Chapter 22 – I Don’t Hook Up With Lying Convicts
Friday
“Maybe you didn’t see him run ahead of you or something,” Sophie said.
I grabbed more shampoo to scrub the vinegar out of my hair. “I don’t think so.”
“I can’t hear you.” Sophie was talking to me through the curtain in a women’s locker room shower. The nurse had given me some clothes from the lost and found and sent me to clean up. I was pretty sure she just didn’t want to smell me.
I pulled the curtain to the side and poked my head out. “It’s not him, Soph. Looking back at it, there were soooo many signs. I think. I don’t know, all my conversations with him were super confusing.” My head was going a mile a minute. How had I not seen it? It seemed so obvious now.
“Well I at least need some examples.”
“At dinner he said he didn’t tell me he was my kiss thief because I was dating Jacob. But he’d stolen my first kiss way before I started dating Jacob.”
“Okay,” Sophie said. “So when he was ready to tell you, you were already dating Jacob. Not a good point.”
“Fair. But when I mentioned third base stuff to him at dinner, he said all guys like third base stuff. He didn’t reference our third base stuff at all. And when I mentioned it again today, I told him he was good at it. And he said I guess people talk. Like I wouldn’t know first-hand!”
“Hm.”
“And when I told him I thought Mr. Halifax was my kiss thief, he acted like we hadn’t already texted about that. He thought I had a teacher kink via text but he was clueless in person.”
“I mean, maybe he was uncomfortable with you having a teacher kink?”
“No. He said he’d spank me with a ruler whenever I wanted when he texted.”
“So hot.”
“And when I mentioned how he could have texted me the truth, he kind of acted like he doesn’t text all that much.
Even though he was constantly texting me.
And oh my God, Soph! I told him to text me today and he said he didn’t have my number!
I’m such an idiot. And he didn’t know the last first he needed to steal was sex.
I don’t think Leo had any idea that the kiss thief was even stealing firsts.
And he likes is when I call him Leo the Rugged Thief instead of my kiss thief.
And my kiss thief was into the kiss thief name. I know he was.”
“Maybe he’s trying to move forward from the kiss thief part of your relationship?”
“Then explain the not having my phone number thing!”
“He probably meant in his real phone?”
I groaned as I rinsed out my hair. The vinegar smell wouldn’t go away.
I lathered more soap onto my body. “And Leo said he never would have guessed I had a wild streak. And my kiss thief knows I do because I’ve been hooking up with him in dark closets!
And my kiss thief called me baby all the time via text.
And Leo’s never called me that in person.
Has your brother answered your text yet? ” I needed to have a word with him.
“Yeah, he said he just asked to use the bathroom to get out of class. He should be here any minute.”
“God, what if RJ lied about this whole thing because he’s actually my kiss thief?”
“Not this again,” Sophie said with a laugh.
“It would explain everything. And why does he keep calling me baby doll if it’s not a sex thing?”
Sophie laughed. “Because he likes the code name. My brother is not your kiss thief. Don’t be gross.”
I wanted to scream, but I forced myself not to.
“And you’re thinking about all these little things that don’t add up, but there are a million things that do. We’ve narrowed it down to Leo from a huge list.”
“It only takes a few little things to make the whole theory crumble!”
“But Leo confessed. And maybe he slipped into the photo development room without you noticing.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Come on, isn’t there anything that points to it still being him?”
I rinsed the soap off of me. I was finally starting to smell a bit better and that helped clear my head. “Well, the kiss thief knew I liked crab cakes. And Leo ordered them for me at dinner.”
“Oh, I told him about that,” said RJ.
“RJ’s here,” Sophie said.
Yeah, I got that! I covered myself with my hands even though there was a curtain separating us. “What do you mean you told Leo that?!”
“He wanted to impress you on your first real date, so he asked a few questions about you beforehand.”
I poked my head out of the shower.
“Ew, what’s that smell?” RJ said. “Scratch that. Just push the curtain the rest of the way to the side so I can see where the dead skunk is, baby doll.”
“Don’t baby doll me! You told me Leo was my kiss thief and he’s not!”
“Of course he is.”
“I just hooked up with my kiss thief and it wasn’t him!”
“Then who was it?”
I screamed at the top of my lungs.
“Is she PMSing or something?” RJ asked Sophie.
Sophie slapped his arm. “RJ, why did you tell us that Leo was her kiss thief?”
“Because I literally saw him go into the women’s restroom after her at homecoming.”
Oh no. “And the kitchen,” I said.
“What?”
“You saw him pull me into the kitchen!”
RJ gave me a weird look. “Um...no?”
