Chapter 24 – Highly Illegal
Wednesday
Sophie looked so excited as I caught her up on my plan to catch the mascot changing. She didn’t even seem that upset that it might negate the need for a kissing booth.
“So let me get this straight,” she said. “We’re going to be able to see every inch of the locker room?”
“Yes.”
She squealed. “How did you get RJ to agree to it?”
“I may have accidentally led RJ and Liam to believe I was being blackmailed. And needed to learn who the mascot was before Saturday.”
Sophie laughed. “Brilliant. Our brothers would never let anyone mess with us. Good mind trick.”
“I didn’t mean for it to be a mind trick. I told them about the texts from an unknown number and they jumped to the blackmailing conclusion themselves.”
“Either way, check your phone! Has RJ texted you the login info for the cameras yet?”
I glanced at my phone. “Not yet.”
“Gah, he’ll probably have to wait until after practice. We’ll wait it out together.” She climbed into her car.
I sat down in the passenger’s seat.
“Your place or mine?” she asked.
“Definitely yours. I’m finally free!” This really did feel like a fresh start. Being grounded was behind me. And I was about to get some much needed answers about my kiss thief.
Sophie laughed and pulled her car out of the parking lot. “Check your phone again. RJ might have been able to text you real quick.”
I glanced again. “Nope, nothing yet...” My voice trailed off when I got a text. But it wasn’t from RJ. It was from my kiss thief.
I read it silently to myself. “I hope you enjoyed me stealing another first.”
I felt my cheeks flush. I was pretty sure he’d been able to tell how much I enjoyed that.
“Ah! Do you have access to the cameras? Tell me everything! Is Pavel there? How big is he really? Mr. Halifax walked in too soon so I didn’t have a chance to see.”
I laughed. “No, it wasn’t RJ. The kiss thief texted me. He said he hoped I enjoyed him stealing another first.”
“What first?”
“He...you know.” I put my hand on my chest.
“Ooooh second base. I love that for you. Over or under the shirt?”
“Over.”
“Text him back something saucy. Oh! Say: How do you know that was another first?”
Sophie’s good mood was contagious. And it was nice to have her here to help. She was the queen of flirting. And I didn’t want to accidentally start asking my kiss thief about stuffed animals again. I typed what she said and hit send.
His reply came back right away. “I’m guessing Sophie’s telling you what to text again? Because we both know you saved that first for me.”
I smiled. He knew me too well. I read his response to Sophie and she laughed.
“This guy is onto us,” she said. “Seriously...who do you think it is?”
“Jacob.” I hoped. “He knows we hang out together after school every day. It must be him.”
“Everyone knows we hang out after school. Oh my God.”
“What?”
Sophie made a face as she made a turn toward her apartment.
“What?” I asked again.
“We didn’t really consider that it might be someone who’s messing with you.”
“He’s not messing with me. He clearly likes me. The way he kisses me...”
“Scar, you’re hot. Anyone would be into the kiss. But we need to think bigger here. RJ and Liam jumped to the conclusion that you were being blackmailed. Maybe they have a point.”
I shook my head. “They only thought that because I said I needed the info by Saturday.”
“I know, it’s not about that. I just mean we need to consider the fact that something sinister might be afoot. We have enemies.”
“Are you talking about the Triple Gs?”
“Bingo. What if Gigi hired someone to be your kiss thief? All he has to do is make out with you. But she’s the one texting you, messing with your head. Trying to get inside information from you to leak to the whole school. Good Lord, what if I’m right?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I mean, yes, Gigi is the worst, but...” I sighed. Shit, she really was the worst. “She doesn’t know me that well. My kiss thief knows me. He likes me. He’s not just messing with my head.” I truly believed that.
“Girl, all he’s doing is messing with your head. He’s hiding behind a screen. He’s one big tease. And we don’t even know if the guy kissing you is the one texting you.”
Crap. Was that possible? My stomach churned. I thought about the picture I’d sent of myself in the bikini. I was really glad I hadn’t sent one of the more risqué ones. If this was Gigi somehow trying to blackmail me... “He knows details about the kisses though.”
“Which he could have told Gigi. If she’s behind this, he’d be reporting every detail back to her.”
