Chapter 16
16
HOPE
W hen I’d entered the house in a prickly mood, Daphne had asked if I was okay. Truthfully, deep diving into my rescue had been traumatic, but Vaughn helping me with my cramp and the highly charged situation after had overshadowed that.
One minute, the man was tender, and the next, he was a complete jerk. It was almost as if he doubled down on being a dick because he couldn’t stand the thought of any kindness ruining his reputation.
I was also…confused. Not only due to Grim’s hot-and-cold attitude but also about how I could be attracted to someone like him at all.
“Here.” Dee handed me a stack of towels. “Give a couple to Vaughn, would you?”
I tried to think of a reason why I shouldn’t, then decided it was probably rude to expect Vaughn to air-dry after showering.
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes and snatched the towels, wrapping one around my waist.
Turning on my heel, I headed for the casita. I knocked, but Vaughn didn’t answer. The shower was running, so he was probably in the bathroom and couldn’t hear me. I opened the door a fraction, intending to leave the towels on the bed, then a crash like shattering tiles sounded from the shower.
What if he’d slipped and was hurt?
“Vaughn? Are you okay?”
Nothing but the sound of running water.
I crept toward the bathroom door, convinced that at any moment, Vaughn would call out that he was fine. But he didn’t.
Instead, he groaned, then muttered in a low tone, “Fuck.”
My mind filled with images of Vaughn on the floor, his head split open and blood leaking down the drain. That had happened to Dee only six months ago. Granted, she’d been battling an MS flare-up, but those tiles were slippery as hell. I’d feel terrible if Vaughn was hurt and I left without checking on him.
“Vaughn?” I called out one more time, and his only response was a groan.
That didn’t sound good. I threw the towels onto the bed.
That’s it. I’m going in.
The door was already ajar. I pushed it open a little and?—
Nope. Not hurt.
I’d made a mistake. A terrible mistake, because Vaughn wasn’t in pain. Quite the opposite, in fact.
With his back to me in the steamy room, he had one arm braced on the tiled wall and the other firmly pumping away. The dark ink covering his torso drew my eyes to where water streamed over his tan skin. Spanning the entirety of his back, a large skull with black eyes stared at me, and when Vaughn’s muscles flexed, the skull moved as if it were alive. I imagined the terrifying artwork was intended to invoke fear and warn people to stay away. All I wanted to do was touch it. To run my fingertips over every intricate detail just to know what it felt like.
I should’ve knocked. Why in God’s name hadn’t I knocked?
I mentally cursed myself for not buying a new shower curtain when the old one had fallen to pieces. A microsecond later, I congratulated myself for the same oversight, because, holy shit, this was the hottest thing I’d ever seen.
I didn’t want to be drawn to Vaughn. These days, I was all about sensible choices, and standing here, watching him get off, was a very bad one. Still, something about him called to me.
I should go before he noticed me standing here. At the very least, I should look away.
The problem with that? I couldn’t look away.
Not while Vaughn’s shoulders and biceps bunched with each powerful stroke. Not when he tossed his head back and hissed with rapture. Not even when he turned his head oh so slowly and looked me dead in the eye.
Mother. Fucker .
He knew exactly what he was doing, and judging by the challenging grin on his face, he was enjoying every second of this uncomfortable situation I’d walked in on.
Nope. No way. He didn’t get the satisfaction of rattling me. I would not let him one-up me with this…this performance. Did he think I’d be embarrassed? That I’d scream and run out of the room like some timid, virginal schoolgirl? Nuh-uh.
Grim was messing with the wrong woman.
Game on, asshole.
Without missing a beat, I let my eyes travel over the broad expanse of Vaughn’s tattooed torso, lingering on every bulky muscle and sinister piece of artwork. Water sluiced down his spine, over those delicious dimples on his lower back, and cascaded over his shapely, ink-free ass. Good God. I’d thought the man was huge when we’d first met, but seeing him naked, there was only one word to describe him.
Vaughn was a beast.
