Chapter 33
33
VAUGHN
I pressed a kiss between Hope’s shoulder blades as I recovered my breath. “What have you done to me?”
She sucked down lungfuls of air and leaned her forehead on the counter. “Pretty sure that was all you.”
Except I wasn’t talking about how phenomenal the sex had been. Hope had no idea how significant this was for me. Since my capture, I didn’t seek attention from women, but often enough it found me, usually in a seedy bar right before closing. You didn’t venture into a dirty bathroom stall with a man like me and expect to be treated like a princess.
I never kissed those women. I never made the slightest effort to satisfy them, because I didn’t give a shit about their pleasure. And if they knew what was good for them, they’d never flick their hair or bat their lashes in my direction ever again.
But all that had changed with Hope. I didn’t care if my nuts turned blue while I gave her ten orgasms. This overwhelming craving to be near her, to touch her, and to make sure she was safe was freaking me the fuck out. These feelings were…terrifying, and I didn’t know what to do about it.
Unfortunately for Hope, boyfriend material I was not. It didn’t matter. She was mine, and I was keeping her, and that was all there was to it.
“You came inside me,” she said, drawing me from my thoughts.
I ran my hands over the smooth skin of her back. My cock was still blissfully warm buried balls deep. “You’re on the pill. You take it every morning.”
“How did you”—she narrowed her eyes—“You’ve been going through my makeup bag.”
“It’s my job to know everything about you. What if you had a medical condition and didn’t tell me? And don’t worry. I’m clean. I’d never put you at risk like that.”
It was more than a little late for this conversation, but in the many times I’d fantasized about fucking Hope, I’d already considered using protection and found no reason why we should.
“You’re lucky I’m high on postorgasmic endorphins; otherwise, I’d be mad at you.”
“Be mad all you want. As long as you’re on the pill, I’m going to keep taking this pussy bare.”
“You’re such an arrogant son of a bitch.” She shook her head, but the small smile playing on her lips told me she wasn’t all that upset. “Do you have something against condoms?”
“No. I’ve always used them. I just don’t want to with you.”
“Why not?”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t feel right, I guess.”
Because even the thinnest of barriers between us was too much. I was certain that said something about my current mental state, but I refused to think about it right now.
I inspected the red handprints on Hope’s ass. They’d disappear in an hour or two, and as sexy as they looked on her skin, seeing them filled me with the urge to take care of her.
I pulled out and tucked myself back into my jeans, then I snatched a hand towel from the rack, wet it under the faucet, and crouched at Hope’s feet.
“Can I turn around now?” she asked.
“No.” I ran the damp cloth up each of her legs.
Hope flinched when I reached her pussy. “It’s cold.”
“Any pain?”
“A little tender and I’m not mad about it.”
One side of my lips tilted up. “That’s my girl.” There were those words again. Christ. I really was in trouble. Finished cleaning, I tossed the cloth into the sink. “Right. Up straight. Arms at your sides.”
Hope gave me a curious look but obeyed. I wrapped her from shoulders to knees in a large bath towel, pinning her arms in, then scooped her up, bridal style.
A surprised laugh erupted from her. “Is this really necessary?”
I headed for Hope’s bedroom, unable to look away from her beautiful face still flushed from the orgasms I’d given her. “Which part? Turning you into a human burrito or carrying you to your room?”
“Both.”
I wasn’t ready to give her space, and I couldn’t risk her touching me. This was my solution.
“Yeah. They’re necessary.”
I laid Hope on the bed, unwrapped the towel, and tucked the bedsheet around her.
“I like that you’re making an effort to take care of me. But it’s okay. I know this isn’t the part where we cuddle and fall asleep together.” She threw the words I’d used a few nights ago back at me. She couldn’t be more wrong.
“Actually, it is.” Although probably not in the way she was expecting.
Lying beside her but on top of the covers, I spooned Hope while keeping her arms against her chest. Her hair tickled my nose as I nuzzled her neck, breathing in her scent. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” The way her voice caught made me happier than it should. Her contented sigh made me happier still.
Holding Hope like this felt…fuck, it felt good. I released the tight breath that had been trapped in my lungs and allowed myself to enjoy this glimmer of a seminormal moment. We weren’t skin to skin—that would never happen. But if someone had told me a week ago that I’d be curled up in bed with a woman I cared about, I’d have erupted in fits of laughter like the Joker.
Finding Hope was an unexpected gift I didn’t deserve. Would she want anything to do with me once we’d taken down her father? I didn’t want to think about that right now.