I groaned. “Sophie, I hate this theory the most. Can’t we just go back to thinking it’s a hot football player?”
“I mean whoever is kissing you definitely is.”
I stared at my phone. “Maybe I should just stop talking to him then.”
“What? No. We need to figure out who it is! This mystery is giving me life right now.”
“I can’t keep talking to him if you think it’s Gigi.” I pretended to hurl.
“It’s just one theory. It could literally be anyone pulling the strings. Or it could just be who’s kissing you. We’ll have so much more information once we get that login info from RJ.” She pulled into the parking garage beneath her apartment.
Maybe I didn’t need to pretend to hurl. My stomach actually felt upset. “Isn’t there any way to tell if it’s a girl or a guy?”
“Actually...yes.” She put her hand out for my phone.
She could send him whatever she wanted as long as it ended the Gigi theory. She quickly typed out a text and handed my phone back to me.
“Sophie!” She’d texted him asking how many people he’d slept with.
“It’s the best way to tell. If the number seems weirdly high, it’s a guy. Because guys always add to the list. And if it’s super low, it’s a girl. Because girls are more likely to lower their number. I’d say anything above 10 is 100% a guy. And anything below 3 is probably a girl.”
“Or maybe the guy just doesn’t have much experience.”
“Does he touch you like he doesn’t have experience?”
I shook my head.
“Exactly.”
We made our way up to her apartment.
Sophie lived in a remodeled historical building along Central Park. It was a short walk from my place, but entirely different. Where my home was all sleek angles and modern furniture, Sophie’s place was more old fashioned. It had been completely restored, but a lot of the features like the crown molding and floors were original.
Aunt Daphne apparently picked the place out. Uncle Rob had wanted a penthouse at some high rise. The two of them were kind of complete opposites. But somehow they fit perfectly. And one of the best parts about going to Sophie’s after school was that neither of her parents were home for a few hours.
Sophie unlocked the door and we walked in. Being away for even just one week felt like too much.
I kicked off my shoes like I always did and rounded the corner into the kitchen to grab a snack.
And I almost screamed when I saw Uncle Rob sitting on the kitchen island eating a slice of pizza.
Sophie laughed. “Dad, what are you doing home so early?”
“I had to bow out of the office for a bit so we could land a deal. Pizza?” He opened up the box.
“That sounds great.” I grabbed a slice. “Shouldn’t you have been negotiating the deal though?”
“Eh. Slight hiccup. I may have slept with the woman we were negotiating with. Forever ago, obviously. So I didn’t remember.” He shrugged. “I guess it upset her a bit?”
Sophie laughed.
I sometimes couldn’t believe that Uncle Rob was my dad’s brother. Where my father was kind of uptight...Uncle Rob was so laid back. My dad would never talk openly about this stuff with me. Because...awkward.
“So that’s why my dad had to miss class today?” I asked.
“You’re welcome for that,” Uncle Rob said. “I still can’t believe he’s terrorizing you girls at school. Just so you know...I tried to talk him out of it.”
I’d been hearing that a lot recently. My mom had tried to talk him out of it too.
“How was your day without my brother hovering?” Uncle Rob asked.
“Great,” Sophie said. “I almost seduced my teacher and Scarlett got felt up in the janitor’s closet.”
I choked on the pizza I’d been eating.
“And we put cameras in the men’s locker room so we can unmask this anonymous guy that’s been sending Scar saucy texts.”
Uncle Rob laughed. “I don’t know whether you’re joking about all that or not, but that sounds fun.” He took a moment to slap me on the back. “You okay? You gotta chew before you swallow, Scar.”
I stared at Uncle Rob. How was he not freaking out right now? Sophie just told him she was trying to seduce a teacher. I cleared my throat. “I’m good.”
“Great.” He slid off the counter. “I’m going to go hit the gym.” He stopped and then turned around. “But just in case you were serious about what you said...”
Okay, here it is. He was about to tell Sophie not to hook up with a teacher.
“It’s illegal to put cameras into locker rooms,” he said. “So you should probably use the V22s so you don’t get caught.”
“Already on it, Dad,” Sophie said.
“That’s my girl. Have fun studying, you two.” He walked out of the kitchen.
I opened my mouth and closed it again. “How was he not yelling?”
