Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
Novalee
Levi is already halfway to the shop door by the time I’m still fumbling with my seat belt. He moves like a whirlwind, his energy too restless to wait while I’m tangled up in a knot of fabric and frustration.
Koen, on the other hand, steps out of the car at an unhurried pace, rounding to my side. He’s pushed the passenger seat forward by the time I’ve finally managed to get rid of the seat belt, then extends his hand to me. He looks silently amused at my struggle, but there’s nothing mocking in his gaze.
I hesitate for a split second, something in his offered hand making me pause. I’ve never needed someone to help me.
Why does letting him be here feel different, even okay?
His fingers are warm and strong as I let him pull me to my feet, and I swear there’s a tiny squeeze before his thumb brushes over the back of my hand, lingering like it’s a statement.
“You could have told me this place is so…” I start, feeling the warmth creep up my neck to my cheeks.
Fuck . Since when am I flustered?
I don’t get flustered, especially not over appearances. Yet, here I am, feeling painfully out of place. I pull at the hem of my hoodie, hoping he doesn’t notice my sudden insecurity.
The panic attack in the car was already enough to bruise my ego.
“So what , Little Thief?” He draws out the nickname, his thumb brushing one last time over my knuckles before I pull my hand away.
“So fancy . I’m in my sweatpants, for fuck’s sake,” I mutter, glaring at him.
“I hadn’t even noticed.” He suppresses a smile and rests his hand on my elbow, steering me toward the shop. “And trust me, nobody else will either.”
“You’re not exactly a fashion icon yourself.” I huff, still feeling the awkwardness prickling under my skin. “So that’s not very reassuring.”
“Oh, now you’re critiquing my wardrobe?” There’s a glint in his eyes that dares me to push back.
“No,” I mumble, glancing at his leather jacket, black jeans, and the way the fabric clings in all the right places. “You dress in the same black stuff every damn day. It’s predictable.”
And annoyingly hot, not that I’d say that out loud.
“First off, they’re not the same. I have twenty pairs of these jeans and shirts. I wash them between wearing them, believe it or not. Second…” he pauses, giving me that cocky, half-lidded look, “… we’ve only met four times. A bit early to say it’s every damn day, don’t you think? Prejudice much?”
“Well, I’ve seen you on TV, in magazines, and billboards. It’s always the same look. So, no. Not prejudice, simply observation skills. ”
“You’ve got me all figured out, haven’t you?”
“Absolutely not.” I huff a laugh. “I have no idea who you are. You’ve been a rock, cold and unreadable. And now, today, you flicked a switch.”
Koen stops walking, turning to face me. “How so?”
Before I can answer, Levi’s voice cuts through the moment. “Guys, you coming or what?” He’s standing at the shop door a few feet away, radiating impatience.
It seems that boy never had to wait for anything in his life.
I glance toward him, but Koen’s fingers catch my chin, pulling my focus back.
“How am I different today?” His dark eyes are searching, and I’m suddenly hyperaware of how close we are. Close enough that I register the warmth of his breath.
I swallow, feeling the weight of his question and the way his gaze seems to pin me in place. “Well, you’re… like this.” I gesture vaguely, feeling stupid under his gaze. “ Nice.” I swat his hand away. “And I don’t know if I like it.”
He studies me, his eyes boring into mine as if he’s stripping away my words to see what’s underneath. And dammit, he must find the truth in them because a genuine smile spreads across his face.
I hate that he knows and sees through my sarcasm and hesitation. Yes, I like this side of Koen, which is even more dangerous than his infuriating side.
If the last few days have taught me anything, it’s that I’m done being alone. Maybe Levi is right. Maybe I should live in case something good happens. Maybe this is something good. And if it isn’t, I can still sink back into my black hole if it goes wrong.
It’s not like anybody is waiting for me there.
Koen’s eyes glimmer with something I can’t quite place— an invitation, a promise, or maybe it’s the satisfaction of knowing he’s cracked my facade. He raises an eyebrow, his lips still curved. “Nice, huh? I’ll take it.” His hand brushes down my arm, then he steps back, his smirk growing wider. “Let’s catch up before Levi explodes.”