She wriggled her ass against me.
“You wanna stop that, because I’m more than ready to give you another thorough fucking.”
She hummed as though considering my threat. “What if I told you that’s exactly what I want?”
“Then you’ll get what’s coming to you. But first, we need to talk.”
“This sounds serious.”
I pressed my lips to her neck. “It’s about the phone call you overheard earlier. I need to fly to Puerto Escondido tonight for a meeting with el Capitán.”
Hope glanced over her shoulder. “Miguel Torres?”
“Yeah. You know him?”
“Only what Carlos has told me. The Red Hand has been doing my father’s dirty work for the last ten years.” Her brow furrowed as she glanced over her shoulder. “Are you nervous about the meeting?”
“Not about the meeting. I can’t leave you here unprotected.”
She rolled to face me, and I flinched before realizing her hands were still beneath the covers. If Hope noticed my reaction, she didn’t say anything.
She pressed her lips together. “Then reschedule.”
“That’s not how this works. Standard procedure is for them to call with little warning so there’s no time to plan an ambush. As it is, I won’t know exactly where in Puerto Escondido the meeting is being held until thirty minutes before. There isn’t time to move you to Montana or to bring someone from the team here.”
“I’ll go to Mari’s house and stay with her.”
I squeezed her tighter. “I’m not comfortable with that.”
And it wasn’t only because leaving Hope unprotected was unacceptable. The inconvenient truth was that I’d turned into an obsessive stage-five clinger and couldn’t stand the thought of letting her out of my sight. I’d sooner skip the trip to Puerto Escondido than leave her side.
“How important is the meeting?” When I hesitated to answer, she added in a stern tone, “Tell me.”
I sighed. “If Brandon can’t find the compound with your intel, getting inside la Mano Roja could be our only chance at securing a new lead. Plus, there’s the cargo they want me to ship.”
“What cargo?”
“He wouldn’t say over the phone, but it’ll be women and drugs. I haven’t done a job for el Capitán in years. When our intel found that his shipments were getting larger and more frequent, I reached out to a few connections to let them know I was back in the game and that I had a large transport plane at my disposal. It would’ve been suspicious if I ran straight to Torres chasing work, so I had to wait for him to approach me. If he gives me this job, there’s a chance the trafficked women will be moved directly from my plane to the cartel compound, leading our team straight to it.”
“Then you have to go to the meeting.” Hope wore a resolute expression. “What if I come with you to Puerto Escondido?”
“And I stash you somewhere while I go to the meeting? I’d rather leave you here.”
“Then take me with you.”
I frowned. “To the meeting? No fucking way.”
She couldn’t be serious.
“Why not? They won’t know who I am. Just tell them I’m your girlfriend.”
“Miguel Torres knows your father. What if he’s seen a photo of you on his desk?”
She scoffed. “Carlos isn’t sentimental like that. And even if Miguel has seen an old photo of me, I look nothing like I did three years ago. The scars. The hair. You saw the image in my file and almost didn’t recognize me. Besides, everyone thinks I’m dead.”
“Just…no. All right? I’d be going out of my fucking mind with you there, and I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.”
“Will you be able to concentrate if I’m not there?”
I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to her shoulder. “This idea is crazy.”
“You said you know Miguel from jobs you did for la Mano Roja years ago. Are you expecting trouble when you see him?”
“No. Past meetings have been informal. Drinking. Music. Enough blow to light up a Playboy Mansion party.”
“Girls?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
Her jaw hardened. “Then I’m definitely going. There’s no way I’m letting some hussy lay her hands on you.”
I smiled to myself. “I like this jealous side of you.”
“You think you’re the only one with a possessive streak? I almost scratched Mari’s eyes out when she made a pass at you.”
“Did you now?” I rolled on top of her, my thighs on either side of her hips and my fists beside her ears. “This works both ways, Gatita. I told you earlier what kind of loyalty I expect from you, but the same applies to me. I’m not interested in other women. They don’t get my attention. They may as well not even exist. I’ve claimed you, and that means I’m yours, too.”
She lifted her chin in that defiant way of hers. “Do I get a say in it?”
“No. You already had your chance to back out.”
Her eyes softened. “I don’t want to back out. I’m happy about this.”
Happy now, but for how long?
I glanced down at her body cocooned in a blanket, and a pang of self-loathing stabbed me square in the gut. This was what it took just so I could be near her without freaking out. “Even if you can’t touch me? Even if I might hurt you?”
