Chapter 29 – KNIGHT
KNIGHT
Wraith struggles to his feet.
blood drips from where my claws tore through his shoulder.
his chest heaves.
but those eyes…
those fucking eyes still looking at me like he knows something.
like he's trying to reach something that isn't there.
MOON.
need to find Moon.
her scent calls through the desert air.
sweet. perfect. pulling me like gravity.
start moving toward her.
Wraith blocks my path. hands moving again. those strange shapes. fingers dancing through air like he's painting invisible pictures.
don't understand.
don't want to understand.
swing at him. he dodges. barely. grabs broken metal from train wreckage. sharp edge glints in harsh sun.
think he's going to attack.
finally.
but no.
drops to knees. starts carving in sand.
S-T-O-P
letters.
like the ones I made on wall.
like the ones he wrote in blood.
stop?
stop what?
protecting Cosima?
finding Cosima?
being what I am?
growl builds in chest.
deep and angry.
he looks up at me.
hopeful.
like those letters mean something.
like they change anything.
they don't.
drop to ground.
claw my own message.
N-O
his eyes widen. something like relief crosses his scarred face. thinks we're communicating now. thinks he's getting through.
stupid fucking alpha.
lunge at him before he can carve more lies.
catch him off guard.
we roll through sand again.
his blood mixing with mine.
staining everything red.
but Cosima's scent. stronger now. pulling harder.
throw him off. start running. feet slipping in loose sand. metal arm sparking. but nothing matters except—
there.
there she is.
silver hair shining in sun. violet eyes looking at me. standing in the desert like she's been waiting.
"Cosima," I try to say.
only snarl comes out.
she smiles. soft. sad.
and she reaches for me.
run faster. but she's not getting closer. like chasing moonlight across water. always there. never touchable.
Wraith tackles me from behind. we crash into dune. sand explodes around us.
NO.
she's right there.
RIGHT THERE.
throw him off. look back.
she's gone.
no.
not gone.
different.
world shifts.
bleeds away like watercolor in rain.
see her curled up.
somewhere else.
somewhere that glows silver-white like inside of moon.
walls of pearl and starlight.
air that tastes like dreams.
her knees are drawn up to her chest.
silver hair covering face like curtain.
bare skin pale as moonstone.
small.
fragile.
hiding from world that keeps hurting her.
and I'm there too.
but not... not like this.
look down at hands.
normal hands.
no metal, no claws.
just flesh.
no scars.
touch my face.
no mask.
can feel skin.
can feel normal features.
lips, cheeks, unscarred eyes.
teeth aren't sharp.
normal. human.
everything that was taken is here.
am I… dead?
is this death?
start walking toward her.
ground beneath feet soft.
like walking on clouds.
flowers everywhere.
white flowers scattered across silver nothing.
moon flowers.
growing wild.
beautiful.
like her.
bend down.
pick one.
stem comes away easy in my hand.
another.
another.
gathering them as I walk.
careful not to crush the delicate petals.
don't know why.
just feels right.
feels like something I should do.
something I want to do.
by the time I reach her, arms are full of them.
white blooms spilling over normal hands.
hands that can hold gentle things.
hands that won't tear or break.
kneel beside her.
"Cosima?"
mouth moves.
know it does.
feel it.
lips move.
how?
here—only here—words must exist.
not sound.
but something between us.
she doesn't look up.
stays curled tight.
protecting herself from everything.
even me.
especially me, maybe.
I am a monster.
but look at the flowers in my arms.
look at her.
reach out slowly.
place them beside her.
one by one.
arranging them in circle around her small form.
white petals against silver light.
beauty surrounding beauty.
maybe they'll keep her safe.
maybe they'll keep the dark away.
world tilts.
sand under knees but also not.
here but not here.
fighting Wraith but also kneeling beside her in this strange silver place that smells like moonlight and flowers and salty tears of her grief.
Wraith hits me again.
feel it distantly.
like echoes.
roll with impact but part of me stays here.
watching her.
wanting to comfort.
wanting to speak.
my mouth moves again.
"You're safe. I'm here. I'll always be here."
words have weight here.
no sound.
but substance.
but she pulls tighter into herself.
and as she does, feel myself slipping.
like sand through fingers.
like trying to hold smoke.
no.