I swallowed deeply, and for a moment, his sheer size and obvious strength intimidated the heck out of me. He could overpower me so easily. I should be terrified by the thought, but as I continued watching him, tingles traveled straight to my core. Why did I like the idea of Vaughn pinning my wrists above my head and using me instead of his hand to bring him pleasure?
“You shouldn’t be in here, Gatita,” he said in warning, although it sounded more like a dare.
Stay if you can handle it.
Run if you’re afraid.
My mouth turned dry. “Do you want me to leave?”
“I didn’t say that.” Vaughn’s deep voice echoed through the small tiled room.
Heart pounding, I made my way to the far wall, putting as much distance between Vaughn and me as possible. Any closer and he’d spot my trembling hands and flushed neck. I wanted to appear confident and unflustered. I wanted him to be the one squirming under my calm gaze even though I felt as electrified as a high-voltage power line.
“Then don’t let me stop you.” I folded my arms and leaned against the wall, relying on its support to keep my jelly legs from buckling.
“Not like this.” He jerked his chin toward me. “Turn around.” And miss the show? When I frowned in confusion, he growled, “Turn around or leave.”
He’d laid out my options. I knew which one I ought to pick, yet I found myself following Vaughn’s instructions.
I’d lost my goddamn mind.
Sweat trickled down my neck. I told myself it was because of the steamy room, but that was a lie. My body would be overheated even if we were in Antarctica.
I tightened the towel around my waist and glanced over my shoulder through the mist. Vaughn’s smirk had vanished, and in its place he wore a steely expression. It was the look of a man tired of being tested, as if he’d been pushed too far and was about to put his foot down.
Oh, shit . Maybe I’d screwed up by staying? Maybe it wasn’t too late to?—
“Eyes to the wall.”
Something about Vaughn’s commanding tone had me rapidly doing as I was told.
The water switched off, and heavy footsteps approached. Then Vaughn’s large body crowded me in. My heart rate went into overdrive as I imagined all the wicked things I wanted him to do to me.
There was so much of him invading my personal space. He was hot and wet. Water dropped from his hair onto my back and shoulder. With nowhere else to go, I pressed my palms against the tiles. He seemed to like that, if the animalistic rumbling from his chest was any indication.
Then his lips were at my ear. “Last chance to leave. Walk out that door right now, or stay and help me finish.”
I wasn’t certain what kind of help he had in mind, but I really wanted to find out.
My panting breaths moistened the tiles before me. I’d lost the ability to form words. What would I even say at a moment like this? Vaughn had won. I was way out of my depth with this game, which suddenly didn’t feel like a game at all.
This was nuts. Stupid. Maybe Vaughn thought so, too. What if we were a couple of stubborn fools who’d called each other’s bluffs and neither was prepared to back down?
Worse yet, what if this inexplicable attraction between us only escalated after whatever happened next?
Dangerous territory, my mind screamed. Too bad my lady parts overruled it by yelling, Keep your prudish opinions to yourself!
I licked my lips. “Do you want me to?—”
“Don’t move. Stay just like that.”
Then I heard the unmistakable sound of him jerking off—jerking off to me . Faster now that he had me right where he wanted me. It was dirty. It was wrong. But I’d be damned if it wasn’t the most erotic thing I’d ever experienced.
He ripped the towel from my waist, leaving me in only my swimsuit.
“That ass,” Vaughn growled in an appreciative tone. “Fuck me, I want to sink my teeth into it.”
But he didn’t lay a finger or tooth on me even though I desperately wanted him to.
The low back on my one-piece left plenty of exposed skin and little to the imagination. I arched my spine and canted that booty to give him a better view. And I knew, I just knew, he was staring at it while stroking himself. I made a small noise and rubbed my thighs together, searching for friction to relieve the building ache.
I was learning a lot about myself today. Like, I was a total ho who wanted a hulk-sized jerk to do disgraceful things to me. The collection of colorful vibrating toys in my nightstand should’ve been a forewarning of my true nature, but here we were.
Vaughn slammed one hand on the wall beside my head, then his breath blew hot against my neck. Was he…sniffing me?
