14
I spend the entire next day working on my research. When Johanna returns to our apartment, she enthusiastically shares everything about the night she spent with the guy from the bar.
“So, are you going to see him again?” I ask smiling.
“No way,” she laughs. “Once again, it's a proof that a man can be the smartest most interesting thing in the world, and you can spend an unforgettable intellectual evening with him, but…” she laughs again, “he is a complete failure in bed.”
She joins me in the living room with her books, and when evening falls, I say bye sadly. I wish I could change places with her. I wish I could just stay in the living room and continue studying.
“What about the paper on semiconductor devices that we need to hand in?” she asks just before I leave.
“Oh no! I completely forgot about that,” I answer, frustrated.
“Don’t worry,” she soothes me with her beautiful smile. “I’ll finish mine and then I’ll do yours for you.”
“You’re the best friend ever,” I say relieved and leave the apartment.
Another ordinary and routine evening. Regular customers, new customers and the girls are working hard. The partners and Ralph are sitting at the round table, and when I serve their drinks, Scarface thanks me nodding his head. It's better this way, I think to myself and refuse to accept the fact that I’m disturbed by the fact that he’s ignoring me. The bar starts to empty and I sit down at the counter and drink some water. I keep looking over at the round table and suddenly Scarface turns his head to me, winks and goes back to talk with his friends. My face gets all hot and my stomach clenches in excitement from this tiny acknowledgment, but I pull myself together quickly. He’s trying to play games with me. He probably thinks that by ignoring me, he'll make me come running. But he’s wrong.
“Charlie, why do you think these girls are willing to sell their bodies for money?” I ask and yawn.
“The answer is in the question,” he laughs but then grows serious. “Every one of them has her reasons,” he says, washing the glasses in the sink.
“But it’s such a terrible thing to do,” I continue, even though I feel he is not comfortable with this conversation.
“I think you should open up that pretty head of yours a little. There are hard and painful things in the world too, not just the sterile facts that you memorize from your textbooks.” He turns off the faucet and wipes his hands on a towel. “There is theory and there is reality. Sometimes reality is not nice or pleasant.” He starts to dry the glasses.
“But we create our own reality, at least part of it. We have control over our lives, we can make choices.”
“Not always,” he answers firmly. “Try sitting down and listening to their life stories, you might find out some things that will surprise you.”
I shrug. I have no intention of sitting down for a conversation with any of them. I start looking through my emails on my cellphone.
“Yes!” I shout and he looks at me curiously. “I’m going to the conference!” I shake my shoulders in a dance move. “I’m going to the conference.” I continue dancing and he starts to smile but then becomes serious.
“When are you going? Did the boss give you permission?”
Permission from the boss? “Mmmm… next week for three days and I forgot that I need to get permission,” I grumble and look at the round table. I’ll wait for everyone to leave and then I’ll talk to him. He has no reason to say no, and there is no way that I’ll miss out on this opportunity. Three days of intellectual bliss with the most brilliant man I’ve ever met.
When I finish clearing the last glasses, the girls leave. Tommy and Mike leave right after them and Scarface is still talking to Ralph. They both fold their papers and I realize that I have to find the courage and do it now.
“May I talk to you for a minute?” I ask, and Scarface squints his eyes questioningly.
“Elena, what's happening with our date?” Ralph asks with a smile, and I just want him to go away.
“Not now. I need to talk to Liam privately.”
“So...” he won’t let it go. “So, what do you say? Will you let me take you out on a date for strange people like you?”
“OK, fine,” I say in an attempt to get rid of him. He seems surprised by my answer, but shakes Scarface’s hand contentedly and leaves.
“I think you’ve got yourself in trouble now.” Scarface looks annoyed.
“I won’t really go out with him,” I say mockingly.
“Around here people don’t go back on their word.” He still sounds annoyed and I realize that this is not the best way to start the conversation I need to have with him.
“Sit with me for a minute,” I plead and he puts his file back on the table and sits. He lights a cigarette and I sit down opposite him. “I need three days off next week.”
