Chapter 21 – Savage
Wednesday
The past week was a wash. I was just going to pretend that it hadn’t even happened. Today was my new fresh start. I was ungrounded and ready to slay my senior year.
Yes, my dad was a teacher here now. And no, I didn’t have the perfect pair of high heels to walk into school with this time. But I was still wearing contacts and had my new shorter uniform skirt. And I’d spent extra time on my makeup this morning. I knew I’d done a good job too. Because my dad had told me to scrub it off. And my mom had told me we needed to get going or we’d be late. I was always grateful for her playing interference.
Sophie hooked her arm through mine when I reached the front steps. “I see you’re not wearing Axel’s jacket today.”
“I didn’t think it would be a good idea to wear it while I’m on a date with Jacob.” And I certainly didn’t need Axel’s cologne wafting all around me while I was flirting with another guy. I wanted Axel out of my head. And not wearing his jacket was a part of that.
Sophie smiled. “I’m really proud of you, Scar. Here’s to new beginnings.”
“To new beginnings.” I smiled too. And then I took a deep breath. I really needed this fresh start. My life had been spiraling out of control recently, and it was time to set it back on track.
This time when we walked into school, Gigi wasn’t there to trip me. It truly did feel like the day I wished I’d had on the first day of school. This re-do was amazing.
Sophie and I stopped at our lockers to get our books for Mr. Halifax’s class.
Axel walked over and leaned against the locker next to mine. He smiled at me. In that way that seemed reserved just for me. “Hey.”
I tried not to let his smile make my heart race. “Hey.”
But then his smile dropped. He peered into my locker and then back at me. “Where’s my varsity jacket?”
“Oh, sorry. I’ll bring it tomorrow to give it back to you.”
“I didn’t ask for it back.”
“Yeah, but I was just borrowing it. And I know you need it for someone else.”
He lowered his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”
“Gigi told me that you guys have been texting non-stop.” I shrugged, like the news hadn’t made me want to cry. But I was not going to cry on my fresh start day.
Axel laughed. “I texted her once. On Friday. After you went against our deal.”
I slammed my locker closed. “That’s not what she said.”
“Well, she’s mental.”
“You really shouldn’t call your new girlfriend mental.” I tried to step around him, but he blocked my path.
“I texted her one time. That was it, I swear. And I only did it because you flirted with Jacob right in front of me. We had a deal, Scarlett.”
“No, you had a deal. I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“You agreed to it.”
“I was under duress!” God, I’d already decided Axel wasn’t going to be a part of my fresh start. So what was he doing standing here trying to mess it up already? “Axel, I don’t know what you want from me. After we talked on Friday, I...” my voice trailed off. I’d told him I’d always pictured my first kiss with him. And he hadn’t said a damn word in response. “You’ve barely said two words to me since our...talk.” I didn’t know what else to call it. Did he not remember my confession or something?
“Yeah, we haven’t spoken much because I was pissed that you came to the party in the first place. Which I told you. And I’m even more pissed at you for breaking our deal.”
“Well, get used to it. Because I’m going to keep breaking it. I have a date with Jacob today.”
Axel laughed. “You’re seriously going on that ridiculous ice cream date?”
“I’m going on a very romantic ice cream date with Jacob, yes.”
“You hate leaving campus for lunch. Come on. Just come to lunch.”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do. I’m going on the date. End of story.”
“Are you sure you want to do that?”
The way he said it was laced with venom. He wasn’t touching me, but it felt like he had a hold on me. Somehow pulling me closer. And I knew the meaning of his words. He was asking me if I was sure because there would be repercussions. He’d keep texting Gigi. He’d break the deal too. He’d kiss her.
The thought made me slightly queasy, but I wasn’t backing down. I was done letting Axel mess with my head. “Yes, I’m sure,” I said, even though I wasn’t. I was worried that seeing Gigi kiss him again might kill me.
But what was I supposed to do? Just sit around pining over Axel forever? Screw that. And screw him. “Oh, and get your shit together and start handing off the ball to Jacob again. You’re going to make Empire High lose our first game of the season.”
Axel opened his mouth and closed it again.
I didn’t wait for him to think of something to say. I just turned and walked away from him.
