28
“Are you still on sick leave tonight?” he asks in an amused voice as I stretch in bed. He walks over to the closet, removes a pair of pants and dresses quickly.
“No.” I yawn and stretch again. “If I want to continue studying, I’d better get back to the black hole you call work.”
I force myself into the shower, and when I come out, he’s not in the room. I dress and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is flowing over my shoulders, reaching all the way down to my ass, which looks strange. I feel like I am looking at somebody else. It’s such a radical change in such a dramatic period of time. I brush my hair, part it in the middle precisely and gather it in an elastic band. For the first time in thirteen years I’m about to go out without braiding my hair. It feels strange and kind of irritating.
“Elena, get yourself down here,” Liam calls from downstairs. I move away from the mirror and go down. He looks at my new hairstyle carefully but doesn’t say a word. He lets me have two sips of coffee and then urges me out. As we sit on the motorcycle and the garage door opens, I don’t see the Volvo parked outside. “Feel free to press your luscious breasts against me,” he says and starts driving slowly for a change. I hug him tightly, and each time he stops at a red light I rub up against him and giggle.
When we reach the quiet neighborhood and he is navigating his way through the narrow streets, I caress his stomach and put my hand between his legs. Within seconds I feel him growing hard.
He accelerates, and I push my hand inside his pants, stroking his erection and hug him again. He screeches to a halt opposite the bar and jumps off the motorcycle. I join him and the bouncer opens the door for us, but Liam slams it shut and pins me with my stomach to it. He presses against me from behind, his hands sliding under my tank-top and holding my breasts as his hips press towards mine. “Never start something you know I can’t finish,” he whispers in my ear and then turns me to face him and kisses me long and hard. I peek in embarrassment in the bouncer’s direction, but he is watching the street alertly and ignoring our private show.
Liam opens the door. Charlie is already behind the bar and some of the girls are sitting around and chatting. Everything looks exactly the same, and I realize how much I haven’t missed this place. Tommy, Mike and Ralph arrive one after the other and sit down at the round table, and I start working. Each time I go over to their table, I hear a new piece of information. It seems that, up until the temporary truce, their side has suffered damage to property, including burning cars and smashing windows at the strip club, some of the distributors were beaten up and two were found dead under strange circumstances… the other side has suffered similar damage as well.
They talk about it so casually, as if it were a movie they all watched. Only Ralph loses his temper occasionally and he doesn’t stop cursing throughout the conversation.
He looks at me as I serve him another drink and narrows his eyes at me. “You changed your hairstyle,” he says. “You look much sexier this way,” he says loudly and lights a cigarette. I feel nauseous, but I fight the urge to braid my hair again. I won’t let this creature set me back. I don’t respond and he rejoins the conversation. A new girl enters the bar and I recognize her from the wedding party on Friday. She’s the one who sat by Tommy. He stands up and she throws herself at him enthusiastically. Minutes later they go upstairs together.
Its better this way, I think irritably. Johanna will just have to understand that her falling in love with him is one-sided and should stop her nonsense. I put two wine glasses down in front of the twins, and I'm horrified to see Johanna coming in. Her hair is disheveled, she’s looking around wildly and she seems disoriented. I walk over to her.
“Is he here?” she asks, rubbing her red eyes.
“No,” I lie without a blink.
“Elena,” tears flood her eyes. “He is not answering my calls or messages and I can't find him anywhere.”
I peek at the staircase and then pull her towards the counter. She sits down on a barstool and I ask Charlie for a bottle of water. He looks at her with pity and says nothing.
“Johanna,” I say firmly, “you're ruining your life. You don’t come to school, and when you do, you fall asleep and—”
“I just need some powder,” she cuts me off, sips some water and puts the bottle down on the counter. “That will fix me.”
“Are you crazy?” I raise my voice. “You sound like a junkie!”
“I am not an addict.” She runs her fingers through her hair. “I am just having a hard time. I'm worried about Tommy. Maybe something happened to him?”
She stands up and walks quickly to the round table.
“Where is he?” she asks Liam and smooths down her wrinkled skirt.
I move my head from side to side, trying to signal him not to tell her anything.
“He’s upstairs with a girl,” Liam replies indifferently and I'm shocked.
“What? That's not possible,” she stutters and turns around to me. “Did you know this?”
“Yes,” I lower my head in embarrassment. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“I can't believe it!” she bursts into heartbreaking sobs. “Why would he do that? He said that he’d never met anyone like me, that he…” she chokes and can’t continue talking.
