Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
RAMONA
I checked my phone again before shoving it back in my pocket. No text back from Río, no matter how many times I looked.
The sun was brutal overhead, air like a convection oven with the slight breeze wafting from the lake. I dug my fingers back into the earth, pulling another sweet potato from the damp soil that filled the raised bed. With a little more force than necessary, I threw it into the basket I kept beside me and continued down the row.
“How’s the book coming, Sylv?” Josie drawled in between ear-splitting slurps from her straw. It made me cringe, but I didn’t say anything. Just kept focusing on the coolness of the dirt and smooth ridges of the vegetables I was harvesting. On what O would decide to make with them. And certainly not on my infuriatingly silent phone.
Sylvie sighed, “It’s fine. I’m taking some time away from it a little. My brain always rejects something about being firmly in the middle of drafting.”
“Does the main character die at the end in this one, too?”
Sylvie snorted, “Wouldn’t you like to know.” After a moment, she called over to me from where the two of them were lounging on the back porch, “Are you still doing okay, Ramona? You really don’t have to harvest those right now. They’d be fine for at least a few days more.”
I dropped another one into the basket, creating a sea of dirty orange and yellow leaves. I twisted to look over my shoulder at them, and strands of my hair stuck to my sweating neck. “I’m good.” Sylvie and Josie were laying out in bikinis underneath a large umbrella. They both glistened with a layer of sweat, and I eyed their scant clothing with envy. The denim shorts I was wearing were borrowed from Sylvie, as the only two pairs I’d brought were both in the wash. Even with their scandalously short length, I was dripping.
But being out here amidst Sylvie and Josie’s jovial chatter and with my attention on the garden was far better than being alone with my thoughts pressing against the slivers of hope that felt shaky and paper clipped together.
“Well, come up here and take a break at least. You’re gonna pass out with that sweatshirt on.” I wiped at my forehead with the back of my wrist, but I still felt the grit of soil leave a gross smear on my skin.
My instinct was to snap back at Sylvie’s friend, but the sweating pitcher of lemonade that sat on the table beside them started calling to me.
I clapped my hands over the garden bed, trying to clean them off as much as I could. My legs had already deepened in color a full shade or two, and my muscles felt both tight and stretchy as I stood. The wooden boards of the back porch were hot under my bare feet, and I wiped my palms off even more on my shorts before pouring a glass of lemonade for myself. While I drank and the two witches continued to talk, I checked my phone again. Nothing.
“You should get a text from whoever you’re waiting on in…” Josie lifted her sunglasses to squint at the bright sky. After a moment, she lowered them and reclined back in her seat, “Like half an hour maybe?” That was fucking creepy. For many reasons.
I was pretty used to Sylvie’s brand of witchiness, which mostly had to do with her garden. Or when she sometimes took walks with me in the forest, and she’d caress and whisper to the fungi she’d encounter like they were dear pets. Which, yeah, had weirded me out the first time I’d watched her do it.
But there was something psyche-chilling about being able to see the future so clearly. And being so comfortable to just blurt stuff like that.
When I remained silent, Sylvie sat up and swept her stare down and up my body, lingering on my wrists. She’d asked me a few more times if I wanted to talk to her about ‘it’, but she didn’t press when I refused each opening. What the fuck was I supposed to tell her that wouldn’t invoke a look of pity? Of serious, pointed questions of whether I was okay?
And more terrifying—she would feel obligated to tell my brother. Which I was never going to be ready for.
Sylvie opened her mouth, and I braced myself, finally having to confront what I’d been so set on avoiding. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with that Jaguar, would it?”
My mind floundered, shorting out for a moment after being built up to shut down or maybe start an argument with her.
“Jaguar?” Now Josie was sitting up, Kool-aid red buzzcut bright against her tanning skin. Her swimsuit was in the same color. “I didn’t know there was such a thing.” She lightly smacked Sylvie on the arm, “What more have you been keeping from me?”
I shot a look to my sister-in-law, “Shouldn’t you not tell people that?”
Instead of hitting me back, her face got a little redder, even though the rest of her remained relaxed. “She’d know if she ever met him. Witch, remember?”