“Savage,” Sophie said as she caught up to me. She looped her arm through mine. “Have I already said how proud of you I am today? Because seriously...you’re amazing.”
I forced a smile onto my face. That hadn’t felt amazing. Axel didn’t like me the way I liked him. But he’d always been my friend. He wasn’t acting like a friend anymore though. It seemed like he was hellbent on ruining my senior year and I had no idea why.
***
I stared out the window of Jacob’s truck and then turned my attention back to him. “You’ve been driving your truck to school a lot recently,” I said.
“Yeah, Axel and I stopped riding together,” Jacob said. “Our schedules have been a bit off I guess.”
I pressed my lips together. I didn’t want to talk about Axel. And I also didn’t think it had anything to do with a change in Axel’s schedule. Unless being an asshole counted as a schedule change. “Well, I love this truck. It’s very you.”
Jacob laughed and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. “How so? Because I’m older than you?”
I laughed. The truck was old, but that wasn’t what I was talking about. “No. It’s...homey.” Eek. That came out wrong.
Jacob smiled but didn’t respond as he changed lanes.
It had been a while since I’d hung out with Jacob one-on-one. But the silence wasn’t awkward. It was comfortable. Yeah, this felt right. This was my first ever date. I thought I’d feel nervous. But...it actually just felt easy to breathe. I smiled to myself, remembering my dad’s words.
I stared at Jacob’s profile while he was driving. He had a small red line on the side of his cheek from his fight with Billy O’Reilly. But it was healing. I doubted it would even leave a scar. I’d been so worried about him. I think Friday was the first time I truly realized that my feelings for him were stronger than I thought. That or when he’d watched me licking an ice cream cone. I’d really liked him staring at me with that heated gaze.
“Are you staring at me?” he asked and raised his eyebrow.
“What? Psh.” I laughed and looked around the truck. “No, I’m studying your truck. It really does feel very homey.” I kicked off my flats and put my feet up on the dash. “Yup, very comfortable.”
He stared at my feet on the dash. “This truck actually belonged to my dad.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know how I didn’t know that. I dropped my feet back to the floor. “No wonder it feels like home then.”
He smiled again, but this time it looked a little sad. “I don’t usually drive anyone around in it.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to...”
“No, it’s fine. I like that you feel comfortable in my truck. Most girls prefer something a little nicer, you know?”
Like all the other cars in the parking lot of Empire High. Yeah. I definitely preferred Jacob’s truck. “Well I’m not most girls, thank you very much.” I put my feet back up on the dash.
He smiled.
The silence stretched between us again.
“Do you remember him well? Your dad?”
“Not as well as I wished I did. Just...pieces. But my mom always tells me stories. About how it used to be just the three of us. Sometimes I don’t know if I just remember her stories or if I can actually picture it myself. If that makes sense.”
I felt tears welling in the corners of my eyes. “Yeah, I get that. We have all these home movies. And I have no idea if I just remember the footage or remember it actually happening in the first place. Do you have any home movies from back then?”
Jacob shook his head.
And I realized that bringing up my childhood maybe wasn’t a good comparison at all. Or maybe he was sad that he didn’t have any videos from that time. “I bet you remember more than you realize.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Yeah.”
I hadn’t meant to upset him. I cleared my throat. “So...where are we going?”
“There’s this little diner that my mom takes me to all the time. They have the best ice cream sundaes.”
I smiled. “That sounds perfect.” I let the comfortable silence fill the car again. I took a deep breath. It smelled like freshly cut grass in here. The thought made me smile, because I could so easily picture Jacob and me as kids, running around Central Park together and playing in his grandparents’ back yard.
Jacob pulled to the curb and parked the car.
I hopped out onto the sidewalk. “This place is so cute.” I could see through the windows that encircled the diner on the corner. The floors were black and white checkered and the booths were bright red. As we walked inside, it felt like we’d walked into a diner from the 60s. The smiley waitress guided us to a table. I slid into the booth and was surprised when Jacob slid in next to me.
I smiled up at him. “So what do you recommend?”
“Oh definitely a banana split.”
We placed our orders and Jacob laughed when the waitress walked away.
“Scar, it’s hardly a banana split if you only order chocolate ice cream with it.”
“What? Of course it is. A banana is still split in half on it.”
