Chapter 23 Bailey
Bailey
I’ve never been as personable as Brynn. Never as in control as Brent, and never as fun as Bryson.
And I’ve sure as fuck never been as careless as Brandon.
I’ve always just been the one that everyone forgets about.
The extra Collee who isn’t anything special.
The one who wanted to protect her sister from the horrors of the house they lived in, but could never protect herself.
Yet, for the first time in that barn with Wes while he was scooping horse shit from stalls and I pet his dog—because Bruno is his, I don’t care what he says—I felt like someone who mattered.
And that might be ridiculous, but Wes not knowing a single thing about my past or my family, especially Brent, made me feel like I could breathe for the first time.
To him I’m just me, and he asked me to come with him. He wanted to be around me, even in that moment. It all terrified me, and as soon as I realized what was happening I panicked. I had to get away, but of course he drove me so I found an excuse to go somewhere else.
I decided to feed the goats because the cows look like they want to bulldoze me. Turns out the goats have the same plan because they keep ramming their horns into my legs as I try to feed them.
“I’m the one with your food, you know? Being mean to me is not the way to get it.” I try to reason with the feral little things, but they don’t seem to care.
I manage to get them their food, and as I walk back to the entrance of their pasture the giant man making me feel things I don’t want to feel is standing there waiting for me.
“That was entertaining,” he teases.
“Don’t start with me,” I mumble, keeping my head down as I walk past him through the gate, embarrassed because I can’t believe I shared what I did with him.
I’m trying to remind myself that I don’t like him, and despite what he may have said he also doesn’t like me. That’s something I’m sure of.
We end up finishing the tasks around the property mostly in silence. Which is because of me since I do everything I can to keep my distance. Though, he’s never far and Bruno sticks by us both.
When we get back in the car to leave it feels even more crowded than it did on the way here. The tension between us is so thick, I swear even Bruno can feel it.
Once Wes parks in front of his house, and the loud engine cuts off, silence surrounds us. I can’t get out of the car fast enough.
“Where are you running off to?” Wes asks. I pause but don’t turn around to face him.
“I have stuff to do,” I lie. I have no stuff. Not a single thing. I just can’t be around him much longer for my own sanity.
“What do you have to do?” His tone is suspicious and it instantly makes me defensive.
“Stuff that doesn’t concern you.”
He’s in front of me before I’m able to move; his hand is around the back of my neck holding me in place. “Want to try that again?” he practically growls.
I bite my bottom lip, stifling the urge to sass him even more. Stuck between wanting more of his punishments and finding out what a reward would feel like from him.
The fact that I’m even considering either of these options has me more concerned for the current state of my mental health.
“I just have stuff around the house to do,” I finally say, all while trying not to melt against him completely.
He smirks, his grip tightening and I hold back my squeak. “I have stuff to do as well. Try not to be too distracted thinking about me.”
“That won’t be a problem,” I retort without thinking.
Wes leans his face closer to mine. I’m convinced he’s about to kiss me, our lips barely grazing and I’m dying to close the distance, but his hand on the back of my neck prevents me from moving.
“Yeah, I’m sure I’ll see you later.”
He leaves me standing there, yet again. I want to stomp my foot and demand he stop doing that because it’s a routine I’m not fond of. But I know it’ll only make whatever punishment I’m sure he already wants to give me worse.
I storm off into my house and I swear I hear the sound of his deep laughter as I shut the door.
I don’t think my house has ever been so clean. I manage to busy myself with every little thing I usually avoid. I could’ve gone down to the coffee shop and busied myself there as well, but I focused on my house. It’s spotless and I’m pretty sure my counter just sparkled like they do in cartoons.
Glancing out the window, I see that the sun has set and I’m a little surprised Wes hasn’t bothered me. I check my phone for any messages and see the only thing I’ve missed is from Sutton.
Sutton: I’m making Jameson have a boy’s night when we get back so we can have a girls night.
Bailey: Are you already sick of your husband? That’s not a good sign.
Sutton: Ha ha very funny. No, but I’m still as independent as ever which means I need space sometimes too.
Sutton: Plus I’m pretty sure Parker has blown up his phone daily with how much he misses Jameson.
Bailey: Sounds like someone else we know…
Sutton: Those two are really meant to be.
Sutton: Just like these two grumps I happen to know…
Bailey: I’m not a grump!
Sutton: I never said you. *side eye emoji*
Bailey: You and that damn emoji I swear.
Sutton: Think of something fun for us to do, I’ll be home soon!
There’s a loud noise outside, then another. The banging noise catches me off guard until I realize it’s fireworks. I rack my mind, trying to figure out if today is a holiday. It’s not, so why would anyone be setting off fireworks right now?
After another several bangs there’s yelling and it’s a voice I recognize instantly. Racing outside, I see Wes storming into the street yelling out for whoever is setting off the explosives.
“What the fuck is wrong with you! Get out of here you fucking cowards!” he screams, stomping around, trying to find the source while continuing to scream out.
I run up to him, placing my hand on his chest. “It’s probably a bunch of kids messing around, it’s okay.”
He won’t even look at me. His eyes are wide, and he grabs my wrist as he continues his mission.
“Show your faces, don’t just hide. Come out and fucking face me!”
“Hey, hey, let’s go inside, they’ll stop.”
He’s still not looking at me. It’s like he’s not here at all. He’s somewhere else completely and blind to anything other than finding whoever set off the fireworks.
There isn’t another one for a couple of minutes, and I’m able to get Wes back into his house. He lets go of my wrist he was holding onto to run his hands through his hair. Gripping the strands as he continues to pace around.
Bruno is on alert, watching out the window and when another one goes off Wes looks up. He starts to go toward the door again, but I step in front of it and block his way.
“Move.”
“No, you don’t need to go out there and scream at no one.”
“You don’t get it, they can’t do that.”
“They shouldn’t do that, but you screaming isn’t going to help anything.”
He clenches his jaw, and another one goes off. This time he lets out a frustrated yell then goes to the couch, dropping down, burying his head in his hands. His leg is bouncing while he pulls at his hair.
I dare to step toward him, though I worry it’s a mistake, but when he lets me sit next to him on the couch, I get bolder. I place a tentative hand on his leg, rubbing softly and he still doesn’t move, but his leg stops bouncing.
Continuing the movements, I listen to his harsh breathing, but as minutes go by and no more fireworks occur, his body seems to slowly relax. His hand drops down to mine, gripping it tightly.
I stare at our hands while he almost crushes my bones, but I don’t care. The longer we sit here in silence, the more I hear his breathing even out. I watch the tension leave his body and as his eyes swing over to mine, I see the anguish there. The battle he fights alone and doesn’t let anyone see.
What I see is a reflection of what I feel within myself. Strong on the outside while the inside struggles to continue day to day. I see what we both refuse to admit. And the second his eyes drop down to my lips, just for a moment, I feel like I know exactly what he wants.
And it’s something I’ll give him because I’ll take the distraction with open arms. It’s something we both want. What we both need.
His mouth descends on mine and I’m willing to get lost in him, if only for this one night.