“All men think with their dicks,” Ralph grins. “His dick probably found a replacement for you.”
“Ralph!” I silence him angrily and Johanna cries harder. “Let’s sit down,” I try to pull her back, but she pushes me away and runs towards the stairs. Liam lets out a short whistle and the huge bouncer standing by the staircase moves and blocks her path.
“Get her out of here,” he says to me coldly and I’m trying to figure out what to do. She is standing there in tears, begging the bouncer to let her through.
I walk over and hug her. “Johanna, let’s sit down. Drink some water, calm down and go back to the apartment to get some sleep. Things will look much better in the morning.”
“I need some powder,” she mumbles and turns to me in a daze. “Elena, I must have some powder.”
“Stop!” I yell and shake her. “Pull yourself together. You’re a brilliant physics student, not a street junkie.”
One of the twins comes over and pulls Johanna towards her. “Come on, sweetie, I’ll take care of you.” She hugs her and strokes her head. I watch in horror as she takes her to the restroom and the door closes behind them. I'm still staring at the door helplessly.
After a while, the door opens, and Johanna emerges smiling. “I told you that would fix me,” she winks at me and goes to sit with the twins. I want to go over there and slap her, pull her outside by her hair, but this is all too bizarre even for me. They're whispering and giggling together and when a short man with glasses walks in, they explain something to her, and she moves to sit at an unoccupied table.
“What are you doing?” I shout and go to her in panic. “Get up!”
“Go away,” she says angrily. The man in the glasses notices her, smiles and approaches her. I turn around and run to the round table.
“Liam, please tell the bouncer to kick her out.”
He turns his head to look at her. “Is she a minor?” he asks dryly.
“But…” I look at him in despair.
“Then it’s her decision,” he states and goes back to his business.
“Don’t be like that,” I beg. “You know this isn’t the place for her. You know that she—”
“Elena,” his voice is hard. “I can’t start looking after your junkie friends.”
Ralph chuckles and Mike smiles and I feel as if I’m being swallowed up by a black hole.
“You’re such assholes!” I slam the table and see Carly entering the club. I run to her, hoping she'll help me.
“Carly, please tell Johanna to get up,” I press my palms together like I’m begging, and we both watch Johanna chatting happily with the man with the glasses. He is biting his lower lip and shoving his hand into his pants.
“How did that happen?” she asks in astonishment.
“She was crying…and then…” I stutter. “And then one of the twins gave her some powder, and then she came back—”
“Another one gone.” She shrugs and I stare at her in shock.
“Aren’t you going to do anything?”
“He’s not hurting her, and it looks like she’s enjoying herself,” she says calmly, as if we’re not talking about my sweet roommate who has fallen into drugs and is currently providing sex services, going through the same humiliation I did. “But let me think of something to get her out of here.” She falls quiet and looks at me. “You’ve changed your hair. Your braid is gone!” she exclaims.
“Yeah… it’s…” I look at Johanna again. “It’s really not important now.”
Carly goes to the round table and sits with the men and I lean against the bar, watching Johanna. She continues chatting and giggling as the man in the glasses masturbates and breathes heavily. When he finally lets out a loud groan, one of the twins goes to the table and gives him some napkins. After he sorts himself out, he throws some money on the table and leaves.
“Don’t take the money,” I whisper and shake my head. “Don’t take the money. Don’t take the money.” I’m disappointed when Johanna puts her hand on the dollar bills, counts them with a smile and shoves them into the pocket of her skirt. I close my eyes sadly, and when I open them again, she’s already back to whispering with the twins.
“Well, have you thought of something yet?” I ask Carly impatiently. She whispers something in Mike’s ear and when he nods, she calls Johanna over.
Johanna pushes past Ralph’s legs and sits down next to her. Carly strokes her head and Johanna giggles.
“Do you want us to get you into rehab?” Carly asks in a motherly voice.
Johanna grows serious and looks at her in confusion. “I don't need rehab. I'm not an addict. I just need the white powder once in a while.”
“I see,” Carly mutters.
“Wait, but you do…” I raise my voice and Carly waves her hand, signaling me to be quiet.
“It’s a very expensive powder,” Carly says in a soft voice, “can you pay for it?”
“Not really,” Johanna looks like she is brooding. “I am here on a scholarship and I don't work, but I thought Tommy would still give it to me.”
“That won’t happen,” Carly says dryly. “Tommy probably won’t give you anymore, and we’re not running a charity here.”
I look at them anxiously, trying to understand where their conversation is going.
