Chapter 14
14
HOPE
V aughn and I headed north along the calm bay with a dozen excited dogs in tow. We were the only ones along this stretch of beach, which wasn’t unusual and made it perfect for letting our more active rescue pups release their energy.
The pack came in all different shapes, sizes, and personalities, and since their training was complete, most of them would be rehomed soon. I hated to see them go, but once they found their forever homes, it freed up space for new strays to be welcomed into our facility.
Vaughn had remained mostly silent, occasionally talking to the dogs with kind words while giving plenty of scratches behind their ears. Something about a big gruff badass being sweet with these abused dogs made my throat tighten.
“They like you,” I said as I dodged Sadie and McMuffin, who were so preoccupied with their play that they almost tripped me.
“I’m only an asshole to people. Not animals.” He tossed Kramer’s ball, and the long-legged Great Dane crossbreed loped after it. “Are you happy here?”
I cast him a sideways glance. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You used to live in a high-rise, wear designer clothes, and study at Princeton. This is…different.”
He meant this was a downgrade from my former lavish life. It was true. Carlos had spared no expense to make sure my needs were met in a way that most would consider luxurious.
“I’m happier living and working in Playa de la Palmera than I’ve ever been in my life.” I answered honestly. “Despite what you might think, material items have never been important to me, especially since I knew how they were acquired.”
I picked up a cute seashell and dusted the sand from it, then turned it over in my palm, tracing the ridged pattern that the ocean had worn smooth. I placed it in my pocket to add to my collection. “And I love working with the dogs. When they come to us, a lot of them have been badly mistreated. We give them a safe place and show them kindness and patience. Mostly, what they need is love and the time to learn that not all people are awful. When they’re ready, they come out of their shells and show us who they really are. It’s rewarding to see that change in them.” I smiled and shook my head when Kramer chased away a flock of seagulls, his favorite thing to do.
Vaughn eyed me with curiosity, like my admission had surprised him.
I laughed. “You were expecting me to be a terrible person, weren’t you?”
“Can you blame me?”
“No.” I tossed the tennis ball for the pack. “Have I changed your mind?”
He scratched the back of his neck. “My opinion doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me.”
“Why would you care what I think?”
“You’re right. I shouldn’t, it’s just—” I halted, not wanting to sound like an attention-seeking brat.
“Tell me,” he grumbled.
“It’s stupid.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.”
I exhaled a deep breath while considering how best to explain. “When I lived in Jersey, I had to conceal my identity, which meant no one ever really knew me. I also had to hide who I was from my father and Jorge, because if they knew how much I despised them, they’d only cage me further. And since arriving in Playa de la Palmera, I’ve had to pretend to be someone else yet again. Since I was six years old, Daphne is the only person I’ve been able to show my true self to. You’re the second.” I glanced at Vaughn to find his dark gaze locked on mine. Some emotion flickered across his face before he looked away. “I guess that’s why it’s important you don’t think I’m a lowlife.”
Vaughn shoved his hands into his pockets, seeming uncomfortable with our real talk. “I don’t think you’re like your dad.”
As foolish as it was, his words made my chest feel lighter. “Thank you.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“I guess.”
He stopped walking, and so did I. “How did you get here?”
I should’ve known this question would come up sooner or later. It didn’t stop my pulse from escalating and a cold sweat from dampening my skin.
I swallowed thickly. “You mean the night Alvarez tried to kill me?”
He nodded.
“Why do you need to know?” I’d rather skip this conversation if we could.
“Your safety here depends on your anonymity, and since your last known location was on board Alvarez’s luxury yacht, miles from the coast, I’m guessing you didn’t arrive in Playa de la Palmera unaided. Not unless you miraculously swam to shore on this very beach and asked Daphne for help.”
It was a fair enough reason, I supposed.
Vaughn tilted his head. “And maybe I just really want to hear how you outsmarted an asshole like Alvarez.”
I’d hardly say I’d outsmarted him. Luck had played a large part in my survival. A dash of bravery and stubbornness might’ve contributed also.