“That’s just a banana with chocolate ice cream.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Don’t be a barbarian and eat my extra chocolate ice cream when you run out after only one scoop.” I lightly nudge him with my shoulder.
He laughed and put his arm behind me on the back of the booth. He wasn’t touching me, but I could feel the heat radiating from his arm.
“I noticed you’re not wearing Axel’s jacket today,” he said.
I laughed awkwardly. “Yeah. I need to return that.”
“So there’s nothing going on between you two, right?”
I got why he was asking. But I really reeeeally didn’t want to talk about Axel right now. At the same time though, I also kind of needed to. If Jacob somehow found out about Operation Too Hot to Handle, specifically Phase Incest, he’d be so hurt. And I needed to be preemptive about this. I exhaled slowly.
“Oh no,” Jacob said. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“No, it’s not bad. Just...um...” My voice trailed off. “Look, I may have had a crush on Axel for a bit.”
“Just a bit, huh?” Jacob raised his eyebrow. “More like forever.”
I groaned. “Was it that obvious?”
“To everyone but him I think.”
This was mortifying. I hadn’t realized that everyone else knew. I was so pathetic. “I need to tell you something, but I need you to promise to just hear all of it before you react.”
“Okay...”
“At the start of this year, Sophie and I came up with Operation Too Hot to Handle.”
Jacob laughed. “You two and your operations. What was this one about?”
“It was about me changing up my look. You know.” I gestured to my face that wasn’t hidden beneath glasses.
“Trust me, I’ve noticed your new look.” He smiled.
And that just made my stomach twist with guilt. “The new look was to win over Axel. But it completely backfired.”
Jacob pulled his eyebrows together.
“And then Sophie came up with this idea that if I flirted with you in front of Axel, then Axel would get jealous and finally ask me out.” I didn’t tell him the name of the phase. Because no one wanted to hear that. And it wasn’t freaking incest.
Jacob pulled his arm off the back of the bench.
“But I didn’t need to pretend to flirt with you. It just happened very naturally. And I think I’ve been blind this whole time. I don’t think that Axel is the guy for me but maybe you are?” I wasn’t sure why that came out as a question. I’d meant it.
Jacob just stared at me.
“I think maybe I explained that all wrong. I’m just trying to say that Operation Too Hot to Handle was canceled as soon as I realized I have actual feelings for you.”
God, why wasn’t he saying anything? “Or if you think we’re just friends or whatever...cool.”
My voice was suddenly weirdly high-pitched. “Because obviously we’re friends. And this was just a friendship ice cream date thing, right? I don’t think you ever said date date. And maybe I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I mean, everyone likes ice cream. And ice cream is a casual thing.” God.
“Can we maybe just forget everything I just said? Where is our ice cream? This is taking forever, right? Should I call the waitress over? I think I should.” I lifted my hand in the air to get the waitress’ attention.
But Jacob grabbed my hand and pulled it down. And he kept holding it.
I looked up at him. “Please just say something. I am so so sorry.”
“It was real for me,” Jacob said slowly.
“I know, it was real for me too. That’s what I was trying to say.”
He smiled. “And this is a date date. Not a friendship date.”
Really? I felt the smile spread across my face. “Noted.”
“I know your original plan backfired. But I don’t want to be your second choice, Scarlett. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to notice me like that?”
I laughed. “Don’t even with me. We both know we’ve always just been friends before this year.”
“Not true.”
I just stared at him.
“I’ve had a crush on you ever since I first moved to the city. But it was always you and Axel...”
“It was never me and Axel.”
He raised his eyebrow. “You used to talk all the time about how you were going to get married and have like a bajillion kids or something.”
“I was just a kid. I was stupid.”
Jacob laughed.
“I really didn’t know that you liked me like that.”
“Why do you think I stood at the red panda exhibit for hours with you once a week for years?”
The red panda exhibit. I swallowed hard. What were the odds of him bringing that specific thing up today after I talked about red pandas last night with my kiss thief? It was totally him, wasn’t it? It had to be. I was so relieved. “I thought you just liked red pandas.”
“I liked you.”
I smiled.
The waitress brought over our banana splits.
I immediately lifted my spoon and took a big bite. “You’re right, these are the absolute best banana splits.”