I sensed his movements quickening and wanted to turn around so badly, but somehow, I knew that was nonnegotiable. If I did, it would be over. He’d kick me out of the casita and finish on his own. For now, this was all Vaughn was willing to offer.
He breathed heavily, each exhalation heating my shoulder. Then he grunted from deep within his chest, and warmth splashed the bare skin of my lower back.
Oh. My. God.
I could hardly believe what we’d just done. What I’d let him do.
This was crazy. I’d only met this man last night, and it was fair to say we didn’t even like each other. Yet something I’d suppressed for a long time sparked to life within me, and the little devil on my shoulder, whom I never allowed myself to listen to, whispered, Give me more .
Vaughn cleaned me with a towel.
A laugh of disbelief bubbled from me. “Wow. That?—”
“Is never going to happen again,” he snapped. “You need to go.”
Wait. That was it? He couldn’t be serious. If he thought he could use me and toss me aside, he was out of his mind.
Then a sickening realization dawned on me.
Turn around.
Eyes on the wall.
He’d been adamant about those rules. Now that he was kicking me out of the room without looking at me or touching me, I knew exactly why.
Vaughn couldn’t stand to look at my face. His dick probably would’ve deflated if he’d caught a glimpse of my scars.
How could I have been so stupid? How could I have been so fucking naive? I’d seen the cruel looks from men in town. Looks that said, If only the other half of her face weren’t such a disaster . Why would Vaughn be any different?
My scars were hard to look at. I knew that, and I wouldn’t blame anyone for finding me unattractive. But to make me turn around so he could get the job done was disgusting.
He wouldn’t get away with treating me like that.
I spun fast to give him an earful. “You son of a bitch. How dare you—” The words froze on my tongue. Beneath Vaughn’s tattoos, raised welts covered his arms and torso. From a distance, the artwork all over his body concealed them, but up close, the crisscrossed lines were clear as day. It almost looked like tribal scarification, except the markings weren’t uniform. How hadn’t I noticed this before?
Vaughn winced like my discovery caused him pain.
My eyes scanned the rest of his body. Apart from the cuts, there were cigarette burns and other marks that looked like some kind of branding. I felt sick.
My mind worked overtime to process what I was looking at.
He always wore jeans and a long shirt. He’d left them on to swim in the ocean. He’d made me turn away just now, but what if it wasn’t so he didn’t have to look at me? What if it was so I couldn’t look at him ?
He didn’t want me to see his scars.
“Jesus, Vaughn. What happened to you?” Without thinking, I extended one hand toward the old wounds on his bicep. Before my fingertips made contact, Vaughn snatched my wrist in a firm grip.
“Don’t touch me,” he snarled. “ Never touch me.”
I was too shocked by the markings on his skin to be hurt by either his words or his tight hold. His eyes darkened, and the hand around my wrist trembled. Who was this terrified man staring back at me? Nothing about him resembled Vaughn at all.
“Okay.” I used a soothing tone. “I’m sorry. I won’t touch you. I promise.”
Something twisted inside my rib cage because there was only one explanation for what had happened to him.
Vaughn had been tortured.
Brutally.
How could anyone do that to another person?
My nausea surged once more when an image filled my mind of Vaughn alone in a dirty cell, bleeding from each of the cuts.
I couldn’t conceive the agony he’d endured receiving those injuries. How long had his ordeal lasted? Was this what Daphne had been referring to when she’d said, He’s been through stuff ? Clearly, she could’ve been more forthcoming.
I forced my gaze away from Vaughn’s scars to stare into his stricken eyes. It was hard to look at his injuries, but it hurt more to see the defeated expression on his face.
My brows pulled together. “Who did this to you?” Who had hurt this beautifully imperfect man so severely that he couldn’t stand the touch of a woman? And then a truly repulsive thought turned my stomach to lead. Had the man my father had intended for me to marry done this? “Oh my God. Was it Jorge?”
Vaughn gave a sharp shake of his head and said, “Get out.” He hauled me toward the door.
“Wait. Vaughn, stop! You’re hurting me.” But only because I struggled against his hold.
Before I could get another word in, he shoved me outside, threw the cum-stained towel at my chest, and slammed the door in my face.