Chapter 45
Bailey
Sometimes when I let Sadie out in the backyard, I can hear Bruno out in Wes’s and that’s the only way I know he’s still around. That and seeing his car in his driveway, occasionally. But he hasn’t reached out. Neither have I.
Sadie will walk up to the fence and sniff, sometimes letting out a little cry when she realizes Bruno is over there. I can’t help but feel so bad for her. I want her to be able to play with her friend. I want to talk to Wes. But it’s clear he doesn’t want the same and I’m not going to push it.
His car is gone more than it’s there anyway, and I don’t know what he’s out doing. He might be driving around like he does. Or maybe he’s at Jameson’s, or the animal shelter. Maybe he’s found another hobby to fill his time.
Maybe he’s found someone else to fill his time.
I haven’t put the necklace back on since the day he walked away and left, but I look at it every day.
It’s on my bathroom counter, taunting me, tempting me to reach out to him, but I refuse.
I’m not going to fight for someone who doesn’t want me.
I almost let him in. I gave him more of myself than I should have and now I have to live next door and it’s worse than it was before.
It used to be a mutual dislike, even if he won’t admit that. We had arguments and disagreements, but it was just who we were. Then everything went and changed, altering my entire reality and in the blink of an eye, it was gone. Now I’m here, not knowing where we stand.
I lead Sadie inside, and she trots happily in front of me.
I wish I could be as happy as she is every day.
She always looks like she’s smiling, wagging her tail.
Sutton gave her a bath for me and when I picked her up I needed to go check inventory since the girls told me we were running low on some items. I brought Sadie with and everyone loved it.
I just wish I could be like that. I feel like I’m living on autopilot, waiting for something to happen that isn’t going to. I don’t even know what I’m waiting for, just something.
After a week of this, Sutton calls me for her coffee delivery. I bring it to her and as soon as I’m through the door I’m greeted as always, but not by a person.
“Hi bitch,” Jerry Lee barks. I think back to Brynn telling Brent to get a bird, and it makes me crack a small smile for the first time in over a week.
“Jerry Lee, how many times do I have to tell you, you can’t greet people like that.” Sutton sounds exasperated with the bird.
I reach out, handing her the coffee she asked for, and she takes it thankfully. My smile must drop because Sutton suddenly looks serious.
“How have you been doing?” she asks.
I drop my eyes to my shoes.“Fine,” I mumble.
“Have you seen him?”
I shake my head, still not looking up at her.
“Have you reached out at all?”
I do the same thing again and hear her sigh.
“Has he been by your place?” I risk looking up to see her reaction.
She hesitates before slowly shaking her head and I deflate. I don’t know if I hoped he had and that he looked like he’s doing well, or that he looked as miserable as I feel. But the not knowing is worse.
“He still has Bruno.” I shrug. “I assume he would need to bring him in here to see you soon, right?”
“Right.” Sutton smiles. It seems forced, like she’s just placating me.
My shoulders deflate again. “I don’t know, Sutton.
It was like a flip switched. Everything was fine.
Great even. Then before I knew what was happening he just—” I shake my head at the memory of the moment he said sunflower.
The word we agreed ended everything, and the one thing I never expected him to say.
I also never expected to fall in love with him either, but here we are.
“Obviously none of us know everything he went through when he was in the military, but do you know if he’s ever gotten help or seen anyone about it?”
I shake my head. “I don’t know.”
“I have a feeling whatever happened doesn’t actually have much to do with you and has more to do with him. Even if he doesn’t realize it.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “Were you a therapist in a past life?”
Sutton chuckles. “Definitely not.”
“Well, in your non-expert opinion, what should I do?”
“What do you want to do?”
I bite my bottom lip, thinking about that.
I don’t know what I want to do. All I know is that I want things to go back to how they were.
I want to go back to when everything was happier.
Maybe we were a ticking time bomb, but at least while it was ticking I was happy.
Even if the explosion ends it all, I want to know I did everything I could to try and defuse it.
“I want to talk to him,” I say softly.
“Then you should. I bet he wants to talk to you too, but you both are just too stubborn to do anything about it.”
I glare at her. “Really? I’m stubborn? I remember you didn’t want to date either, Mrs. Married-to-the-man-you-insisted-you-couldn’t-be-friends-with.”
“Hey, this isn’t about me.”
“Fine, we can make it about Lily. Now she’s stubborn. I mean do we really think she’s serious about this new boyfriend of hers when she’s so clearly hung up on Parker.”
“Now, I know you aren’t okay.” Sutton folds her arms across her chest.
