24. She Saw a New Beginning
She Saw a New Beginning
Lola
Ruth sniffed my lavender a week ago.
Since then, I’d discovered she adored horses, was ruthless in her pursuit of winning a game of Scrabble, and was deeply suspicious of any guy sporting a man bun.
Something about hipster irony. She wasn’t a fan.
She was also no criminal mastermind. Her dreams of Aiden and me eloping into the sunset had been twinkling in her eyes since the day we’d met.
So, when I walked into the bar behind Brooke, and my eyes landed on that big brute of a man tugging uncomfortably at the collar of a shirt I was certain Ruth chose for him, I wasn’t surprised. I knew he’d be there.
He was more than a bit surprised to see me, though.
He bolted up taller, straighter, his eyes wide.
The slightly awkward smile I offered him across the crowded room didn’t help.
Caught off guard, he gripped the chair in front of him with his big hands, and his eyes dropped to his feet and stayed there.
Brooke snatched my arm. “There’s your man, Lolly.”
I pierced her with an icy glare. “He’s not my man,” I hissed. “And will you please keep your voice down? I’m pretty sure they heard your wishful thinking in Canada.”
Brooke’s stride in her high heels was impressive. She charged ahead, not bothered by my rare outburst in the slightest. “You gonna put that grumpy old bastard out of his misery?” She grinned over her shoulder. “Admit how much you missed him?”
“I didn’t miss him.” I spluttered everywhere. “I certainly haven’t forgiven him!”
“Is that so?” Brooke said.
Ryan’s chuckle died into a fit of pretend coughs when my dark look speared him next. “Want to know a secret to put you out of your misery, Doc?” he asked. “He missed you even more.”
My cheeks flamed.
All the rehearsals in front of Brooke’s mirror had been for nothing.
I was supposed to charge into the bar, all guns blazing, and give Aiden a piece of my mind.
If he thought he could waltz around town playing the vigilante hero, he was in for a rude shock.
But all my perfectly practiced words fluttered away to leave me with nothing but nerves.
Would anyone notice if I snuck out? My palms stayed clammy even after I rubbed them down the front of my dress. My symptoms could be passed off as an illness. Yeah, that was it. I had the plague…or…something.
I bit down on my lip, eyes on the doors.
My escape route disappeared behind a wall of red. “Don’t you even think about it, Lolly.” Brooke’s hands landed on her hips.
“But I’m feeling”—cough—“ so sick.”
“We practiced this! You are strong. You are fearless.” When I refused to speak, she tapped her foot impatiently. “Like we practiced. Go.”
“I am strong. I am fearless.”
“Damn straight. Now, paint on a smile, march yourself over to that table, and give him hell!”
I nodded and slid my glasses up my nose, quaking in my heels but somehow ready. First, I pushed my shoulders back like Aiden did when he was nervous.
I can do this. Strong. Fearless.
I took a deep breath. But before a smile wobbled on my face, an evil twitch kicked Brooke’s lips up.
Wait, what—
Brooke shoved me, and I lurched the last few steps to the table.
Balls.
When a hole didn’t open in the floor to swallow me up, I held up my palm in an embarrassed wave. “Hi, everyone.”
“Lola!” Ruth jerked unsteadily around the table. Her arm pinned me in a warm hug. “Look at you! You look like a dream.” She flashed a sly smile at the man avoiding my eyes. “Aiden was just telling me how pretty you look tonight.”
His eyebrow rose. “You were the one who sa—”
“It was definitely you,” Ruth snapped through gritted teeth. She was all sweet smiles again when she turned to me. “It was definitely him.”
Brooke slung her handbag over the back of a chair and leant over the table to snatch a gold card. “Awesome! Name cards!” She flicked it around for me to see. “The Sunshine Princess.” She grinned. “I guess this one’s my seat.”
“Lola and I came up with some fun code names for everyone,” Ruth explained. “I’m Rue the Day. Brooke, you’re next to the Ginger Ninja. Lola, you’re next to the Grumblejack, and I’ve popped your other friend next to me. Hopefully, she’s not running too late. I think they’ll kick off the games soon.”
“Um… He ,” I corrected.
Ruth’s face fell. “He?”
“Yeah, my friend Ryan Hollyoak is here.”
Withering under her glare, I flicked my hand, motioning for the farmer to step forward and save me. He didn’t appear. Where the heck was he? Sidetracked talking to some guy about Scottish Highland cows? He’d done that before.
