19. Spencer
19
SPENCER
“I f there's one surefire way to make the public forget bad press, it’s introducing something even worse.” My cousin Connor laughed somewhere on the East Coast, and I could hear ice tinkling in his glass like he was enjoying a celebratory drink.
After nearly two weeks of slugging it out in the mud, I was ready to join him.
“This should put an end to it,” he predicted. “I knew for sure once we found those two employees Fields poached from you, we would have it made.”
I sat in front of my open MacBook, checking out one headline after another. Tech guru accused of sabotage and competition. Tech genius poached competitor employees to steal secrets. Tech golden boy used arson, sabotage, bribery to get ahead.
Miles was the third party on our conference call, and he released a huge sigh. “We have one thing he couldn’t get his hands on. Proof.”
He was right. Proof in the form of signed testimonials describing the tactics Damian used to lure employees out of my company and into his. The promises he made, money he wired to their bank accounts through shell companies. He was generally smart enough not to leave a paper trail, but they did. They’d provided printouts of emails they sent him, screenshots of text messages, all of which pointed to very dirty dealings.
The second Connor ran the story this past weekend, the world forgot about me. There was no proof of anything printed about Rowan, whose name was never mentioned, and me. As much as I loathed Damian, I had to give him credit. He knew better than to drag anyone else’s name into this since they could easily sue. No doubt Rowan warned him about that. She wouldn’t want that sort of publicity around her.
In other words, there was no real story outside of unsubstantiated, secondhand rumors. A couple of phone calls to our respective Board members had helped soothe their concerns. Once we presented them with the proof Connor’s investigator pulled together, we were home free.
Since then, one of his thugs must have figured it was a good move to go to the authorities. He lawyered up, ready to talk about certain illegal activities in East Hampton and Silicon Valley, including a recent break-in at a competitor’s offices.
“Stupid sons of bitches like him never stop while they’re ahead,” Connor concluded with a dry laugh. “Enough is never enough. They get away with something small, so they decide to go bigger, until finally, they become so brazen it’s inevitable that they’re caught. I’m only glad I was able to be part of this.”
“I can’t thank you enough, cousin. Really. The same for Lucian and Ivy,” I added, thinking about the amount of effort the two co-directors of the company’s digital media team had put into their social media campaigns. “You’ve been lifesavers.” I meant every word and so much more I couldn’t verbalize. The problem was, I felt none of it. I knew I should, that eventually I might, but not then. Not in my otherwise empty apartment surrounded by what I used to consider solitude but now felt more like loneliness once the call ended.
I should’ve been celebrating. That motherfucker was going down. There was nothing standing in the way of our patent’s approval. We were about to usher in a new era, Miles and me. I should’ve called my friends to see if they would have a drink with me, maybe catch dinner. There was plenty to catch up on.
I couldn’t bring myself to do any of it. I didn’t have it in me to listen to ball-busting and guy talk, either.
I came so close to having everything I never knew I wanted or needed. Life would have been easier and simpler if I had never met my daughter.
I wouldn’t turn my back on her. That much I knew for sure. My lawyer had already reached out to Rowan, and as far as I knew, we were waiting for her to make a move when it came to discussing visitation. I wouldn’t demand custody and put Hannah through that. I was willing to settle for getting to know each other better for now. Of course, that meant telling her I was her father, but she would find out eventually.
I settled back on the sofa, staring at the ceiling. A king in his castle. What the fuck did it get me at a time like this when I couldn’t shake the feeling of losing something I never had? It was my stupid fault for caring as much as I did, letting myself get close to them. I hated that Hannah had to be any part of this, but then I wasn’t the one who decided to talk to the enemy. That was all on Rowan.
The worst part was none of it made a difference for Damian. Not in any positive way. He had dug his own grave by kicking the hornet’s nest, and Rowan had helped him do it. At least he was out of our way for good, even if it meant sacrificing…
Nothing. I had sacrificed nothing because I had nothing. She was a woman I fucked. Somebody I’d spent time with. It didn’t have to be anything more than that. I would move on like I had previously. We would sure as hell be busy once the patent was approved, and I had already taken the extra steps to have the application expedited. There would be more than enough to distract me.
But this wasn’t like before. There was no trip to China in my immediate future. I wasn’t trying to forget a terrible mistake and the fallout that resulted. I couldn’t talk myself into forgetting the very real feelings that had bloomed in me and were now withered.
I was tempted to ignore my phone when it rang. Anyone who needed me at nine on a Monday night could wait. The ringing stopped, and I closed my eyes, soaking in the silence until it rang again. Blowing out a sigh, I sat up and looked down at where the phone sat on the table.
Hannah .
