48. Traumas a bitch
Chapter 48
Trauma's a bitch
Ariana
‘ P rincess.’ Pain explodes as he uses his knife like a punctuation mark every time he says it.
‘ You think you’re better than us now, Princess?’ I can’t breathe.
‘Daddy will be too late to save you, Princess.’ My torso is on fire.
‘This is how it ends, Princess.’ There’s so much blood.
I hear screaming. So much screaming. I want it to stop, but I don’t know where it’s coming from. God, someone make it stop. Hands touch my arms, and I fight them off. My fingers connect with a face and chest, my nails catching on skin as I lash out over and over again. I can’t hear anything except the screaming.
But then something breaks through it. “Baby,” is all I can make out at first, but it’s Luca’s voice.
My Luca.
“Baby, wake up,” I hear him say.
But I am awake, aren’t I?
“Baby, come back to me,” he begs.
But I’m right here.
He repeats these words more times than I can count. I’m so confused. I know my eyes are open, but it’s like I’m looking through a stack of dirty windows and I can’t make anything out. The screaming gets quieter, my eyes start to focus, and my arms give out in exhaustion.
Suddenly, I snap out of it. I stop screaming, and it’s only then that I realize the sound was coming from me the whole time. Fuck. The nightmare again. I blink, and the fuzzy shape in front of my eyes forms into Luca. I launch myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck. He grabs me by the waist to pull me against him. “I’ve got you, baby,” he whispers into my hair.
We’re sitting on the bed, and I’m basically in his lap now. “Luca,” I croak.
It feels like I swallowed a broken glass and vodka cocktail. “Shhhh baby, your throat has to be raw as fuck.” His voice is uneven and thick with emotion and tears… and pain. I pull back to look at him and promptly lose my shit.
His face, arms, and chest are covered in red marks and scratches. Dozens, maybe hundreds of them. His skin is broken and bleeding in so many places. “Oh my god, Luca!” I cry out. I did that. I hurt him. My throat burns every time I talk, but that doesn’t stop me. “I… I hurt you. Fuck! I’m so sorry.”
I bring my aching hands back from around his neck, and I see blood and skin under my nails. I whimper as I raise my tear-soaked eyes to meet his. What I see there both breaks me and puts me back together at the same time. Love pours out of them. Out of him. His hands cup my cheeks, and he brings his forehead to mine.
“It’s okay, baby. You didn’t know where you were or what was happening.”
A month ago, even a few days ago, I would have retreated into myself, tried to push him away because I don’t deserve this man, and he doesn’t deserve to deal with my damaged ass. And while both of those things are still true, I know that neither one of us is going anywhere. He’s mine. I’m his. We’re pieces of a puzzle that belong together. So I throw my arms around him again and bury my face against his neck. One of his hands rubs my back while the other holds my head to him.
“I love you,” I scratch out.
“I love you, too, baby. So much,” he whispers, his lips pressed against my hair.
I reach out with my right arm, instinctually knowing that’s where Lil is, and then she’s wrapping her arms around me and as much of Luca as she can, which isn’t much since he’s a giant.
“I love you, Lil.”
“I love you, too, Ari.” After a minute or so, she pulls away. “I’m going to go find some first aid stuff and make you some hot tea with honey.” She kisses my head and pats Luca on the back on her way out. “Good job, cousin. I guess we’ll keep you around.”
Luca just holds me. I pull slightly back after a couple of minutes and start looking over his injuries again. Most aren’t too bad, but my nails left a lot of marks. More tears fall, and Luca kisses my face where they leave a trail.
“I’m okay, baby.”
“That’s what got through to me, you know? Pulled me out of it.” God, I sound like crap.
“What did?”
“You talking to me, but mostly you calling me ‘baby.’ I always love it when you call me that.”
“Well, now I know what to do next time.”
I start to sob at his words. “I don’t want there to be a next time.”
He pulls me against him again. “I don’t want there to be one, either, but I’ll be here if there is. Let your throat rest. I don’t know how long you screamed, but it felt like forever.”
I snuggle against his chest until Lil comes back with alcohol wipes, ointment, bandages, and tea. She brings a beer for Luca. “I need something stronger,” she says and goes to mix a can of soda with liquor in the closet. Lil and I start cleaning the scratches, and I try not to cry as I put the ointment and bandages on the worst ones. Most of them are minor, but Luca’s pretty much covered in Disney bandages by the time we’re done.
“Ari,” Lil pauses until I look at her. “I think it’s time for Dad to tell Luca everything.”
I sigh heavily, closing my eyes. “I know.”
Luca takes my face between his hands again and waits for me to open my eyes before kissing me softly. “Nothing is going to change how I feel about you, Ariana.”
We’re all exhausted. Lil turns on the TV in the bedroom and finds Beauty and the Beast . And just like on the last hoodie day, all three of us crawl beneath the covers. Luca holds me against him, my back to his front, and Lil lies on my other side, our pinkies linked. I’m asleep before Belle gets to the castle.