43. Water
Water
I walked away.
It wasn’t long after Quinn pulled the shard out of my side before Simone, Maisie, and the cousins approached. They were cut and wounded, but they were starting to heal or had healed already for the most part. I breathed a sigh of relief at the sight.
They let me and Quinn know that the blood witch-fae had fled not long after tossing the blade to Zaria with the Archive Guardians going after her, knowing they might not be able to catch up to her. They hadn’t gotten her name and her face had been shrouded in a bloody mask of fog, but they knew that she was working with Zaria to collect dragon blood to use for her magic. She needed a book from the Vault for a spell, but they didn’t know what book or what she intended to do. I honestly only half-listened. Knowing that everyone was okay was all that mattered to me.
I needed to leave.
Simone asked what would happen to Zaria now. Quinn advised that she would be shipped out in the next hour to the Hunter’s Council to decide her fate. She definitely wouldn’t be coming anywhere near me again, Quinn promised. As Cody and Cole lifted the still unconscious Zaria from the floor, I mumbled something to Simone and Maisie about talking to them later. I didn’t linger for their response, instead heading straight to the elevator. I stepped on to it. I pressed the button to descend, preparing to let my emotions take control. Knowing we were physically safe again, my dragon receded, taking my wings, tail, and everything else with her until I was human-appearing again.
Just before the doors closed, though, a large hand stopped them. I knew before the doors retracted who it was.
My tears were falling before Quinn boarded the elevator. She allowed the doors to close and us to go down a few floors, then she pressed the stop button to ensure we were stuck together.
I wanted to create a crystal pillar through the ceiling to give me a way out.
I wanted to fly away.
It all just hurt .
I was so consumed by it. I didn’t even know where to start. An ex-girlfriend who was a huntress trying to kill me? Dragon hunters in general, like the ones that killed both of my parents and my aunt as well as tried to kill me and the rest of my small family? Blood fitches working with them to make weapons using dragon blood? My blood, bones, scales, and essence being used to buy someone’s fucking Tesla? My girlfriend that I loved so much I would give my heart to if she needed it was a part of it all? I had dreamed of a future with her. And now? Did I even know this woman?
Of course you do. She has saved your life, protected you. She’s our fated mate. She loves you.
But how could I love someone who could kill me? How could I trust her?
She could have killed you before. She is our fated mate. She loves you.
It’s dangerous. What would my parents?—?
She is our fated mate. She loves you. Love should be enough.
The war in my head was giving me a migraine. I closed my eyes and held my head in my hands to try to calm it.
“Byrdie—” Quinn started.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as I looked up at her. She was blurry behind all my tears that I couldn’t stop shedding.
“How could I, Byrd?” Quinn’s eyes were wet, too. “Putting aside that I couldn’t tell you until you knew about hunters, there was never a good time or a good way to do it.”
“That day that we played human? You could have done it then.”
“And robbed you of the time you needed to heal? You had just found out that my ex-girlfriend wanted you dead and had tried to kill you. You needed that. I wanted that for you. I’m sorry, but I’m also not?—”
Our mate is right. You know she is ? —
I shook my head, interrupting Quinn and my thoughts. “How many?”
“How many what?”
“How many of my kind have you killed?”
“None.”
I was taken aback. “What? How is that?—?”
“I have killed fifteen werewolves, nine wendigos, three fae, and one siren. I have killed more vampires than I can remember. I have killed over thirty-five shifters of varying species. And I have killed six witches gone rogue. I have kidnapped. I have tortured. I have maimed. I have done some fucked up shit, things that I regret, things I wish I could forget and that I will never say out loud because I don’t want to even think about them. But,” Quinn inhaled long and deep after her rushed words. “I have never killed a dragon, and I won’t, unless they threaten you or my life.”
“Quinn—”
“My family has killed dragons. I will admit that. My father has done it. My mother has done it. My grandmother has done it. But we haven’t gone on a mission to do so in years . It’s been… we lost too much.”
“Quinn—”
“I am a huntress, but I am not a dragon-huntress.”
I shook my head, clinging to my sides tight enough to sting. “I am a dragon-shifter, though. My parents were dragon-shifters, Quinn. They were hunted and murdered. My aunt, too. I cannot ignore that. They would not want me to be so reckless. I can’t. I have lost so much. They sacrificed too much for me.”
“They are not ghosts, Byrd.” When I looked at her, confused, she came right up to me. I leaned against the wall of the elevator as she invaded my space. There was nowhere for me to go. She was all I could see, all I could focus on. She took my face in her hands, and all I could do was bathe in her honey stare. She continued, “They won’t haunt you, and you shouldn’t feel like they should. They want you to be happy. What happened to them was the worst thing to happen to you, but it will not happen to us. I would never, ever hurt you. I would never ever let anyone hurt you. You have to know that. It would kill me to see you hurt. Seeing you get stabbed today? I wished a thousand times over it was me. It took everything in me not to keep kicking that fucking perra until she never could lay eyes on you again, let alone lift a blade against you. You don’t understand, Byrd. I love you . I would kill anyone just for thinking about laying a hand against you. You saw me today. You have seen me every day we have been together. I love you so much. I know you feel it, too.”
I sobbed big, ugly tears. Quinn delicately wiped away my tears with her thumbs. The action was so tender and soft. It made me cry harder. Her hands were rough, most likely from her work. This girl was capable of murder. She had used her hands to take the lives of monsters. She knew her way around a blade and had used her knowledge in the past. She killed for profit. Her whole family did.