That night wasn’t easy to talk about, but three years had passed since my escape, and I was resolute not to let the trauma of those events govern my life. There was one thing that always soothed me when confronting disturbing memories—swimming in the ocean.
When I’d first started walking along the beach during the early months of my recovery, each step had been excruciating, like walking through quicksand laced with fire, but I’d been determined to grow strong again so I could start my new life. And when I’d felt adventurous enough to take to the ocean, floating in the salty water calmed me better than any meditation technique I’d tried. Maybe it would work now.
Without a second thought, I yanked my T-shirt over my head and tossed it onto the sand.
The astonished look on Vaughn’s face was almost comical. “What are you doing?”
A gentle breeze blew wayward strands of hair across my face, so I tucked them behind my ear. “I’m going for a swim. If you want to hear the story of that night, I’ll give it to you, but only in there.” I pointed to the clear-blue water.
He tensed as though the small waves gently lapping against the shore terrified him.
“What about the dogs?” he asked.
“They won’t go far. You can swim, can’t you?”
“Yeah, but?—”
“So what’s the problem?”
He hesitated before giving a sharp shake of his head and muttering, “Nothing.”
I stepped out of my shorts, leaving myself in only a swimsuit. Vaughn’s uncertain expression turned heated as his eyes traveled over the low neckline of my black one-piece before eating up the rest of my curves.
Did he like what he saw? I told myself his opinion didn’t matter. Yes, I had a round ass and dimples on the backs of my thighs, but my body was strong and capable. If Grim couldn’t appreciate a woman who didn’t look like a rake, then he could damn well look someplace else.
I propped one hand on my hip. “You’re staring.”
“Yeah.” He traced his jaw with one hand. “And?”
“And most people would consider that rude.”
“I’m a man, Hope. I could pretend I’m not looking, but any straight guy is going to appreciate a set of tits and an ass like yours.” His hungry gaze roamed over my assets as if he were deciding which morsel he should devour first.
I had a few suggestions.
Wait. He couldn’t get away with speaking to me like that. How was it possible that with one crude compliment from Grim every ounce of feminism had left my body faster than you could say objectification? I’d failed the sisterhood by allowing a hot bad boy to ogle me the same way I looked at pizza after a long shift.
I wasn’t used to someone speaking so boldly. Rarely did anyone comment on my figure at all, not when they struggled to see beyond my scars.
I might’ve lived a sheltered life when it came to the opposite sex, but I’d assumed American men preferred a leaner physique than mine. After all, that was what Hollywood and fashion magazines stuffed down our throats.
Vaughn’s comment had surprised me, but I refused to let it show, so I folded my shorts and placed them on the sand, letting him look his fill if he enjoyed it so much. “You might want to wipe the drool off your chin.” I spun and headed for the water, and if I swayed my hips a little more than usual, it was absolutely intentional.
Glancing over my shoulder, I called out, “You coming or what?”
My feet entered the cool water, and once I’d made it in far enough, I dipped below the surface. Wiping the salty sting from my eyes, I found Vaughn wading in, fully clothed in his jeans and long-sleeve Henley.
What the hell was he doing?
He dove underwater and resurfaced a short distance from me, smoothing his wet dark locks from his face.
“Weirdo.” I laughed. “You could’ve stripped down to your briefs.”
A grin that promised nothing but trouble formed on his lips. “Who says I’m wearing any?”
I really should’ve considered that before demanding he join me.
My eyes raked over Vaughn’s corded neck as drops of water trickled down his ink-covered skin. The black shirt clung to his broad torso, highlighting every glorious muscle along his shoulders, biceps, and pecs. I wasn’t sure why he’d left it on. All I knew was it was a damn shame and completely unfair since he’d seen me in nothing more than a scrap of Lycra.
I returned his smile with one of my own. “What about your shirt? Surely you could’ve taken that off. Or is Mr. Dark and Dangerous suddenly shy?”
He didn’t answer, but his expression hardened as if my small jibe had offended him. Whatever. If he was going to dish out sass, he’d better be prepared to take it.
He broke eye contact before saying, “We’re here. So talk.”
Grim, you’re the most confusing person I’ve ever met.
