Scarred Alphas (Ghost Alpha Unit #5)

Chapter 1 – COSIMA

COSIMA

Prince of Surhiira.

The words circle in my brain like vultures, picking at the remains of everything I thought I knew. Everything I believed.

The crown fucking prince.

The food I just ate feels like I swallowed cement instead. My hand trembles in Raven's gentle grip, and I jerk it away. Even his gentle touch is too much right now.

"I apologize," Raven says, his voice soft with regret. "I just assumed he'd told you. I thought—"

"That makes two of us," I mutter. The words burn my fucking throat.

Geo leans against the counter, his one eye watching me with unusual softness. Maybe it’s sympathy. It’d better not be pity. "Knew he was an asshole," he grumbles, looking away.

Knight shifts closer, sensing my distress, his scarred blue eyes softening the impassive expression of his silver mask. His warmth should be comforting, but right now, I can't stand all the walls pressing in, can't bear the weight of their eyes.

I need space.

Room to breathe before I suffocate on betrayal.

"I need some fresh air," I manage to say, pushing myself away from the counter so violently the stool nearly topples over.

I storm out of the kitchen, my heart hammering.

The burgundy dress swishes around my ankles, suddenly too tight, too constricting.

The tunnels feel narrower, the air thicker.

I hear heavy footsteps behind me—Knight, always my shadow.

Then lighter ones. Raven, no doubt. Then the heavier tread of Geo.

I whirl around to face them, pressing my back against the cool concrete wall, feeling cornered all of a sudden. "I need a minute. Alone."

They all hesitate. Three alphas, each so different, yet each radiating the same protective instinct that makes me want to scream right now.

"Please," I add, hating how my voice cracks on the word.

Knight growls softly, clearly reluctant, but he takes a slow step back.

Raven bites his lip, warring with himself.

"Five minutes," Geo says gruffly, grabbing Raven's arm and physically dragging him away. "Come on, kid. Let her breathe."

They retreat down the hall, Raven throwing concerned glances over his shoulder, Knight's massive frame retreating with obvious reluctance. Knight glances back at me one more time at the end of the hall, his normally fairly blank gaze so full of concern, I think he might decide not to keep walking.

I manage a stiff smile, choking back the tears burning in my eyes, and give him a little wave.

He growls worriedly, but he follows Geo and Raven.

As soon as they're out of sight and I don’t hear Knight’s heavier footsteps anymore, I'm moving again, my feet carrying me blindly through the tunnels. I have no particular destination in mind. Just a desperate need to escape the suffocating feeling.

The man I've loved for years, the alpha whose scent made me feel safe when every other alpha so far had made me recoil, the man who promised to take me away from everything…

He never once mentioned he was royalty.

Never said anything that even implied it. I knew he had his secrets—things he claimed were too dangerous for me to know—but this?

How many times had we talked about "after"? After the war. After my father's schemes. After all of it, when we could finally be together. When he would take me away from all of it. From Reinmich, from the Council, from Monty.

I knew Azarel was from Surhiira, of course. That much was obvious. But he only rarely spoke of it as a distant home. Never as the place where he was heir to the godsdamned throne.

I take a turn, then another, moving on instinct. I find myself facing a metal ladder leading up to what looks like another hatch. An exit. Fresh air. I climb without hesitation, my hands gripping the cold metal rungs.

The walls press in harder, my breath coming in short, painful gasps. No. Not this again. Not now.

The fog starts to creep at the edges of my vision, that familiar hollow feeling spreading outward from the back of my head and tingling across my scalp.

Dissociation.

My old friend. My constant unwanted companion when everything is too much.

I grit my teeth to fight it back. I'm always afraid that one day, I'll dissociate a little too hard and I won't come back the same. And I especially hate the feeling that I'm not in control.

It hits me that despite everything that's happened, I haven’t dissociated in… how long has it been? I have no idea. Weeks. Maybe more. Certainly not since I woke up in Nikolai's dungeon.

All the running, all the fighting, all the chaos, and this is what finally pushes me over the edge.

I fumble with the hatch, my fingers clumsy and numb. It won't budge.

"Need a hand?"

I nearly fall off the ladder in surprise. Geo stands at the bottom, looking up at me with that maddeningly calm expression.

"Thought you were giving me five minutes," I snarl.

"Been seven," he says with a shrug, not budging an inch even as my hand twitches at my side, itching to give him a few more scars with my pointed nails if he tries to keep me from going up there. "You look like you're about to pass out."

I cling to the ladder, hating the tears that burn behind my eyes. “I’m fine,” I grit out.

"Sure you are." He climbs up, reaching past me to unlock the hatch with a key I didn't know was necessary. "When I feel like that, sometimes it helps to shoot something."

The hatch creaks open, and cold air rushes in. I climb out onto the surface, breathing deeply despite the tinge of diesel and dust and gods know what else in the air. Geo follows, surprisingly graceful for such a massive alpha.