“Finally.” Levi throws his arms up dramatically. “You guys can flirt some more when we’re inside, not standing on the threshold like peasants who aren’t invited.”
Koen snorts, shaking his head. “Relax, Dove. Not everyone is as desperate to make an entrance as you.”
Levi places a hand on his chest, feigning offense. “Desperate? I prefer the term enthusiastically dramatic . It’s called charisma, darling.”
Koen turns to me, his smirk still in place as he whispers, “See what I have to deal with every day?”
“Excuse me? I heard that,” Levi accuses while stepping into the shop, and I follow him, suppressing a laugh.
The clerk at the counter glances up, and her eyes widen as she immediately recognizes the twins. Her face lights up, and she practically skips around the counter to greet Levi. “Hey, you,” she says, throwing her arms around him. Pulling back, she questions, “You’re back already?”
“You know me.” Levi returns the hug, then shrugs boyishly as he adds, “I can’t stay away. But today, it’s not about me. I’ve got you a nice little project.”
“You do?” she asks, glancing at Koen and giving him a friendly smile, which he returns with a polite nod.
“As you know, it’s my birthday tomorrow—” Levi starts.
“Our birthday,” Koen mutters.
“Technicalities.” Levi waves him off, and I have to suppress another laugh. “Anyway, I want my girl, Glitter, here to be the star of the show. Give me your most beautiful and sexy dress. Something that fits this vision of a woman. ”
Her eyes shift to me, and she smiles, her expression kind. “It’s nice to meet you, Glitter. I’m Kati. And I’m sure everything will look amazing on you, so I guess we have a big selection to choose from.”
She didn’t even bat an eye at my sweatpants.
“Ah! I think this screams for champagne, don’t you?” Levi exclaims, and Kati nods, disappearing to the back and leaving us standing by the counter. When she returns, she starts to hand us each a glass, but Koen shakes his head, holding up a hand. “None for me, thank you. I’m driving.”
Levi, however, takes two glasses and looks at me expectantly. “You won’t make me drink alone, right?”
I clench my teeth, shaking my head while I glare at Koen. “I can’t.”
“Why not?” Levi’s eyes flick to Koen, then back to me.
“Koen wants me sober. Always .” The words are clipped, my gaze still on the man in question, who’s watching me carefully.
Levi grins, his gaze bouncing between us again. “ Right. Ko, brother, please, get that stick out of your ass so she can have a glass of champagne with me?”
Koen sighs, but there’s a hint of amusement playing on his lips. He steps closer, his eyes locking onto mine as his hand comes to cup my cheek. “All right,” he says softly. “You’re allowed to drink champagne with Levi.”
“No… forehead tapping?” I ask, bewildered, ignoring the fact that he’s allowing me to have a drink.
Bastard.
His lips curl playfully, and his hand wanders from my cheek to my forehead, tapping gently. “There.”
It’s as if a weight lifts off my chest as relief washes over me, the effect almost dizzying.
Thank God.
I grab a glass from Levi, downing it in one go, my throat burning as the bubbles rush down. But it’s a good burn. So much so that it almost makes me tear up, finally being able to dull the edges again.
Three days without a drink, yet it may as well have been years. I missed the numbness more than it’s healthy to admit.
I reach for the other glass from Kati, who hands it over without question. “Thank you.”
The second glass goes down just as fast. The warmth starts to spread, coating the raw parts of me, and I feel my muscles slowly unclench, my heartbeat steadying. It’s like coming up for air after being underwater for too long.
Levi chuckles, clearly amused, while Koen stares at me, probably unsure whether to be impressed or worried.
Both would be appropriate.
Levi lifts his glass, grinning as he clinks it against my empty one. “Let’s get this party started!”
He immediately disappears into the racks with Kati, his eyes wide with excitement like a kid in a candy store. Kati holds up a beautiful, sparkly silver dress, and Levi eyes it critically, then shakes his head, diving deeper into the sea of dresses.
Koen, however, stays close to me, his eyes scanning the racks as we walk. He pauses, pulling out a dress. “How about this?” he asks, handing me a long, emerald-green gown with intricate lace sleeves. “It matches your eyes.”
