Chapter 2 - Oliver
The woman in front of me looks terrified.
The first knocks on my door I ignored. I didn't want to deal with anyone today. Especially with this rain. There's something about rain that always puts me in a bad mood. But then I heard her shouting, her words failing, and so, of course, I opened the door.
But I already regret it.
Fuck. She's beautiful and clearly too young for me.
Her only wrinkles are around her eyes, which makes me think she likes to smile.
Her hips are wide and round and fuck, her tight nipples are visible through her shirt, which gives me an urge to get down on my knees and get between those big breasts of hers. She's short enough for me to do that.
I regret opening the door because I'm thinking of impossible things to do with her. And somehow, I don't think I’ve ever felt like this for any woman before her. This pull, this impossible craving that makes me sound like a pervert.
Fuck, I do sound like a pervert.
Get your mind together. She looks afraid. Who cares about you?
"I can help you," I say. It's been a while since I've talked with someone, so the words come out brasher than I expected.
"Uh, no need. Never mind." She turns back and starts dashing to the forest. Where the hell is she going? I'm barefoot, still wearing just my briefs, but I catch up to her fast. I grab her forearm. She jumps in response.
"I swear I didn't hear anything. I won't say anything. Just please let me go."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Aren't you going to kill me?" She looks at me as if I'm a monster. Which isn't far from how I feel most days. "Because I found your killing ground?" she continues.
"What?"
I take a deep breath, realizing what she's saying. "Do you think I'd open the door if I were in there killing someone?"
"No...?" she asks quietly.
"No."
"Come back to the porch. Now."
She comes with me although her steps are still hesitant. Guess coming with me beats the rain.
When we reach the porch, I focus on her face. I can't stop looking at her, but luckily she just interprets it as a question.
"It was all dark inside."
"The power went out. So after a while I went to bed."
"Oh, that makes sense."
"More sense than what your mind was conjuring up. Where are you staying?"
She’s clearly not from here. I'll just take her to the cabin she's staying in and move on.
Everything in my body wants her to stay close, so I'm just going to do the exact opposite.
A worthless, broken man like me? It'd ruin her. But to get her away, I’ll need her collaboration.
If I could even get her to look at me without her thinking I'm going to kill her.
This is the safest solution for her. Because at the moment, something just tells me to bring her to my cabin, lock us inside and throw away the key. And it's absolutely ridiculous. I don't think I even know how to talk to a woman anymore.
I've shut down to most of the world except for a few friends that live right here in the Almond Mountains.
She interrupts my thoughts, explaining to me where she's staying, which is very close to my cabin.
"I know where it is. I'll walk you there."
"Shouldn't you put on some pants?"
I look down. Shit. I had forgotten about that. With the amount of brain space she takes up, it makes me look like a lunatic.
It's not unusual for me to wish I were someone else, but right now it's hitting me too hard. I wish I were younger, with fewer scars both emotional and physical, just so I could be just a fraction worthy of her time.
But life doesn't turn your wishes into reality. It turns them into thorns on your skin.
"Yes. Stay here," I growl.
I walk towards my bedroom, grabbing a pair of jeans and an extra blanket, taking a quick detour to the bathroom to splash my face with water. I need to stay in control. I'll just show her the way and come back. We'll never cross paths again.
I put the blanket around her shoulders. "Let's go, grab my arm so you don't catch any more rain. My umbrella is not very big."
"It's fine."
I can tell she doesn't want to touch me. It shouldn't matter this much, it really shouldn't. So why does it feel like my chest is going to explode?
"It's not fine. You're drenched. Hold on to me. It's not far, you'll be back in no time. I'm not going to hurt you."
"At least tell me your name."
"Oliver. Want my social security number too?"
"That's a good idea actually." Her eyes get a whisper of a light and her lips curl up. It's strenuous, but it's a glimpse of a smile. I wonder what her real smile looks like. I wonder so many things about her.
She holds on to me, her hands are so cold I feel it seeping through my shirt, which makes me more worried. Despite asking for help, she didn't ask to come in, not for an extra sweater, not for anything.
She feels so unsafe with me she didn't ask for anything other than how to find her way back.
It makes me mad at myself.