“You haven’t met Ryan before?” I asked. “His family owns the farm outside town. Cattle, mostly, but their orchard is where I got all those limes for the tart I made you.”
Ruth’s frown only speared down more with every word out of my mouth.
Where the hell was Ryan?
I twisted around, half-expecting him to be on the other side of the bar, but I jumped, startled, when I found him standing right behind me.
He stood frozen, eyes wide and mouth open, like a stunned fish pulled out of the river.
I nudged Ryan. Nothing. I threw a helpless look at Brooke.
She shrugged. She was as confused as I was.
Ruth’s eyes were daggers. “When you came up with the name Hollier Than Thou, I assumed your friend’s name was Holly or something. I wasn’t expecting a”—her hand waved at Ryan like she was swatting away a hundred annoying flies—“ you know .”
I carefully hid my smile and played dumb. “A… farmer?”
Aiden chuckled.
Ruth’s eyes narrowed to an even sharper line, glaring in Ryan’s direction. “You.” She snapped her fingers. “Ryan Hollyoak, is it?”
The man in question shook off his daze. His hand twitched with nerves as he straightened his shirt. “Uh—yes.” His cheeks were stained bright pink. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Ma’am?” Ruth snorted. “I’m not your granny.”
“No, ma’am.” His throat dipped on a hard swallow. “You are not.”
“Stop with that ma’am stuff. You can call me Ruth. Now, scoot yourself over here. Your spot is next to me.”
Ryan stumbled around the table and planted himself next to Ruth, eyes on her like a dopey puppy waiting for praise. She covered her surprise with a nervous laugh, and his jaw dropped.
Oh, brother. The man was smitten.
Brooke cocked her hip and arched her eyebrows at Aiden. “So, where’s the Ginger Ninja? Still too scared to show his face?”
Aiden smiled. “He’s grabbing a round of drinks.”
“Well, fancy that. I was just headed to the bar myself.” Brooke prepared for battle. She flipped her hair over her shoulders. “I’ll bring us back some drinks.” She winked at me. “And maybe a side of revenge.”
My safety blanket clicked away with vengeful strides. I always knew I’d have to face Aiden alone.
I could do this.
Strong.
Fearless.
There wasn’t much space in the crowded bar. I wriggled through the gap, my body skating so close to Aiden that his shirt brushed against my arm. Nerves fluttered in my chest. He was too close. Always too close. I tried to twist out of his way, but there was nowhere to go.
His hand gently cradled my elbow. “Are you mad at me?”
Strong. Fearless. “Yes.”
“Because of what happened to Evan?”
“Because you broke your promise. Remember? No fists.”
“I didn’t—”
I jerked my arm free. “Watching Ryan do your dirty work is just as bad, you know.”
I would’ve dramatically yanked out my chair to sit down if he hadn’t already pulled out the chair for me. He sat beside me. I ignored his touch on my knee. My gaze locked on the name card. Ruth had done the lettering. She was artistic. She wouldn’t craft a coffee mug that looked like a wonky poop.
“Lola, I’m sorry I broke my promise to you, but I’m not sorry for what I did.” And there wasn’t a hint of remorse in his voice, either. “Evan was never going to stop hassling people unless we did something.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“No, it doesn’t. But I’d rather risk you hating me forever than you not feeling safe for even a second. And before you jump on me, I’m fully aware of the hypocrisy of that statement. I know I’m one of the people who didn’t make you feel safe. That kills me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I want you to feel safer with me than anyone. That’s how I feel when I’m with you.”
I stared at the hands dancing nervously in my lap.
Brooke had painted over where I’d chewed my fingernails to a blunt pink mess.
The last week had been so hard. New messages from an unknown number I knew in my heart were from Chris.
Every creak in my house made me jump, and ghosts lingered in the shadows that crept up the walls at night.
Aiden worried he didn’t make me feel safe, and maybe that used to be true.
But I couldn’t deny that, right now, I felt a lot safer knowing he was nearby.
His eyes locked on my wringing hands. “Lola, if you don’t want me here…”
“You have every right to spend time with your friends.”
“If Ruth’s overstepped—”
“Stop that. She’s great. She’s been keeping me out of mischief.” I thought about it a little longer. “Or getting me into mischief. I’m never sure.” I laughed. “We get along really well.”
“I’ve heard. Like a house on fire.”
Biting back a smile, I fumbled for a better fidgeting spot in the fabric covering my knees until Aiden’s big hand covered mine. A rush of warmth raced to my cheeks.
He leant closer, his voice a gravelly rumble only for me to hear. “I missed seeing you.”