And yet.
Quinn also knew her way around a knife in the kitchen, cooking food that made me cry with how good it was. Those same hands knew how to retwist my locs and make them look better than anyone in a salon had. Her hands were always so perfect when they held me like I was the most precious thing to behold. She made me feel beauty in my personality, my appearance, my everything. No one made me feel more like I could do anything I wanted. She knew how to spoil me. She always knew the right words to say to bring me from the cliff of my own anxiety. Quinn could cut right to my broken soul, through all the defenses I had built. But when she saw the fragile and scarred thing that it was, she didn’t want to end it with her blade. She knew just how to protect and take care of it.
Her cousins may have murdered, but no one made me laugh harder and feel more like a member of their gang.
Her mother may have killed my people, but no one had made me feel more a part of a family before.
Her family reminded me of home.
Quinn was my home.
I did feel her words. Through all of my thoughts, I knew they were right. My dragon, fighting in my head, was right. Quinn healed that ache in my chest, that void that had existed since my parents died. She eased it. I was able to breathe with her around. I had been broken, so broken, but she held me together. Every time I felt like I was falling, she caught me before I came close to the ground. I felt safe because she had me. Always.
I loved her.
In spite of everything, I loved her.
I choked on a sob, my voice cracking as the words tumbled out. “But I’m a dragon-shifter. You were raised to hate me, weren’t you?”
Quinn shook her head. “They don’t raise us to feel anything either way, at least not in my family. We are trained on how to do our jobs. There are no feelings attached to it. As my father says, feelings get in the way, so check them at the door and get shit done. Do some members of my family only want hunters to be with hunters? Yeah, that prejudice exists. But I’m not like that.” Quinn’s lips quirked up. “My mom taught me not to see what a supernatural is, but the soul that is inside.”
I rolled my eyes and leveled her with a look through my tears. “You cannot ‘I don’t see color’ your way through this, ma’am. I have killed before. It was when I was young. They hunted me into a cave, and I killed some of them?—”
“You were in danger. It was self-defense, I’m sure.”
“You don’t know that. I’m a monster, a murderer. I didn’t know for sure they wanted to kill me, but they had tortured my mother and they were closing in on me. I had felt scared. I was so scared, Quinn. My dragon took over, and she just wanted me to survive. I had to do what it took to survive, but they lost their lives. They could have had loved ones and families, and I just?—”
“Byrd, Byrd, breathe, baby. Take a breath. Respire hondo , yeah? Please, babe,” Quinn reassured, inhaling and motioning me to follow. I did as she instructed, but the tears continued to stream. Quinn looked into my eyes, hers full of worry. “You are not a monster, okay?”
“You don’t know that. You don’t know the whole story. Zaria mentioned your code?—”
“One, fuck that bitch until the day she dies. She’s wrong. We do have a code. We kill those who have killed, but it isn’t that simple. We kill those who have killed for the hell of it. They kill because they enjoy it. There is no reason for it. We kill bad people, sweetness. Like that vamp on your birthday. The code is a means to solidify the abilities that we have. Hunters can sense those we need to… that we will be assigned to. I don’t sense anything like that from you.”
I sniffled. “What do you sense from me, then?”
“I sense a girl that has been hurt so many times that as much as you want love you are scared of getting hurt again.”
“Read me like a book, why don’t you?” I choked on another sob.
“I read you more like a poem, if we are being honest. I want to read you so much that you are ingrained in my soul, and I can recite you from my heart. But I’m not done,” Quinn continued when I opened my mouth. “ I sense my girl, my sweetness, mi tesoro , my love. I sense someone that I would kill for. If anyone hurt you, Byrd, I would hunt, kidnap, torture, and murder them, even if they just gave you a paper cut. I have never felt this way about anyone before, but I would make that person feel your pain a thousandfold. I would burn the world down if it meant keeping you safe.”
“What about your family? They know now.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“What if they decided it does?”
Quinn’s eyes lit up like a forest fire. “I would fucking love to see them try.”
“I don’t ever want to force you to choose between me or your family, Quinn. That’s not right.”
“Byrd. That doesn’t matter to me. I have given my family everything my entire life at the risk of my own happiness. It’s time I did something that would make me happy for a chance. They can go fuck off.”
My heart fluttered despite myself. All rational, logical thought told me this was a bad idea, but those thoughts were losing footing in my head as my soul cried out for her. With each passing moment, Quinn became more and more of the right thing to do, to have, to be with. I was already leaning into her touch, into her body. My brain made one last ditch effort, one final argument.
“But you know how to kill me,” I said weakly.
“I do indeed.” Quinn’s eyes darkened and heated at the same time. My heart sank briefly until she continued. “I know how you like to be called a good girl and how it makes your pulse quicken. I know how biting you drives you wild, especially on those pretty little scales of yours. I know you love scratching me, and it drives you wild. I know how to make you scream my name like you are begging for mercy. I know how to make you see heaven. I do know how to make you experience little deaths and come back to life again. And I know that you are addicted to it like a saint to prayer.
“The thing is, Byrd, I am just as obsessed with you. I worship you and you know how to kill me as well as I know how to kill you. We are not oil and water, not opposing sides. We are a wildfire that no one can contain. You are not in danger with me, mi tesoro .”
“I know,” I sighed before admitting. “I have actually never felt safer.”
Quinn took me up in her arms, holding me tight to not only put me back together but to seal it. Her chest vibrated against the side of my face as she said. “What do we do now?”
“Can you take me home?”