“You won’t hurt me. I wish you had more faith in yourself. And I won’t pretend to be happy about not touching you, because I want to more than anything. Maybe in time we can work through your fear.”
“I want that, too. But what if we can’t?” I curled her hair behind her ear. “I’m damaged goods, Hope. I can’t even lie with you and hold you right. I know my issues are a lot to deal with. If it becomes too much, if I’m not giving you what you need, you have to?—”
“Shh. You’re giving me everything I need. I mean it. And don’t try to solve tomorrow’s problems today. We’ll deal with any setbacks as they arise, okay?”
Setbacks? Me being an unstable screwup was hardly a setback. Maybe one day, she’d realize I wasn’t good enough for her. It would have to be Hope who ended things, because I was too selfish to give her up, and God help any man who tried to take her from me.
The truth was, I’d do just about anything to keep this woman. And even though it went against my better judgment, having her at the meeting with el Capitán seemed like the only solution to our immediate problem.
An idea formed in my mind, one that Hope would hate, but goddamn, it was brilliant.
“You know what?” I chewed on my lip. “I think there’s a way to have you at the meeting without raising suspicion. Better yet, your presence might even be helpful.”
“Color me intrigued. What are you thinking?”
“It’s probably best if I don’t tell you until we get to Puerto Escondido.”
“I’m not sure I like the sound of that.” She frowned, and when her plump bottom lip stuck out, I leaned in and bit it.
“Do you trust me?” I asked, and undid my belt buckle.
Hope noticed, and her eyes widened. I supposed she didn’t know if I planned to use the belt on her ass or to tie her up.
“Yes?”
Her uncertain tone made me chuckle.
“Don’t move.” I removed my belt and shifted back enough to drag the blanket down her body, casting my gaze over her luscious tits and rounded hips. “You know that as long as I’m breathing, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you?”
“I do.” There was no doubt in her voice this time, and it made me feel twice the man I was.
“Good.” I wrapped the belt around Hope’s slender wrists and secured them to the headboard. Her breasts rose and fell with each quickened breath, beckoning me to take her dusky nipples in my mouth. I couldn’t let myself get distracted by her body. Not yet. “If I let you come to the meeting, you have to do everything I ask without question. I can’t have you getting mouthy with every Mano Roja member who looks at you like a piece of meat or, God forbid, forgets his manners.” I gave her a pointed look.
“I’ll be on my best behavior. I want to help, Vaughn. I need to contribute in a more meaningful way than the useless breadcrumbs of information I’ve given you so far. I’m ready to step up and do whatever it takes.”
I had a feeling that after the meeting, I’d need to remind her of her pledge.
“That’s the right answer.” I stood and slowly made my way to the end of the bed.
She watched me closely as I stripped out of my jeans and boxer briefs.
This wasn’t about flexing my muscles or letting Hope get a good look at how hard she made me. I stood before her, naked as the day I was born, to let her see the full extent of my damaged skin.
Countless times, Hope had shown me how brave she could be. She’d been open and vulnerable in sharing trauma from her past. She stood up to those who tried to intimidate her. And she lived a full and satisfying life despite the inescapable fear of being dragged back to the one she hated.
The thing that slayed me to my soul was the way she trusted me. With her safety and her body. Maybe even her heart. I wasn’t worthy, but I wanted to be.
Showing Hope my scars in all their stark brutality was a small step toward lowering my walls. I did it because I trusted her, too, and being vulnerable before Hope wasn’t as terrifying as I’d thought it would be. It just felt…right.
Hope’s amber gaze roamed over me, cautious but determined, and the only emotion reflected in them was desire. “You’re the most mouthwatering man I’ve ever laid eyes on.”
It still amazed me that Hope saw something pleasing where I saw horror. But then, didn’t she feel the same about her scars? And I’d never thought her anything but stunning.
She licked her lips before meeting my eyes once more. “Thank you.”
No more needed to be said. She accepted the part of me that for years had caused me to feel shame and disgust.
I nodded and swallowed thickly as the knot in my sternum unraveled a little more.
My captors had turned me into a feral, untouchable animal, and I fucking hated them for it. Worse than that, I despised myself for letting them have that control over me. They weren’t here anymore, holding me down. Why did I let them keep ruining my life?
And somehow—God, I didn’t know how she did it—Hope was bringing me back. She gave me purpose. She gave me strength. All I had to do was look at her and it was like a hundred-pound load lifted from my shoulders.
Before meeting Hope, I hadn’t been living. Not really. Her presence acted as a defibrillator to my withered heart and soul.
