Chapter 31
Bailey
I have no plans. When would I have plans?
Why would I have plans? I just wanted to see what he would do or say.
Of course what he does is leave me questioning my sanity once again.
The weirdest part of it all is I end up texting Jenn letting her know I may not make it in tomorrow.
She and Ava are both working so they won’t need me.
I may not have plans tonight, but I’ve gotten roped into going to the animal shelter with my neighbor in the morning. The man I’m still trying to convince myself I don’t like, even though the lie is getting harder and harder to swallow.
“You went to my shop to get me coffee?”
He shakes his head. “No, these both are for me.”
“Makes sense.” I shrug right before he hands one of the cups to me with a tiny smile.
“Ready?” he asks.
“Sure.” I lock my front door and as we’re walking to his car I say, “You know, I think you just want me to keep riding in your car so I’ll stop complaining about it.”
“Is it working?”
“No.”
“Too bad.”
I get into his car, buckling and then holding onto my coffee for dear life because if I don’t, I worry I’ll end up touching him.
I can’t help but think about the last time we were in this car together.
Not only did we end up fucking, but I felt the warmth of his hand on my thigh, and I’m pretty sure we ended up holding hands.
The simple act feels more intimate than the sex ever did.
It’s like kissing. How we danced around it for so long that when our lips finally met, nothing else compared. All the build-up, all the tension, and yet it was that one lingering kiss that unraveled me.
Everything between us seems anything but simple. The back and forth, the chemistry. It’s all so complex and has my mind so jumbled all the time I can’t even keep up.
Wes gets in the car, and I busy myself with drinking the coffee he brought so I don’t have to say anything.
It’s not like he’s a big talker anyway, which works out for me.
I also can’t think too much into how sweet it was that he brought me coffee, the exact order he knows I like.
From my shop. Even though we could have easily swung by there, he chose to go get it himself.
The animal shelter isn’t far, and Wes has his music playing while the roar of his engine—I’ve always found annoying—is almost soothing now. Or maybe it’s the way the seat vibrates, and I squeeze my thighs together. He’s conditioning me to like this stupid car, I know it.
We arrive and I managed to finish my coffee on the short drive because every time I wanted to say something, I took a sip instead. Wes continues to stay quiet as he gets out of the car, and meets me on my side, putting his hand out to help me out just like last time.
Just like the last time, I take it. Instead of keeping our fingers interlocked as we walk, he lets go. The disappointment I feel should be studied because I have no explanation for it.
When we walk inside, there’s an older woman at the front desk and she smiles widely at the sight of us. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a positive greeting to Wes before. Or myself. I feel like I may have seen this woman around our small town before, but we’ve never officially met.
“Welcome back, Wes. You brought a friend.” She smiles, addressing me. “I’m Gloria.”
I take her outstretched hand in a firm handshake. “Bailey.”
“So nice to meet you. Wes is one of our best volunteers. The dogs all love him.”
“Bruno seems to be really happy living with him.” I give a close lipped smile.
“I’m sure he does.” She looks at him knowingly.
“Is Sadie still here?” he asks in that bored tone he’s perfected that makes him seem even scarier than he looks.
“She is, and I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you as well.”
Wes nods and leads me through another door to a room lined with kennels. I see all the different types of dogs either laying or sitting down. Some look so sad, and some look excited with their tails wagging. One is even standing on his hind legs with his front paws hooked on the grated door.
I’m instantly aware why I don’t come to a place like this because I feel so bad seeing their sweet faces looking at me. I may not be an animal person, but that’s probably because I’ve never had one and never considered getting one either. Until now.
Wes stops in front of a kennel, taking a leash off the hook next to it, and I step closer to see the name tag that reads “Sadie.”
“This is the famous Sadie?” I ask, seeing the medium sized dog with white golden fur. It’s longer than Bruno’s, but not as long as Sutton’s dog Bennet’s.
“Here she is,” Wes agrees, opening the door and putting the leash around her head then handing me the looped end.
I take it, expecting her to try and pull me down the aisle to the door on the end I assume leads outside, but she doesn’t. Even with the chaos around us, the cacophony of dogs barking and whining, she stands right next to me and looks up.