NO.
need to stay.
need to fight.
need to protect.
but the more she retreats…
the more I follow.
drawn after her like tide following moon.
can't stop it.
don't want to stop it.
if she hides, I hide with her.
if she runs, I run too.
always.
Wraith pins me down.
hands shaking my shoulders.
but it's far away now.
not important..
in the moon-place, I settle close to her.
hold her in the ring of flowers I made.
she doesn't move.
doesn't speak.
but I stay.
I sit beside her in the silver nothing.
inside the safe light where monsters can't reach.
except… I am a monster.
even here.
even with normal face and normal hands.
still a monster inside.
maybe that's why she won't look at me.
reach out.
almost touch her shoulder.
stop.
what right do I have?
what comfort can a monster give?
but…
but she's alone.
and I know alone.
know it like I know hunger.
like I know pain.
like I know the weight of chains.
so I stay.
don't touch. don't speak.
just exist in same space.
keeping her safe.
keeping her warm.
the flowers glow softly around her.
like tiny moons.
outside, body fights.
feel it happening.
claws slashing.
all automatic now.
body knows what to do without me.
but I'm not there.
I'm here.
with her.
inside our moon.
she shifts slightly.
just small movement.
but it's something.
"Cosima," I try again.
soundless words shimmer the air between us.
she hears.
I know she hears.
world fractures more.
desert and moon-place bleeding together.
see myself from outside.
massive form covered in blood and sand.
Wraith trying to hold me down.
trying to stop me.
from what?
doesn't matter.
only she matters.
if she wants to hide here, we both hide.
and if she wants to disappear…
I'll disappear with her.
body stops fighting.
goes limp.
Wraith stops hitting.
feel him lean close.
checking if I'm alive?
am I?
don't know.
don't care.
she moves again.
tiny shift.
hair parts slightly.
one violet eye visible through silver strands.
looking at nothing.
looking at everything.
looking through me.
but I stay.
I stay.
hard to tell what's real anymore.
was anything ever real?
was she?
is she?
she is too perfect.
would not be a surprise.
Wraith shaking my body now.
can feel it like distant thunder.
he's scared.
can smell his fear spiking.
scared I'm dying.
maybe I am.
Cosima moves again.
pulling knees tighter to chest.
making herself smaller.
smaller.
smaller.
like if she becomes nothing, world can't hurt her.
the flowers around her pulse with soft light.
waiting.
then her breathing changes.
her lips part.
"Hold me…"
her voice is so small.
barely a whisper.
I don't hesitate.
wrap arms around her.
pull her close.
don't have to be careful of claws here.
she fits perfect against chest.
like she was made to be here.
or I was made to hold her.
feel her breathing against me.
shallow.
like even breathing might hurt.
stroke her hair.
silver silk between fingers.
she's real.
we're real.
this is real.
more real than anything else.
then her breathing shifts.
changes.
becomes something else.
panic?
no.
worse.
feels like slipping.
like she's letting go.
"Don't leave me," I plead.
tighten my arms around her.
hold her closer.
but she's becoming less solid.
like mist.
like moonlight on water.
impossible to keep.
the flowers around us start to fade.
petals curling in on themselves.
turning gray.
NO.
shake her gently.
desperate now.
stay.
please stay.
but she's dissolving.
silver hair turning to smoke in my hands.
soft skin becoming nothing.
and then she's gone.
completely.
my arms close around empty air.
the moon-place shatters.
breaks apart like glass.
shards of silver light scattering into void.
and I'm falling.
falling.
back into body.
back into pain.
back into—
my eyes snap fully open.
real eyes.
behind mask.
see blue sky.
harsh sun.
Wraith's face above me.
eyes soft with worry.
hands on my shoulders.
shaking me.
rage explodes through every nerve.
Wraith's eyes go wide.
HE DID THIS.
HIS PACK TOOK HER FROM ME.
roar tears from my throat.
slam fist into Wraith's face.
he flies backward.
crashes into sand.
don't wait.
don't care if he gets up.
MOON.
need to find Moon.
can feel her.
somewhere, she's waking up.
still here.
still alive.