“Then what should I do?” Johanna asks worriedly. “Maybe I can do more sex talking here and the men will pay me?”
“No.” Carly answers firmly. “This isn’t the right place for you.” I sigh in relief. Finally, somebody here is helping me. “But I think you’ll like our club,” Carly continues suddenly and I turn white. “We have lots of students. It’s an exclusive dance club, and you could dance with a mask on your face. When you’re ready you can move on to the private rooms.”
I stop breathing. A dance club. Sure.
“But I do not know how to dance,” Johanna says awkwardly.
“No problem, we’ll teach you.” Carly stands up, squeezes her way out of the table and signals Johanna to join her. “You’ll like it with us, and you’ll be able to pay for your new hobby.”
Johanna’s eyes light up in excitement and I can’t even say a word. She set me up. She set me up, and there’s nothing I can do.
“You've changed your hairstyle,” Johanna says to me with a big smile. “You look so pretty.” She hugs me and then vanishes with Carly behind the massive steel door. I crash down on the couch next to Liam.
“I’ve ruined her life!” I mumble in panic.
“You haven’t ruined anything.” He puts his arm around my shoulder. “She did it all by herself.”
“How many people will be hurt because of me until I can leave this stinking place?” I answer angrily and stand up again. “I can’t stand this.” I take a step back. “And I can’t stand you.” I run to the counter and sit on a barstool.
Charlie puts a glass in front of me and fills it with wine. “Don’t take it too hard.”
“I don’t have an order for this,” I snap.
“It’s for you.” He leans his elbows on the counter. “I’ve seen everything there is to see here,” he says. “Young girls, students, older women, single moms, abused women, everything.”
“But why do they choose this shitty life?” I sip the wine and peek at the door to the club. “Why don’t they choose to do something good with their lives?”
“Sometimes people get lost on the way. Sometimes they’re led astray. And sometimes they don’t have a choice.”
“There’s always a choice,” I insist. “Nobody can make decisions for us. At the end, the decision is ultimately always ours.”
“Not always,” he answers, looking sad. “I don’t believe anyone would choose this if she had a choice. Look at Amber,” he points at the brunette who is stroking an elderly man’s arm. “Her husband left her with his debts. Some bad guys came to collect, and then social services took her kids away.” I look at her and shudder. “Sweet kids, three and five years old, who were sent to foster care. And then she found out they were being abused there.” My eyes widen in fear. "She had to be able to pay rent and pay for their living expenses to get them back. They’ve been back with her for a year now.” He smiles.
“It doesn’t make sense that they’d give a prostitute her children back,” I raise my voice and he shushes me angrily.
“Elena, in our world we have ways of proving that any kind of job is legal.” He winks at me, but I really don’t understand what he means.
“Well, that’s different,” I stutter, the story of that poor mother and her children echoing inside my head. “It’s all about her children.”
“Then look at Heidi.” He points at the slender blonde who is skipping up the stairs followed by a black man with his hands on her ass. “Her husband beat her so badly that she ended up in hospital five times in three months.”
“That’s terrible,” I murmur.
“He used to bring men home to have sex with her and keep the money. Until one night she picked up a knife and finished him off.”
“He deserved it.”
“Yeah. But the law decided that since he wasn't armed when she did it, she was a danger to the public and she went to jail for a year.”
“That’s really terrible,” I feel the tension spreading through my back.
“When she got out, she found this place. No one beats her without her permission here and she makes a good living.”
“Your stories make this place sound like a charity organization.” I don’t even try to hide my disdain. “These poor women are exploited to make even more money.”
“You choose to see everything in black and white. It’s not that clear.” He shrugs.
“It still makes me sick.” I take another sip of wine and rub the back of my neck.
“That’s okay, sometimes life is sickening.” He straightens up and points at a new customer who just walked in. “At least your friend ended up in our place,” he sounds proud. “It could have been much worse somewhere else.”
I walk over to the customer and immediately after that a few more walk in. Every free minute I get, I go over to the connecting door and stare at it with a sense of dismay. I have no idea what’s happening in there now, and the images that are running through my head are disturbing.
“Elena, come sit with us,” Liam calls me and I look away from the steel door. I don’t feel like sitting with them and I’m really not in the mood for Ralph’s rudeness.
“What can I get you?” I ask dryly.
“Nothing,” Liam answers. He pulls me down next to him and caresses my thigh.
I squirm uneasily. “Stop, don’t touch me now,” I ask quietly.