He blows out thick smoke and doesn’t respond. “I want to go to an important conference, I’ve even been invited.”
“Who invited you?” he asks and drops the ash on the floor. I don’t think I owe him any explanations, but I don’t want to get into an unnecessary argument with him right now.
“My professor,” I say nervously and push the ashtray closer to him. “Three days of amazing professional panels.” I close my eyes and picture myself there. “The greatest minds in the world will be at this conference and I have the opportunity to go.” A smile spreads across my face and I open my eyes. He is looking at me suspiciously.
“So…” I urge him, “It’s only three days,” I put my palms together pleadingly.
“Where will you sleep?” he asks the most unexpected question.
“I guess a hotel in San Francisco.”
“And this professor of yours…” He drops the ash on the floor again, as if he wants to undermine my peace. “Is he a geeky older guy like I think he is?”
“Older than me,” I reply truthfully.
“OK, I don’t see why not.” He stands up and I’m so excited that I launch at him and hug him. When I realize that he’s not hugging me back I move away awkwardly. Suddenly his hands are on my hips and he lays me down on the table, spreads my legs and stands between them.
I don’t even have time to blink and he’s lying on top of me. His lips are touching mine and his tongue fiercely pries them apart. His kiss is so intense that I feel the heat in places I didn’t even know exist. His hips rock back and forth and his arm finds its way under my shirt and grabs hold of my breast. He massages it roughly and I want to feel him inside me so badly right now. His lips leave mine and I hold his head firmly and bring him back to my lips. This time my tongue explores his mouth and I feel the same wetness spreading between my thighs. His lips move away again and I take a deep breath. My chest is heaving up and down.
“Intellectual passion has nothing on this kind of passion,” he pants and pulls me up. “You can’t beat your natural instincts.” He holds me behind my neck and leans toward me, kissing and biting my lower lip. “But you can keep on trying.” He moves away and I look at him so frustrated, still panting heavily. “I’m not driving you home,” he says and rearranges his belt buckle.
We go outside, the street is so quiet. He waits with me for a cab to arrive. He tells the driver where to take me and hands him some money. “Thanks for the time off,” I say, confused and the cab drives off.
Over the next few workdays I feel myself seeking him out but he makes no attempt to be alone with me and I have no reason to ask him to. I do my job quietly and efficiently. Every so often, when I look over at the round table, I see him looking at me. It's better this way, I try to convince myself. Every physical contact between us just confuses me and I really don’t need that. My future is wonderful, and his can only be terrible. This place distracts me, our strange relationship unbalances me and I have to remember what is really important. I’m going to the conference with a person I worship. He’ll be all mine for three whole days. I glance at the clock and see that in just a few hours my shift will be over and tomorrow morning I’ll be living the dream.
An overweight, sweaty man walks in, besides him walks a skinny girl with her head down. She looks like she’s about thirteen or fourteen, no older than that and I don’t understand what she’s doing here. I sit on the barstool and watch them curiously. The man sits down across from the blondes and signals the girl to take a chair and sit down next to him. I jump up from my seat and go over to them.
“What would you like to drink?” I ask, still examining the girl’s delicate face, I’m shocked to see dark bruises beside her eyes.
“I’ll have a beer,” the man says, drumming his fingers on the table.
“What about you, sweetie?” I ask the girl. She raises her head, surprised.
“I-I—” she stutters in a heavy Russian accent, “I want Coke.”
“She’ll just have a glass of water,” the man says angrily, and she lowers her head again. I nod and walk to the next table, wiping it down with a cloth while I listen to their conversation.
“This idiot has no idea what she needs to do,” the man says to the blonde and I see her glancing towards the round table. She is waiting for Scarface to look at her, but he’s busy reading through his file. “I’ll pay you by the hour and you teach her.” He drums his fingers on the table again and turns around to me. “Bitch, where’s my beer?” he shouts at me, and Scarface raises his head. I choose not to answer and walk over to the counter.