I wouldn’t let his Jekyll-and-Hyde personality ruffle my feathers.
My toes dug into the liquid sand. Thinking about the night on Alvarez’s yacht always made me edgy, so I drifted out a little deeper where I couldn’t reach the bottom. Feeling weightless in the ocean never failed to provide relief, even in my darkest moments.
Treading water, I asked, “Do you know how I ended up with Alvarez?”
Vaughn swam closer. The palm trees onshore and the cloudless azure sky outlined his profile. His face was all sharp angles—high cheekbones, strong brow, square jaw. There was nothing soft about Vaughn, and something about that made my insides clench.
“I know a little,” he replied. “Why don’t you fill in the blanks?”
“Natalie, a friend of mine from college, was drugged and taken from a club in Jersey. There’d been a lot of women going missing along the east coast. Only a few months earlier, I’d asked my father if he was responsible. He said it was the Alvarez Cartel in conjunction with the Wolf Street Mafia. The Philly mob was kidnapping women and sending them to Mexico, where it was easier to smuggle them abroad. So I suspected Natalie didn’t have much time. If she left Mexico, I’d have no way to find her.”
Perhaps sensing my uneasiness, Titan paddled out to meet me. “I’m okay, boy,” I said, giving him a pat on his back before he returned to shore. Daphne and I had never officially labeled him a therapy dog, but Titan always knew when my anxiety level was on the rise.
I checked on the pack. The dogs were amusing themselves by chasing seabirds, digging, or wallowing in the sand. A few splashed in the shallows. They were used to my daily swims and wouldn’t venture far.
Confident that they were all okay, I continued with the story. “I had to do something, so I swallowed my pride and called my father. In all our years apart, I only ever asked him for two things. To end my engagement to Jorge and to save Natalie. Carlos denied me both.” I gritted my teeth, frustrated to this day that he’d done nothing to intervene. “He might have refused to help, but I still had power. I just needed to be smart about how to wield it.”
One good thing had come from witnessing Carlos’s scheming ways. I’d learned how to manipulate from the master.
Vaughn pressed his lips together and shook his head. “So you came up with a batshit-crazy plan to fly to Guadalajara and trade yourself for Natalie.”
“Don’t say it like that.” I flung a piece of floating seaweed at his chest. “We don’t all have a team of mercenaries at our disposal. I did what I had to. I knew it was dangerous and risky, but I wanted to help Nat, and given the complicated place I was at in my life, I felt like being reckless. I’d almost completed my studies, which meant I’d soon be forced to return to Mexico, marry Jorge, and be inducted into the family business. My future wasn’t bright, you could say. Mostly, I was sick of standing by when I knew how many people were suffering because of the cartel. I didn’t want to hide from the reality of that anymore.”
Vaughn nodded as though he understood.
“I spoke on the phone with Alvarez and struck a deal. Me in exchange for Natalie’s freedom. He seemed surprised but more than happy with that arrangement.” I shrugged. “Anyway, it all went to crap when we met to make the trade. Instead of letting Natalie go, Alvarez kept us both. He had us loaded onto his motor yacht and taken out to sea for safekeeping. From our locked room below deck, we could hear Alvarez and his men partying. There was loud music and laughter. We’d flinch every time gunfire rang out and they whooped and cheered. They were celebrating my capture, certain that it would force my father to concede territory to secure my release.
“Then Alvarez’s men dragged us topside. There were bottles of champagne and expensive mezcal on every surface, a half dozen naked women in a hot tub, and a private chef cooking lobster on an open grill.”
A shiver slid up my spine as I recalled that night clearly. The drunk guy at the bar, sleazing all over an unimpressed bikini-clad woman. A server walking through the party, handing out shots of clear liquor. The gentle rise and fall of the yacht as it traveled through inky-black waters. And seated at a semicircular sofa with women fawning over him, Alvarez leered at me like I was about to become the evening’s entertainment. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise. I’d never expected the Pacific Coast Cartel’s biggest enemy to treat me kindly.
