Chapter 27
27
VAUGHN
W hen I reached the shore, I ran to the nearest bushes and vomited the contents of my gut. It didn’t lessen my nausea. I still felt sick over what I’d done to Hope.
I’d gripped her wrists so aggressively she’d have bruises. Any tighter and I would’ve snapped bones. The thought made me retch again.
I needed to hurt for what I’d done to her. I needed to make this aching guilty feeling go away.
What I wouldn’t give to be at a bar so I could pick a fight with the biggest, meanest asshole there and let him lay into me until I was a beaten, bloody mess.
I should never have agreed to let her put her hands on me. It was stupid. So stupid. It’ll take more than a few touches to fix me, and I wasn’t willing to risk Hope in the process. I wasn’t worth her efforts.
Why was I such a useless motherfucking screwup?
“Vaughn.” Hope came up behind me. “I’m fine. I promise.”
I spun to face her. “We’re done. We’re never trying that again.”
“Why not?”
“Are you kidding me?” I pressed my hands to my temples, then gestured to her wrists. “Look what I did to you!”
“Would you stop focusing on the negatives? You were doing so well. And I’m not as delicate as you think.”
I went to her and took her face between my palms. My thumbs traced circles over her cheeks. She was so damn beautiful. “But you are, Hope. Don’t you see? To me, you’re—” I bit my words off, because what the fuck had I been about to say? That despite only knowing her a few days, she meant something to me? That I cared about her? I couldn’t say those things to Hope. I was out of my goddamn mind.
“What, Vaughn?” She leaned in, her intense stare holding mine. “What am I to you?”
Get your head on straight, Decker.
“Nothing.” I swallowed deeply. “You’re a job. You’re just the woman I’m protecting.”
“Really? Is that all?” She narrowed her eyes, then glanced at my chest where her palms were splayed over my pecs.
Her hands were on me. Her hands were on me, and I wasn’t losing my shit.
She pulled away, each of us releasing our hold on the other.
“I have to get ready for work.” Hope turned toward the house. “You coming?”