35. Laila
35
LAILA
I feel like a little kid finding out I’m going to Disney World. “Kira wants to invite me to dinner?”
It’s not like meeting her didn’t go well. She was nice, and we lounged by the pool and chatted about pregnancy and how magical and awful it is watching yourself turn into a Willy Wonka -style human blueberry.
But then she left, and that was that.
It’s been a few days without any texts or contact. Dom hasn’t even mentioned Kira, and I was starting to think it was all a lonely fever dream.
“Tonight at our place,” Dominik confirms. “Kira wants you and Arsen there for a double date. She thinks it’ll be fun.”
If I was a normal girl in a normal relationship, then I’d agree; it would be fun. Right now, though, I’m a heavily pregnant surrogate in a fake marriage, walking a tightrope over the fiery, swirling pit of unknowns that is my future.
“Fun” seems absurdly optimistic.
“Has she met us? What about me and Arsen together screams ‘fun’ to her?” Dominik bites his lower lip in a wince, and I sigh. “She doesn’t know we aren’t really married, does she?”
“My lady is a romantic,” he explains. “She wouldn’t understand. And anyway, she’s always had a bit of an issue with Arsen. I didn’t want to make things worse.”
I raise my eyebrows. “What kind of ‘issue’?” My brain scrambles to come up with theories, but only one option presents itself. “Who did Arsen kill?”
“Jesus Christ! It’s not that big of a deal. You think Arsen whacked Kira’s Nana, and I’m still working for him?”
I throw up my hands. “Well, I don’t know. Maybe!”
He shakes his head. “It’s nothing like that. It’s just—you know how Arsen is. The man comes across as?—”
“Cold?” I guess. “Terrifying? Soulless and ever-vigilant like the Eye of Sauron?”
“Aloof,” he finishes politely. “But he’s different with you. I want Kira to see it.”
It’s a miracle I didn’t already slip up on Saturday and tell Kira about my contract with Arsen. But if she spends any more time with us together, she’s definitely going to figure it out. Then, the one and only friend I’ve made in the last year might not be interested in knowing me anymore.
Dom must be able to see the indecision on my face. “No pressure. I can always make an excuse for you if you want, but… she’s already started cooking for tonight.”
I groan. “Guilt tripping me is not nice.”
“I’m not the nice one. That’s Kira.”
“Okay—but if this is actually a setup for a surprise baby shower or something, I will kill you. Slowly.”
“Absolutely not. I wouldn’t let that happen.” He rests his elbows on his knees. “Kira doesn’t know the situation with you all, so I’m sorry she tried to force the baby shower on you. Arsen told me about it.”
I can’t hold back the bitter laugh that comes out of me. “I’m sure he thought that was hilarious.”
“Why would it be hilarious?”
“Throwing a baby shower for a mom who won’t even be around once the baby is born?” I ignore the stab of pain in my chest, grimacing through it. “Kira should throw one for Arsen, if she throws one for anyone at all.”
I can’t look at him, but I feel Dominik’s eyes boring into the side of my face. “What do you mean? Arsen’s agreed to allow you contact with the baby after?—”
“I don’t even wanna start with the semantics of that one. ‘Agreed’? ‘Allow’? ‘Contact’? Even if I did know what all that meant in this extremely niche set of circumstances, it wouldn’t matter. At the end of the day, whatever happens will be on Arsen’s terms, contract be damned. It’s his world. We’re all just living in it.”
I close my eyes and remind myself to inhale and exhale. I won’t be Arsen’s wife forever. I’ll have to move out eventually. Then I’ll only be able to see my baby when he says I can. What if he decides that he prefers not to have me around at all?
I want to stop there, but now that I’ve let a few concerns slip over the edge of the dam, I can feel the rest rushing out of me.
“It’s not like we have a contract for that part of the deal, do we?” I burst. “He probably just said it so I’d stop arguing about getting married. The only piece of paper I have says that the baby in my belly belongs to Arsen and Arsen alone.”
A sharp pain shoots up my side, and I clutch my ribs with a wince.
Dominik hurries in to steady me. “You’re getting all worked up over nothing.”
“Dominik, this is my life. My daughter’s life.”
“Arsen is a good man?—”
“No, Arsen is a powerful man,” I correct. “And powerful men have a habit of doing whatever the hell they want. Even—and maybe even especially— at the expense of other people.”