“We were brought before Alvarez so he could record a video to taunt my father. Before he had the chance, his satellite phone rang with news from the mainland. Rather than negotiate for my release, Carlos had waged an all-out attack on several of Alvarez’s bases. Bam.” I splashed at the water’s surface. “Instant cartel war.”
Vaughn grunted. “That part I remember. It was one of the bloodiest in years.”
“They always are when Carlos is involved.” I glanced toward the colorful fishing boats parked on the sand farther around the bay. “Alvarez lost it. As soon as he got off the sat phone, he put a pistol to Natalie’s head and?—”
All I could do was swallow the saliva pooling in my mouth at the terrifying memory of that madman pulling the trigger. As though it were happening in real time, the sound of gunfire exploded in my head, and the horrific image of my friend being murdered replayed with vivid clarity. I squeezed my eyes shut, willing my mind to return to the present.
When I opened them, Vaughn had moved closer.
“Are you okay?” he asked. “We can do this another time if you want.”
God, how long had it been since I’d told this story? I thought time might’ve made it easier, but it hadn’t. I still blamed myself for Natalie’s death. If I hadn’t tried to trade myself for her, she might still be alive.
“I’m okay. Daphne and I don’t talk about it much anymore, and you’re the only other person I’ve told.” After drawing in a deep lungful of air, I continued. “I could see it in Alvarez’s eyes that I was next. He was in a rage and didn’t care about the consequences of infuriating my father. He only wanted revenge. So I decided to fight for my life. Before Alvarez could turn the pistol on me, I charged him. It startled him, and the shot went wide. We struggled.” I dipped lower in the water as I hesitated over how much detail to give Vaughn, but I wouldn’t chicken out now. Alvarez was dead, and I’d survived. He didn’t get to intimidate me from the grave. “Alvarez overpowered me, dragged me to the hot grill, and pressed my face against it.”
Vaughn tensed, and a look of sheer malice crossed his features. “He did what ?”
Why did this anger him so much? He hardly knew me. Heck, a short while ago, he’d considered me as monstrous as Carlos and Jorge.
I pointed to the scars on my face. “This wasn’t caused by a bad case of sunburn, Grim.”
“I know that. It’s just…what he did was barbaric.”
“What can I say? Alvarez is a real charmer. If it makes you feel any better, I stabbed him in the thigh with a big-ass barbecue fork to get free.” Judging by the tightness of Vaughn’s jaw, that detail hadn’t remotely improved his mood. Well, thinking about that fork sinking into Alvarez’s flesh made me feel better. “After that, I made it to the side of the yacht, and right before I launched myself over, some bastard shot me in the back.” I pointed to the spot just above my hip bone where my swimsuit covered yet another ugly scar. Despite the bullet missing all major organs, there were still fragments of it inside me.
“Jesus.” Vaughn scrubbed a hand over his face.
I swirled my arms through the water, letting its buoyancy center me. “Anyway, I guess they thought they’d done enough to kill me, especially since I was miles from shore. I only remember bits and pieces from when I landed in the water until I woke up days later in Daphne’s house. But she told me that Bruno, a local fisherman, heard gunshots and saw me go overboard. When the yacht kept sailing, he pulled me onto his boat and brought me straight to Dee.”
“Are you sure Bruno can keep a secret?”
“I mean, he died just over a year ago, so I don’t think we need to worry anymore. And if he’d told anyone before his death, it would’ve spread through the village like wildfire. Besides, he never knew the truth about who I was. He probably figured I was a prostitute or a party girl since I was on that yacht.”
Vaughn’s eyes narrowed. “And the doc didn’t take you to the hospital?”
I shook my head. “Dee’s not stupid. Someone had tried to murder me, so she knew that if I wound up in the hospital, there was a chance they’d find me and finish what they’d started. Plus, the nearest ER is so far away she didn’t think I’d survive the journey. Once I’d stabilized, there was no reason to move me.”
“She saved your life and protected you,” Vaughn said.
“And she’s been there for me every day since. Now do you understand why I won’t abandon her?”
He nodded.