Wes walks ahead of us, and still she sticks by me as we head out the door to a lightly forested area. She doesn’t try to pull me at all, just keeps up with the leisurely pace. I can’t deny that being here with her, with both of them, does feel peaceful.
My mind doesn’t feel like it’s going a million miles a minute. I’m not fighting back memories trying to assault me. The cool breeze hits my face and the sense of calm surrounding me isn’t something I’m used to.
Sadie seems to feel it too because her steps are even as her paws crunch on the fallen leaves. She looks ahead, enjoying not being in the stuffy kennel.
“When are you going to accept that you’re keeping Bruno?” I ask suddenly without looking up at Wes.
“I’m not. I can’t. He deserves more than I can give him,” he insists and I furrow my brows, not sure why he thinks that.
“I think you’re giving him exactly what he needs.”
He shakes his head. “For now, but I’m not someone to plan a future with.”
I nod, feeling like he’s talking about us more than the dog, but that’s fine. If that’s his way of letting me know we will never have a relationship, he doesn’t need to worry about that.
“Me either,” I say honestly. Though, the more time I spend with Sadie walking next to me I think about what it would be like to have her at home, getting to do this every day. Someone to talk to who won’t talk back and give an opinion I don’t want. Someone who won’t judge me.
A built-in-best friend that doesn’t argue with me.
And she isn’t a bird who can scream out embarrassing things, which is much more appealing.
“How were your plans last night?” he asks smugly. Probably because he saw my car parked in the driveway all night.
“They were great.”
“Yeah? Want to tell me what they were now?”
“Not really.”
He huffs out a laugh. “You can’t help it can you?”
“Can’t help what?”
“Being a brat.”
“Obviously not.”
He halts me with a hand on my arm, turning me toward him. Sadie stops walking as well, still sticking close to my side.
“You’re testing me, aren’t you?”
I shrug.
“Do you want to be punished?”
Another shrug.
“You been thinking about me since that night?”
Shrug.
“You’ve been desperate to see if I’ll show up to your house? If I’ll take you over my knee, and make your ass red before I make you ride my face so hard you soak my beard with how much you come for me?”
I gasp, leaning down to put my hands over Sadie’s ears. “You can’t talk that way in front of a child.”
He smirks. “Tell me I’m wrong then. Tell me you don’t want that.”
“I can’t.”
“That’s what I thought.” He smiles smugly and then we continue walking again like nothing just happened. “Have you thought more about going to Jameson and Sutton’s for Thanksgiving?”
My mind whirls with the stark subject change. I stutter trying to find my words once again because the spot between my thighs is throbbing from the visual he just painted. Somehow, now he’s asking me about the holidays like it’s no big deal.
“No, have you?”
“No. Don’t you have parents or siblings to go see or something?” he asks and I can’t help the grimace that appears on my face.
“Don’t you?”
He looks down, kicking a dead leaf on the trail. “My parents aren’t around anymore.”
“I’m sorry,” I sigh, the mood suddenly somber.
“It’s fine, it’s been a long time. Dad died when I was younger, and my mom passed while I was in the Army.”
“That’s awful, I’m very sorry,” I tell him honestly.
“My dad is actually the reason I joined in the first place. He’s the reason I wanted it to be my career.”
I’m surprised Wes is saying as much as he is, but with the way he’s opening up I’m not about to say anything to ruin it.
It’s the first real glimpse of him as a person, not my scary neighbor, not the obnoxious man with an even more obnoxious car.
Not the man that likes to take total control in the bedroom and work my body in ways I never knew it could be worked.
This is just Wes.
“He died in battle, and I knew it would be a possibility for me. I accepted that, but for some reason getting injured and not being able to continue was the hand I was dealt. An Army career wasn’t an option anymore.”
He’s mentioned that before and I didn’t realize how this truly was a crucial part of his life. That without the Army he really didn’t know who he was. And maybe I’ve been too harsh on him. Neither of us know what we’re doing. Neither of us had the lives we thought we would.
Maybe it’s that thought that gives me the strength to do something I never imagined I would do. Something I never even considered until this moment. Because maybe we both can learn to take chances on things that scare us.
We just have to take the leap.
I look down at Sadie, speaking to her, but I can sense the surprise from Wes when I say, “You ready to come home with me?”