Sophie laughed. “What? Why would he yell?”
“Because you said you were trying to seduce a teacher. And the camera thing.”
She shrugged. “You know my dad never yells.”
“My dad grounded me for an entire week for wearing a short skirt and heels. You were spread eagle on our teacher’s desk and he just gave you tips on how not to get caught doing something illegal. Speaking of which...is it actually illegal to put cameras in locker rooms?”
“Oh, yeah. Highly illegal.”
“Sophie, I wouldn’t have gotten RJ to do it if I knew that.”
“It’s fine. RJ knew it was illegal. He knows what he’s doing.” She opened up the fridge. “Oh no,” she said.
“What?”
She pointed to the empty drawer in the fridge. “We’re out of pudding.” She sighed and closed the drawer. “Whenever my dad has any extra free time he always does this.”
“Eats lots of pudding?”
“No. Plans a prank.”
“Oh. Right.” I stared at the empty drawer. Uncle Rob loved his pranks. Especially ones involving pudding. “It’s not Thanksgiving though.” That was usually the day he chose to unleash puddingy hell.
“Yeah, he’s practicing, I guess. I’m going to end up with pudding all over myself sometime over the next few days. I should probably go change out of my uniform just in case it’s tonight.”
***
After searching the apartment for hidden pudding traps, we were now in the family room doing our homework. I kept glancing at my phone, hoping RJ or the kiss thief would text me back.
It took a whole hour before my phone finally buzzed.
I grabbed it. “We have access.”
Sophie tossed her calculus book to the side. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited for anything in my life.”
I logged in and my screen split into 6 smaller screens, all with live footage from the men’s locker room.
“There’s barely anyone in there. Can we rewind it?”
I rewound the footage to when RJ put it up. There was a closeup of his face in one of the screens. “Perfect,” he said and jumped off one of the benches.
“I’m so glad these cameras have audio. Look! Guys are coming in!” She pointed to one of the screens.
Liam and RJ pretended to look all casual as their teammates walked into the locker room.
RJ turned toward the camera and pulled off his shirt. And then he winked.
What was that little pervert’s problem? I exed out of that screen so I wouldn’t accidentally see my cousin’s dick.
“Ah! More guys are changing!” Sophie grabbed my phone and zoomed in. “Bingo.” She showed me a closeup of someone’s junk.
“Sophie! I don’t want to see that.” And why was it out? Where was his underwear?!
“But Single Girl Rule #9: If you hear about a well hung-man, share the news.” She pointed to the penis on the screen.
“What are you talking about?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I found a list in that Russian chick’s apartment titled Single Girl Rules. They’re wild to say the least. And I’m highly considering making them my whole personality.”
“I don’t think we should be following a list of strange Russian rules.”
“Single Girl Rules.”
“Whatever.” I exed out of the screen that was paused on the penis.
“Hey! I wasn’t done with that yet.”
“What else did you want to do with it?”
“Scarlett, we need to study it. That was Eli Jones. He’s on your baker’s dozen list.”
I sighed. “I don’t know what his penis size has to do with him being my kiss thief.”
“Everything when he’s packing that much in those tight little football pants. You definitely need to make out with him on Saturday.”
The kissing booth wasn’t happening. Because we were going to catch our mascot. Speaking of which... “Do you see the mascot costume anywhere?”
We both leaned over the phone to scan the locker room.
“Negative,” Sophie said. “But check him out.” She pointed to Luis Rodriguez and then zoomed up on his dick. At least he was wearing boxers.
“Sophie, stop zooming in so much.”
“But Luis is on your list too.” She cocked her head to the side. “I’m guessing he’s a grower.”
“Sophie, I didn’t put the cameras in the locker room to survey the whole team’s penis sizes.”
“I mean...”
“No.”
“But...”
“Put that away.”
She sighed. “Aren’t you even a little curious about Jacob? And Axel? Because they’re both on screen 3.”
I looked down at where the two of them were changing. Jacob had just pulled his shirt off. I stared at his six-pack as he unbuttoned his dress pants.
But then my phone dinged with an incoming message. From the kiss thief.
“I don’t want you to think less of me. Just know that I wished you’d been my first everything too.”