I tore the sheet from the bed, revealing the rest of her body. Hope shifted on the covers impatiently, her thighs rubbing together with the desperation of a junkie chasing her next fix. But it was a different kind of high she needed, and I knew exactly how to give it to her.
“There’s another first we need to scratch off your list.” I angled my chin low. “Be a good girl and spread your legs for me.”
Without uttering a word, she parted her knees slowly.
My eyes widened as I gazed upon her the way a starving man ogled a feast. “Goddamn, you’re beautiful.”
I placed one knee on the bed and then the other, wasting no time positioning myself between Hope’s thighs. “Wider,” I growled, and nudged them apart.
“Vaughn?” Hope said in a beseeching tone.
“Uh-uh.” I shook my head, my mouth barely an inch from the holy motherland. “You don’t need to beg this time, Gatita. This is all for me. Now, let me show you how I worship this pussy.”
I gripped her thighs, pushing them wider still, and held her in place. We both moaned at the first pass of my tongue. The second made Hope hiss and curse. I took my time, alternating between exploring her folds and lapping at her clit.
“Your mouth feels amazing,” Hope said, sounding a little breathless.
When I focused my efforts on her swollen little bud, she squirmed beneath me, arching her hips off the bed. “Keep still, or I’ll stop.”
“Don’t stop!” she snapped. “Don’t ever stop.”
My eager little minx liked this.
I smiled and kept working her, content to stay down here all day if I could. Hope’s noises became more desperate and her movements more frantic. She was so close. I wanted nothing more than to feel her come apart with my mouth between her legs, so I sucked on her clit and pushed two fingers inside her.
“Oh my God.” The leather belt creaked as Hope twisted. “That. Keep doing?—”
With a strained cry, her body tensed. Hope’s slick walls clamped around my fingers. And the moan she made as she came, had anything ever sounded so good?
“That’s it.” I plunged my fingers in and out. “I need you wet and ready for me, because I’m about to take you hard again.”
She only whimpered in response.
I shifted over Hope until my hips met the cradle of hers. Then I gave her gorgeous tits the attention they deserved, squeezing them and sucking each nipple until they turned into hardened peaks.
I pressed her breasts together. “I’m going to fuck these one day soon, too. Paint your pretty neck with my cum. Or maybe I’ll finish in your mouth.”
“That sounds…so dirty. I want to try it.” Hope’s tongue darted out to moisten her lips, and I felt it in my dick.
“Woman, you’ll be the death of me.” If she kept talking like that, I was going to nut before getting inside her.
Enough screwing around.
I was about to flip Hope onto her stomach but paused. I didn’t want to do her from behind. I wanted us to be face-to-face so I could stare into her whiskey-colored eyes when I moved in her. The same way I had in all my fantasies this past week.
I positioned the head of my cock at her entrance, lubing the tip in her juices.
“Do it. Please.” Hope wrapped her legs around my waist. “I need to feel you.”
I grimaced from trying to hold back because I wanted this time to be slower. I should be more careful with her. More in control. But Hope had me so worked up that my only thoughts were to be inside her, to fill her up and claim her. As if fucking her senseless would mark her in some way and let everyone know who she belonged to. It was messed up to think like that. My only explanation was that she brought out a primal instinct in me, and blocking it was futile.
Hope sucked in a sharp breath when I thrust inside and buried myself to the hilt. There were no protests from her this time. Only a blissed-out moan as she tilted her head back in ecstasy.
I fought the urge to rut her and pressed my lips to hers, delving my tongue inside her mouth while my cock pulsed within her. “You take me so perfectly.”
The smile she aimed at me was downright wicked. “Not so pure and inexperienced anymore, am I?”
“You are, but I have plans to destroy every last fiber of your innocence.”
The leather around Hope’s hands creaked again as she shifted, and something tugged at my chest. It wasn’t right, keeping her bound like that. Guilt ate at me for forcing her to accept my rules, but I was too scared of how I might hurt her if she laid her hands on me. Now wasn’t the time for experimenting and pushing my limits.
“Vaughn?” Hope panted, ripping me from my train of thought.
“Yes, beautiful?” I ran my fingertips over her scars.
“I need you to stop playing around and fuck me like you mean it.”
This woman was going to drain my balls dry.
“Yes, ma’am.”
I hitched Hope’s legs higher and gave her what she’d asked for. But I didn’t take my lips from hers. I’d forgotten how good it felt to be chest to chest, mouth to mouth. Not that any of the women I’d been with precaptivity compared to Hope.