"Shoot something?" I give a dry, brittle laugh as he hauls himself through the hatch and joins me topside. "Like a person?"

He shrugs, lips quirking. "Sometimes."

The wasteland stretches out around us, bleak and oddly peaceful. Oblivious to the fact that my own private world has been tilted on its head. The sky is heavy with dark green clouds, the air thick with the swampy scent of a fast approaching radiation storm.

"Here." Geo offers me a gun I hadn't noticed tucked into his waistband.

I hesitate, then take it.

"That's a risk, isn't it?" I ask, feeling the weight of the weapon in my palm. "Giving a gun to an omega who might be having a mental breakdown?"

He chuckles, a low sound that reminds me of stones rolling down a mountainside. "Life's full of risks. Follow me."

I trail after him as he moves a short distance from the hatch. He kicks something in the ground, revealing a hidden panel beneath a carpet literally caked in dirt. He stomps on a switch with the heel of his combat boot and mechanical targets spring up from the wasteland.

They’re crude silhouettes of human figures with round tin spray painted faces displaying varying degrees of comical anger, moving back and forth on rattling tracks. A few even have shoddy armor full of bullet holes hanging off them.

"Guard training," he explains. "Can't have my men shooting at each other. Well, not all the time."

I look down at the gun in my hand, then at the targets. They're simple, but they're better than nothing. I take aim at one and pull the trigger.

The recoil surprises me and the shot goes wide, missing by at least a few feet.

"Want some help?" Geo offers, keeping his distance, respecting my space.

I nod wordlessly. The distraction is helping keep the numbness at bay, at least. I still don't trust any of them enough to be in that state.

Well… okay. I would trust Knight.

But I doubt he'd know how to handle it. He’d probably think I’m dying and tear everyone apart.

Geo steps closer, his scent surprisingly pleasant.

Earthy and solid, like stone after a warm rain.

He looks like he’d smell like cigars and whiskey, but while there is that slight undertone clinging to him, it isn’t part of his scent.

I’m not used to alphas that smell good to me.

Guess life’s full of fucking surprises right now.

I let him reach for my arms, adjusting my stance with his rough, warm palms, but keeps a respectful distance.

The proximity doesn't bother me like it usually would, and it isn’t just because I don’t find his scent off-putting. I don't want to think too much about that, either. Not when everything else is already falling apart.

"Square your shoulders," he instructs, his breath tickling my hair. "Feet apart. Both eyes open. And breathe—that's the most important part. Breathe out when you squeeze the trigger."

I follow his directions, focusing on my breathing. In, out. In, out. The simple rhythm helps me channel the chaos of my emotions, gives me something to concentrate on besides the gaping hole where my future used to be.

I squeeze the trigger on an exhale.

The shot hits the target, nowhere close to dead center, but closer than before.

"Again," Geo says.

I fire twice more, each shot hitting the target.

"Not bad," he grunts, almost sounding impressed. "It helps if you picture someone you're pissed at."

An image immediately pops into mind.

Monty's smug face, his possessive touch, the way he paraded me around like a prized mare at auction. My father's indifferent gaze as he sold me to that monster.

His wretched fucking parties.

I fire.

Bullseye.

Geo chuckles. "Nice. Imagining the prince?"

"No," I mutter, taking aim again. "My husband."

A beat of silence follows, and I can feel Geo reassessing me, putting together pieces of a puzzle I didn't realize I'd scattered.

The hatch creaks again. No surprise there.

I knew they wouldn't stay away long. Raven emerges first, golden hair catching the dull light.

Knight follows, his massive frame barely fitting through the opening.

He gives a low growl at Raven, who looks disheveled, like they'd had a confrontation on the ladder.

"Oh, good, we've moved on to the killing phase," Raven says brightly, though his eyes search mine anxiously. "I'm better at that. Just point me in his direction and say the word."

I lower the gun, suddenly exhausted. "No one is killing anyone."

The worry on Raven's face is genuine, though he tries to mask it with a casual shrug. "So, what does this mean, then?" He hesitates. "Are you still planning to leave today?"

I can hear the hope he's trying to hide, and it twists something inside me. One more alpha who thinks he has a claim over me. But unlike the others, he's been honest about it from the start, hasn't he?

"I don't know what I'm going to do," I mutter, looking up at the angry, churning sky. "But the weather's shit. No point in going anywhere today."

I hand the gun back to Geo and head toward the hatch. I need time to think. Time to process. Time to decide what to do now that the future I'd been clinging to has shattered at my feet.

Knight falls into step beside me, his silent, steady presence the only thing that feels solid right now. I don't look back to see if Raven and Geo are following.

One more day in this strange underground refuge. One more day to figure out who the hell I am without Azarel at the center of my plans.

One more day to decide if I even want to find him anymore.