59. Laila
59
LAILA
Arsen leaves the room, and Gedeon is still staring at his feet.
“Did you help him plan this?” I demand.
He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Laila. There’s nothing I can do.”
The resignation in his voice almost brings me to my knees. “I don’t understand. Why do I have to leave? What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing. You didn’t do—” Finally, he looks at me. “You’re in danger. Arsen wants to get you as far from here as possible. He’s doing this to protect you. And Nina, too.”
I can’t bite back the bitter laugh that bursts out of me. “Maybe you missed the part where he blamed me for Dominik getting shot.”
“He doesn’t blame you. He blames himself.”
“Then explain all this!” I fling my hands around to encompass the bomb that just dropped on my life. “Where am I going? When are we coming back?”
The sunken look in his eyes is all the answer I need. “I’ll be with you. I’ll be your security, so you won’t be all alone.”
“But Arsen…”
Gedeon’s eyes darken as he turns for the door. “You’ve only got a few minutes to say goodbye to your mother, Laila. Don’t waste them.”
The walk to my mother’s room feels endless. Nina is heavy in my arms, asleep again, thankfully. That’s about the only thing to go right tonight.
I have to knock on her door for a long time before Evelyn finally answers, her eyes puffy with sleep.
“Laila? Is everything alright?” She takes one look at my face and hers drains of color. “What’s wrong?”
I swallow back tears. “I need to see my mom.”
“Do you want me to take Nina?”
Silently, I slip Nina into Evelyn’s arms and move to my mother’s bedside. She looks so small in her massive bed, the covers drawn up to her chin. The windows are open and moonlight streams through them, turning her pale cheeks a blue-tinged silver.
“Mom,” I whisper, my voice trembling. “Mom?”
It takes a couple more nudges to wake her up. When she does, it’s all at once—her eyes flying open, her body jerking upright as though I screamed.
“Laila, what’s wrong? What’s going on?”
I grab her too-thin hand and hold it to my chest. “I have to leave tonight. Nina and me. I’m not sure when we’ll be coming back.”
Mom frowns, squinting at my face as though she can’t quite understand what I’m saying. That makes two of us.
“Wh…where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet.”
She pulls the covers off her legs. “I’ll come with you.”
One look at her frail arms sticking out of her night shirt, and I know Arsen was right. It hurts more than I know how to put into words. “Mom, you’re sick. You need to stay right here.”
“But why do you have to go?” She glances out the window. “It’s the middle of the night. You can’t just take Nina and go. What does Arsen say?”
“He says that this is necessary. He’ll explain everything to you tomorrow.”
Because fuck knows I can’t do it. Not if I’m going to maintain any kind of composure.
There are voices just outside the door. My time’s running out.
The problem is that Mom’s time is running out, too. Permanently. And he’s still forcing me to leave her. “Nina and I will be alright. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.”
The moment the words are out of my mouth, they feel like a lie.
Thick, ugly sobs collect in my throat. I have to get out now or I’ll completely lose my shit. I can’t allow her to see me like that. “I just wanted to say goodbye.”
Mom is shaking her head, her eyes teary. “Why does it feel like I won’t see you again?”
“I love you, Mom. You’re the best mother a girl could ever ask for.” A traitorous tear slides down my cheek.
I kiss her forehead quickly and run out of the room. Evelyn is standing on the other side, rocking Nina in her arms.
She pulls back when she sees me, eyes narrowed. “Laila… what’s going on?”
I take Nina from her, ignoring her gaze. “I’m sorry for leaving like this. Please take care of my mom for me.”
“Of course I will. But?—”
“I’m sorry,” I choke out around a sob. “I have to go.”
My footsteps echo through the empty house.
In the driveway, Gedeon sits behind the wheel of the SUV and Arsen is standing by the open back door.
He leans close, and I catch my breath, but he just presses a kiss to Nina’s forehead. Then he plucks her gently from my arms and straps her into her car seat. His hands are careful, as tender as ever, and yet, somehow, lifeless. Robotic.
Cold.
“You don’t have to do this,” I whisper, knowing already that it won’t make any difference. “I know you’re going through something, but we’re a team now. Let me help. Let me be here for you. Don’t push me away again.”
“We don’t have time for this. You’ll miss your plane.”
“I guess I should be grateful it’s not a rocket ship,” I mutter. “How far away do you plan to send me?”
“Gedeon will be with you.” He says that like it matters. Like there’s anyone else I’d rather be with. “I’m needed here.”
“What about us?” I croak. “We need you, too, Arsen!”
“There is no changing this, Laila. Plans have been made. You will be on that flight tonight.”
I glance over his shoulder towards the house. “My mother?—”
“—will be safe and comfortable. I promise you that.”
“Screw you and your promises!” I scream, pounding my fists against his chest. It feels good. It feels damn good. “You’re a liar. A goddamn liar!”
He lets me hit him. Over and over again. He doesn’t stop me. He doesn’t even try to avoid the blows. He just stands there and takes it.
I don’t stop until my knuckles are throbbing and my throat is raw and hoarse.
“If you’re done,” he murmurs, “Gedeon is waiting.”
“Don’t you care at all? My mother is dying. You know how much she means to me. If I leave and she dies…” I lose my words to another wrenching sob. “… I won’t be there to say goodbye.”
“You said goodbye tonight.”
Tears pour unchecked down my cheeks. “If you do this, Arsen, I swear to you, I will never forgive you. Not for as long as I live.”
The muscle in his jaw twitches. His eyes meet mine, but there’s nothing in them. Not an ounce of life or compassion or humanity.
Lifeless.
Robotic.
Cold.
“If I get my way, that will be a long, long time.”
Then he pushes me into the back of the vehicle. As the car rolls down the drive, Arsen doesn’t even wait to watch us go.
He’s already gone.