Why would he care about such details?
I take it, running my fingers over the delicate material, but when I come across the price, I almost choke on air.
Fifteen thousand dollars?
“Koen, I can’t wear this.”
Before he can respond, Levi reappears, his face twisted in disapproval. “She’s right. No way she’s wearing this.” He shakes his head. “That’s not sexy enough. That body needs to be shown off.” He takes the green dress from my hands and puts it back on the rack, then grins as he hands me another dress. A long black one with no sleeves and a high slit up the thigh. “This. This will turn heads.”
I swallow and, almost subconsciously, rub circles on the silk between my fingertips.
It’s beautiful, daring… just my taste.
“You like this better?” Koen asks, searching my gaze.
“I like both of them. They’re so… expensive.”
Levi huffs a laugh. “Girl, you have no idea what expensive even means.”
Koen takes the dress from me and touches my elbow again to guide me toward the fitting area.
I look between the two of them, curiosity getting the better of me. “How rich are you guys, anyway?” I ask, trying to keep my tone casual. “Millionaires?”
“We are very rich,” Koen shares, tilting his head with a smirk. “… in love . And that is the most important thing.”
“Yes, that,” Levi adds, rolling his eyes dramatically, then reaching out and tapping my nose. “And Little Bird, your guess is way off.”
So even more than millionaires.
Fuck.
I scrunch my nose at him, batting his hand away. “Okay, even if you are… you shouldn’t spend so much money on me.”
I’m not worth it.
“You know,” Koen says after hanging the dress in a fitting room. “I don’t want to leave any money behind. Why should I? I don’t want kids, so I have no one to think about. When I leave this earth, I’d like my bank account to read a big, fat zero. ”
Levi nods in agreement, a grin spreading across his face. “Or a negative balance. That would be even better.”
“Well, that won’t be a problem for me,” I mutter, making them both chuckle.
“Come on.” Koen nods toward the fitting room. “Try it on.”
I give them both a wary look before stepping in and closing the curtain behind me, taking a deep breath. The dress is beautiful, and I slip it on. It hugs my curves perfectly. The slit cuts very high up my thigh, almost to my hip, and the neckline dips just enough to be suggestive without being too much.
Looking at myself in the mirror, I almost don’t recognize the woman staring back at me. The dress is beautiful and sexy, but also…
I look expensive .
Then my eyes fall on my burn. The scar stands out against my skin, and my breath catches in my throat as the unease starts to rise again. The dress is perfect, but the scar is a reminder that I’m anything but.
I’m so damn stupid. I should have covered it with glitter.
I hadn’t even thought about it.
Clenching my jaw, I shake my head. I can’t do this. I can’t step out there and show them this part of me.
I’ve already exposed enough of my trauma to them.
Before I can decide whether it would be that bad to pull the dress off, stuff it into my bag, and tell them it mysteriously vanished before I walk back home, Levi’s voice echoes through the fitting room. “You done, Little Bird? Come on, let’s see it!”
I squeeze my eyes shut, taking a deep breath.
Get a fucking grip, Nova.
It’s a scar .
Slowly, I pull my hair over my shoulder to at least cover it a little bit as I push the curtain aside, stepping out. Levi’s eyes widen, and he pulls in a sharp breath. His gaze sweeps over me, and there is genuine appreciation in his eyes.
“Yeah, you’re done here,” he mutters, turning without another word and walks to Kati, asking loudly if they have shoes to match the dress.
I shift uncomfortably, my eyes flicking to Koen. He hasn’t moved, but he’s standing so close with his eyes locked on me that I watch his pupils dilate. Heat rises to my cheeks, and I cross my arms over my chest, trying to shield myself from the intensity of his stare.
He steps even closer, his eyes dropping to my shoulder, and without a word, he reaches out. His fingers are inches away when instinct takes over, and I pull back.
“Stop,” Koen commands softly. “Let me.”
My eyes shift from his outstretched fingers that hover over my shoulder to his brown ones. There’s something there, something genuine that feels like understanding. I hesitate, my heart pounding, and then slowly, I nod.
