Chapter 47
Bailey
I don’t know what I expected to see when I walked into Wes’s house. But it wasn’t what I found. I never thought I would see the man, larger than life, quiet, and reserved, the one I’ve fallen completely in love with, so broken.
He’s holding me like his life depends on it, and maybe it does.
Clearly, he needs more help than I’m going to be able to give him.
I just hope that he’ll be open to asking for it.
He’s been closed off for so long, refusing to acknowledge the demons he obviously carries around. I hope he’s ready to heal.
I struggle to fall asleep, just in case Wes ends up waking up, but his body clearly needs the rest and he doesn’t stir all night. Maybe that’s why after several hours, I’m able to let sleep pull me under as well.
When I wake up, I’m still plastered against Wes while he’s on his back with one arm across his face, covering his eyes.
At first I think he’s still sleeping until he shifts.
I sit up and he removes his arm so I can see the bags under his red eyes.
The defeated look on his face has me feeling dejected.
“Thank you.” His voice is rough and it sounds painful for him to get the words out.
“I’m going to get some water,” I say, knowing if I mention it’s for him he will refuse it.
When I return with the two glasses he’s sitting on the side of the bed. His shirt is laying on the floor and he’s holding his head in his hands. I set the glasses on the nightstand next to him, and kneel on the floor.
“I was going to get in the shower, but this is as far as I got,” he admits. I can tell it’s tough for him to say, but it already feels like progress.
“Do you want help?” I offer.
“No, I just need a minute.”
I sigh. Placing a hand on his knee. “Wes, it’s okay to admit you need help sometimes.”
He puts his own hand over mine. “I know, but I don’t want you thinking I’m any weaker than you already do.”
I force myself between his legs, reaching up to hold his cheeks, his beard scratches my palms as I make him look at me. “I don’t think you’re weak. I never have, and never could. I want to help you. Please let me help you.”
He clenches his jaw, and I know it’s hard for him to accept help, let alone ask for it. When he nods I know that’s all I’m going to get. But it feels like the first step in the right direction.
I help him get into the shower, and stay close by but don’t get in with him.
My body is screaming to be close to him, but I don’t want to fall into old habits of having sex to avoid everything else.
This is too important to distract ourselves with orgasms just because it’s easy.
We know we can do that. He can get the control he thinks he needs from me and my body, but what he actually needs is control over his life again.
I do what he did for me when I needed him. I get clothes for him to change into when he gets out of the shower and he doesn’t even fight me on it. I can see cleaning up helped him a little bit, though. He doesn’t look as tired, though I’m sure his hangover is awful.
After he’s dressed again, he sits on the edge of his bed, and says something I never thought I would hear him say.
“I want to tell you about what happened, the reason I’m…like this.”
I nod, sitting next to him. “I want to hear about it, but I would never push you.”
Wes puts his hand on my thigh, just resting it there while he seems to gather his thoughts. I wait for whatever he’s going to tell me. Getting some of it out seems like another good step, even though I think we both know he needs a therapist. But if he wants to tell me, I’m here.
“I should’ve told you sooner. We were deployed, I’m not supposed to talk about where, but just know it wasn’t a fun place.
We were doing our normal inspections on the helicopters before taking off when we were attacked.
” He pauses, staring off at the floor as he continues.
“There were explosions all around us as the missiles fell from the sky. We took cover, but I tried to help some of the injured guys. I couldn’t get to them in time, though. ”
I squeeze his hand resting on my thigh, silently letting him know that I’m here, and that he’s safe to keep going with me.
“I caught some shrapnel in my leg. That’s what the scar there is from.
I couldn’t do anything to help, and I don’t remember much else because I passed out from the pain, or blood loss.
I’m not totally sure, I just know I woke up in the hospital.
That’s where I learned just how many of my men died that day.
Those of us that survived weren’t the same. ”
He still isn’t looking at me, just at the floor like he’s lost in his mind as he retells the worst day he’s gone through.
“Even the guys that survived are gone now. My copilot, Chris, just…” He trails off and this must have been what made him completely spiral.
“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it.”
His shoulders drop in relief.
“Thank you for telling me,” I say softly. “I just want you to know that I’m glad you’re here.”
Now he looks at me, complete and total vulnerability in his eyes. “I’m here because of you. You’re my reason. My everything. My angel.”
I want to kiss him so badly, but I don’t want to push any further than I already have.
He must see it, or maybe he wants it too, because he cups my cheeks, swiping the tears I didn’t even realize had fallen.
He brings our faces closer together, my eyes already falling shut with just the smallest brush of his lips against mine.
“Only an angel could make me fall in love like you have.”
His mouth is on mine before I can respond, which is good because there’s nothing I can say.
My mind has gone blank at his confession—what I think he’s telling me.
It really clears out when he kisses me, and when his tongue glides along the seam of my lips I let him in, easily.
He kisses me like he needs me more than air.
He kisses me like his life truly depends on it.
And I do the same.
I never thought we would end up here, like this, but nothing has ever felt so right, either. Especially when he lays me back on the bed, hovering his body over mine while he kisses me deeply. When he settles his hips between my thighs I feel how hard he is against me, and can’t hold back a moan.
“You know what I really need right now?” he asks, keeping his mouth just out of reach as he pins my wrists down by the side of my head and I whimper in protest.
“Hm?”
“I need to feel your sweet pussy.”
I try to arch up into him, but he’s holding me down, so I nod. “Yes, whatever you need, it’s yours. I’m yours.”
He moves the neckline of my shirt, and I know what he’s looking for, but it’s not there.
“Why aren’t you wearing the necklace I gave you?”
I swallow roughly. “Because I wasn’t sure if you still wanted me to be yours and it felt wrong to wear it if I wasn’t anymore.”
“I’m sorry I made you question that, but I want to make something very clear to you.
” His voice takes a serious tone, the gruff, sexy one he usually has with me in bed.
I try to clench my thighs together, but it only makes me feel him even more and I try not to get too distracted.
“You’ve been mine, and you’ll continue to be mine.
The only one with the power to end this, is you. Because I’m yours completely.”
I gasp, the tears starting to well up in my eyes again, and I can’t hold it back any longer. I need him to know how I feel. He’s been able to tell me so much more than I ever expected him to. He’s confessed feelings for me while I’ve hardly been able to form a sentence.
“I’m yours, Wes. I love yo—” He doesn’t let me finish before he kisses me senseless once again.
I’m not complaining. Everything has felt so heavy and with his lips on mine, I start to feel lighter.
Or maybe it’s from admitting what I’ve known for awhile now, actually putting it out there feels so good.
Almost as good as it feels when he slides his hand into my pants and underwear, swiping his finger through my wetness and I’m already moaning for more.
He gives me exactly what he knows I need, rubbing tight circles on my clit that have me writhing underneath him. He groans into my mouth and pulls his hand away, causing me to cry out in protest.
He doesn’t make me wait long before he’s pushing my pants off my hips, but I want to scream as he removes himself from my body to pull them off completely.
“Take your shirt off, Angel, I want to feel every inch of your skin against mine.”
I don’t hesitate to do just that, watching him do the same so he’s completely bare in front of me.
I scoot to the end of the bed, looking up at him.
I run my fingers along his skin, the indented V that leads like an arrow to his cock.
Up his toned ab muscles, to his hard pecs, then down his toned arms until I’m taking his hands in mine, intertwining our fingers.
“Remind me what it feels like to be yours. Show me what your love feels like.”