I picked up without thinking, at least a dozen ugly scenarios racing through my head in the time it took me to answer the call and say, “Hello?”
“Hi,” she said. “Um… you told me I could call whenever I wanted.”
The sound of her voice turned my throat into a pinhole. I barely sucked in a breath at first, but I was able to reply, “Yes, of course. I’m glad you called. How are you? Wait. It’s a school night. You’re up pretty late.”
“I know, I know. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why not?” I asked. “Something bothering you?”
“Yeah, actually.” She sounded nervous, poor kid. “I just wanted to ask if you’re still mad at Mom.”
She may as well have punched me. “Did she ask you to call?” I asked, suspicious.
“Oh no!” The way she said it told me it was the truth. “She would kill me if she knew I called you. Please, please don’t tell her. She would never let me use the phone again.”
A little dramatic, but somehow, I believed her. “Who said I’m mad at your mom?”
Her heavy sigh was enough to make me grin despite the situation. “Why does everybody always treat me like a baby? I’m not stupid. I can see things. I hear things. Jeez. Like…”
I waited a beat before prompting. “Like what?”
“I wasn’t supposed to tell you I know this, but… I know you’re my dad. I figured it out,” she blurted out a second later. “I mean, you’re like the only guy Mom has ever introduced me to that she was, like, dating or whatever. And you were so nice to me. And we kind of look alike,” she added.
It was out. She didn’t sound disappointed, which I took as a good sign. “But your mom told you to pretend you didn’t know?”
“She said it would be nicer if you told me yourself. But this is an emergency. So I didn’t want to wait.”
The use of the word emergency made the hair rise on the back of my neck. “What’s happening? You can tell me.”
“Okay, don’t get mad at me or anything, and maybe don’t tell Mom…”
“Hannah…” I sighed.
“Last night, she was fighting with Aunt Ree out on the front porch at Grandmom and Granddad’s house. I wasn’t supposed to be listening, but I couldn’t help it.”
I was torn between wanting to chide her the way I knew I should have and demanding to hear more. “I’ll overlook that for now.”
“Aunt Ree did something bad,” she whispered. “Mom was really mad at her. Something about a guy she was going out with and how he tricked her. Aunt Ree told him stuff she wasn’t supposed to. Like that, you’re my dad. Something about an accident. That was all I could hear, really. Grandmom came in, and I had to pretend I wasn’t listening…” She paused, adding, “Then Mom cried all night. She was supposed to go back to her apartment after dinner, but she stayed here instead and went home this morning. She was too upset last night.”
Déjà vu. Once again, I was left weak by a sudden revelation. Instead of finding my name slandered in the press, I was facing down my own stupid, knee-jerk reaction. “You’re sure that’s what you heard?” I asked, my head spinning, my pulse racing.
“And Mom is so sad,” she continued. “That’s why I called. I was with her every day last week, and she just kind of sat there. She tried to be happy, but she couldn’t. And I heard her crying all the time. Please, don’t tell her I told you,” she added in a rush. “I don’t want her to be embarrassed or anything.”
“I promise,” I assured her almost without thinking. It couldn’t be true, could it? Why would she lie?
Just when I thought she couldn’t break my heart more than she already had, she asked a question that threatened to tear it from my chest. “I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?”
“Listen to me.” If there was one thing I could get right, it was this. “You did nothing wrong. The things that are going on all started before you were born. From way back, a long time ago. You are an amazing, wonderful girl, and I am so glad to get to know you. No matter what happens between me and your mom, that’s not going to change. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Then how come I didn’t see you for two weekends?”
Fuck. She was not making this easy. “You know what? You’re right, it’s unfair. I don’t want to avoid you just because things are messy right now.” That was the nicest way I thought to describe it.
“Why does it have to be messy? Can’t you just make up?”
“Hannah, I’m going to tell you a secret. I messed up. I messed up really bad.” Talk about the understatement of the century. I had single-handedly fucked up the best thing that ever happened to me. I should have let her try to explain. Why didn’t I let her? I’d said unforgivable things. How could I ever make up for that?
“Are you still there?” Hannah asked.
“I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere.” My thoughts were racing, ideas bouncing around inside my skull. “I have to find a way to make it right.”
“What are you going to do?” There was excitement and hope in her voice. I loved hearing it even if I wasn’t quite sure how to respond just yet.
“I’m going to figure it out,” I decided, getting up from the couch and putting aside the depressed bum act I’d perfected over the past week or so. “And I think I’m going to need your help. Will you help me?”
Her gasp brought a genuine smile to my face. “Yeah! Just tell me what to do.”
Out of the long list of mistakes I’d committed, pushing Rowan away had to sit near the top. I could only hope it wasn’t too late to win her back.