“O-oh?”
“I missed not knowing what you’re reading. What book has your attention now?”
“I’m not sure how I feel about it yet, but I started Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys.”
A smile tugged at his lips. “Have all beautiful things sad destinies?” he recited in an achingly gentle voice. My heart soared. He’d read it. “That won’t be your fate, pretty Lola.”
“I’m n-not pretty.”
“No?” His finger lightly traced the hem draped over my knee. “I think you’re absolutely stunning.”
My heart cracked so hard against my ribs I was sure he could hear it. “Y-you, um, look great, too.” I gulped. “I like your shirt.”
“You do? It’s, uh…” He coughed into his fist, and lowering his voice, his tone almost seductive, he added, “It’s organic linen.”
I giggled. “It’s nice. It suits you.” I pushed up my glasses, nerves getting the better of me. “It matches your eyes.”
Ruth snorted.
Aiden shot a warning glance over his shoulder. “Ruth, mind your business. Talk to Ryan about his horses.”
“What?” Ruth squealed, excited eyes flying back to the farmer. “Horses?”
Ryan nodded. “We have three horses on the farm. Well, four, actually. I helped birth a foal this morning. We named her Dolly. She’s a real beauty.”
“Aiden, did you hear that?” Ruth clapped her hand against her cheek. “Ryan has horses!”
Aiden smirked. “Imagine that.”
Ryan turned hopeful eyes to the woman beaming next to him. “Do you like horses, Miss Ruth?”
She scoffed. “Do I like horses…”
She sat on the edge of her seat, lost in a never-ending stream of excited chatter with the farmer. She was like pure sunlight when she was happy, and Ryan basked in the glow with a smile bigger than I’d ever seen on his face.
I bumped my shoulder into Aiden’s and whispered, “And Ruth thinks she’s the only matchmaker in the room.”
Aiden didn’t laugh at my joke like I expected. “I truly am sorry about all this. Ruth… Her interfering…” He sighed. “Once she gets an idea in her head…”
“She’s determined? Stubborn? Doesn’t listen to anyone because she knows best?” I tapped my chin. “This sounds an awful lot like someone else I know.”
Aiden grunted.
“So, in your constant battle of wills, which of you backs down first?”
“Me.”
“Every time?”
“Every damn time.”
“Have you ever beaten Ruth at Scrabble?” A slow grin spread across my face. “Or do you let her win that, too?”
“Let her win? In my dreams. It’s a triumph worth crowing over for months when I finally beat her.”
Proud, I lifted my chin. “I’ve beaten her.”
Aiden’s mouth dropped open. “Bull.”
“Four times.”
“Lies.”
“The secret is blocking all those triple-word scores she likes to get.”
“Nah, no way. She’s letting you win. It’s all part of her plan. She’s been lulling you into a false sense of security so she could sneak attack with the matchmaking.”
I laughed. I never wanted these silly moments between us to end or for his smile to fade.
I wanted to talk about Scrabble and listen to him tell stories about Ruth forever.
And it was shallow, and vain, and so very silly…
But I wanted him to tell me again how pretty I looked.
No, not just pretty. Stunning, he’d said.
“Hello…” A tap on a microphone blasted through the speakers, followed by acoustic feedback that screeched loud enough to shatter me to my core. “Hello? Everyone? It’s time to get started. Welcome to Games Night!”
My ears still rang. I darted a look at Aiden. No bright smile warmed his face anymore. His head hung low, and white fingertips dug into his knees like he was hanging on for dear life off the edge of a cliff.
“Aiden.” I was careful to keep my voice quiet so no one else would hear. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah.” The answer came out through gritted teeth. “I wasn’t expecting the noise, that’s all.”
“I’m here.” I soothed my hand in a circle on his back. “Tell me if you want to take a breather. We can go outside and get some fresh air.”
His eyes lifted, wild, like the day at the clinic. My shoulders tensed, waiting for the hit. I expected him to shrug me off, bark that everything was fine, and to mind my own business. But he didn’t. His face didn’t shutter. No harsh words ever came.
Aiden nodded. “I don’t want to ruin tonight for Ruth—or you. Will you count with me? Like you did the other time?”
I started the count, our eyes locked on each other, every beat from one to ten. At six, his hand relaxed, pink returning to his fingertips. At eight, his hand left his knee, fumbling under the table for new comfort. His fingers wove around mine as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Almost there,” I whispered, starting again at one.
Not just for the count.
For us.
In my heart, we were almost back to where we’d started, too.