His touch is featherlight as he pushes my hair over my shoulder, his fingers brushing over the scar with a tenderness that takes my breath away. The warmth of his skin against mine makes me gasp. It’s as if I’m breathing in the same breath he exhales as he leans in to inspect the scar.
He traces the raised skin before his eyes meet mine again, and there are questions there, unspoken, lingering. He’s looking at me like he wants to understand, like he wants to know the story behind the scar, my story.
There’s an urge to let him in, be vulnerable for once, and tell him what I couldn’t tell anyone before.
Except it feels too raw, too real.
And we’re in a fucking store.
I shake my head the tiniest bit, and Koen nods, a silent understanding passing between us. After one last stroke of his thumb that makes me shudder, he pulls his hand back, but his eyes never leave mine.
Kati reappears, breaking the spell between us. “These should do the trick,” she says, her smile bright as she approaches us with a pair of silver stilettos in her hands.
I take the shoes, glancing down at them. They’re beautiful, with delicate straps that glitter in the light. Before I can bend down to put them on, Koen takes them from me, and without a word, he slowly sinks to his knees in front of me.
The sight of him there, on his knees, stirs something deep inside me. My pulse quickens, and heat blooms low in my belly as my imagination starts to wander, thinking of all the dirty things he could do from that position.
Pushing the dress higher, checking what kind of panties I’m wearing… or maybe he pushes them aside, licking me until I forget my name.
Koen glances up at me sharply, and then, almost as if he can read my thoughts, his hands remain steady as he guides my foot into the shoe by touch alone, adjusting the straps, his fingers brushing against my skin. His palms are warm and his touch is sure as he glides his hand over my calf, his fingers lingering longer than necessary.
When he’s done with the straps, he grips my calf firmly, and the warmth of his touch seeps into my skin. My breath catches when his eyes meet mine again, dark, full of a knowing glint that makes my stomach twist in anticipation. He gives me a gentle squeeze that intensifies the heat already pooling inside me.
What is happening?
Finally, he rises to his feet, still holding my gaze as if challenging me to say something, to acknowledge the unspoken tension crackling between us. I say nothing, biting my lip to stop the words that are dangerously close to slipping out.
The shoes fit perfectly, almost as if they were made for me. I swallow, trying to steady myself, from the high heels and the feeling Koen’s touch left in its wake.
“Do you feel okay like this?” Koen’s voice is soft, almost too gentle, and the warmth creeps up my neck to my cheeks once again.
I take a breath, forcing myself to chill. “Yeah, it’s… it’s good.”
Koen nods, his lips curving into that small, knowing smile that makes me want to smack him and maybe kiss him, which is a new and dangerous thought.
Instead, I look down at myself, running a hand along the dress’s silk. It’s beautiful, but there’s still that nagging feeling, a need to hide, to cover up what I don’t want anyone to see.
“Can I wear glitter?” I ask, meeting his gaze. “For the party, I mean.”
Levi chuckles from a few feet away. “Of course you can. It’s fucking Vegas. You can come as glittery as you want.”
Right.
“Okay. Then it’s perfect,” I whisper.
It scares me how comfortable I’m becoming around them. It isn’t only Koen’s touch that makes me feel grounded or how Levi’s grin makes me forget, even for a second, but about everything that weighs me down. It’s the feeling that maybe there is a life beyond the scarred pieces of me.
And maybe they could help me find it.
Kati claps her hands together, clearly pleased. “All right. You can change back, and I’ll make sure everything gets sorted out for you.”
Levi and Koen walk with her to the counter, chatting animatedly, and I step behind the curtain again, taking out my phone.
I look at myself in the mirror one last time, then raise the phone, snapping a picture from my cleavage down, making sure the burn scar isn’t in the frame. Just the dress.
I want to look at it a thousand times until I can put it back on tomorrow.
The dress slips off easily, and I change back into my sweats. As I’m pulling on my hoodie, my phone buzzes on the chair next to me. Glancing down, I see it’s a message from Captain Bossy.
Did you guys find a dress?
A grin spreads across my face and without hesitation, I send him the photo I took.