“Not a banana split,” he said and stared at my chocolate ice cream.
“Is too.”
He chuckled. But instead of taking a bite of his banana split he just stared at me. “So you swear nothing is going on between you and Axel?”
“No. I’m done with him. And the feeling is mutual. He doesn’t like me and never will.”
“Of course he likes you, Scar.”
I forced myself not to choke on my ice cream. “What?”
“Just not in that way. You guys are best friends. He just thinks of you as like...a little sister, you know?”
No, I hadn’t known that. What the actual F? “Right.” I laughed awkwardly, hoping Jacob couldn’t tell how hurt I was by that. Axel thought of me like a little sister? It would certainly explain why it seemed like he’d literally date anyone but me.
“He’s very protective over you. Whenever someone so much as mentions your name in the locker room he threatens them to stay away from you.”
“Excuse me?”
“Yeah, he’s been scaring off potential dates for years. Total big brother vibes.”
I hated this for me.
“But I figured he wouldn’t care if I asked you on a date. Because he knows I’d treat you right. I have no idea what his problem is. He’s being a total dick though. You know he hasn’t handed me the ball in practice all week?”
“Liam mentioned that. I actually told Axel off this morning. And told him to start handing it off to you again.
“You did?” Jacob laughed. “I wish I’d seen that.”
“I don’t know how he expects to win the game without his star running back.”
Jacob smiled. “He’ll come around. As soon as he realizes I’m not just trying to hook up with you, you know?”
No, I didn’t know. I didn’t know anything about Axel apparently. I took another bite of ice cream as my mind spun with everything Jacob had just said. But it totally made sense. When Sophie had asked them if anyone had asked about me in the locker room, Jacob and Axel had just looked at each other and ignored the question. But it was because they both knew someone had asked about me. Or a few someones apparently. How long had Axel Stevens been trying to ruin my freaking life?!
“You really are serious about your love for ice cream,” Jacob said.
“What?”
He nodded down.
I’d almost finished my whole sundae and Jacob had barely touched his. I was stress eating. God. Axel was ruining my date and he wasn’t even freaking here. I took a deep breath to try to get Axel out of my head.
Wait. I’d almost forgotten something important. I looked up at Jacob. I was becoming surer by the second that he was my kiss thief. He’d talked about red pandas. He was plenty tall enough. His abs were amazing. He knew I hadn’t had a first kiss. And he just confessed that he’d had a crush on me forever. Practically a stalker, really. I smiled.
I just needed proof. I needed to kiss him.
And Sophie had given me the whole plan.
I cleared my throat. “You have something right here.” I tapped the corner of my lip.
He wiped the side of his mouth.
“Other side.”
He grabbed a napkin and wiped off his whole mouth.
How was I supposed to pretend there was something there now that he’d wiped every inch of his lips?
He turned back toward his banana split.
I just needed to go for it. I could maybe pretend it was a little higher. Like on his cheek. That could have easily been missed by the napkin. “Actually,” I said. “It’s right there.” I reached out to touch his cheek.
But he turned to look at me at the exact same time.
And I somehow poked him right in the eye.
“Ow, shit,” he said and dodged away from me.
“Oh my God, Jacob, I’m so sorry!”
He winced with one eye. “It’s fine. It barely hurts.”
But I’d jabbed him pretty hard right in the eye. Why had I gone in so hot? I was supposed to gingerly touch his lips, not assault him. I cringed. At least his eye had been closed.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Mhm.” He blinked and moved his nose around. “I’m good.” He laughed.
Sophie had said all I had to do was touch his lips and he’d do the rest. I guess touching lips instead of eyes were two pretty different things.
I grabbed my glass of water. “Put this against your eye.”
Jacob laughed again. “You didn’t give me a black eye. How hard do you think you just struck me?”
I hated that I’d struck him at all. “I can’t believe I just ruined our first date.”
He smiled. “Telling me about your undying love for Axel and poking me in the eye? Nah.”
I groaned. “It’s just like me to ruin my first date ever.”
“I liked being your first.” He smiled.
I stared at him. He didn’t say he’d stolen my first date. But he certainly seemed pleased that it was my first. And there was someone else that seemed fixated on stealing my first everything. I am so onto you, Jacob Miller. Or should I say...Kiss Thief?