“When I regained consciousness, Dee reassured me I could live with her for as long as I wanted. At first, I declined. There was no way I wanted to put anyone in danger for harboring me. But I was too injured to leave right away, and over time, she convinced me to reconsider. And when I found out how badly her MS flare-ups affected her, I really wanted to stay and help. It was then I told her who I really was. I figured she’d send me on my way, but learning I was Carlos Espinoza’s daughter didn’t change her mind. I realized I’d been handed a gift. The opportunity to start a new life and sever ties with my father and the cartel.”
A lump formed in my throat, and a swell of emotion threatened to overwhelm me. I had so much love for that woman. I hardly remembered my mother, but Daphne had more than filled that void. She’d saved me both physically and mentally. I owed her everything, but she never expected a thing in return for her generosity.
Pain gripped my calf when the muscle tensed sharply. “Ow, ow, ow!” I clutched my leg.
Every time I kicked, the cramp intensified. Dammit, it felt like the muscle was trying to tear itself from the bone. I’d never had a cramp this bad before.
I went under and came up gasping for air. My arms flailed. I tried to keep my head above water, but it was no use. The next time I plunged below the surface, I swallowed a mouthful of brine. My throat burned as I coughed it back up.
Then a strong arm curled around my waist and held me afloat.
“What’s wrong?” Vaughn asked with alarm in his tone.
“Cramp.” I winced and coughed some more. “My calf.”
“I’ve got you.” His voice at my ear was steady and reassuring. With my back pressed against his hard chest, Vaughn towed me to shallower water. “Grab your toes and stretch out the muscle.”
I tried, but the cramp persisted. Before I could relay that information, Vaughn’s large hand began massaging my calf in slow but firm movements.
“That hurts.” I sucked in a sharp breath and leaned the back of my head against his shoulder.
“I know, but it’ll help. This should be nothing for a tough woman like you.”
His teasing might’ve bothered me if I weren’t in agony. Instead, I breathed through the pain, soaking up the warmth of Vaughn’s body and the security of his hold. As his callused hand kneaded my calf, the muscle eased. I really should tell him that the cramp was under control, but what was the harm in staying like this a little longer?
“How does that feel?” he asked. His thick band of an arm gave my waist a gentle squeeze.
A happy shiver rippled through me when Vaughn’s stubble tickled my shoulder and his breath ghosted my cheek. “So good.” A small moan slipped from my lips before I reined it in. “Better, I mean.”
Vaughn’s chest shook with a poorly suppressed chuckle.
Ugh . How humiliating.
And it was at that exact moment that I remembered the dream . The one where Vaughn and I had been getting hot and heavy in the water, causing me to wake with an incessant throbbing between my legs and a desperate need to snatch my favorite toy for relief.
My heart pounded. My face heated.
I needed to escape faster than Houdini chained underwater in a straitjacket.
Vaughn must’ve noticed me tense, because he asked, “What’s wrong now?”
“Nothing. I’m fine,” I answered brusquely.
“You’re not. Tell me what’s freaking you out.”
“It’s stupid. Please drop it.” I squirmed to break free, and he released me.
When I spun to face him, one of his brows lifted in amusement. “You’re embarrassed.” Not a question. “Now I really want to know what’s got you all worked up.”
“I’m not embarrassed,” I snapped.
“You are. I’ve seen fire trucks a milder shade of red than your face.” His full lips twitched as he looked down at me through thick dark lashes. “Tell me why, and I’ll drop it.”
“Vaughn, please.”
“There’s only one place begging will get you what you want, and it’s not out here.” His front teeth scraped over his lower lip, catching my attention and turning my stomach into a whirlpool. And now, all I could think about were the multitude of things I might beg this man to do to me in the bedroom if it got me what I wanted. “I won’t laugh, I promise.”
He really wasn’t going to let this go. New plan: give him a partial truth and skip the details.
“Fine.” I huffed out a breath and held my chin high. “I had a dream about you last night. It was very annoying, and now you need to back off.”
“You had a dream about me?” His forehead creased. “That’s not embarrassing. Not unless—” His eyes widened. “Noooo.” He drew the word out as though he’d just learned a juicy piece of gossip, then that goddamn wicked smile appeared. “Aw, Gatita. You had a sex dream about me?”