Sophie’s jaw dropped. “It’s definitely a dude. He basically admitted he’s slept with a million people. A woman would never say that. I mean, maybe the last part because it’s sweet. But never the first part. She would have just pretended to be a virgin.”
“So it’s not Gigi?”
“Highly doubtful.”
“Wait! Fast forward in the footage to like one minute ago. Maybe someone will be texting in the locker room!”
“You’re a genius.” Sophie sped up the footage to exactly one minute ago. But there were only like five people in the locker room. And they were all just changing out of their workout clothes.
I kept watching until it didn’t make any sense to keep watching. I sighed. “He’s so elusive.”
“Should we rewind the footage again to look for the mascot?”
I stared at her. We both knew that wasn’t why she wanted to rewind the footage. And it was a really good thing only I had the login info, or she was going to really misuse it. “Let’s watch all the footage on like 5x speed just to see if there’s any hint of the mascot.”
“Boo.”
But we were both glued to the screen as we watched the footage in its entirety. And there wasn’t one sign of the mascot. Not even a lone feather.
“Maybe we’ll catch him tomorrow,” Sophie said.
“Yeah, maybe.” But I was starting to realize there were a lot of holes in my plan. Did the mascot even practice? Or did he just show up for games? He might not make an appearance until Saturday. And by then it would be too late. I’d already be making out with a third of the football team.
“Hey, girls,” Aunt Daphne said as she carried in a stack of books and papers. “How was your day?”
“Great, Mom,” Sophie said.
“Pretty good,” I said.
She smiled and sat down next to me on the couch. “I see that you’re ungrounded again.”
“And back to flats and unrolled skirts. Even though Liam is always wearing his uniform wrong.”
Aunt Daphne shook her head. “If you’re father isn’t careful, you’re going to just go crazy when you’re finally off on your own in college.”
“Like my mom?”
She looked shocked. “I did not say that.”
I laughed.
“Definitely didn’t say that.”
“I know, I was just kidding.”
She shook her head. “Do you girls want to turn on a show while I grade some papers before dinner?”
Sophie’s mom was a teacher. But she was a cool teacher that respected boundaries and didn’t teach at our school.
“Absolutely,” I said. “Should we do one of those cooking shows you both like so much?”
“No!” Sophie and Aunt Daphne said in unison.
I laughed. “Okay then.” I’d been joking. You couldn’t watch cooking shows with either of them. Or RJ. They all ended up dry heaving from the combinations. They had very unadventurous palates.
I grabbed the remote to turn on something less offensive.
And then I heard a giggling sound from behind us.
“Did anyone else hear that?” I asked.
“Hear what?” Sophie asked.
“I swear I heard...” I shook my head. “Never mind.” I hit the button to turn on the TV and the remote exploded in my hand, somehow shooting pudding straight into my face.
The giggling sound turned into full laughter as Uncle Rob walked around the couch.
“Uncle Rob!”
That just made him laugh harder.
I wiped the pudding out of my eyes.
“Told you that you should have borrowed a change of clothes,” Sophie said. “I knew a pudding prank was afoot.”
Yeah. I wiped the rest of the pudding out of my eyes. But I was smiling. I’d really missed coming over here.
It was easy to not be worried about kiss thieves and kissing booths when you were laughing. But as the night went on, it was a little harder not to be worried about tomorrow. The brief moments I’d had alone with Axel recently hadn’t been great. And I didn’t know what a whole night with him was going to bring.
And for some reason, when I got home and climbed into bed, I rewound the footage again. This time I watched as Axel pulled off his shirt.
I swallowed hard.
I’d been trying so hard to get him out of my system. But it was hard when he’d been in it my whole life. I stared at his six-pack. Was it his abs I’d tried to molest in that snake infested closet? Was that possible?
It didn’t seem like it. I tried to picture today’s kiss. But I couldn’t picture anything because it had been dark. And my stupid nose had only picked up the smell of cleaning supplies. Not expensive cologne or the smell of freshly cut grass.
I clicked out of the footage and pulled up the last text from my kiss thief. I wanted to believe it was Jacob. I needed it to be Jacob. I wanted to move on so my heart would stop hurting so much. I texted him back: “I wish you’d saved all your firsts for me too.”