A sardonic snort shot through my nose before I took another gulp of lemonade. It was true—Sylvie and I both knew immediately what he was when we first ran into him at Vinny’s. Aside from the distinct scent, he moved with controlled, rolling movements that barely passed for human, in my opinion. Especially when he was on stage or leaping into the air on his board.
“Okay, this may seem like a dumb question,” Josie piped up while she picked under her fingernails, “but when you have sex with a shifter, do you ever do it when they’re like… not in human form? Is that bestiality?”
My throat spasmed, and deep, stinging coughs wracked my body. The lemonade was like acid as I tried to get a control on my breathing. When I looked over at Sylvie who looked calm and contemplative, I had to mentally swipe away the gross things that came to mind.
“What?” Josie glanced between us with lips turned down in a pout.
Sylvie shrugged. “Not sure what other people do, but I wouldn’t think of having sex while half-shifted as bestiality.” I started choking again. “Why?”
Now it was Josie’s turn to go almost as red as her hair. She directed her attention back to her nails, “Just wondering.”
“Can we please not allude to what you and my brother get up to? I already kind of hear it. I don’t want even more details.”
But Sylvie’s attention was still on Josie, curiosity and knowing swimming on her face with furrowed brow and pursed lips. What conclusion she was coming to, I had no idea, but before I could say anything else, tires crunching on gravel sounded from around the house and up the road.
Again, I brought my phone out and checked the time. The hours seemed to have slipped by while we were out here, even though it was hot as fuck. It was one of the days Orion’s classes ended earlier, but he typically stayed in his office doing work until it was time to pick up Dahlia, and Ollie if he wasn’t at home with Sylvie, from school.
Sylvie and I glanced at each other in question while two sets of doors thumped closed, and I caught my brother’s scent. With it was one I was familiar with, and the quietly distressed voice was as soft and deep as I’d remembered.
They bypassed the house all together and proceeded around the side and over to us. My brother was dressed in his work clothes that weren’t a far stretch from what he wore in his free time. The simple, gray long-sleeve and dark jeans made another round of sweat run down my face and neck, but he only seemed lightly flushed by the heat. At least for now.
The Wolf with him had loose hair down to their waist, sharp eyes that were emphasized by long, delicate lashes. A thin, golden headband glinted in the sun, and the billowing purple blouse they wore caught in the summer breeze.
As they got closer, I saw the lines pinching their expression into one of worry that made them even more interesting to look at.
“Hey, Juno.” Sylvie called pleasantly, but her brows were turned up in concern, noticing the look on their face as well. I’d been around my brother’s best friend a handful of times in the past, but they’d always seemed in good spirits and calm. Now, though, they were only able to muster a weak smile in our direction before plopping down at the iron porch table.
They undid the top buttons of their shirt before leaning back and running a weary hand from their brow to scalp.
My brother sank down into the lounge chair with Sylvie, and she automatically settled between his thighs. Sweaty and all, Sylvie leaned back into Orion’s embrace, and he closed his arms around her waist.
A few ducks in the lake quacked and splashed in the water amidst the weird silence that’d fallen over all of us. I shifted where I stood, unsure of my place here. No one called me out or eyed me like I didn’t belong, but I also had no idea what the hell was happening. Josie’s face was crumpled in frustration as she looked between Juno’s chest and their face, and it was she who finally broke the silence. “What’s going on?”
Juno pinched the bridge of their nose. “Family stuff. I need to fly out as soon as possible, and Orion offered to drop me off.”
“Oh,” Josie frowned, “are… do you need anything?”
My brother’s friend gave a dry chuckle that, even to me, seemed very uncharacteristic. They pinched the front of their shirt and jostled the fabric, hair waving as they fanned themself. “For my family to actually tell me what the hell is going on. Apart from that, it’s fine.” They craned their neck to look over in her direction, and their face noticeably softened. “But thank you.”
As if she couldn’t sport any more red, Josie looked down nervously at her toes, “Are you sure?”
Sylvie and Orion seemed to communicate something to each other with just a glance, and right as I was making a mental note to ask my sister-in-law about it later, my phone dinged with an incoming text, cutting through the thick air like a bell. Or a gunshot.