Dominik opens his mouth and shuts it again. He runs a hand over his face and finally says, “You just don’t know him like I do.”
“Actually, I don’t know him at all.” I blink away the tears that have accumulated at the corners of my eyes. “But I signed a contract, so I might as well play my part. Tell Kira I’ll be at dinner tonight, whether Arsen shows up or not.”
“Like I said, you don’t know him like I do,” Dom says. “He’ll be there.”
“I can’t believe you live right next door!” I yelp when Kira opens the door. “How did I not know that?”
“Because you’ve been conversing with my husband all this time, and men are useless at sharing information.” Kira rolls her eyes and pulls me into a hug. “Boys. They never change.”
I squeeze back, making eyes at Dominik over her shoulder. See? my wagging eyebrows say. I told you I’d be here alone. I told you he wouldn’t come.
I’m gloating, but it’s only because it’s my only consolation. Some sad, buried part of me still wishes Arsen was next to me.
Dominik ignores me and ushers us both inside so he can shut the door.
“It’s not much,” Kira says, looking around her house with anxious, wringing hands. “But we like it.”
Kira and Dom’s place is probably one-tenth the size of Arsen’s property, but it’s sweet and cozy. The perfect first home for a young couple just starting their family.
“It’s gorgeous, Kira. Really. I love it.”
“I can’t even take credit for the design,” Kira admits, leading me into their living room. “Arsen gifted us the cottage when we got married.”
“That was… nice of him.”
The ever-growing cynical part of me wonders if he wasn’t just trying to keep his employees close. Can’t blame the commute for your tardiness if you live a stone’s throw away.
Or maybe he really did whack Kira’s Nana and this house was the consolation.
I’m studying her face, trying to catch a sign of the complex feelings Dominik hinted at earlier. But before I can see anything, a dark, silky voice murmurs from the corner.
“I’m nothing if not nice.”
I whirl around to find Arsen lounging in an armchair, a drink already in his hand. “You’re here!”
Dominik fires back the same I-told-you-so look I was giving him a moment ago before he walks into the kitchen.
“Of course I’m here.” Arsen glides over and wraps an arm around my waist. “We were invited.”
Kira is watching us carefully, so I sink deeper into Arsen’s side. To keep up appearances.
I press a hand to his chest and ignore the trembling in my fingers. “Well, yeah. I just assumed you were busy tonight. That’s all.”
Arsen holds my tighter. “I’m never too busy for you, my dear wife.”
Our eyes lock for a few seconds too long. The tingling in my hip has nothing to do with pain, and everything to do with the way he’s holding me.
Just tight enough to be possessive.
Just gentle enough to be caring.
Before I can read way too much into why Arsen is here at all, Kira claps her hands together. “Now that I have you both here, why don’t I give you a tour of my favorite room in the whole house?”
“Lead the way.” I rush off after her, mostly to get out of Arsen’s reach. I like it a little too much to allow his hand to linger.
But the moment I walk into Kira’s favorite room, my stomach lurches.
The nursery is as gorgeous and cozy as the rest of the house. There’s a crib and a rocking chair with a woodland mural on the wall and hand-painted details on the drawers and shelves. I can see Kira and Dom in this room, their baby in their arms. They’ve put so much love in here already; it’s soaked into the wood, the floors, the air itself.
“Wow,” I breathe, a catch in my throat. “It’s perfect, Kira.”
“I’m sure your nursery will be twice as lovely.”
The smile she gives me makes me want the soft, white carpet under my feet to open up and swallow me whole.
I open my mouth to say… shoot, something , though I have no idea what, when Dominik pokes his head through the door. “Come on. Dinner is ready.”
“I just wanted to show them the?—”
“And you’ve shown them,” Dominik interrupts. “Now, I want to show them my risotto before it gets cold.”
“Why are you so stressed about this risotto?” Kira teases, following him down the hall to the kitchen. “Are you cheating on me with the Barefoot Contessa or something…?”
I hear them bickering playfully all the way. But Arsen is still here with me, drinking in all the details of the room. His face is unreadable.
“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I manage through a tight throat.
When he looks over at me, there’s something in his eyes, though I’ll be damned if I know how to capture that sight in a word. “It’s a room,” he says at last.
Then he walks out.