Chapter 6 – COSIMA #3
"Just a little," he murmurs, not looking up. "He was being rude."
"He said your ass was juicy and tried to grab a handful of it," Geo corrects bluntly. "Raven put a knife through his throat before the bastard could blink."
"My ass is juicy," I say pointedly.
"Quite so," Raven agrees breezily, "but if he was a gentleman, he would have admired with his hands to himself, and perhaps he would have lived to tell about it."
"Because you're such a gentleman," Nikolai scoffs.
"You're just pissy you didn't get to kill him," Raven accuses.
"I killed the stripping coordinator," Nikolai barks defensively.
"The what now?" I choke.
"You had no fucking right to do that," Geo growls as if he didn't hear me, jabbing a finger in Nikolai's face. "He's on my payroll, it was my right to bash his skull in." He sits back, glowering. "Fucking weasel here heard me talking to my guards on the phone about it and beat me to the chase."
"You snooze, you lose, old man," Nikolai shoots back.
Geo starts to get up from his chair. "You wanna take this outside?"
"He's not that much older," Raven says. "He just looks rough."
"Do me a favor, kid, and stop trying to defend my honor. Half these gray hairs are your fucking fault."
"Stop it!" I groan, burying my face in my hands. "If you don't stop bitching at each other, my hangover is going to come back." When they keep bickering, I add, "This is a big part of why Knight fucked me and none of you have yet, by the way. He doesn't run his mouth."
Raven puts his cheek on his hand and stares at me. "Yet, you say?" he asks sweetly, batting his light eyelashes at me.
I gulp. Didn't even realize I'd said that.
But it definitely shut them up. Especially Geo, who's giving me a strange and unreadable look like he isn't sure I meant to include him or not.
I'm not even sure myself. But he casts a hesitant glance my way before looking back at Nikolai, and the two alphas stare each other down for a few seconds before Geo finally slumps back in his seat, violently stabs his eggs with a fork, and grumbles something I can't make out.
I'm not sure how to process this information. The casual violence should disturb me more than it does, but after everything I've been through—especially after witnessing Knight tear raiders apart with his bare hands—my threshold for shock has significantly increased.
I just never imagined murder could be… affectionate.
These alphas are going to be the death of me or my sanity. I’m not sure which.
"Thank you," I say finally, surprised by the sincerity in my own voice. "For looking out for me."
Raven glances up, a flash of genuine emotion crossing his face before his usual charming smile slides back into place. "You don't need to thank us. But perhaps next time you feel like a night out, take a bodyguard?"
I feel my face heating up. "I don't usually do things like that."
"Coulda fooled me. You looked like an angel up there," Geo says, freezing as if he's surprised he blurted that out and immediately follows it up by chugging his entire mug of coffee.
I stare at him in confusion. An angel? He clearly isn't obsessed with my scent like the other alphas, but now that I'm thinking about it, the way he looks at me isn't all that different from the way he looks at Raven. The same guarded fondness.
Hmm.
"You were upset," Nikolai says unexpectedly, his voice lacking its usual edge.
I look at him in just as much surprise as I just looked at Geo, wondering if this is his version of comforting me. If so, it's strangely effective. There's no judgment in his tone, just a matter-of-fact acknowledgment.
"I was," I admit quietly. "Am. I don't know. Finding out about Azarel, it's..." I trail off, not sure how to articulate the complex tangle of emotions his deception has left me with. Betrayal, yes, but also confusion, hurt, and a lingering sense of loss for what I thought we had.
More confusing is why I'm even bothering to share those feelings with anyone, let alone alphas.
My mother was my only confidant. I learned early that the very servants who helped raise me were all too happy to report the slightest indiscretion or moment of vulnerability to my father—and later, to my horrible excuse for a husband—in the hopes of gaining favor.
It always struck me as ironic that the more religious among us claim the gods granted omegas with more feelings and sensitivities than any of the other designations, only to give us the least freedom to express them.
Maybe cruel is a better word than ironic.
"It's fucked up," Geo supplies helpfully, refilling my coffee cup. "The guy lied to your face for, what, months? Years?"
"Years," I mutter, staring into the dark liquid. "It's not just that he didn't tell me. He actively pretended to be someone else. A defector from Surhiira, not..."
Not the heir to the throne.
"Men lie," Nikolai says with a shrug. "Especially men with power. They lie to get what they want, and they lie to keep it."
It doesn't sound like he's defending it. There's something bitter in his tone, a personal grudge that makes me wonder what lies have shaped his own past. But I don't ask. I tell myself I don't want to know.
I don't want to get close to any of them.
Knight… he's the exception. He's already close. We share a nearly supernatural bond, and fate clearly planned for our paths to cross. I don't have the heart or the hubris to deny that.
But the rest of them?
They're already starting to worm their way through my defenses, and the most unnerving part is, I don't even think they're trying. Not even Raven. Or at least, he's been open about his intentions from square one.
What other alpha can I say that about?
"The question is," Raven says gently, "what do you want to do about it?"
That is the question, isn't it? The one I've been avoiding since the truth came crashing down around me. What do I want? What can I do?
"I don't know," I confess, feeling the weight of uncertainty pressing down on me.
"Part of me wants to forget I ever knew him.
To just... start over somewhere else. Somewhere he'd never think to look for me.
" I let out a hollow laugh. "But that's not really an option, is it?
Not with my father hunting me down, and apparently half the alphas in the wasteland thinking I'm their mate. "
Knight growls softly at this, his hand moving to rest on the table beside mine—not touching, but close enough that I could reach out if I wanted to.
Oh yeah. He is definitely more aware than he was before.
"You could stay here," Geo offers unexpectedly. When we all turn to look at him in surprise, he scowls defensively. "What? The market could use an omega presence. Brings in more respectable business, less fighting."
I stare at him, trying to determine if he's joking, but his expression remains stubbornly serious.
"That's... generous," I say carefully, "but I don't think hiding is the answer. Not anymore." I take a deep breath, straightening in my seat. "I want answers. I want to know why Azarel lied to me, why he pretended to be someone he's not. I want to know if anything he ever told me was true."
"And how do you plan on getting those answers?
" Nikolai asks, leaning forward even though it makes him wince.
The wounds in his back must still be bothering him.
"Walk up to the gates of Surhiira and ask nicely?
They'll shoot you on sight. Or worse, drag you before the royal family as a curiosity—the omega who entranced their wayward prince. "
His words paint a vivid and unpleasant picture, but I refuse to be deterred. "I'll figure something out. I always do."
"Or," Raven says, setting down his coffee cup with a decisive click, "you could let us help you."
I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him. "And why would you do that? What's in it for you?"
Raven places a hand over his heart in mock offense. "Can't I simply want to assist a beautiful woman in her quest for closure?"
"No," I say flatly.
"Please?" he asks, adding in a sing-song, "I have an idea."
I raise an eyebrow, not bothering to hide my skepticism. "What's your idea?"
Raven gets a gleam in his eye that suggests he's been waiting for the perfect moment to reveal this particular card. "A way to get you into Surhiira safely, and get you face to face with your princely paramour."
He glances around the table, gauging the reactions of the others. Geo looks intrigued, Nikolai suspicious, and Knight... well, Knight's masked face is impassive, obviously, but there's a clear wariness in his blue eyes.
Raven takes a deep breath, and says with dramatic emphasis, "We all go to Surhiira."