I turned away from the three of them on the porch, trying to give myself space in case I was about to be royally disappointed.
Facing the lake, I opened my phone to find what I’d been waiting all night and morning for. Which, really, wasn’t much time at all. But seeing his name on my screen released the band that’d been pulling my chest tighter and tighter. It was like I could finally take a deep breath after only panting for so long.
Río
Hey, Princess.
And then I was sent into another round of anxiety—this time instead of a low, rolling discontent, it was tinny and sharp. His response was an acknowledgement but also nothing. And I couldn’t respond right away. Could I? Oh, god, had I accidentally turned my read receipts on at some point without knowing?
As my mind spiraled, three dots appeared on his side of the exchange, and I almost started choking again. My lower back was pouring sweat, but I was shivering at the same time.
Río
What’re you doing later today?
“Oh, shit,” I whispered to myself. What was I supposed to say? ‘Nothing’? ‘Let me suck your dick again’? I had half a mind to turn back to Josie to ask her what I should respond with, but when I snuck a glance back at the four adults on the porch, they were talking very seriously about something that obviously didn’t have anything to do with me.
Bitch, you’re an adult, too. Get it together. I forced myself to take a long inhale, clench all my muscles and jaw, hold, and then release.
Without allowing myself more time to think, I typed out a quick response.
Me
Depends. What are you doing?
Río obviously had no qualms with immediate text-backs, because he shot off another response almost as soon as I texted mine.
Río
Thinking about skating after work again. You gonna be there?
Me
I can be
Río
See you at 11
Just like that? Was it that easy? It couldn’t be. What—whatever this thing with Río was or could be, I felt far from having earned it. And yeah, I’d seen him multiple times at the skatepark, but they were always unplanned.
Was this a date ?
Something about his last text felt like a goodbye, so I couldn’t think of anything else to write. I sank to the ground beside my basket of sweet potatoes, fiddling with the cuffs of my sweatshirt. The edge of one of my fingers nudged its way beneath the fabric, almost to see if the raised, bumpy skin had disappeared.
Of course, it was still there. It was like a cruel fucking joke that the quick healing I inherited from my mother didn’t extend to these wounds that would sound the alarm of anyone I encountered. They were a bookmark that constantly called back to the lowest I’d ever felt. Well, actually, not the lowest. I shoved my hands back into the soil as whispers of the pure relief I felt the moment I took blade to flesh ran down the back of my neck.
I breathed through the longing that followed, focusing on the simple task in front of me. I thought of my brother and sister-in-law behind me, along with my niece and nephew. Now, they were the thin threads that kept me tethered here. I nodded to myself, drops of sweat falling off my nose and edge of my chin. Yes, seeing Dahlia and Ollie grow up. I wouldn’t have that if I gave into it. Hurting all of them would be the consequence of me making that final decision.
Was it fucked up that when I woke up in my bathtub, in water on its way from deep pink to just red to match the bits that’d landed on the tile, that I hadn’t thought about them at all? All I felt as I weakly climbed into an Uber with towels wrapped around my bleeding arms underneath my jacket was disappointment that I was still here.
Fucking typical that I’d survived the attempt but was unable to erase the physical reminder.
If I hadn’t been weakened by the blood loss, I would’ve never thought going to the hospital to get stitches would be a good idea. Because after they treated the wounds, I’d blinked and found myself being moved to an inpatient facility.
We watched some good movies there, at least.
I reached my hand back in the dirt, searching but finding no more sweet potatoes that were ready to be pulled. What the fuck was I supposed to do for nearly eight hours?
“Hey, do you want me to pick up the kids?” I twisted around to find everyone standing. Josie was pulling on her t-shirt and shorts that she’d had in a crumpled pile on the floor.
Sylvie was leaned into Orion’s front and looked over his shoulder to answer me. “If you want, but you don’t have to. Josie’s actually offered to take Juno to the airport instead. So, Orion and I were just going to go.”
I waved a hand, “Nah, I’m just going to take a quick shower, and then I’ll go. I’ll take them to get ice cream on the way back.”