“Why?”
“Because you’re talking a bunch, clearly as a diversion.” She glares at me. “Because you’re stubborn.”
I groan, rolling my eyes. “Fine, you’re welcome for your coffee.”
“Thank you.” She takes a sip, and when she lowers the cup from her mouth she looks at me softly. “Just talk to him. You’ll be mad if you don’t try. And it’s clear you’re both hurting.”
I deflate again. “I’ll try.”
“It’ll be okay,” Sutton tries to comfort.
Right on time, Jerry Lee inserts himself into the conversation, “Shut up, Vern! Jizz!”
“Way to ruin a moment, Jerry Lee.” Sutton shakes her head, and I leave before I’m subjected to any more of the bird’s—or my friend’s—wisdom.
The rest of my work day goes by as normal, but I’m distracted thinking about Wes and the best way to try and talk to him. The fact that he hasn’t been going to Jameson’s is concerning. I wonder if he’s been going to the animal shelter. After I close, I head over there to check.
I walk in, and am immediately greeted by Gloria, the friendly woman from before. “Hi Bailey, it’s nice to see you again. How’s Sadie?”
“Oh, she’s great. I’m so glad I found her. I’m actually here to ask if you’ve seen Wes lately?”
Her face drops, smile dimming. “I actually haven’t. Not since I told him I gave him adoption paperwork for Bruno instead of foster paperwork. He may be a bit upset about that.”
“Wait, what?” I sputter.
“Oh, did he not tell you? He came in here about a week ago saying he couldn’t foster Bruno anymore, and I had to break the news to him that he never actually was.” She shrugs. “I saw how he was with that dog and I really assumed he would come around to keeping him.”
“Me too,” I admit softly. Then, I think about how many times I’ve heard him in the backyard since then. “He didn’t leave him here, did he?”
“No, he didn’t. But he didn’t seem happy about it. He hasn’t been back since.”
I sigh, thanking her for her time before leaving. Knowing he hasn’t been to Jameson’s or the shelter has me even more concerned about where he’s been going, and what he has or hasn’t been doing.
I psych up myself the entire ride home. I’m going over to his house to talk to him.
I’m going to do it. But when I get there his car is gone and I deflate, slumping back in my seat.
I need to talk to him. And I will. As soon as I see him come home, I’m going to storm over there and demand he speak to me.
That’s what I tell myself, until I’m laying in bed and finally hear his car rumble down the street. I jump out of bed, trying to get a glimpse of him walking inside, but he must’ve moved quickly because by the time I get to the window his door is already shutting.
I watch his bedroom window, the same window the blinds are drawn over, exactly as they have been ever since I got back. The light never even turns on, and as I sit on my bed hugging my knees to my chest, I watch and wait for any sign of him.
But it never comes.
When I leave for work the next morning, Wes’s car is still parked in his driveway.
When I come home it’s still there. I sit in my car debating on going over there, but I’m back to not knowing what to say.
Everything I prepared last night is now gone so instead of storming over to his house, I go inside.
I let Sadie outside, and look over at the house that’s almost identical to mine, waiting to see any sign of him or his dog, but there’s nothing.
My concern only grows, which is probably why I end up sitting outside for a lot longer than I intend, just waiting.
Eventually, I convince myself that maybe he’s just sleeping or taking Bruno on a walk.
The chill from the air starts to seep into my bones, so Sadie and I go inside.
Another day passes without any sign of Wes and my worry is back tenfold.
I didn’t hear his car leave last night, which I was weirdly anticipating.
As I come home from work again, seeing his car unmoved, something feels wrong.
I try to shake it off, but when I let Sadie outside and look over to his house, I can’t get the worry to dissipate.
The backdoor looks like it’s open, and that’s what does it for me. Something is wrong. I race inside, Sadie following me closely. “I’ll be back,” I tell her as I’m rushing out the front door and over to Wes’s house.
I try to open his front door, only to find that it’s locked. I glance around at our empty street, making sure no one is watching me as I go around the side of the house, through the gate into the backyard.
When I step through the open sliding glass door, the house is cold and dark. My heart races, afraid of what I’m walking into. Gently, I call out his name, not wanting to scare or sneak up on him.
He doesn’t answer, and I walk deeper inside, and my heart completely bottoms out at what I see. Wes is here, sitting on the floor, surrounded by empty bottles of alcohol while Bruno lays by him, concerned.
“Wes?” I call softly, tears already welling in my eyes.
He looks up at me, completely broken and I shatter along with him.