“What do you mean no?! The kiss thief struck twice at homecoming.”
“No one told me that,” RJ said.
I screamed at the top of my lungs again.
“Definitely PMSing,” RJ muttered.
“If I wasn’t naked I’d come out there and hit you,” I said.
He smiled. “I mean...you could still do that, baby doll.”
“Don’t you baby doll me! You’ve lost your baby doll privileges!”
“This isn’t my fault,” RJ said. “No one told me the kiss thief struck twice. How was I supposed to know? I thought the mission was over as soon as I caught Leo. I flat out asked him afterwards if he’d kissed you in the restroom, and he said yes.
He confessed. There was no reason for me to keep the operation going. ”
I groaned and turned the shower off. I pulled a towel around me and stepped out.
“I’m really sorry, Scarlett,” RJ said.
I wanted to focus all my fury on him. But him calling me Scarlett instead of baby doll just made me want to cry.
I’d actually gotten used to the nickname after all.
“It’s not your fault. I had this tiny suspicion that the person I kissed in the bathroom and the person I went to third with in the kitchen might be two different people.
But I dismissed it because I thought I was just reading too much into it.
And I thought it didn’t matter anyway. Because I was in love with Jacob. ”
“Come give me a hug,” RJ said.
“Stop it, pervert,” Sophie said.
“I’m just trying to help.”
I picked up the sweater Mr. Halifax had given me. And I noticed Sophie staring at it. “How about you take the lost and found outfit and this.” I held it out to her.
“How about we just swap tops? I’m not wearing those sweatpants around for the rest of the day.”
I’d call a fitted blazer a win.
Sophie started to unbutton her shirt.
RJ turned around. “I really am sorry, Scarlett. But now that I think of it, when I called Leo your kiss thief, he did give me kind of a weird look.”
“It’s not your fault. I should have told you there were two kiss thief strikes that night.
” I’d thought homecoming was the best night of my life.
Dancing under the fake stars with Jacob.
I shook my head and quickly changed. Okay...
this was not a good look. The sweatpants, button up shirt, and blazer looked so much worse than Sophie’s uniform skirt and a baggy sweater.
She pushed the arms up to somehow make it look even more chic. “Mmm. It smells like him.”
At least she was happy. I sniffed the air. I definitely still smelled like vinegar.
“I think you should at least ask Leo flat out,” RJ said. “We’ll come with you at lunch.”
I nodded. “Okay. But I really don’t think it’s him, guys.”
“It’s fine if it’s not,” Sophie said. “We can just start from the beginning.”
“The beginning?”
“Yeah, the whole football team.”
“No.”
“And this time we really have to include JV. That might be where we went wrong. It’s probably an underclassman.”
I could feel myself starting to sweat.
RJ reached out and pushed my wet hair to the side. “Is that a hickey?”
“What?” I reached up to touch the side of my neck.
Sophie fanned her face. “Oh my God, the kiss thief marked you. That is so hot.”
“No.” I ran over to the bathroom mirrors. Sure enough I had a huge red mark on the side of my neck. “What am I going to do? My dad is going to kill me if he sees this.”
“Here.” Sophie reached out and popped the collar of my shirt. “That...kind of covers it.”
Kind of wasn’t going to cut it. But what else could I do? I pushed my hair all to that side in hopes of helping.
RJ gave me two thumbs up. “Do I really not get to call you baby doll ever again? Because it’s really grown on me.”
“You can do it again tomorrow,” I said. “You’re on probation right now.”
He laughed. “Fair enough. I can’t wait to tell Liam about this. He is going to laugh so hard.”
***
Sophie had the biggest smile on her face all day because of Mr. Halifax’s sweater. Probably because the look on his face when we’d walked back into class was priceless.
I was really starting to think Sophie was right. The two of them were definitely going to live happily ever after.
Whereas I was a dirty slut who hooked up with multiple men in dark rooms. I was going to die alone with AIDS.
“Let’s do this,” Sophie said and started walking toward Leo.
I kind of thought we’d give it a second, but okay. I hurried after her.
RJ and Liam walked over too.
“I can’t believe it’s not Leo,” Liam said. “RJ literally saw him.”
“Well your sister is a huge slut and hooked up with two different guys,” I said.
“Scar.” He gave me a sympathetic look.
“It’s true.”
“It’s not,” he said.
I wished it wasn’t. A couple months ago, I’d never been kissed.
And now I was basically a ho. But it was nice that Liam didn’t think I was.
I was starting to get used to Liam being sweet to me.
I liked this a lot more than him throwing me under the bus.
“Thank you for last night, by the way. When dad asked what hooking up meant, you probably saved me from being grounded by not telling him.”