or did you say anything else to him about...you know.”
Axel shrugged. “I don’t know. I was pretty high. I’m really sorry, by the way. For saying what I did. I didn’t mean to...”
“It’s fine. Jacob had a lot of reasons to break up with me.” Maybe what Axel said was the tipping point. But I wasn’t really sure. I didn’t even think Jacob was attracted to me. I sniffled and reached into my bag for another piece of candy.
“Did you really love him?” Axel asked.
With everything I am. I ate a Reese’s instead of saying that out loud and just nodded my head. Sometimes saying something out loud made it hurt more. And I was already holding back tears.
“I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“Really, it wasn’t your fault. It was mine. Just my general existence or something.” I forced a smile to my face.
“There is nothing wrong with you, Scarlett.”
I nodded, even though I knew that wasn’t true. And I didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“Is your favorite soup minestrone?”
He laughed. “No. Chicken noodle, hands down.”
“Then why the heck did you say it was minestrone?”
“I was trying not to upset Gigi. I dumped that soup straight in the trash where it belonged.”
I laughed and shook my head. “Is she mad at you tonight? For hanging out with me instead of her?”
“No idea.”
“You didn’t tell her?” I asked.
“Why would I? She’s not my girlfriend anymore.”
“What? When did you break up?”
“On Monday,” he said.
I stared at him. “Why? I thought the two of you were serious?”
“Not that serious after all. Besides, I promised you I’d break up with her as soon as you broke up with Jacob. We had a deal.”
“You’re ridiculous.” But I couldn’t even pretend to hide my smile. “You seriously broke up with her?”
“A deal is a deal.”
I sighed. “Technically Jacob broke up with me. Not the other way around.”
“You’re still single.” He grabbed another piece of candy. “And we have a vow of singledom.”
“You know what? Screw it.” I grabbed a piece of candy and held it into the air. “Here’s to singledom.”
Axel locked his elbow around mine like we were making a toast. “Hear hear.” He knocked his piece of candy against mine and then we both ate ours, our arms still intertwined. It was much less sophisticated than champagne, but somehow a million times better.
I smiled as we unlocked arms. “So we both agree to be single for the rest of the year?”
Axel looked up at the sky again. “What about your kiss thief?”
I laughed. “I doubt Leo will ever speak to me again after that fight.” And my lying. God, I really was a dirty liar.
“But did you like him?”
“I don’t know, the whole thing got confusing when I started dating Jacob.
” I didn’t think I needed to tell Axel about the crossover there or the fake dating thing.
What did it even matter? It was all so mortifying.
“I think maybe I liked the idea of my kiss thief more than I liked him. Not that I didn’t have fun with Leo, I did.
I just...I didn’t think it was going to be him.
Maybe. I don’t know.” I laughed awkwardly.
I honestly hadn’t given it much thought recently.
“Who did you think it was going to be?” Axel dropped his gaze from the sky to look at me.
I shrugged. You. “Mr. Halifax was a real contender for a bit.”
Axel laughed. “Really? I thought Sophie was the only one with a crush on him.”
“She is! I thought he liked me. Not the other way around. I actually had a whole list of people it could be. Sophie and I narrowed it down from the whole football team since I got kissed at that first party of the year. At the O’Reilly circus.”
“Just like you wanted,” Axel said.
“Yeah, I guess so.” But nothing had turned out how I’d planned it.
“So that’s why you stole the varsity roster.”
I laughed. “Yup. Sorry about that.”
“Did you ever think it could be me?” He stared into my eyes. “I mean...I’m on the varsity football team.” He raised his eyebrows at me.
A confident girl would probably tell him that she’d desperately wanted it to be him.
But that obviously wasn’t me. So instead I laughed, because I was pretty sure he was just joking with me.
“I think you made it pretty clear how you feel about me. I actually thought it was Jacob for a bit though.” I sighed.
If only. My kiss thief actually liked me.
Jacob did not. “None of it matters anyway. It’s done now. All of it.”
“So you don’t like Leo?”
“I don’t know. I just...” I wanted to cry thinking of Jacob’s words. “I want to be with someone who loves me out loud.”
“You will be. One day. I know it.”
One day felt very far away from today. “I don’t think I want to be in a relationship again for a really long time.” I still wasn’t sure it was worth the pain in my chest.
“So...single for the rest of the year?” Axel asked.
I laughed. “Sure, why not? A deal is a deal,” I said, repeating his words. It would be easier with him being single too. Not having to sit with Gigi at lunch was going to make my life significantly better. As soon as I dared to enter the cafeteria again. This would definitely make it easier though.
“Does this mean I get to sleep in your bed again?”
“In your dreams.”
“Is that a yes? Because I’ve been dreaming of sleeping in your bed again ever since you kicked me out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever makes you happy.”
He smiled. “I know you missed me.”
I hadn’t when I was with Jacob. But God, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t missed Axel this past week. Maybe I’d somehow be able to sleep again if he was beside me. “I did miss sleeping with you,” I said. “But not in that sexual way you always say it. As friends.”
“Right. As friends.” Axel pulled his mask back on and slowly stood up. “Ready to go have some more old men check you out?”
I laughed. “They are not.”
“They absolutely are.” He grabbed my hand and helped me to my feet. He reached out and straightened my crown.
For a second we both just stared at each other.
And again it felt like one of those moments I’d usually ruin in my head.
So instead of ruining it, I dropped his hand.
“Race you to the next house!” I ran off.
And I was somehow winning. I reached the steps and made it up about two before Axel caught me around the waist.
He spun my around and placed me back on the sidewalk.
He kept his arms wrapped around me and his lips fell to my ear.
“I really am so sorry, Scarlett. And I know your heart is hurting right now. But I promise I’m going to heal it.
” He kissed the spot right beneath my ear and his hands slid ever slightly lower around my waist.
I was completely frozen. How was I not supposed to read into that?
But then he released me from his grip and ran up the rest of the steps to knock first.
I laughed and ran after him. Maybe he just meant he’d keep making me laugh until I stopped wanting to cry.