“You are something special,” Ralph says drunkenly. “You know that my 3,000 dollars offer is still on the table?”
“You know that my refusal is still on the table too,” I answer and flip my hair forward distractedly.
“Wow, your hair is beautiful,” Ralph continues, “What I would do for that hair to be wrapped around my d—”
“Shut the fuck up!” Liam raises his voice angrily and continues caressing my thigh. His touch scorches my skin and I move his hand away again.
“Lighten up. In this place, every girl has her price. Even your smart girl.” He narrows his eyes and bites his bottom lip. “If I add another zero to my offer, would you say yes?”
“Shut the hell up!” Liam slams the table and when he places his hand back on mine, I stand up irritably.
“Thirty thousand dollars?” I sneer, “For one hour with you?”
“Yes,” he smiles widely and bares his white teeth.
“Thirty thousand dollars for one hour,” I chuckle, knowing that his proposal isn’t serious and the alcohol is talking. “I could leave this shithole and never come back.” I pick up the empty beer bottles and roll my eyes. “For one hour of suffering with a disgusting creature like you, I could win my paradise back.” I turn my back on them. “Wow! It looks like even I have a price.” I shrug and start towards the counter.
Suddenly I’m being pulled back forcefully and the beer bottles in my hands fall and shatter all over the floor. It looks like Liam’s scars have taken over his entire face – there’s no hint of the angelic side.
“Come with me.” He pulls me towards the stairs, my hand almost being ripped off.
“I was kidding,” I say, panicked.
“But he wasn’t kidding.” His voice chills me. I'm pulled forward so hard that I can’t even turn my head and peek at Ralph.
“Stop it, Liam. Don’t go crazy now.” I say angrily as I'm being dragged up the stairs. Tommy and the plastic girl are making their way down, they look at us curiously.
“You gave yourself a price tag, so you’d better understand what that means.” He stops at the black curtain, turns his head towards me and looks at me venomously. I pull away from him and straighten my tank-top, flooded with anger.
“So I gave myself a price tag,” I shrug indifferently. “The truth is that if I really could get that kind of money for just one hour, I’d probably do it.” I can’t believe what I just said, but I enjoy seeing his face twist in fury.
“Fine.” He moves his head slowly from side to side and rubs the back of his neck. “I thought in your field they teach you to do research before drawing conclusions. So, with your permission, I’ll help you do this research.” He opens the curtain and pushes me through, I stop in a long corridor. There's a faded red carpet on the floor, and on the left, there's a row of doors with round windows that remind me of the sealed port holes on a submarine. At the end of the corridor I see two armed guards.
“After you,” Liam gestures with his hand for me to go to the end of the corridor. I feel like I shouldn't be here, and my heart starts pounding rapidly, but my pride won’t let me run away. I stand up straight and start walking. I stop in front of the guards and Liam grabs my hips, turns me around and pushes my head towards the round window.
A man I just served drinks to a few minutes ago is lying on a bed with purple satin sheets. The quiet redhead is sitting on top of him. They're both completely naked and I feel as if I'm invading their privacy.
“I don’t want to watch,” I whisper, and try to turn around, but Liam is holding my head and he won’t let me move.
“You don’t have to whisper,” he says dryly. “The doors are soundproof. They can’t see or hear you.”
“Still,” I insist, “it doesn’t feel right.” The man pulls the girl to him and suckles her breast.
“It will feel right in a minute.” He doesn’t let go of me. The man caresses the girl’s hips and whispers in her ear. She smiles and turns on her back. Now he’s moving backwards, and places his head between her legs. She opens her mouth and I assume she is moaning. In some sick, twisted way, my body is heating up. The girl bends her knees and he continues pleasuring her, as she strokes his hair and arches her back.
“It’s like watching porn,” I mumble quietly. “But it’s much softer and sensual than I imagined.” He removes his hand from my head, and I realize that I yearn to feel it there again. “It’s strange…” I watch them intently. “It looks like she’s enjoying it… do you think she’s enjoying it?” I turn my head to Liam and a burning shiver travels down my spine.
“Yes,” he rolls his eyes disdainfully. “Like you enjoy going to the dentist.”
“But…” I try to turn back and he pulls me towards the second door. This time I don’t resist, and I peek into the window without him forcing me to.
A young man is sitting on the edge of the bed and the twins are standing in front of him. One is caressing the other, and he is touching himself. Suddenly he pulls one of them onto his lap, she giggles and spreads her legs wide. The other climbs on the bed, sits behind him and kisses him on the neck.