There’s no immediate response, so I wait, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My face looks different, softer somehow, the edges of my usual guarded expression smoothed out, and it’s as if Rosalee is looking back at me.
Would she like the dress?
“I hate wearing all black,” Rosalee pouts, tugging at the leather jacket I wear daily.
It’s weird seeing her without the usual glitter and shimmer that defines her. Instead, she’s draped in my clothes, dark and edgy.
“Yeah, well, you make me wear all the sparkles every damn year.” I gesture to her glittery jacket on my shoulders. I roll my eyes but can’t help the small smile that forms on my lips. “You’re gonna survive one night in leather, Rosie.”
She sighs dramatically, a teasing smile breaking through her pout. “Next year, we need real costumes. ”
I laugh, nudging her. “Sure, Nova .”
We push our way into the packed garage, brushing past kids from school and strangers alike, all dressed in whatever Halloween costumes they could pull together. The smell of alcohol and cheap perfume permeates the air, and sweat glistens on everyone’s skin under the dim, flickering lights. Loud music shakes the walls, vibrating through the ground. Fake cobwebs hang low from the ceiling, grazing our heads as we make our way farther in. It’s chaotic and messy, but it’s perfect. Exactly where I want to be.
There’s an itch under my skin, the kind that tells me he’s close by, so I eagerly scan the crowd. Then, like I knew he would, Ace appears, cutting through the people in his ridiculous magician outfit.
Black suit, cape, a top hat that looks a little too perfect for this kind of party, and a wand in his hand. He walks with that cocky swagger that only he can pull off as his eyes sweep over the room until they land on Rosalee.
“Hey, Trouble, too cool for a costume?” He steps up to her with a grin, showing no hesitation as he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her close, leaning in for a kiss.
“Ew!” Rosalee pushes him away, her face scrunching up in disgust. “What the hell?”
Ace blinks, confusion flashing across his face. “What—”
That’s when I lose it, a loud laugh bursting from me, and I double over, clutching my sides. “Oh my God, Ace, are you serious?” I manage between fits of giggles.
Rosalee shoots him a glare, crossing her arms. “You seriously can’t tell us apart?”
Ace looks from her to me, realization dawning as he rubs his neck, and a sheepish grin spreads across his face. “There is no fucking way anybody could tell you two apart,” he mutters, shaking his head. “I normally know because Glitter is… glittery. ”
Rosalee raises an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Not good enough, asshole.”
Ace finally turns to me, his eyes narrowing as he strides over and attempts his earlier action again by wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me against him. “All right,” he whispers as his lips brush against mine. “You got me.”
My laughter fades as Ace’s hand settles on my hip, the familiar warmth soothing. He kisses me then, and I can’t help but smile as my fingers curl into the fabric of his magician’s coat to pull him closer.
“You look like such a good boy tonight,” I tease, pulling back only enough to meet his gaze. “The suit, the hat… very good-boy energy.”
Ace’s lips curve into a smirk. “Hey, I wanna be good. Life’s not letting me.” He leans in again, kissing me deeper and longer this time, his hand sliding up to tangle in my hair.
When he pulls back, his eyes search my face, taking in the glittery eyeshadow and the shimmering jacket before he cringes. “This feels fucking wrong.” His fingers brush over my cheekbone. “You look weird.”
“Shut up, idiot,” Rosalee interjects, rolling her eyes. “How about you tell her she looks beautiful instead?”
“I don’t have to tell her that she’s beautiful. She already knows…” He pauses, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip. “Both of you know you’re the most breathtaking girls in any room. Everyone turns their heads when you two walk in.” His eyes lock onto mine, something tender and intense in his gaze. “I’d rather tell her the things that make her unique. How brave she is, how smart she is, and how she lights up every place she walks into. She’s funny and sassy and always so damn strong.” He leans in then and rests his forehead against mine, and his next words are spoken so softly that I kn ow they’re only meant for me. “She’s daring, she’s wild, and she’s trouble. Perfect for me.”
My heart swells with so much love it’s almost bursting.
“You’re perfect for me, too,” I whisper back, making him smile.
“All right, all right,” Rosalee says, groaning dramatically. “Enough with the sap. You’re gonna make me gag.”