Someone, kill me now.
A shark attack.
A rogue lightning strike.
A brain embolism.
I’d take any of those quick deaths over the excruciatingly slow one I was currently enduring. I’d never been more mortified in my life.
“It wasn’t a sex dream,” I hissed. Regrettably, there’d been no P-in-V action, although it had been heading that way.
“Don’t torture me. Give me all the details. Was I good? Of course I was good. Tell me everything .”
“Grim, I swear to God if you don’t stop talking about this right now, that throat punch I threatened will be coming your way.”
Vaughn had kept his promise not to laugh, although amusement flashed in his eyes. “All right. I’ll stop teasing.” His gaze shifted to the scarred side of my face, and as it lingered there, his expression became unreadable.
It didn’t matter. I knew what was going through his mind. He was either feeling sorry for me, or he was repulsed by my disfigurement. I wasn’t prepared for how much that hurt. For some stupid reason, I didn’t want to feel different around Vaughn. I just wanted to be a girl talking to a guy.
When would I ever be able to just be me?
Not Carlos Espinoza’s daughter. Not a woman hiding from her past. Not a victim.
Not a freak show.
I was so sick of the masks I’d had to wear my entire life when all I wanted was to be comfortable in my own skin, as damaged as it was.
“Hey,” Vaughn said, bringing my attention back to him. “What’s wrong?”
With my wet hair clinging to my back, I couldn’t use it to shield my scars. Instead, I turned away. “Stop staring at them.”
“Why?”
“Why? Because I know what’s going through your head.”
“Whatever you think it is, you’re wrong,” he replied firmly. “Hope, look at me.” When I didn’t, he cupped my cheek and turned my face toward his.
I blinked back the moisture pooling in my eyes as our gazes met. “You don’t need to lie to me. What those jerks said at Javi’s? It’s not the first time my face has been likened to a horror show. I own a mirror, Vaughn. I know what I look like.”
His eyes held mine. “Maybe you don’t see what I do.”
“Really? Because if you’re not looking at me with pity or disgust, what is it?”
He opened his mouth, but no words followed. That came as no surprise. When forced to acknowledge an uncomfortable truth, people usually clammed up.
“I knew it.” I shook my head.
Vaughn seized my waist when I tried to leave. “Hope. Wait.”
“Take your hands off me. Now ,” I demanded.
He didn’t, and I saw the internal battle raging behind his eyes.
Someone’s not good at taking orders.
I’d thought he was just an overbearing jerk, but maybe Vaughn’s need to dominate was more than some sociopathic desire to piss people off. Maybe it was about being in control.
I delivered him a vicious stare. “You don’t like being bossed around by someone half your size, do you?”
His nostrils flared with each strained breath he took, making him appear even more unhinged than usual.
When he didn’t answer, my lips curved into a mocking grin. “Thought so.”
I reached out to shove Vaughn’s chest, but he caught my wrists in his grip. He held them firm, almost too tight. In the next instant, he hauled me against his solid wall of a body, keeping my hands restrained between us. There was something else lodged between us. Something very thick, very long, and getting harder by the second.
Sweet Jesus . The man was packing.
His chest heaved against my breasts. Slowly, Vaughn’s dark eyes lowered to where our bodies pressed together, and a muscle flexed in his jaw.
“Or maybe I’m wrong.” I glanced toward his erection briefly and lifted one brow. “Maybe you really like being told what to do.”
“Gatita”—he smirked—“I’m only hard because I’m imagining all the fun ways I can bring you into line.”
If he thought that would intimidate me, he was wrong.
“I’m not scared of that.” My eyes dipped below his waist again. “And I’m not scared of you.”
He leaned low so his lips were at my ear. His hot breath made my skin tingle, and a shiver racked my body. “You should be.”
I yanked my wrists away. Vaughn let go, and I lost balance, stumbling on the seabed and falling underwater. When I resurfaced, the asshole had already turned his back on me and was heading to shore.
“Hurry up,” he called over his shoulder. “We’ve got a phone call to make.”