“Wow!” I say and put my hands on the door. “That’s so twisted yet so erotic. Repulsive and attractive.” He presses behind me and looks through the window. His physical closeness is electrifying, and I moan in embarrassment. “Let’s get out of here.” I turn around and bite my lower lip expectantly. “I’ve seen enough. But now I want to be with you.”
“We’re not done.” His look turns hollow. He pulls me forcefully towards the window at the end of the corridor.
“I get it,” I fume, “And I’m beginning to feel like a pervert. Can we go back downstairs?”
“I said we’re not done.” He raises his voice and once again shoves my head towards a round window.
“Oh my God!” I cry as I realize what I’m looking at. “I don’t want to watch. I don’t want to!” I squirm and try to get away from his strong arms.
“You’ll watch until I decide it’s enough!” his voice makes my blood run cold and I wonder once more how I got involved with a man like that.
“Here, I’m watching.” I close my eyes tight.
“I know you’re closing your eyes. I can see your reflection.” His voice is still icy. “And if you don’t open them, I won’t let you go.”
I open my right eye and struggle to open the left one as well. “Why aren’t you helping her?” I ask in a trembling voice.
“She has a panic button,” his voice is softer.
“Then why the hell doesn’t she press it?” I shout and my body turns to stone. For a minute I think she's about to press the button I see now on the side of the bed. But then the creature standing opposite her throws some money on it and she lowers her head again.
“It’s inhuman,” I whimper painfully.
“If you’re looking for humanity, you’re in the wrong place,” he says, not letting go of my head.
“Liam, please. I’ve seen enough.” I feel my stomach turning and I choke.
He forces me to watch for a little longer and then he lets me go. My body sways and the contents of my stomach start rising. I quickly draw the black curtain and turn to the room on the left, looking for another door. When I find it, I burst inside, lean over the toilet and vomit. When the scenes appear in my head again, I lean over and vomit again. When there’s nothing left, I stand up dizzily and go to the sink. I wash my face slowly, but the water can’t remove the filth. I feel exhausted and dirty. I go out to the office in measured steps. Liam is standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, and my fury erupts.
“You’re sick!” I scream and shake myself, trying to break free of the horrific things I've seen, but without success.
He walks over to the large safe, taps in a code, takes out several stacks of dollar bills and puts them in a blue cloth bag.
“What are you doing?” I’m still screaming.
“Here,” he throws the bag at my feet. “There’s exactly thirty thousand dollars in here. You’ll go into one of the rooms with a customer for just one hour.” I look at the money and then at him in horror. “You might get a nice customer, like you saw in the first rooms. Or you might get a really extra nice one, like you saw in the last room.” I put my hand over my mouth as I feel sick again. “Unfortunately, you can’t choose who goes into your room, and bear in mind that if you press the panic button, you won’t get the money.” He comes closer and smiles at me. “So, what do you say, we have a deal?” I want to answer him, but I have to run to the bathroom again. I throw up yellow liquid that burns my throat and then go back to the sink and splash water over my face and the back of my neck. Nothing is helping me freshen up, but I feel my brain is taking charge.
I return to the office, stumble towards the bag, embrace it, and smile at him. The expression on his face changes. “You. Are. Mentally. Sick.” I stress each word and then raise the bag and hurl it at him. The bills scatter all over the floor and he sighs in relief and smiles.
“I knew you wouldn’t take the money.” He takes a step towards me and his calmness drives me crazy. I sprawl on the carpet, take a bill in my hands and rip it.
“You’re fucked up!” I yell as I rip another bill, he doesn’t even blink. “This whole place is fucked!” I yell as I rip up bill after bill. “Who does something like that?”
“Someone who realized just how much he cares about you.” He pulls me up from the carpet and grabs my chin with a tortured look on his face. “You gave yourself a price tag tonight without understanding what it means. Now you understand the meaning.”
“But I was kidding.” I break down and burst into tears.
“Elena, in our world, in your new world, everything you say has a meaning. We don’t kid here.” He hugs me and brings my head to his chest. “Everyone in the world has a price.” He strokes my head. “Today you understood that a price is not just about money.” He kisses my head and I listen to him as I sob. “Now we can only hope that you never have to find out what your price is.” He drapes his arm around my shoulder and leads me out of the office. “I better take you home now.” He walks down the stairs with me, not letting go.
“I better not come back here anymore,” I murmur tiredly.
“You’re right,” he answers, and leaves the bar with me, without saying goodbye to Ralph.