“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle them both on your own?” Orion asked.
Instead of bristling and getting defensive at his dry question and expression, though, I thought it over as I stretched back to standing. Any time I’d been in charge of them alone, it was either at the house or for drives to and from school. “I think so. But if it’s looking like I can’t, I’ll just come straight back here.”
My brother nodded, face still blank, “Okay. Text us or call Sylvie if you need help.” For some reason, my brother’s readily given trust in me to keep his children safe made a sudden flood of tears threaten to fall. I blinked them away as I brought myself and my basket back to the porch.
I stretched it forward, “Sounds good. Think you can make something with these?”
He gave them an appraising glance while Josie and Sylvie exchanged parting words. “I’m sure I can. They look good.”
It was stupid, because I wasn’t the one who planted them, nor was I the one with any magical abilities that aided in the vegetables being large and hearty, but I felt a swell of pride all the same.
“All right, thank you, friend, for your help. Can I get my things out of your car?” Juno looked a bit more relaxed now, the lines of tension on their face seemed a bit smoother. But there was a weird tingly tension between them and Josie, even with her offering to help them out.
“Sure,” Orion started to pull away from Sylvie, giving her a whisper that was too low for me to hear and a lingering squeeze on her ass before following Juno back toward the front of the house.
With just the two of us on the porch together, Sylvie ran a hand through my spoils, humming in approval.
“Do you ever get jealous?” Sylvie’s quirked brow asked me what I was talking about, and I honestly didn’t even know why I’d blurted the question. When I’d dated Matt, it was a shallow, high school relationship, sure, but the sting of finding out he was cheating on me with a girl he claimed as ‘just a friend’ had left me feeling angry and paranoid. Even now, the thought of Río with someone else, when we weren’t even anything at this point, made me want to fume.
In it now, I jutted my chin toward the direction my brother, Juno, and Josie had headed. I didn’t think Orion would ever cheat on Sylvie, but that wasn’t the point. It was the proximity. The knowledge that they’d had a past.
Sylvie’s easy shrug was of a woman who was nothing but secure in her relationship. “No. They’d been just friends for a while before I came along. I trust Orion completely. And it’s hard to explain, but being mates, even the thought of going outside of that doesn’t happen. For the two of us, anyway.”
I thought about the dozens of people I knew my mother and father had cheated with during their marriage. And the many more that I probably wasn’t aware of. “You truly believe that?”
She nodded, thankfully not seeming offended at my curiosity. “Yes.”
“Okay, but what would you do if the impossible happened? Don’t you ever get worried? However irrational that may be?”
The look she gave me, a dangerous curl of her lips, was far from the kind smile I was used to seeing on her face. My sister-in-law was obviously a strong person, and the magic I’d seen her wield had always been to connect with nature. Or entertain her children. But the darkness behind her eyes made me feel scared and strangely more connected to her than before. “No. I don’t worry about it. But, if the impossible happened, goddess help anyone in my way.”
And just like that, the darkness cleared like fast moving clouds, and her expression brightened to match the clear sky above. She started to gather the pitcher of lemonade and glasses to bring back inside, and I tried to make sure I hadn’t imagined the flash of viciousness I’d seen in my sister-in-law.
What the fuck else could she do, and more importantly, could she teach me?
Before I could ask, Sylvie started to head back inside. “Thanks again for offering to get the babies. Don’t feel obligated to take them to get ice cream—two kids can be hard to wrangle, even if they’re in the best of moods.”
I followed her, shower and another opportunity to be occupied and not alone with my thoughts on my mind. “I think I’ll be fine. If it’s too much, I’ll just head home.”
We walked into the house that felt like a freezer compared to outside, and the buckets of sweat on my skin began to do that gross, salty cooling thing. Yeah, a good scrub was definitely needed.
“M’kay. Either way, make sure to text us when you’re on your way back.”
The request made me pause, but when I saw her mischievous smirk, I gagged. Yeah, I’d figured they’d want time alone, but I didn’t need a reminder as to why.
Sylvie’s giggles rang throughout the cabin while I retreated into the bathroom. Yeah, just eight more hours to kill, and I would be fine.