A long time ago, I’d thought I’d been in love. Turned out I had just wanted something I couldn’t have, and the emotions hadn’t been real at all.
Maybe that was what this thing with Hope was. An infatuation. An obsession. Except nothing about our week together felt fake. Either way, Hope had me in a choke hold, and I didn’t want her to let go.
Why was I even thinking about this stuff? Fucking and emotions had no business mixing. Inside my head, a voice laughed with ridicule. As much as I wanted to deny it, my feelings for Hope were as entangled as our bodies.
To distract myself, I drove in harder. Deeper. Hope encouraged me by arching her spine and making more of those sexy little sounds that drove me wild. Propping her feet over my shoulders, I tilted her hips up and hammered into her.
“Oh my God,” Hope mumbled as her lids shut.
“Hey.” I slapped her ass, and she yelped. “Eyes on me.”
“Always so bossy.” There was enough sass in her tone to earn her another slap.
Instead, I reached between her thighs and stroked her clit with my thumb, eliciting a delirious groan from Hope’s throat.
I raised my brows. “You wanna play that game?”
“What game?”
“The one where you’re a brat who needs taming, because I will edge you until you’re screaming for relief if you don’t watch that mouth of yours.”
Hope’s jaw dropped open. “You wouldn’t.”
I smirked and pulled my thumb away. “Have I failed to deliver on any of my promises yet?”
“Fine.” She had the wisdom to look contrite. “I’ll be good.”
“Yes, you will.” Although we both knew how much I enjoyed her defiant playfulness. I returned my thumb to her sweet spot. “Now come for me, because I need to fill this pussy again.”
It didn’t take long to have Hope writhing beneath me once more. The whole time, she kept her eyes on mine like I’d asked.
Then I saw it. The euphoric expression she made right before she reached her climax. Face flushed. Lips parted. Eyes a little glassy.
“That’s it, Gatita. I’m right there with you.”
Hope’s whole body jerked, and she cried out. The moment she throbbed around me, I let myself go. Not long after, I came so hard I damn near saw stars.
I let her legs drop around my waist and leaned forward to take her mouth again. I wasn’t sure what Hope thought about all this kissing, but now that I’d started, I didn’t want to stop.
Brushing long strands of dark hair from her face, I nuzzled her neck and licked her salty skin.
“Stop it.” Hope giggled, turning her face away. “I’m all sweaty.”
“And I have every intention of keeping you that way.”
“I probably stink.”
I grunted. “You don’t. You smell like me.”
Maybe I wouldn’t let her shower before we flew to Puerto Escondido.
We’d have to leave soon. The fly time would be roughly two hours. Since the meeting would carry on well into the night, we’d have to wait until the next day to fly home because the dirt strip just out of town had no runway lights.
Torres liked to get the business formalities taken care of before the entertainment kicked off, and I had no doubt he’d expect us to party right along with his crew. He’d consider it a massive disrespect if we bolted as soon as the meeting concluded. We were in for a long night.
Aside from figuring out how to inconspicuously skip the copious lines of coke we’d be offered and keep the mezcal shots to a minimum, I didn’t anticipate any problems. The Red Hand was a bunch of wild men, but I’d maintained a solid working relationship with their upper ranks.
Yet I couldn’t help feeling like everything was a little too right in my world. Too perfect.
I had Hope—a phenomenal woman who should want nothing to do with the likes of me but miraculously did—and the phone call I’d waited months for had finally come.
That much good luck never overlapped in my world. Where was the sucker punch going to come from?
Was it stupid to take Hope to the meeting? Possibly. A bigger part of me thought it was riskier to leave her here unprotected. The dipshits I’d beat up at the restaurant would’ve nursed their battered bodies and egos all week. If they were going to strike back, it could happen any day now. I didn’t want to think about what messed-up things they’d do to Hope if I wasn’t around.
And in the back of my mind was that fucker Enrique. What would he do if he found out I’d left Hope on her own?
No. There was no chance in hell I’d leave her here.
It didn’t matter. My headstrong girl had made up her mind that we were both going to Puerto Escondido, and she’d never forgive me if we missed the opportunity to find her father.
So tonight, we’d embark on a delicate mission, because this meeting with the enemy might be the only path toward taking down the cartel.
The problem was that every cell in Hope’s body would violently object to the role she would have to play. I’d done a lot of things to upset her, but asking her to do this topped them all.
Would she ever forgive me?
End of book 1