“Give me a beer and a Coke,” I ask Charlie and notice that he’s also staring at the table. He puts the two bottles in front of me, and when I turn around towards the tables I see something strange going on, no talking, only small head movements. Scarface shakes his head at the blonde and she nods in approval. Scarface then looks at Charlie and this time he nods and Charlie winks at him. I have no idea what they’re planning, but I silently watch as I walk towards the table and put the beer bottle in front of the man.
“How old is she?” asks the blonde with a smile.
“What do you care?” he answers rudely and takes a swallow of beer. I put the Coke in front of the girl, and she stares at me, confused. “What are you doing, bitch? I told you to bring her a glass of water,” he raises his voice and his disgusting saliva sprays across my arm.
“It’s on the house,” I answer calmly and wipe my arm with a napkin.
“I'm not paying for it, that’s for sure,” he says bitterly and gulps his beer. Tommy comes downstairs and Mike comes in from the club. They sit down with Scarface and glance at the table. Once again another silent conversation starts, using nothing but gestures.
“Who owns the white Ford outside?” Charlie calls out, as if there are any other customers here besides the disgusting man.
“Mine,” the man answers and wipes his sweaty forehead with a napkin. “Why?”
“It’s being towed.” Charlie says with a smile, drying the wine glass he’s holding.
“Motherfuckers!” the man says loudly and runs outside. Tommy yawns and counts his fingers out loud. “One, two, three, boom.”
I hear brakes screeching and then a crash.
The bouncer opens the door. “One of your customers got run over in a hit and run. What should I do?” He sounds amused and I put my hand over my mouth in surprise.
“How bad is it?” Scarface asks, stifling a smile.
“Critical,” the bouncer winks at him and I turn pale as I realize what all the gesturing was about.
“Move him into the other alley,” Tommy instructs dryly. “I can’t be bothered with stupid police investigations.”
The bouncer nods and leaves.
“Now, what shall we do with this sweet thing?” the blonde asks and strokes the girl’s head. The girl doesn’t realize that anything unusual happened and she smiles at her, embarrassed.
“She must come from Yuri’s gang of bastards,” Charlie says from the bar. “Only those scumbags would sell little girls.”
“I’ll take care of it,” Scarface says calmly. He pulls his cellphone out and dials. “Vladimir, there was an accident outside our bar. One of our customers, who I believe is your customer too, was run over. He left your unused merchandise here.” He is quiet and then addresses the blonde. “Ask her what her name is.”
The blonde is still stroking the girl’s head as she asks what her name is and how old she is. “Paulina, and she’s thirteen,” she says and shakes her head in disgust.
"Tell him he's a son of a bitch," Mike says to Scarface and looks at the girl in pity, but Scarface raises his palm and silences him.
“Her name is Paulina,” Scarface says coldly. “Thirteen years old.” He is quiet again, listening to the person who speaks on the other side of the line. “No,” he says finally, “Don’t come to get her. We’ll buy her.” Silence again, and my heart is thumping. I don’t understand what’s going on, and I don’t think I really want to. “How much?” Scarface bursts out laughing when he hears the answer. “Are you crazy? Twenty thousand and not a dollar more.” Oh my God! Is he negotiating over the poor girl’s future? “It just went down to 15,000.” Scarface says dryly, “And you know how easy it would be for me to call some old friends and make her disappear to a safe house.” He sounds completely serious and I scratch my arm nervously. This girl’s fate depends on the answer on the other end of the line, but I’m not sure that her future will be any better here. “Come get the money tomorrow and tell your brother that we said that you’re all sick sons of bitches,” Scarface ends the conversation.
“Good,” Tommy nods in satisfaction. “Now what will we do with her?” he laughs.
“Mike,” Scarface says, “take her to Carly and tell her to put her to work in the kitchen.”
Mike wrinkles his forehead. “If we keep buying these girls we won’t have any room left in the kitchen.”
“Then we’ll make it bigger,” Scarface replies irritably. “And you,” he says to me in the same tone of voice, “you can close your mouth.”
I shake my head and close my mouth, which has been hanging open. Scarface has definitely surprised me, big time - in a good way.
Mike signals the girl to join him. She looks toward the door as if she fears the punishment she’ll get when the man returns.
“He’s gone,” the blonde stands up and holds her hand out. “That shit won’t be coming back here, you understand?” The girl is still looking at the door and then she turns her head towards the blonde with tears in her eyes.
“Is he really gone, for good?” her voice trembles.
“Really gone for good,” the blonde hugs her. “No one will hurt you here. You’re safe here.”
The girl nods and runs to Mike. He doesn’t touch her, just signals with his head that she should come with him. They leave through the connecting door and as soon as it closes behind them Charlie shouts out, the front door opens and new customers start flowing in. I glance at the round table but there’s no sign of any scars. Right now he seems like an angel who came down from heaven. I shake my head again, lean on the bar and make a conscious decision to forget what just happened.
I run around between the tables for the next two hours, until the last girl leaves. Then I go over to the round table. Angel face is sitting there alone, tapping on a beer bottle and looking restless.
“I'm done,” I smile at him and arrange the strap of my backpack on my shoulder. “I’ll see you in three days.”
“I’m not comfortable with you going away,” he says and takes a sip from his bottle. “It will be strange not having you around here for so long.”
I’m surprised by his sudden show of emotion. “It’s only three days,” I say casually. “And I’m not going on vacation to Hawaii, just a professional conference.” I don’t understand why I’m trying to soothe him, after all, I don’t owe him any explanations and his behavior these past few days has been annoying me. “Anyway,” I say angrily, “you treat me as if I'm not even here, as if I'm nothing. So what do you care if that nothing will be gone for a few days?”
“I care!” he slams the bottle down on the table and I freeze on the spot. “Something about you drives me crazy. You came into this place…” he falls silent and corrects himself. “My place, and now I can’t imagine it without you.” He stands up and takes my hand, pulls me towards the door and signals me to sit on the motorcycle. After a short drive he stops in front of my building and when I get off, he pulls me back to him and sits me down in front of him. Face to face, close together.
“I know that we live in parallel worlds,” he says and strokes my cheek. The attraction I feel towards him is irrationally intense. “And I know that one day, you’ll disappear the same way you appeared in my bar.” His finger slides over my lower lip and my stomach clenches. “But for now, while you’re still with me, I want you as close as possible.” His lips meet mine softly and the warm air he breathes makes me shiver pleasantly. His gentle words, his surprising honesty and his electrifying touch are playing havoc with my body and I want more.
“Then why have you ignored me for the past two days?” I ask, still enjoying his kisses.
“Because this situation is driving me crazy,” his hand moves to my back and I move my braid so he won’t touch it. “I’m not ignoring you, you’re always in my sight. You just confuse me, and I hate that feeling.”
His fingers are sliding down my back and I put my arms around his neck. “It won’t happen between us, you know that,” this time I kiss his lips. “You said yourself that we’re like two parallel lines. It doesn’t matter how far they go; they’ll never meet.”
“My line has never been straight,” he is still stroking my back gently. “If it ever does meet yours, it could end badly.”
“Yes,” I say and sit up straight. His angel face looks disturbed now, and I feel the need to cheer him up. “I’m only going away for three days.” I smile at him. “And I’ll be spending my time in lectures with other freaks like me.”
“I’m so sure of myself in my world. So sure I have no competition.” He still looks troubled. “But in your world, those freaks are a competition that I can’t deal with.”
I know that he’s right, and I know I’m not going to lie to him. “Spend the night with me,” I say quickly, before my brain takes control again. I get off the motorcycle and stretch my hand out to him. “Let’s at least enjoy the physical passion.”
“No.” He revs up the motorcycle. “Only when you want me here, too.” He points at his head and drives away quickly. I could swear that he’s laughing to himself.
I groan in disappointment and sit down on the sidewalk. It’s just physical passion, I tell myself. It doesn’t last, it’s destructive. It’s not a passion that will take me anywhere that’s good. As soon as I get some intellectual passion, positive and constructive passion, my body will stop driving me crazy and I’ll be myself again. I have three days to get it.